Holy Kazowie! We are breaking posting records here! We have more ladies posting, and more posts than anyone, I'll bet! Whew! Just reading up on how everyone is doing is exhausting! It's great to hear from the new mamas, so I think I'll start there. Firstly, Violet is GEORGEOUS!!! She is so amazing... I am SO wanting a baby now... and remembering when my little dd was so small and perfect. I think I have like 50 pictures of her sleeping, stretching, yawning, etc. because the naturalness of these babies in that half-sleeping or asleep state is just awe inspiring. Wow! Delfina, I totally relate to the pregnancy = a higher form of doing good thing. I do feel like there is more purpose to my own life being pregnant, and also that I am more a part of the universe than I normally am... it's just so wonderful! I feel sorry for guys because they don't get to be part of this. The funny thing is, my dh also feels sorry for himself for not being part of it! I try not to laugh, but imagining a baby coming out of this man who won't even go to the doctor in mortal fear of a rectal exam just makes me giggle.
As far as BC goes, I think the vasectomy is an option for us, because dh is older (53) and not likely to miss having more kids, and because we get preggo pretty easily together (ok, the big gap was also accompanied by some bad love making years, baby blues that lasted 2 yrs., and using a spermacide on the few occasions we did gio. We only gio once in the month we got pregnant, so...), while I still have a few years left of pre-menapause and don't want to mess up the system too badly. I was on the pill for quite a few years earlier in life (late teens and 20's) and don't really want to go there again. I don't think it was too good for me. I second the opinion on the 'phram not being totally reliable (I got preggo on it!), and same goes for condoms. So really for us it's tubes for me or him, and it's a LOT easier for him.
It's GREAT that DS#2 is doing so well Del., and you are just Blessed to have such wonderful sons. I don't know if my opinion on BC was worth anything, because knowing that it is my last pregnancy and actually doing something to make that happen are different. I don't want to keep having babies because we are getting older, it's not getting easier, and I'm not even sure it's fair to me or the kids to have a daddy who is 70 at high school graduation! (and we're already there...gulp) On the flip side, both dh and I had amazing youthful youths, without too much stress. We were selfish, fun loving, did everything we wanted, traveled lots and really took our bite out of life. I spent 2 yrs. as a volunteer in Zimbabwe and enjoyed every minute, even having malaria in a backwater Malawi village for 10 days... even in my 30's now, I don't know if I'd survive that ordeal now like I did then. Dh was in a motorcycle gang, climbed mountains, drove cattle and trucks, worked in firetowers in forests miles and miles from anywhere in BC Canada, and really enjoyed being young... I think that sometimes you really need to be young to get stuff done that you want to do...or I did anyway! Just the flip side for us older parents. My good friend Jen had kids young and she's loved having them, and will be young when they are done and gone from her nest, but I can't say I am too envious of her. I just appreciate that she's in a different space because her timing was different.
Heidi - OMG~!!*
I can't even believe the number of things that have gone 'wrong' in the last few days for you! What a total nightmare! I guess the only good thing is that ALL of these things, having now gone wrong, can (will?!) be fixed and set aright for when the wee one is needing the house in order (so that you can do some focus on them). I guess... silver linings are sometimes hard to find... and you do have new stuff, as Lisa said, which is kinda cool... and you are truly broke now, having replaced so many things (even with help from yummy uncle), so you are young, broke and baby on hip - the total TV mama (IMO). Hang in there. As Garp said, it isn't going to happen to the same house twice!
Hey Kathy - you are so amazing! I know it's hard to have dh away, but having family inside the circle is so amazing, and I'm sure he'll be back asap (hopefully with a job!).
Lisa - what a stroke of luck! I love going to LLL mtgs (although to be honest the same program over and over gets kind of old) - the social time is amazing and I love having the support of other bf'ing mamas. I just got a return phone tag from our local LLL leader, and left mssg. on her machine, so I plan on going too. She's a quasi friend, as her dd and mine are the same age and took horseriding together last year and also were in the same K class last year for a while (we dropped out 'cause it sucked) . She's a cool crunchy mama, but very sort of schizzy and tornado-ey, which drives me a little nuts. Off topic...sorry. Point is it will be great for you to have that network after baby comes (SOON, SOON, SOON!) and I hope you enjoy having her in your tribe!
Jessica - it is truly amazing, these little people we build. They are nothing, then they are little fish like things, and then WHAMMO! They are bright beautiful spirits with needs and beliefs and opinions (ok, some of this comes a little later - it feels super fast, though!)...needs anyway. And they are so bright and beautiful... this is the reality of midwifery and why women wake up at all hours (I called my mw last thurs. w/ctx 6 min apart at 4am and she was PSYCHED!) and hold our sweaty hands and clean up our poo and blood and ... need I continue??? It is a MAJOR MIRACLE every single time. What we do with ourselves and our choices and our families is another matter. I watched White Oleander today (read it a while back) - I guess I'm feeling very blessed...
