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Alternate Birth Partner?  

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
As I stated in the chat thread, my beloved was activated last night to help out with the flooding in our state. He's also still on the standby list to go to Iraq. {Or a stateside assignment, but Iraq would be far more likely with his expertise} so he's going to miss our first ob appointment and our first ultrasound. Now when we concieved, we were under the information/impression that he would be headed to Iraq on 3 December 04. He was put on the alternate/stand-by list at the last moment. SO it's not like we didn't have advanced warning. And he's been in for thirteen years this May, so we've always known it was a possiblity....

All of this to ask: Does anyone else have reason or just desire to have an alternate to their primary birth partner? If so, who have you chosen? Does your primary partner agree?
post #2 of 7

I would if I was you.

I would definately have a backup or a friend/sister, someone you feel comfortable with to be supportive. You might find that they are better support during you labor than you partner would be anyway. LOL.
My DH was fine, but he wanted to sleep during my labor when I was "drugged up" and I didn't want him to. I also found it hard to listen to him during labor and I might have been more receptive to a doula or friend.
My labor went fine all in all. I still plan on using DH again, but I am going to do more labor at home, and maybe Hypnobirthing.
post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 
I'm thinking my beloved's sister. She'll be 17, {april b-day} but she's also more than grown up enough. We're very close, and always have been. I remember when she was a little girl..... *sigh*
post #4 of 7
She sounds like a great choice!! Then you'll have someone else to lean on and share the joys - you can never have too much support- and she'll also be missing your beloved, so you can share those feelings too.

Go for it and good luck!
post #5 of 7
I would hire a doula. Someone you can get to know and trust.
post #6 of 7
My hubby will be gone, and I'm looking at a family member to be there for me, or possibly just laboring alone (well with the intended parents there, and they are close friends). I did it alone last time and actually found I labor well alone!

If you think you need alternate support, the suggestions of a family member, friend, or doula to be 'back-up' for you are good.
post #7 of 7
Thread Starter 
Unfortunately we cant' afford a doula, and I wouldn't be all that comfy with a stranger anyways... Nik will be thrilled. She's already looking forward to being at the hospital with me, and if push comes to shove and T can't be there, I wil need her special brand of humor. Which is a combination of mine and T's, mixed with her own dry wit...
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