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Jan. Mamas Jan. 9-15 - Page 9

post #161 of 207
Hey Heidi - is that you in the white shirt on your work website! Cool! Very cool website, too.

3am (3:20, actually). No indigestion (whew), just not too sleepy. I do feel tired, so I hope I won't be up too long. Haivng some lemon soygurt now 'cause the bananas are green ( ).

Yeah Malama honey - YOU ROCK! You did a great job today! I think compared with some of your days, it was a great day! Just saying no to the ds camping thing was SOOOO smart! I am telling everyone I make a playdate/appt. with at this point that it is all subject to me not being in labor. I don't much care whether they are left 'hanging' if it doesn't work out if we are busy birthing a baby! And I sort of think they'll be ok with it too. But camping is kinda far, and probably cell phones wouldn't work, and it's likely that you'd be thinking/worried about himduring labor, and, well, I think you were smart! I'm having a hard time saying no becuase it's so much more lonely for the one dd than for your 2 ds's ... kwim? And she's very much a social creature, so I've given in on most things, but I do feel like it's going to be reasonably soon, and I've tailored myself to keeping close to the nest here. Nothing with g-parents in Manhattan, nothing in Mass., just around town stuff. Maybe they could do a backyard camp!? Isn't it mushy and wet there now?

Heidi - that's AWESOME that your house is getting it together! I wish I could come to your blessingway too! I don't have that book, it sounds fabulous! I've not had an especially spiritual life, sort of in spits and start, but this pregnancy has been so amazing and wonderful, and has brought me so much wonder, awe and peace that I do wish I had more of a community here to celebrate it in a more spiritual way. Oh well. You all are more spiritual for me than the family here... and I do have a scattering of friends around the world (Ca., Co., Me, Can., Zim/SA etc.) who are wonderful and keep me connected to a sense of wonder and awe that is part of all this growing and learning I'm doing here. I'm not complaining... but you sound pretty switched on for the ole first time mom!

You're right, Karen, my posts are getting longer. I think not getting on more often is kind of pushing me further. I do have lots and lots and lots of opinions generally, though... and it's such a safe forum to HAVE an opinion... if anyone gets mad they can safely say it (or smilie it!) - kwim? In gneral I try not to stick my foot in it to often, but...

I haven't had any great dreams lately, not since my Hawaii dream... that was such a good one! Ok, not the pig roast part, but the rest was cool! It was neat to kind of 'see' you there. Actually, if that is Heidi in the white shirt on her work website (I couldn't find pics on the other site), then I think I saw her in that dream as she really sort of is! You were a lot bigger in my dream - like more my size, 5'6/7" and like 140, 150 lbs. Which you AIN'T, but your face was close...

Spoke with my SIL tonight, who is such an amazing person, but NOT spiritual in my kind of way, and she said she's been having dreams about me/baby. That was cool! I don't know that it really means anything, as I haven't had any serious contractions since last week (come one baby!), but it's better than NOT having people think about us!

Also about the hone induction thing, Lisa, Castor Oil (I hate to even write it!) will work if you are close to ready (more so than say sex or nipple stim.) but I would SERIOUSLY think about this option as it means many HOURS of sitting and pooing on the toilet, cramping even worse than normal labor, and it makes the baby poo, too, which in a hospital setting can be taken to be fetal stress and they can react funny to that kind of thing. Even to the point of c-sect., due to fetal stress. So SERIOUSLY think about this option as it has ramifications. It does, however, almost always work on full term babies. I've heard that a regular enema may work better and be less invasive for baby.

I think that cohosh (blue? or black? I forget) will help, as will anything else that brings on cramping... that's why exercise, spicy food etc. often work. Yeah, lots of really spicy food (think curry/thai food!). Also exercise becuase it works the abdominal muscles which can get the motor running. ALSO: using Evening Primrose (also a natural Prostaglandin) caps vaginally can help ripen you up - although it sounds like that is already happening: http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/natinduc.html
has a lot of stuff - note what it says about oral sex:
"About fellatio: Actually, it would probably be beneficial, if the idea is to get the labour started. A great OB in Hamilton (John Lamont, I believe) spoke to our class about sexuality and pregnancy. He mentioned the concept that prostaglandins are absorbed 10X more efficiently through the gut than through the vaginal mucosa, with respect to semen and labour onset."

