Jan. Mamas Jan. 9-15 - Page 8

[Killick]

Delfina,

I know exactly what you mean. I miss being pregnant and I miss feeling DS move and kick. Not that I want to go back there yet, but still. It is magnified more for me lately just because this was the last time I will be pregnant. We are satisfied with our family size and don't want to have any more. So I am dealing with, not only am I not pregnant anymore, but I will never be pregnant again, either. It is the weirdest feeling sometimes. I know deep in my heart that we are done with the baby birthing phase of life and moving onto the baby raising phase, but on the surface, it makes me really sad that I will never bring another baby home, I will never nurse another kid, never celebrate the first birthday, ect. Each milestone is happy and sad because it is the last one that we will have with our own kids. DH doesn't understand, but isn't bad about it. He just listens and has a shoulder there when I need it. But I do know what you mean about the mourning period.

Nicole

[fromscatteredtribe]

i, too, am trying to SAVOR this pregnancy, even with its tough moments. my experience has been that you get the doors held open from time to time and admiring glances when you're pregnant. when you have that baby all eyes shift and all courtesy goes out the window. i mean there are babies everywhere and they are babies for a LONG time. women are only visibly pregnant a few months of their lifetimes and men are in awe of it, women who want to be pregnant notice it, and women who've had children reminisce while looking at you. it's pretty incredible. the people who do pay attention to you after your babe is born are usually only noticing the baby or giving advice. when i run into a mom who's just given birth, i try to look her in the eyes and talk to her and ask about her and sometimes i don't even mention the baby or say something short and sweet. i think that's what i always miss about not being pregnant is the sudden invisibility. people might be extra nice for a week or two while you "recover" and then it's old news. dh had a vasectomy in october, but since he only had one working testicle and i only had one ovary (after those two ectopics) and we still managed to have four children, so i am not certain of a thing. still, we are pretty sure that we are leaving our birthing years as we leave our twenties. we want to be a nice young fifty when the kids are in college, so we can travel and honeymoon for the first time alone.

[Killick]

Being young enough to enjoy having my husband back to myself is part of the reason that we are done. My parents are a good example of how being young grandparents is cool too. My mom is 46 (I am 27) and my dad is 49. They travel, snow ski, water ski, golf, go anywhere they want to and really can enjoy the kids. They don't need the kids to be quiet like those who are older do. I want to be like that when my kids have kids.

[Delfina]

Oh Nicole, your post brought tears to my eyes. In my head I know that we shouldn't have any more children - we don't have the time or the money. But, in my heart I feel like there is another baby out there waiting to join our family. But, I know I should treat this as it could be the last time....

FromScatteredTribe - you put it into words perfectly. Irma Bombeck (spelling) wrote some quotes of 'what she would have done differently' when she found out she had cancer. One thing she wrote (paraphrased) was "I would stopped complaining about my aching back and swollen feet when I was pregnant and realized that it was the one time in life we can help G-d in his miracles."

[Delfina]

Nicole- I totally agree with you about age. I am 29 and my parents are in their mid-50s and totally active. My dh is in his mid-30's and his parents are in their 70s (he was an 'ooops!'). They try to be involved and active, but they have physical conditions that stand in their way. It's almost like they waited too long (after retirement) to 'live their life.'

[Azreial]

Originally Posted by jessitron

Az, that's great about the siblings class. How cute with the puppy. And your dog turned the computer off on you? That's hilarious! Did she know what she was doing? What a hoot!

Oh she knows what she is doing. She was walking all over right where the power strip is looking right at me. DH told me that she does it to him if he goes on the computer before he plays with her

[Azreial]

I know how everyone feels on not wanting to let go of pregnancy. DH keeps saying never again. Poor guy knew nothing about pregnant women. I've had an easy time of it and he feels bad that he put me through it. I really like being pregant. My moods are pretty good, I rarely get weepy, I love feeling the baby move, I like the way I look with my rounded belly, I've even been complaing that I'm not "big enough" this time. I even like the forgetfulness, it means I never stay mad long becuase I can't remember what I am upset about. I really think that I'd want another child in a few years, that may just be hormones speaking though. And it makes me hurt that this just may be it

[Malama]

You know, I love being pregnant, I love feeling the baby move inside of me. I love my pregnant body- all round and full. But to be honest, I haven't been loving the extra attention I get. It's been a really moody pregnancy and at this point I'd gladly transfer the stares and attention onto a baby. but that's just me.

