Need help, pre-pregnancy consult with prospective midwife.

[etoilech]

So, my son's birth was unmedicated, but I wouldn't call it natural, and I wouldn't call it what I wanted either. (It was preterm birth with generous episiotomy, immediate cord clamping, cord traction for the placenta, etc. etc.)

We are discussing our (perspective) second child at the moment with a TTC date of possibly March. I *will not* go forward with another pregnancy until I have a supportive, prudent, research based, practioner. Since I live in Switzerland...I have a language barrier to overcome. I want a midwife with either Englsih as a first language or IMPECCABLE English. So I have found a British midwife, who sounds like she very well might be the lovey, dovey, supportive, professional, midwife I want, BUT I want to make sure that if I am faced with PTL as in my last pregnancy or if I (unbelieveably) go into post-dates she will support me and my wishes for the birth.

I printed out the questions from Pamamidwife's site (Thanks Pam!) and have been thinking long and hard about questions... do you ladies have anymore thoughts on what to ask?

On the upside she was published in Midwifery Today last Spring issue (her name is Sue Brailey).

Thanks!!!

Olivia

[stafl]

I'll see if I can find my list of questions I took with me to ask my midwives... Pam's list is great! I added quite a few, "what if..." type questions, many of which pertained to my own previous experience with a hospital birth, some hypothetical what would you do scenarios, too.

But really, it has been my experience that the best sign is watching how your care-provider reacts when you pull out a list of questions to ask them, even more than their answers to the questions. I've had doctors whose faces turn grey and they rush me out the door, and I've had some that make themselves comfortable and settle in for the long drawn out process of easing my mind.

[etoilech]

I was thinking about the whole reaction thing. Thank you for mentioning it, b/c I think what you've said is very true. Hopefully I will be able to get a good read from her answers and the way she reacts to my questions.

Olivia

[stafl]

I know some of these only pertain to my situation, but I did find my list of questions if you want them... I kept them short and somewhat vague, this list is more just reminders of the things I wanted to discuss rather than the actual questions I asked. Her answers opened the door for me to ask more questions that relate to that topic. All-in-all I think she took two or three hours to answer them all!

help with older DD? DD there during labor?
bring my dog?
what do I need to bring?
closest store?
thankgiving dinner?
things to do?
telephone/internet access?
how many people will be there during my labor and birth?
what if I don't deliver there?
insurance, fees, payments, and $$$?
how long past due date?
postpartum support?
what would make you transport?
monitoring during labor?
internal exams? when and why?
if my water breaks, but no contractions?
rhogam?
GTT?
u/s?

basically the answers I was looking for, which I got, were that it was ultimitely my decision to make (regarding the medical stuff), but they would recommend x, y, or z.

[jraohc]

I don't have additional thoughts on what to ask, but I do have a couple additional thoughts:
1) Interview at least two midwives even if you like the first one. I think it's easier to interpret the answers with others to compare them too. Also, if things don't work out with the first you potentially have a backup.
2) Have some idea of the answers you are looking for. Listen to the answers you are receiving.
3) Remember that if things change later that you can change practitioners later. You aren't locking yourself into something. I think it's helpful to remember that when asking questions, as well as during pregnancy.

Good luck!

[etoilech]

Well, thank you all for your answers (and questions! lol). I am going to interview 3 midwives. The thing is... they all have the same alliances with birth centres and hospitals. It would be hard to find ones with different affiliations b/c that would mean going private, which is garbage here in Switzerland (unless you fancy paying out the wa-zoo for 5 star cuisine, birth with an alp top view, and champagne service upon arrival of your baby ). I am *most* excited about the british midwife b/c well, she sounds GREAT and she speaks English (natively). The Swiss ones speak English too but... you know who wants to translate (or get hubby to) what the cervix is in German during labor...

Olivia

[loving-my-babies]

I think Stacy's question covers pretty much all I would ask... but just as important is how you feel with the midwife. It's YOUR birth and it's important that the people around you are doing everything in their power to let you and your body be in control.