Ok, feeling a little more sleepy, finished soygurt, and hoping to sleep a bit. Busy day tomorrow. Lotsa and

post #162 of 207
Heidi - Thanks for posting the links. Your wedding looks beautiful!

Malama - You have done MANY amazing things this pregnancy. Take a look at that quilt. Phew - I am lucky to get half that much done. I think you are permitted moments of hormonal crabbiness. Your family knows you and loves you! I am glad the day went better, though.

Mamabeca - Your posts are so good. I love reading them. You make me smile and change my attitue if I have been a bit down. Your energy is contagious. thanks for being a January mama...

BC - HATE it. We have charted and use condoms. Used BCP in the past and hated the changes it implied. Not sure hwat we will do this time. I just get scared about Irish twins Even with exclusive breast-feeding my period returned at 5 months. I tested more when my son was small then even in my whole life

Went to a Birth Circle last night. They had a bead ceremony for me. It was wonderful. I added the beads I have received her, too. It was so powerful to have all those women speaking words of encouragement and support. It even caused me to have a birth dream last night. I had the baby at home surrounded by all these strong women (everyone here included). DH wasn't able to be there for some reason. All I knew in the dream was that the baby was born and I was powerful. I didn't even get to see the baby or hold her : Also, I had no recollection of the birth - just that it was amazing and that I was supported...kind of birth amnesia. Very odd...

Must go get some breakfast for us. Busy day picking up the house and prepping for painting (we have our first family work crew tomorrow at our house. They will be painting our great room - WOO HOOO). DH and I might even do the belly cast today. So much to do before babe gets here. I had been wanting her early, today I tell her she can stay put a few more days

post #163 of 207
So I am having a grumpy morning here. DH waited last night for me to wake up to tell me that Will have been fussing in his sleep since his last nursing at 1:30am. He generally goes right back to sleep at night, and sometimes we have a hard time getting him to wake enough to eat off both breasts. This is getting better, but for a couple of nights, I was pretty engorged. It irked me that DH waited for me to take care of the issue, instead of trying to find out what was wrong for himself. If he had just picked him up, he would have found that he was dripping wet! Now, since he has to work, I will also get to hear about how tired he is. Generally, he is so much better than that. So I am not sure what all that was about.

Anyway, as for Will, he is doing great. We are really getting used to each other's routine and habits. It has been so cool to figure out what his cries mean.

Yesterday was an excellent mail day! I got some beautiful beads from Andy, Jessitron, Kathy (slygrrl), and Lisa. They are all so beautiful. All of the beads, with some of my own, are going to make a wonderful and interesting nursing necklace for Will that I will treasure forever.

Sorry about the whining at the beginning of the post. Must just be tired post pregnancy hormones, mixed with a bit of nitwit husband.

Have a good day! Sending out happy birthing vibes to everyone!

post #164 of 207
Originally Posted by mamabeca
South Africa, and still not far enough for me!
Andy, that's pretty far! If I run into any friendly aliens, I'll ask them to abduct your parents.
Thanks for the tip about fellatio and prostaglandins. DH will love that one.

Malama, the good thing about Creme Brulee is, even if the consistency isn't right, it still tastes great. Anything with that much sugar and cream is sure to be yummy, even if you wind up drinking it out of the ramekin.

Birth control - I'm worried about that too. I don't know what we'll do. The pill has worked great before, and also helped with cramps, but I don't want to go back on that while breastfeeding.

Heidi, great that your house is shaping up! Remember in 3 months, when you're sick of it again, how good it was to put away clothes. I hope your sister works things out with you. It would suck to have that getting in the way of your birth energy.

My mom is at my house today, painting a mural in the baby's room. Yay! It's going to be really cool, and I love having my mom here to visit. And it's just mom... amazing. Her husband and my sister (15) and stepbrother (11) are at home. This is our one opportunity to spend some time with just the two of us. She'll come to my midwife appt today, we'll play Scrabble, and maybe tomorrow go out for coffee and nursing bras.

There's a question: nursing bras. When to buy them? Two more weeks to EDD, so it's about that time, but my breasts haven't changed size in the last four months. Should they, again, before the baby comes? Should I wait for them to do something before buying nursing bras?
post #165 of 207
It's early AM and I'm up.