I am trying to savor it all- doing all the things I've wanted to do - the pics, another case, the henna, etc...but though we talked about my 8 year old being the last one, I always wanted another. So i've been ready for a long time for this one- hence my desire to hold it in my arms already.

I've also been helping all of these OTHER women have their babies- I feel like it's MY turn now!

[rubysmomjess]

Originally Posted by Malama

But to be honest, I haven't been loving the extra attention I get. It's been a really moody pregnancy and at this point I'd gladly transfer the stares and attention onto a baby. but that's just me.

I feel the same way. But I'm pretty shy,too, so I just kind of hate being the focus of attention to begin with. I'm also really ready to be done with the moodiness. It's just hard when I struggle with depression as well to know what's hormones and what's not. And I hate that my moodiness affects dd and dh. But I do love that feeling of thebaby wriggling inside of me

I'm looking forward to having a baby in my arms. I'm nervous about how dd will handle it but I think she'll be fine.

I really want to have one more child, but I think it will be a while between babies, this time. My body is just tired and I think I would like to have more of my emotional issues taken care of before I take on another set of pregnancy hormones.

Lisa- With dd, I got a massage and went into labor 30 hours later. Maybe a nice massage?

P&A- I hope your baby comes soon... you certainly seem to be having a lot of "signs."

Kathy- I hope your dh makes it home soon, but I"m glad having your parents around hasn't been too stressfull. I get a phone call everynight from my mom or MIL. Ugh.

And Violet is totally adorable...I love the smile she has on her face in the first pic...and her little tummy hanging out...I want a baby!

[3_opihi]

I know exactly what you mean mamas. This was my last pregnancy, and its kinda bittersweet, yk? I definiteley do not want to go through it - and especially labor again, but sometimes I find myself contemplating...I also hang onto every little thing Violet does, every day is beyond precious. It is with every baby, but with your last one, it seems like it goes by so much faster.

Delfina - glad to see you back! Glad your little sweetie is a calm easy baby

[jessitron]

Wow, what a positive bunch we are today. Hurray for us!
Pregnancy is fun, and I'll miss being pregnant and getting all the attention. But the prospect of a baby is so exciting, since this is our first, that I think I won't miss it too much.

Before this pregnancy, DH and I said we wanted "two or three children." Now we're saying "three." Lucky me - it seems like most of us with two would like one more, and for the moment at least, I have a hubby who's agreeing. Maybe he is thinking that I'd better get my money's worth out of all of these diapers! ha-ha.

[Malama]

Hey mamas,
I'm gettin busy! I did decide to clean the grout from my kitchen counters instead of nap (lol!). I put oxyclean all over them and am supposed to wait an hour while it does its job. hmmmm. I feel ready to scrub! I'm shocked at myself, truly. I was seriously lying in bed after breakfast and contemplating a looooong snooze- but I'll still have that in the afternoon.

The boys and papa are busy moving ds's fish tank into his new room. It's a huge tank and a huge endeavour, and it's nice to get it going. At least everyone is getting busy over here.

We all picked angel cards this am (do always) and ds#2 got "birth"- he was upset he got it instead of me, but who cares- birth in the house is good for me!!!

Hope others are having productive, or restful days today.
And mamas with their babies here already- keep posting here! it's so inspirational to hear about them (even the exhaustion!!!).
Love,
Karen

[LEAW]

Aaah babies and more babies and baby talk. Can't wait to join you.

The front is coming through, it's going to get COLD tonight, but this afternoon in the gusting rain and wind, the dog and I went to the beach. Needless to say, we're both soaked, the van is wet, she smells like whatever disgusting rotten fish she rolled in, but it was nice to be outside for a bit.

