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Reforming to CLW- need advice (long post)

post #1 of 4
Thread Starter 
DS is 32 months old. He was night-weaned by around 20 months. At that point I also reduced his nursing to once or twice a day and I often cut him off after 5 or 10 minutes. He got used to that routine and would give a hug and kiss to my breasts and tuck them in for me (pull my shirt down).

Over the summer (when he was 27 months) he was down to only the bedtime feeding and if he forgot to ask for it or if his dad tucked him in and he was okay with it then I would let it slide. (the "don't offer" thing)

I got pregnant (and miscarried) this fall. I was hoping for a break in nursing before the baby was due in June. DS started to have a sippy of chocolate milk (cow's milk with just a dash of the choco mix powder) at bedtime and pretty much "forgot" about nursing.

He would ask to nurse, or tantrum so bad at bedtime that I knew that was the only thing to help him calm down, about 2 or 3 times a month for about 3 months.

When I lost the baby, I had to stay in the hospital for 3 days. That was the first time I ever spent the night away from him. A night or two after I came home from the hospital I offered to nurse him because *I* needed it. Then he nursed again about a week later.

Then it was around 5 weeks without nursing and we had even talked about the fact that we were done. A couple of days ago he was not feeling well and having a meltdown. I offered him mamamilk and he said, "no I can't have that." I FELT HORRIBLE! I said "yes you can" and he nursed to sleep in about 5 minutes.

He nursed two or three times the following day. I don't think he got much milk but I did feel a letdown in the breast that he wasn't nursing from.

Now my DH is baffled (cause I wanted to wean and DS was "fine" without it) and I don't know if I am messing with my son's mind. Plus, I know that on some level I am soothing myself by nursing him-- because I really wanted a baby and this is a 'babyish' thing to do.

I think one reason I am okay with nursing him again is because he went for that 5 weeks without nursing so I know that it isn't like he'll never ever stop.

What is the longest your child has gone without nursing? does anyone else have similar experiences?

Thank you for letting me share- I don't know anyone IRL who would be able to relate to this.
post #2 of 4

your family had been thru a difficult time with the loss of Eikenott. You are a wonderful mommy and i don't think you are messing with your sons mind. follow your heart.
post #3 of 4
I don't think you're messing with his mind. You have sent him a really clear message that you are there and available to him. Weaning is not a straight line - its two steps forward, one step back.
post #4 of 4
Thread Starter 

thanks for the reassurance

DS has an ear infection and has nursed at bedtime the past few nights. He isn't getting much milk-wise but I can tell it helps him relax.

Still curious to know if anyone out there has toddlers who skip for days and weeks at a time. When it was like that I was afraid I would never know if I was nursing my son for the last time or not. It's something I'd like to remember.

I appreciate your kindness here.
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