Yesterday I was thinking about whether I had anything holding me back from giving birth (after reading about Andy's ceremony she was gonna do). And I thought, yeah, there is. I have this worry, that the baby will not be alright, not make it, whatever. I guess it's what they call the "3rd baby syndrome". I have 2 healthy and wonderful kids and somehow can't believe I could get another one of those.
I did no testing of any kind this pregnancy- not that I did a lot last times either (both times had an AFP, but don't like that test), and I dunno.... I guess I just have read about so many things that can go wrong, even knowing that the likelyhood is rare.

I realized this all when in the shower yesterday and I know I need to do something to let go of these fears. I know that I am not in control of the birth or outcome, and that I can be open to whatever I need to be. I just think that I probably need to voice it and try and let go of some of these fears. Writing it now, as opposed to thinking of it is probably a good thing. My rational mind, of course knows that the vast majority of births/ babies are safe and normal- and I know that all indicators show this baby is fine. It's just that irrational part. Soooooo
Any ideas for a letting go of this fear ceremony? I gotta do some thinking on it and get on it. I think I need to focus on being open to the forces of labor/ nature and whatever is in store for me and this babe.... something to that effect.

Heidi, I have heard of that book, by Sunni, but haven't seen it. She's doing some workshop next month which I keep getting emails about, but she's on Maui. A friend mw was raving about it. TO be honest, I have not looked at anything birth related in a couple of months and I'm glad for it. I'm a perpetual student and found that too much was clouding my brain. I thought I might start doing some Birthing From Withing art or stuff she suggests, but i can't even bring myself to look through that right now. I think this is a good decision for me..... but I will pursue the book later!!! At least borrow it!
Thanks also for sending the links to your sites! You look as I pictured you too!!! woo hoo!!! I looked at your honeymoon pics- NICE!
And I'm soooo glad your house is coming together..... makes a HUGE difference!!!

Andy- thanks for the on not sending the kid camping. It would not work out for getting him in the night or anything if I went into labor. THey are going 2 hours away and don't even have a cell phone (gasp!). I am ok with them playing at their friend's houses, whatever, but so long as we could get them if we needed them. They are both very social, and love to play (not always with each other!), and I like time away from them, so I encourage play dates, but not too far away at this point!!!!

Proudmom- your Birth Circle sounds so nice. I'm glad it was so nuturing for you. We all deserve to be nurtured now. For sure!!!!

Maybe I can go back to sleep? It's only 5:50 am and dark...... but I'll probably lie awake at this point. Better to lie down though now than try and start my day in the dark!!!
post #166 of 207

I took a nursing sports bra with me to the hospital. I didn't want to be just hanging out there everytime someone came in the room. The sports bra style is very supportive, and stretchy. Your breasts will probably get a bit bigger as your milk comes in, and then once the babe regulates your milk, they usually go back to the size they were when you were pregnant. At least that's my experience.

I got mine at motherhood and target. They seem to be the most reasonable, and although they are plain, they are very well made. Also, a bra that hooks in the front instead of the back works well too, and can be a bit dressier.

post #167 of 207
Malama- I can relate to your feelings of fear. I had the same with ds#2.... With so many children with problems out there, who was I to have two healthy kids? Anyway, I would recommend some type of guided imagery or art therapy. Maybe create a collage of how you envision your new baby, or paint something dark to help rid yourself of your fears.....

Heidi- Your websites are wonderful! I would definitely pay a visit to Rosemary House if I were in Sarasota! It sounds like we have a lot in common in our professional goals. My training is in public health, yet I find myself pulled to being a doula and birth educator - and possibly even a mw. They have a great school in Taos. I am just weary of going through years and years of schooling after just finishing (and still paying off) my masters....

Thank you all for your input on BC.... I guess there are no easy answers, although I didn't know Mirena had only 1/80 the amount of hormones as the pill. It makes it a little more attractive. I also know about the LAM method - and I *love* Engender Health - I would die for a job with them! Unfortunately, I had a breast reduction when I was 18. I am taking Fenugreek and pumping like crazy, but I am not able to fully breastfeed.... Not being able to fully bf my children doesn't make the fact that I am unable to birth them vaginally any easier.

Anyway, I was hoping someone else would ask, but I guess I have to : . What exactly is a Blessingway and from what tradition is it derived? I'd love to hear more about it!
post #168 of 207
ARGH! I'm grumpy again. And terribly annoyed by all the emails and discussions about me. ARGH ARGH! DH has been rather supportive, he always seems to have the intuition of what I need, be it hugs or snuggles or the right answer.