Hopefully I can convince dh to give her a bath now. She's pretty rotten smelling! And we've got to put clean sheets on too, she jumped up here with me before I could stop her. Oh well

Just found out that my best friend from high school is hosting lll meetings at her house for the next 5 months. Must go now.

Lisa

[Delfina]

Hhhhmmm.... Malama, it sounds like you might need to take that nap instead of scrub!! My mw told me that if we get a huge urge to clean the whole house and scrub like never before, to START RESTING because we would be going into labor shortly! I hope that is the case with you!!

My little love is sleeping soundly. He has been a great sleeper the last few days. I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts. I tried to nap during his last sleeping session, but with phone calls etc. it was too hard to keep my eyes closed.

So, I am sure this is so far from most of your minds, but I have started thinking about BC (ugghh). As much as I would like to use condoms, they aren't practical because we don't use them all the time - hence ds#2. I know too many people who have gotten preggo on a diaphragm (and I personally don't like them), so I don't trust them. I really hate the idea of being on the pill and messsing with my hormones (our hormones are what makes us women, yk?), yet my body does pretty well when I am on it. Lastly, there is an IUD, but I hate the idea of having a foreign object in my uterus - which feels like such a sacred place.... Any thoughts??

PS - Thanks Mamamaya! It's good to have the energy to be back!

[mamajessica]

Hi mama's. It's so great to read about how you all are doing. We have been so happy here baby mooning .
I definitely had the "OMG, I am not pregnant anymore" moment a few days ago. I totally lost it for a few hours. I have to say that I feel a lot better now and realize that I really wasn't feeling good at the end of my preg. with all of those pre-e issues.
Being a mama the first time is the most amazing experience. I am so blown away by this baby and am struggling to accept that this beautiful creation came from DP and I...Other mama's know what I mean?

[Pam_and_Abigail]

My thoughts on BC are that there is no good option. Over and over I look for new ways, but our best plan does get us pg from time to time... We do use condoms, but we don't alway put them on right away. Now, I know this isn't the best way, since those little guys sometime escape early but it's not been a problem yet. We also use some charting, though I didn't try temping while I was nursing. However, between dd and this pg, I would think about where in my cycle we were and that would allow us to not use condoms at all for some parts of the month. Dh just confessed the other night he doesn't want the planned vasectomy, and I'm ok with that, so it looks like we may end up with more than the 2 kids, just by sheer accident!
We'd said 2 or 3 kids, until my m/s this pg, then it was two, but now we can't imagine this being our last...

Malama and anyone with an urge to scrub or clean is welcome to come over to my house! Payment is in the form of ready-to-bake frozen cookies (I have white chocolate macadamia, chocolate chip and oatmeal cranberry)

I can recall the loss of pg feelings. When you're pg, you get pmapered (usually), and you have the best excuse in the world to take care of yourself- no one can blame you for having naps, taking long bubble baths, buying expensive health food, or not doing housework "because I just didn't feel like it". You get the good seats on the bus, you get doors opened for you, being pg is almost like being royalty sometimes (though not everyone has this, or all the time). Then *bang*, baby's out, you go from feeling like to most important person to the least important. The focus is on the baby, and of course you've gotta nurture the nurturer, but there's definitely a switch in focus. I hope I don't sound selfish, this is just what I recall from last time. Suddenly, I felt guilty for sleeping in, being tired, complaining about aches and pains.

[Malama]

yeah Delfina, I know all about that burst of energy that women have before going into labor. I did scrub the counters, but started early and have already had my nap. I wanted to mop the kitchen floor too, but stopped myself because I was feeling tired. It's one thing to scrub the counters- but to have to lean over weirdly or to do it sideways to accomodate a ball in front of me is a whole nother thing!
ANyhow, if it's that burst of energy- woo hoo. If not, then the grout got cleaned. it's all good.