Pam&Abs - Yup, sounds like the plug to me! I think that's very exciting. I think that although it could be as long as a week or two more, it's more normal for the time lapse to be within the next few days...so get some rest, eat well, walk a lot, and get the chores done that you REALLY want done before baby arrives. I know it's hard with another latched on and it'll be hard on everyone for a little while, but remember that dd will hardly remember a time without dc2 in your lives! This family you build, with more dc's or not, is just exactly what you will all grow up knowing is normal...YEAH!!!
Scatribe - Woah... you scare me. You are doing SO much with SO little .... try to find time to take it easy a little. I do love your approach to new mamas and I try to do the same. A little compliment is usually in order, but I do try to talk to the mama about her and what she's up to for herself, too. Sometimes I don't know what to say, and it's easier to talk about baby (I think that's why most people go there), but I do try to keep the conversation trained on her and what she's feeling. I know I appreciate getting a little attention now and then, but to be honest here (is there some reason I shouldn't be?) I do wish I had the baby already to be focusing on instead of me. I am truly sick of the comments etc., and I'd like to move ON with the pregnancy social hour. Today I had about a 30 minute conv. with a mama at the library who has a dd my dd's age and a ds who just turned 2. We spent a lot of time on birth stories, names, family misery etc., and it was great not to talk forever about when baby is due
I guess knowing that this is my last is making it hard to let go. Tomorrow night is my "letting go" ceremony. I am planning it for 10pm. I think if I wait until the full moon I may chicken out. I am hoping that Sat. night, with dd at the sleepover, I may end up with some good birthing vibes. I'd be surprised if it happens this weekend, but maybe in the next week or so... my nephew says to wait till the 28th too (his b-day), and it would be ok with me as my parents would then be out of town (never too far for me!), and unable to come a-visiting (South Africa, and still not far enough for me!) for about 2 wks... but I think if we held off telling them for just a few days, like till wednesday or something, then they wouldn't come up anyway, or maybe just for a few hours. Hmmm. Anyway, I am both looking forward to and dreading the ceremony. I'm sure I will cry a lot. I am thinking that I will pass on my pregnancy vibes to my friend Brid, who has been trying to get pregnant for almost a year on fertility drugs etc., and is getting somewhat desperate. She is a great mama to her dd (who is 5 now), and would be a wonderful mama again if she gets the chance...I can only imagine how hard this must be for her!
Ah, OscarMalama - you crack me up! It does sound like it's been a pretty emotional pregnancy for you, which can make a pregnancy less than 'fun', but honestly, you have been so healthy and sort of symptom-less in a lot of ways... you are truly blessed! Keep as positive a spin on it as possible! Getting the grout clean may have been worth all the grouchy/grumpy times... certainly more cleaning than I have done recently! I am going to vacuum again tonight, but I haven't in days and the balls of fluffy dog hair are totally grossing me out! Ugh. How's the new Tat? Did it darken up at all? Pictures??? You da BAAAAD girl, not following directions! I don't either, and my tat, which is a forever one, faded kinda a lot... oh well.
MW visit tomorrow here - thought I'd make a nice strong soup because the weather is the pits. Warm and slushy today, but tomorrow it's supposed to get cccccolld and stay cold for like a week. Two words are being associated with this front...arctic and Canada. And we only EVER mention Canada around here if it's about the cold wind blowin'. Harumph. Also docs visit for dd's leg - this to a g.p. (DO), and dd is PETRIFIED they are going to give her a shot or take blood. She cried twice about it today. Poor thing. She hasn't had a shot since her first day alive (Vit. K), so she doesn't realize how short-lived the issue is... sigh. Well, if it happens, we do have a free ticket for a Friendly's ice cream for after school. Probably they'll just check the leg/knee and send us on our way. Probably...
Ok, I think I've posted a GARGANTUAN one again, and I don't mean to... getting back online during the day has been tough. Today dd was only in school for a couple of hrs. when the teach. called to have me pick her up becuase the pipes burst in the town near the school and they didn't have any water (to drink, flush, etc.). So it's been busier than normal. Got the car dealt with today (tires, oil, etc.) which seems like such a chore but really isn't. 2nd banana bread also failed
I guess I'm not much of a baker (I do make good candles!). The choc. chip cookies are doing their job, though, and my pants are feeling tight in the thighs. Tomorrow I may try to find time to do the treadmill for a while. Or maybe a nap...
Lotsa hugs mamas! Nicole, Jess, Az - you guys are GREAT and I didn't get to your posts specifically but I know how you feel from what you wrote...I will try to address more next time. Right now my butt hurts from this hard chair and I have to pee really badly. This baby is sitting ON my bladder and it's sore. LOL! andy