Andy, I've been doing EPO orally for almost a month (on par with your internalizing those prostaglandins!) and vag for a few days. I think my nipples and dh's penis might shrivel up and fall off for all the sex and nipple stim, I've been bouncing and rolling on my yoga-turned-birth ball, drinking the icky rrl tea, eating spicy stuff, walking and walking and walking, went out and bought the cohosh yesterday, I feel a bit more comforted that I have it in the house, but have not decided if I want to try it yet. I'd prefer that over the castor oil, but I'd prefer neither if I can help it.

BC - I went on bcp years ago to help with evil cycles - they are/were always a perfect 28.5 days, but I'd get SO sick, 7 days of heavy clotting yuck, nasty cramps, quality time on the toilet and vomiting, etc. and the bcps got that under control, but the emotional side effects sucked. I think I changed pills every 6 months, either from crazy depression and mood swings or because I'd start spotting a lot. No fun. Barrier just doesn't work for us, but we'll have to come up with something as I got pg on the first try.

bras - I have a few of the Target sports bras and nursing tanks, but I had to buy them a size larger than usual, they were just not going to fit any other way. I also found a nice bra at Dillards, it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen, very much a tool, not underwear, but good support w/o underwire and mostly cotton, and the most comfortable one I've found around here.

Going to make lunch and maybe nap. We have a wedding tomorrow night that I'd rather be in labor for.

post #169 of 207
Hi all!

this is my last day of work. You know I think it's time...I'm feeling kind of grouchy and having a hard time not sounding irritated in my emails. So it's time to stop. They're doing layoffs next week too, so everyone's a bit on edge to begin with.

Anyway...on BC, I don't think I will ever put another hormone in my body if I can help it. Thye make me crazy. We use condoms. It sucks but we seem to be pretty good at it 'cause we got pregnant right after we stopped using then

On nursing bras: I got some Japanese weekend ones that I loved. Especially for the first few weeks when you don't go out much they are very easy and I had a ton of trouble figuring out the one with hooks and snaps...I'm just not that coordinated. The place where I bought them is owned by a nurse/lactation consultant and they are her favorite...but they are kind of expensive.

I have more to write but the toddler grows restless so off to entertain...
post #170 of 207
Lisa- hang in there ds came at 42.5 wks after I had given up on trying to make him come. I think I just needed to relax. Skip the wedding if don't really want to go, just say you were having contractions and though you were in labor

BC-It really has to be one of the worst things. I do go on the pill now and again becuase I have crazy cycles lasting anywhere from 3 wks to 2 mths! The homones mess with me big time though, I get like every side effect-moodiness, hair growth, weight gain, nausea, vomiting, migrains. I never last more than 6 months until I can't take it anymore. I've tried the depo shot. That was one of the worst mistakes of my life. The midwives pushed it after ds was born, it sounded good. I gained over 60+lbs, and I believe was a major cause of my ppd. Yuck Yuck Yuck! I have to agree with whomever mentioned the Minerva. That looks the best to me, but I'm not too sure if I'll be able to use it. I had TWO uetrine infections after ds was born, both bad enough to land me in hospital over over a week each time! I'm not a big condom fan either, dh doesn't care either way. I don't feel too nice if we've used a condom more than a few times a week, so we did withdrawlal.

Things holding up birth/labor: For a while I thought it was fear of tearing again (I tore, not too made with ds but it didn't heal for over 3 months and ended up having to be cauterized ) or getting another uetrine infection. But last night I figured out that is all the people dh wants to come and visit to see the baby. I actually feel almost panic when I think about it. I just want his parents/brothers and sisters, his grandmother to come while we are still at the bc. My mum and sister could come when ever, I don't think either of them will be rushing up. Granted he did cut back his core list a lot but I really don't want to be stuck with visitors. I felt like crap after ds was born, nad I'm sure doing too much/having too many people visit didm't help the infections any. Plus its been so long since I've had a baby that I feel like a new mum all over again. This is just causing me so much stress and dh gets so angry when I try to explain why I don't want people visiting for a couple of weeks. He's says everyone who's had a baby in his family has all these people visiting. I actually feel sick to my stomach just typing it out