And BC- ugh. I hate BC. I don't know how your cycles and stuff were (and can't remember if you're going back to work) but the LAM method (lactation amenorrhea method) is very effective if you meet certain criteria
http://www.engenderhealth.org/wh/fp/clam2.html
there are tons of web references, but this one spelled it out fairly clearly.
I had an IUD for 5+ years- know that I got it out of desperation because teh fear of pregnancy was ruining our sex life. I was pleased with it, but completely understand NOT wanting to get one. Previous I had a cervical cap- kinda like a diaphragm. Unfortunately there is just no one great solution.....

P&A- i don't know if I would want to scrub at your house, but i'd LOVE to come over for cookies!!!! YUMMM!!!

We got a kit for Hannukah to make creme brulee (i.e. the torch to burn the tops). I bought some cream awhile ago to make some- maybe i can muster up the energy to do that today (it's still early here). Sounds like a super yummy treat!!!!

[mamabeca]

Holy Kazowie! We are breaking posting records here! We have more ladies posting, and more posts than anyone, I'll bet! Whew! Just reading up on how everyone is doing is exhausting! It's great to hear from the new mamas, so I think I'll start there. Firstly, Violet is GEORGEOUS!!! She is so amazing... I am SO wanting a baby now... and remembering when my little dd was so small and perfect. I think I have like 50 pictures of her sleeping, stretching, yawning, etc. because the naturalness of these babies in that half-sleeping or asleep state is just awe inspiring. Wow! Delfina, I totally relate to the pregnancy = a higher form of doing good thing. I do feel like there is more purpose to my own life being pregnant, and also that I am more a part of the universe than I normally am... it's just so wonderful! I feel sorry for guys because they don't get to be part of this. The funny thing is, my dh also feels sorry for himself for not being part of it! I try not to laugh, but imagining a baby coming out of this man who won't even go to the doctor in mortal fear of a rectal exam just makes me giggle.

As far as BC goes, I think the vasectomy is an option for us, because dh is older (53) and not likely to miss having more kids, and because we get preggo pretty easily together (ok, the big gap was also accompanied by some bad love making years, baby blues that lasted 2 yrs., and using a spermacide on the few occasions we did gio. We only gio once in the month we got pregnant, so...), while I still have a few years left of pre-menapause and don't want to mess up the system too badly. I was on the pill for quite a few years earlier in life (late teens and 20's) and don't really want to go there again. I don't think it was too good for me. I second the opinion on the 'phram not being totally reliable (I got preggo on it!), and same goes for condoms. So really for us it's tubes for me or him, and it's a LOT easier for him.

It's GREAT that DS#2 is doing so well Del., and you are just Blessed to have such wonderful sons. I don't know if my opinion on BC was worth anything, because knowing that it is my last pregnancy and actually doing something to make that happen are different. I don't want to keep having babies because we are getting older, it's not getting easier, and I'm not even sure it's fair to me or the kids to have a daddy who is 70 at high school graduation! (and we're already there...gulp) On the flip side, both dh and I had amazing youthful youths, without too much stress. We were selfish, fun loving, did everything we wanted, traveled lots and really took our bite out of life. I spent 2 yrs. as a volunteer in Zimbabwe and enjoyed every minute, even having malaria in a backwater Malawi village for 10 days... even in my 30's now, I don't know if I'd survive that ordeal now like I did then. Dh was in a motorcycle gang, climbed mountains, drove cattle and trucks, worked in firetowers in forests miles and miles from anywhere in BC Canada, and really enjoyed being young... I think that sometimes you really need to be young to get stuff done that you want to do...or I did anyway! Just the flip side for us older parents. My good friend Jen had kids young and she's loved having them, and will be young when they are done and gone from her nest, but I can't say I am too envious of her. I just appreciate that she's in a different space because her timing was different.

Heidi - OMG~!!* I can't even believe the number of things that have gone 'wrong' in the last few days for you! What a total nightmare! I guess the only good thing is that ALL of these things, having now gone wrong, can (will?!) be fixed and set aright for when the wee one is needing the house in order (so that you can do some focus on them). I guess... silver linings are sometimes hard to find... and you do have new stuff, as Lisa said, which is kinda cool... and you are truly broke now, having replaced so many things (even with help from yummy uncle), so you are young, broke and baby on hip - the total TV mama (IMO). Hang in there. As Garp said, it isn't going to happen to the same house twice!

