Feeling uncomfortable with older nursling's behavior - Page 2

[tryinghardmomma]

My 3yo told me that touching the other milk milk made the milk come out faster when he was drinking. So that made me torn-- I've always had a low supply, but he can "tweak" it higher??? but it bothers me.... *sigh* what to do... LOL... I can relate to having one arm pressed against the other breast to prevent twiddling. He's weaned now, but my 15 mo old is doing it now. I wear nursing necklaces every day, and she'll ignore them and go right for the nipple. I wonder why they don't make a nursing necklace that more closely resembles the feel of a nipple. I just tell her "That hurts mommy, please stop" or I'll take her hand and place it on my face and say "Be gentle" ... she actually will stroke my face now, during playtime, and repeat to me "Gentle mommy"

I definitely think that we have to give them clear limits and boundaries so that they will feel secure and safe, knowing what is expected of them. Have you read the article on the Continnum Concept site about this issue? There are 2 articles that go hand in hand, actually. The first one originally appeared in Mothering magazine, and the other is on the CC site.
http://www.continuum-concept.org/rea...InControl.html
http://www.continuum-concept.org/rea...ngHarmony.html

[gethane]

Well compared to most here, I'm just a newbie as my son is just 17 months but I absolutely can't stand the twiddling or groping so its always been off limits. He compensates by switching back and forth over and over I think .

[mother_sunshine]

Originally Posted by mamadelasmountains

I have a feeling it's just our society's criticism of sustained nursing that is making me feel so weird, and it is also a blurring of what is intimate/ sexual/ sensual/natural, etc.

That might have a lot to do with it.

Respecting one another's feelings is an important part of a relationship. By telling him how you feel, and setting limits on breastfeeding behavior, you are teaching him how to treat others, especially those he loves.

4 is still very young. He's running on pure instinct. He hasn't been exposed to all that yucky social jargon that surrounds a woman's breasts. It's up to you whether you want to buy into it (and lead him into it also). This is the perfect time (while they are still nursing) to teach them a healthier way of thinking of the woman's body, that they can take with them into adulthood.

[callmemama]

Originally Posted by tryinghardmomma

My 3yo told me that touching the other milk milk made the milk come out faster when he was drinking.

Actually, I believe this is accurate!

[loftmama]

tryinghardmomma,

i've never heard of the continuum-concept and just read those articles. the one titled Restoring Harmony describes my relationship with my son to a tee, all the way down to the CLW and then nursing again later when baby was born, etc. WOW! What a concept. Thanks for the link. I'm off to request the book now at the library.

[uzra_hashmi@rediff]

Feeling uncomfortable due to older nursling's behavior

I think it is quite common that as children grow their interaction with mother's body increases. They are curious to see the reaction of their doings, feel confident and playful and become more observant. While nursing my DS (28 months) uncovers the other breast, twists and tweaks it and nuzzles his head in them, but if I ask him to stop he does for the time being and might resume it. If my DD is also at the other breast she also gets some of his attention. Of late, DS has become talkative too. After every 7-8 sucks he starts saying one thing or the other often leaving the nipple to get the reply. This casual approach to nursing is quite annoying at times, particularly if I have planned some chore to do after his nursing or someone else is present in the room. All this seems to be a case for disciplining; I would prefer to put up with his changing habits rather than miss him at my breasts too soon.
Uzra

[SereneBabe]

Originally Posted by uzra_hashmi@rediff

I would prefer to put up with his changing habits rather than miss him at my breasts too soon.
Uzra

That's how I feel. As long as it doesn't hurt me, I just enjoy it. We do have the "privacy" conversation pretty often since she just loves to lift my shirt up as high as she can and that's not super cool in the supermarket, etc. ;-)

--Heather

[Treasuremapper]

I would go with your instincts on this. If it feels odd or uncomfortable to you, that is telling you something. You know your son better than we ever could, of course. It's OK to set some limits.

I'm tandem nursing, too.