Yesterday I starting having contractions around 1 they came every 15-20 minutes. They got pretty intense. They didn't let up with a bath, drinks, chaing postions or resting. After a few hours they even got to 10 minutes apart. Then we starting talking about how I don't want all those people coming to visit, the contractions went back to every 15-20 minutes. That's when I realized that is what is holding me back, why I don't feel ready for this baby. I went to sleep but woke up a few times with ctx, but they had totally subsided by 2 am. So I don't feel that great today.
post #171 of 207
My best advice on bras is the Bravado, which is very adjustable (at shoulder and at breast), comfortable, and made to nurse. They also come in leopard print, solid b or w, flowers, and maybe some others that I can't remember (like everything else!). I hope someone nearby sells them, because they are the best I've found, Jessi.

I just got more beads today! It's amazing how those little envelopes pick my day right up. Morning was a complete disaster taking dd to the doc's inc. a blood draw (her 1st adventure in needles since Vit. K at birth) and then another place for x-rays. I was a wreck. We stopped in at Dunkin Donuts (ugh!) for a treat afterwards, because I couldn't be anywhere near her for the x-rays and she did a GREAT job. What a trooper!!! She's at school now and mw's and doula are expected any moment. I threw together a kale and potato soup, bubbling away on the stove now, so lunch shall be served, but the house is a wreck, and I never did vacuum...I should go do that now... so the dog hair is completely out of hand. grimace face!

You are most welcome on the back up Karen. I know saying no is hard. It's kind of hard to imagine someone asking him to go at this time, since they must know how your family sort of operates and sticks together during these 'crunch' times... weird. Well, I hope you are getting some more sleep!

I hope the painting and visit go well Jess! I wish I had a mom like that... I've been wishing that for 36 years, though, and it still hasn't happened...sigh.

Nicole, hard to know what that man was thinking! A soaking wet baby is not a happy baby, poor little guy. It's good that you slept some, though! I guess it's a catch 22...

Oops! Mw's arrived before I could post, so it's been sitting on my desktop for like 2 hrs., sorry! Well, time to get this out there and maybe have a little feet up time. Take care! I'm having my ceremony toight, so I may not post later, but no promises there! Andy
post #172 of 207

Whew! I can barely keep up with you all.

On BC - I'm scheduled for a Mirena in four weeks. Was wanting the copper one, but doctor talked me out of it, since I would probably want it taken out after a couple months like 90 percent of the rest of her patients. I agree there is nothing fair int he world of birth control. I have a cervical cap too, but I hate the damn thing, and it only has about a 70 percent success rate. Oh, well.

I'm starting to wonder how many of us work in the health field? I know there is Heidi and Nicole and Karen..I'm a massage therapist, slowly, slowly making her way through nursing school. Kinda strange that there are so many in the same sort of field here, huh?

Karen - its great that you are voicing your fears. Weren't you thinking that the baby would come on the 14th? Maybe...you never know?

Lisa- I wish I could give you a hug! I don't really have any advice. My friend swears by some thai salad. I would try an enema before castor oil though. Castor oil is nastly, and you might end up barfing and pooing and laboring all at the same time - no fun!

Ok, off to take baby to 2 week checkup...will post more later...
post #173 of 207
Maya, I'm a psuedo-health related worker. I work with kids with health, and physical disabilities, and some med fragile, and all of their nurses and crap that come with. So I've had my share of med learning...

Even in my pretty pink pjs, I'm a grump today. The sun IS shining, but it's 20 out, and after being 65 yesterday, 20 is just plain bad!

Lucky me, dh worked 10h/4days this week, so I have him all to myself today and Monday is a holiday, so he's glad to have the long weekend. Unfortunately he's set on going to this stupid wedding tomorrow.

Ooh and I've sprouted a beautiful circle of purple stretch marks around my belly button, when I look in the mirror, I have them running vertically up the bottom of my belly like stems to this big fat belly button flower I've grown.

MW's office called to remind me that I have an appointment on Monday at 1, and to wish me luck in not being there. If I do make it that far, they will want a bpp and nst, and to discuss medical interventions. I'm ok with the bpp and nst and a check on progress, but I'm going to hold off any interventions for a few more days beyond my appointment. At least I have comfort in having a plan, if I were just wandering randomly and following medical advice blindly I'd be pretty anxious at this point.