Hey Kathy - you are so amazing! I know it's hard to have dh away, but having family inside the circle is so amazing, and I'm sure he'll be back asap (hopefully with a job!).

Lisa - what a stroke of luck! I love going to LLL mtgs (although to be honest the same program over and over gets kind of old) - the social time is amazing and I love having the support of other bf'ing mamas. I just got a return phone tag from our local LLL leader, and left mssg. on her machine, so I plan on going too. She's a quasi friend, as her dd and mine are the same age and took horseriding together last year and also were in the same K class last year for a while (we dropped out 'cause it sucked) . She's a cool crunchy mama, but very sort of schizzy and tornado-ey, which drives me a little nuts. Off topic...sorry. Point is it will be great for you to have that network after baby comes (SOON, SOON, SOON!) and I hope you enjoy having her in your tribe!

Jessica - it is truly amazing, these little people we build. They are nothing, then they are little fish like things, and then WHAMMO! They are bright beautiful spirits with needs and beliefs and opinions (ok, some of this comes a little later - it feels super fast, though!)...needs anyway. And they are so bright and beautiful... this is the reality of midwifery and why women wake up at all hours (I called my mw last thurs. w/ctx 6 min apart at 4am and she was PSYCHED!) and hold our sweaty hands and clean up our poo and blood and ... need I continue??? It is a MAJOR MIRACLE every single time. What we do with ourselves and our choices and our families is another matter. I watched White Oleander today (read it a while back) - I guess I'm feeling very blessed...

Pam&Abs - Yup, sounds like the plug to me! I think that's very exciting. I think that although it could be as long as a week or two more, it's more normal for the time lapse to be within the next few days...so get some rest, eat well, walk a lot, and get the chores done that you REALLY want done before baby arrives. I know it's hard with another latched on and it'll be hard on everyone for a little while, but remember that dd will hardly remember a time without dc2 in your lives! This family you build, with more dc's or not, is just exactly what you will all grow up knowing is normal...YEAH!!!

Scatribe - Woah... you scare me. You are doing SO much with SO little .... try to find time to take it easy a little. I do love your approach to new mamas and I try to do the same. A little compliment is usually in order, but I do try to talk to the mama about her and what she's up to for herself, too. Sometimes I don't know what to say, and it's easier to talk about baby (I think that's why most people go there), but I do try to keep the conversation trained on her and what she's feeling. I know I appreciate getting a little attention now and then, but to be honest here (is there some reason I shouldn't be?) I do wish I had the baby already to be focusing on instead of me. I am truly sick of the comments etc., and I'd like to move ON with the pregnancy social hour. Today I had about a 30 minute conv. with a mama at the library who has a dd my dd's age and a ds who just turned 2. We spent a lot of time on birth stories, names, family misery etc., and it was great not to talk forever about when baby is due

I guess knowing that this is my last is making it hard to let go. Tomorrow night is my "letting go" ceremony. I am planning it for 10pm. I think if I wait until the full moon I may chicken out. I am hoping that Sat. night, with dd at the sleepover, I may end up with some good birthing vibes. I'd be surprised if it happens this weekend, but maybe in the next week or so... my nephew says to wait till the 28th too (his b-day), and it would be ok with me as my parents would then be out of town (never too far for me!), and unable to come a-visiting (South Africa, and still not far enough for me!) for about 2 wks... but I think if we held off telling them for just a few days, like till wednesday or something, then they wouldn't come up anyway, or maybe just for a few hours. Hmmm. Anyway, I am both looking forward to and dreading the ceremony. I'm sure I will cry a lot. I am thinking that I will pass on my pregnancy vibes to my friend Brid, who has been trying to get pregnant for almost a year on fertility drugs etc., and is getting somewhat desperate. She is a great mama to her dd (who is 5 now), and would be a wonderful mama again if she gets the chance...I can only imagine how hard this must be for her!