I want pizza! Maybe I can convince dh that giving in to my every craving and spending all of our $$ on take out and eat out is the best thing at this point.

You guys are so supportive, I feel like I just come here and whine, but I do want to say thank you!
post #174 of 207
Az - having just read through the latest posts, I'd like to send off a few words to you. IMO you are MORE than entitled to set some limits on visitors, it is your RESPONSIBILITY. You need to go into this with an open heart and focus your energy on opening up your body to your baby. That is not going to happen easily if you are focused on stress (about the visitors...or any other issue)! I have pretty much told my parents that they can come up the middle of Feb. and stay in a hotel for the weekend. Dh and dd will both be around, and they can all bond, as well as meet the baby. I have ZERO desire to even open the front door for the first week. After that, I'm willing to open it for anyone carrying in food, mail, laundry, or cleaning supplies (or the mw's). Anyone else is given a later time slot, so that I can rest, the baby and we can bond and get into a pattern that works for us, and to minimize the numbers of people running through the house with all their various germs. I think you totally have a right to tell dh (or his relatives, if that's easier) that you'd like to spread out the visits so that everyone has a chance to connect to the baby (right? That IS what they want, isn't it!) and so that you can the baby can get some sleep (not just resting awake in the LR, but actual time in bed asleep). I think they will understand as long as they are given some consideration about coming to visit at a reasonably convenient time. And if they are unreasonable about it, just tell them that they can wait for a call from you about when to visit, and that you'll (pl) call to tell them about the baby before then. Be FIRM, be a MAMA LION, and be sensitive to their needs to be a priority in a situation in which their needs are pretty much extraneous to the issues at hand. But noone likes to feel that way. sigh. I think once you get over this hump you will feel a LOT stronger about being a 2xmama; it's you and me in that boat, girlfriend! I'm kinda nervous about it too... but I do feel good having taken the Mother Dearest bull by the horns and letting myself set my own limits. That was a big step. Tonight is the next, and then we'll see.

Lisa - WHAT IS HAPPENING?! Ok, besides nothing... I mean it really sounds like dc is not yet ready to be born. After like a zillion studies about how the birthing process begins, science (that great question mark in the sky) has finally gleaned that the birth process begins with the BABY setting off a chemical reaction with the release of a series of hormones that stimulate maternal chemical releases that in turn tell the uterus to do it's thing, the cervix to do it's thing, etc. So there is NOTHING that you can do to your body naturally to make that process happen any faster. It's possible that if you asked for more time with ultrasound back up that they might let you go longer. My brother was like 43 1/2 weeks, and some hold on for 44 wks... not that I think you would NEED that much time, oh, no no no, but maybe an extra few days (or a week?) past monday if the ultrasound says everything is ok (like the amniotic levels and such). I guess it'll depend on how cool your care provider is about these kinds of things. It doesn't seem like you have any major hang-ups, or that your body isn't ready, so it really might be that the baby just isn't ready! I shall be sure to send some excellent baby-ready vibes to you tonight. Can't hurt!

Jess - CONGRATS on your last day of work! It's unfathomable to me that you are STILL working at all! I can't even get the energy to vacuum! I give you a ton of credit for going so far! Your nursing bras sound great - I'm happy with the bravados but gee...those sound comfy too!

Ok, time to get feet up before dd gets off the bus. LOL! Andy
post #175 of 207
Lisa- hang in there!!! Don't let anyone pressure you into anything you aren't comfortable with AND, succumb to all of your wishes and desires while you still have that baby in you-- pizza, expensive dinners, etc..... I'd be wary (myself) of taking herbs and doing too much to encourage baby to come at this point. That's just my opinion. I also would talk you your mw about anything you take to get things going (castor oil, herbs, etc....) you want them to be online with your decisions and be supportive. We have not had much luck with herbal inductions but good lucky usually with castor oil- though I'd wait til you're more desperate for either.

Az- I agree with Andy- you need to put your foot down and not let all these people bombard your babymoon space. It's clear it's causing you a lot of anxiety!!! I had one friend who had a visiting hour with her babe. She had a lot of people who wanted to see the kid. So she scheduled ONE hour- was very clear about the time and then she had them all visit then. It was hectic a bit, but at least she got it over with quickly and didn't have to deal with the people for a while afterwards. I know that's hard to do when you're talking about family, but this sounds really important to you.