Ah, OscarMalama - you crack me up! It does sound like it's been a pretty emotional pregnancy for you, which can make a pregnancy less than 'fun', but honestly, you have been so healthy and sort of symptom-less in a lot of ways... you are truly blessed! Keep as positive a spin on it as possible! Getting the grout clean may have been worth all the grouchy/grumpy times... certainly more cleaning than I have done recently! I am going to vacuum again tonight, but I haven't in days and the balls of fluffy dog hair are totally grossing me out! Ugh. How's the new Tat? Did it darken up at all? Pictures??? You da BAAAAD girl, not following directions! I don't either, and my tat, which is a forever one, faded kinda a lot... oh well.

MW visit tomorrow here - thought I'd make a nice strong soup because the weather is the pits. Warm and slushy today, but tomorrow it's supposed to get cccccolld and stay cold for like a week. Two words are being associated with this front...arctic and Canada. And we only EVER mention Canada around here if it's about the cold wind blowin'. Harumph. Also docs visit for dd's leg - this to a g.p. (DO), and dd is PETRIFIED they are going to give her a shot or take blood. She cried twice about it today. Poor thing. She hasn't had a shot since her first day alive (Vit. K), so she doesn't realize how short-lived the issue is... sigh. Well, if it happens, we do have a free ticket for a Friendly's ice cream for after school. Probably they'll just check the leg/knee and send us on our way. Probably...

Ok, I think I've posted a GARGANTUAN one again, and I don't mean to... getting back online during the day has been tough. Today dd was only in school for a couple of hrs. when the teach. called to have me pick her up becuase the pipes burst in the town near the school and they didn't have any water (to drink, flush, etc.). So it's been busier than normal. Got the car dealt with today (tires, oil, etc.) which seems like such a chore but really isn't. 2nd banana bread also failed I guess I'm not much of a baker (I do make good candles!). The choc. chip cookies are doing their job, though, and my pants are feeling tight in the thighs. Tomorrow I may try to find time to do the treadmill for a while. Or maybe a nap...

Lotsa hugs mamas! Nicole, Jess, Az - you guys are GREAT and I didn't get to your posts specifically but I know how you feel from what you wrote...I will try to address more next time. Right now my butt hurts from this hard chair and I have to pee really badly. This baby is sitting ON my bladder and it's sore. LOL! andy

[Malama]

Andy- I got your replacement bead today thanks soooo much. I have a mobile thing (maybe I wrote this already?) that I made with beads I got for my blessingway and I have a place to add a strand with beads from you all.
Your posts are getting longer and longer.... you have much to say mama!

At the advice from some mamas at my LLL Meeting last week, i went through some of the past threads and copied my posts onto a word doc. I haven't been keeping a journal or anything this pregnancy and this is the most writing i'm doing. So at least there will be some record of the last month. One of the moms has a 7 month old and she writes a little bit about the babe in her journal every night!!! amazing. i was certainly impressed. It's amazing how behaviors, words, phrases, etc.... that your kid uses ALL the time during a time period slip your brain. So i'm gonna TRY and stay abreast of things and record this baby's stuff.

I made my family a yummy dinner and all are satisfied. It's been such a productive day, and no Oscar mama!!! I'm in awe of myself!
I did make the creme brulee- it's supposedly setting in the fridge- but seems too watery- I hope it's firm enough tomorrow to make a crust on. never made anything like this. I'm much better at baking.

a friend called and invited one of my boys to go camping this weekend. The thought of letting him go right now was/ is too much for me. I said no and didn't even mention it to him. I doubt he'd want to go and possibly miss the birth, but I didn't even want to put it out there. there will be plenty of time for camping later.

oh, and re:bc.... we're getting a vasectomy too. if we decide we want more kids in the future we'll adopt. too many kids out there need homes anyways.

here's hoping for an excellent night's sleep!!!! (though it's only 7:30 here- i
m thinking ahead!)