I had a good cry this am. I told dh I needed to talk to him about my fears and he was just so busy with his life, and his business that he was trying to squeeze me in.... I just couldn't handle that (these are the drawbacks of working at home!) and had a good cry. Of course he responded to that and I voiced my fears and how I know I have no control over them. Somehow I feel MUCH better. Amazing what a good cry can do. I also wrote down all my fears and burned them. We're going to the beach in a bit too, so that should help me cleanse a little and move on.
post #176 of 207
Ann - 2 wks already!?!?! OMG! Wow. whew. sigh. You sound so good, I hope I have your energy later this month! Hope appt. went well! xxx andy
post #177 of 207
Wow, so much going on for everyone! I can't even hope to try to respond to everyone personally, but lots of BIG to all of you who can use them. These last weeks can be so tough, and for me they are all new territory! DD was born at 37wk5d, so this little one is a whole new experience for me. I **so** can't wait for DH to return home later tonight, and then we have just 6 days until he leaves again. I'm honestly trying not to stress too much about whether or not the baby will come or not while he's home, but boy is it hard. My MW recommended sex 2X a day, but I took note of the fellatio suggestion too ~ DH will be quite tickled with that idea! :LOL

I'm glad that some of the beads I sent are finding their way to their new homes. Tricky little things, aren't they? Jessi, I got yours yesterday ~ thank you, it's gorgeous!

I don't have anything to add to the BC discussion, really. Truth is, my period still hasn't returned since before DD's birth ~ that would make it Oct 2001! No complaints here! I'm one who breastfeeding seems to work for as BC, I guess. (NOT that I'm going to take that for granted this time around, mind you!)

Karen, I like the discussion about facing fears before the birth and letting go of them. Thanks for bringing this up! I guess I have a few anxieties, mostly to do with whether or not DH will be here, and I've been trying to let the hope that he'll be here go. It's hard. The good thing is that I noticed myself feeling so calm and at ease with the possibility that he may not be here when I was visiting with our MW yesterday ~ she is such a calming presence, and I feel like she and I have a good energy. Still, I do have to admit that there is a little niggling bit of "what if he's not here???" deep inside.

I took a walk again this morning, for the first time in several days, and that feels really good. I guess I'd held back a bit the last few days because I didn't want to start anything up, but it sure feels good to be moving again. Plus, I was crazy-busy getting the house ready for my parents to arrive, so I guess that left me feeling like I'd had a good amount of exercise anyway.

I'm just babbling on here, and not saying too much of anything! I guess a toddler hiding out under the desk and asking incessantly "pleeeeeeeease may I have my toothbrush??? pleeeeeeease may I have it???" isn't helping much Ok, gotta go and reinforce good dental hygeine!
post #178 of 207

I'm so glad you got it out into the universe and off your own lonely conscience... Good job mama! Love, andy
post #179 of 207
Thanks Andy! I feel so much better this afternoon! We went to the beach. It was so amazingly beautiful there. We've been having a lot of vog- it's like fog, but from the volcano- it makes it all hazy and icky out. Well today was crystal clear and from the beach we could see snow on the mountain- just gorgeous. Being in the water was so nice and I ran into an old friend. Was all good.
And, i saw a mama and her son who is a special needs kid. Now I have to tell you that until today, i would get scared when I saw those kids (no disrespect to anyone who has a SN kid, just my reaction as a pregnant mama). This child has a metabolic disorder that we now (in HI) test for with PKU tests, but when he was born we did not. They called him failure to thrive and put him on high protein formula which caused a host of problems.... anyhow, I'm telling the story because I felt really fine when I saw him and his mom. She's just awesome- she takes him to the beach all the time and is just really there for him. So after my good cry this am, it was inspiring, rather than scary for me.

Of course I got a million stares and comments. "any minute now, huh?" kinda stuff..... but whatever. That's the consequence of going out in pubic with a bare belly- esp one with this henna squigly tattoo all over it.

Anyhow, I strongly recommend facing all your fears mama. I know Stacey tried and had a hard time, but did when she was in labor- it's worth it.

Heather Proudmom- I got your bead today and beautiful card MANY MANY thanks. I soooo appreciate it!!!
post #180 of 207
Here are some more pics- check out the beach and snow!!!

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