[Human_Being]

Feeling better-house shaping up, never thought I'd be so delighted to stick dishes in a dishwasher or feel so privledged to pull fresh washed clothes from the dryer. We painted the dry wall patches in the area where the dresser goes(used to be a medicine cabinet there), and the dresser is just dried from it's last coat of finish dresser goes, so tomorrow I can revel in putting away clothes, too, for the first time since mid September!

Today I got my Thursday work up- accupuncture, massage, and chiropractic all in a row. I feel like such a lush...I know I won't have time to indulge like this after pregnancy. I have trades going with all these folks so i have access to this. My massage freind is making up a an essential oil kit for me and baby, too.

I needed all that though cause I've had a rough week...real emotional upheaval amidst the chaos, but now I feel happy like an end is in sight. My house will have to get whipped in shape tomorrow, cause Sat the blessingway is here. I wanted to do it in my birth space so I hope to have a beautiful space ready, and bring in lots of of sweet energy that can carry me until the baby comes. I have friends coming from all over the state to participate..the upheaval this week was that my sister who lives three miles away won't come. Argh. She was supposed to be at my birth but now she is being so diffcilult I can't imagine straightening it out before then, and I hate to think something would come between us now when the consequences are life long....missing the birth of my first baby!

Has anyone else got Sacred Birthing, a book by Sunni Karrill, a hawain midwife? It is real expensive and only available as print on demand on line, but it is my total life saver this pregnancy. She hold such a high and lovely vision of birth as a spiritual event, and it always brings me to a good place. I have to fight not feeling guilty about following all her recommedation on how to be a radiant pregnant lady, though. If I was following her advice I'd be pshyically in tune with baby, chanting and singing in nature and filling my body with endorphins, making tons of very juicy love all the time, and my kale to ice cream ratio would be reversed. I guess baby picked me for a reason. I do what I can but read about these others having dreamy pregnancies in the book. The book was what got me thinking it would be problematic to have my sister at the birth now. We are in such dischord, I wanted her to hold a higher place for me, but she's just not there for me like that right now. I decided to just play it by ear come birthing time and make it known anyone who is invited to come (just my mom and sister right now) can be asked to leave. I also am inviting her to come play the Transformation Game with me though. It's a board game you have to play to live at the Findhorn community, that is spooky in how it brings clarity to issues and acts as a conflict resoultion tool. SO maybe she'll be up for that.

On BC
Delfina- I know what you mean about the IUD and sacred place, well put...all birth control creeps me out a bit because I love my cycle and moon
lineage and think the ups and downs of female hormones are purposeful and poetic. I hate messing with hormones, it seems like such an inherently bad idea. But it's all risk-benefit ratio. I am a timing/ withdrawl/condom advocate myself, and it's worked all my life....but when its really important someone not get pregnant, and they won't/can't do that, aren't into vas/tubal options, and want a good return to fertitily I think IUDs are the way to go. I really think the plastic IUD that was used in europe for the last 20 years and became availble here about 5 years ago is great. It's called the Mirena IUD, it's plastic, reduces cramping and blleding, and has some porgesterone, but less than 1/80 the amount in pills. The copper IUD has no hormones but increases cramping and bleeding in some women. I thought that was great until the Mirena came out...I think barrier methods other than condoms aren't worth the effort- for all the fuss, most are not more than 80% effective. If I put a bunch of goo on somebig plastic thing and shove it up my yoni eveytime I have sex, it ought not leave me a whopping 20% failure rate after the effort....

I think I'll go to my usual retreat of bathtub/candles/epsom salt/lavendar oil/ chamomile rose tea/sacred birthing book now and try to make myself sleepy.

Oh, we are still working on getting belly/pregnancy pictures up on our website, but if you really want to put a face to a name, we have other photos on line, and soon will have pregnancy baby pics there too...at www.heidiandmartin.com. It has wedding and other non-baby pics, if you just want to match a face to a name. Also, my business web site in down (cause me and husband do it in our spare time- which is none!) but I have a directory listing with a photo here- http://www.birthpartners.com/search/...&pro=1&id=1101. I am the blond.
Heidi