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Don't get pregnant - Page 3

post #41 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by foreverinbluejeans
Some people think that it is important for siblings to be close in age to have things in common and good relationships. That is a myth.
I don't think it's a myth - I think it's a personal preference and choice. Surely siblings can still have good relationships when they're spaced further apart, but if you find it important for them to be close in age, that's valid too.
post #42 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifetapestry
I totally agree. I believe this begins early in life, too. I could never stand any twiddling or any other touching of my other nipple while nursing. I would simply redirect his hands away from my nipple when he was younger. When he was 5 or 6 months and went through a brief biting stage, I simply set him down on the floor and walked away if he bit while reminding him that there is no biting. Now, at 3 1/2, he sometimes attempts to mess with my other nipple, but I remind him that that's not OK.

Usually he prefers to drive his matchbox car "on the mama highway" -- I don't have any problem allowing certain kinds of touching during nursing, but I refuse to allow touching that I find objectionable.

I think that CLW is often a great parenting context to teach boundaries, limits, and other relationship skills.

Karla
Karla,

Funny that you replied to something I said, cause I meant to come back... not that I would ever wean because of this... but ds' new thing is putting his hand in my pants. Umm, no I don't think so! I'm just not comfortable with his hands in my pants (not to mention they're low rise). I've been doing a lot of re-directing. I'm trying to find a nice nursing necklace that appeals to me. The last one I had was shaped beads in the shapes of animals and it hurt my neck!

post #43 of 85

High Need Child- Weaning??

Does anyone have a high need child that self weaned before 3? I am curious to hear other people's experiences.
Thanks!
post #44 of 85
You said you were looking for a nursing necklace. Did you ever look at littlegemsonline.com? I just got one there and am looking forward to getting it in the mail. My friend's son likes to have his hand on her other nipple, while he nurses. It drives her crazy, especially when she is trying to sleep and she has these little fingers feeling her up. HAHA
Best of luck!
post #45 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Moonmomma07
You said you were looking for a nursing necklace. Did you ever look at littlegemsonline.com? I just got one there and am looking forward to getting it in the mail. My friend's son likes to have his hand on her other nipple, while he nurses. It drives her crazy, especially when she is trying to sleep and she has these little fingers feeling her up. HAHA
Best of luck!
Thanks for the heads up Wendy. I think I'll start a thread on BF asking for all the brands moms here have used so I can make sure I get just the right one! LOL

It might help if I knew what I wanted! :LOL
post #46 of 85
Pi Nursing Necklace

I bought this necklace, and it works beautifully-- the hole is just the right size for little kid fingers-- perfect for "twiddling", if you know what I mean!!
post #47 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ubertulip
Pi Nursing Necklace

I bought this necklace, and it works beautifully-- the hole is just the right size for little kid fingers-- perfect for "twiddling", if you know what I mean!!
Melissa- that's perfect! More what I had in mind, very simple so I wouldn't mind wearing it. Thanks SO much for posting that!
post #48 of 85
dd went through a twiddling thing like that too for a while. It drives me nuts and so it doesn't happen anymore.
She does rub my arm sometimes, and that is really sweet.
post #49 of 85
One of the reasons I wanted my children closer together was because my closest (in age) sister and I are 5 years apart and quite frankly it sucked growing up. We were at totally different stages in our lives and for that reason didn't become friends until we became adults. Now we are best friends and our DCs are within months of each other (she is due tomorrow with her #2 and our first children were 5 months apart).

I wanted my children less than 3 years apart so that they could play together both as children and be friends as adults. Honestly I think there are pros and cons no matter how you space your children and I don't think there is any spacing that is "ideal"...so you just do the best you can to pick a spacing that you think will work for your family.

Steph
post #50 of 85
I don't undertstand the 2.5 years part? That is very arbitrary. Someone else could write the same post, only with one year or foiur years or 5 months.
post #51 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa
I don't undertstand the 2.5 years part? That is very arbitrary. Someone else could write the same post, only with one year or foiur years or 5 months.
I was wondering the same thing, is that a magic age? If you believe that getting pregnant eliminates CLW than you shouldn't get pregnant at any age.

My period returned when each of my girls were 6 months... but even without BC I wasn't pregnant until they were 12-15. I have two little girls who are amazing friends and have an amazing bond- I don't regret it at all and they are both happily leading the way with weaning.

My oldest decided to wean when she learned her two closest friends were weaned... next thing you know there will be advice not to make any friends if you want to CLW
post #52 of 85
i agree with tuffykenwell. we're planning to start ttc after ds turns 1 (if he's eating enough solids by then). my brother and i are 6 years apart and we're not that close. he was 12 when I left home and we didn't share a lot of the things closer siblings share. dh and his brother are 2.5 years apart and are very close. their younger sister (13) feels very lonely without her brothers around.
post #53 of 85
Sorry, I should have clarified and explained that my ds is currently weaning himself. I expect from the way he is going that by the time he is 3 he will have weaned himself (but who knows). That's why I put the 'personally' because in my personal situation that age is the age that ds will most likely be CLW. I was trying to say with my post that I *prefer* not to nurse while PG (meaning if ds wants to, of course, he can) but have friends who have done it & I applaud them. Their reasons for wanting children closer together are valid for them, just as my reasons for a larger spacing are valid for me.

I am totally a live and let live person. Really just chatting about what we are doing. Not saying everybody should do the same. Hope that's clearer now.

About age gaps & being friends, to exemplify why I think it is a myth that only close ages lead to good friendships amongst siblings.

I have a brother who is 5 years younger and we have ALWAYS been best friends and still talk almost daily, although we live in different countries. in my experience, personality has much more to do with it than age gap. (I also have 2 other siblings closer in age, and we are not *as* close)
post #54 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by eternal_grace

About age gaps & being friends, to exemplify why I think it is a myth that only close ages lead to good friendships amongst siblings.

I have a brother who is 5 years younger and we have ALWAYS been best friends and still talk almost daily, although we live in different countries. in my experience, personality has much more to do with it than age gap. (I also have 2 other siblings closer in age, and we are not *as* close)
I agree with this. Spacing does not guarantee a good relationship. I was originally planning five years between children, so I talked to everyone i Know who had siblings that far apart, and the majority of them were close. I changed my mind and want my children closer together, and have talked to people with close siblings. Some were/are close. Some not so much. There are way more variables than that. Everyone just has to decide what is best for them.
post #55 of 85
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa
I agree with this. Spacing does not guarantee a good relationship. I was originally planning five years between children, so I talked to everyone i Know who had siblings that far apart, and the majority of them were close. I changed my mind and want my children closer together, and have talked to people with close siblings. Some were/are close. Some not so much. There are way more variables than that. Everyone just has to decide what is best for them.
I think the age thing matters more when you are children than when everyone is an adult. I am the "baby" of my family and my siblings are 10,9,7 and 5 years older than I am. The older siblings were always sort of a pack and I felt more alone as a result of it when I was a child. When I was 12 my closest in age sister was 17 and had already moved out of the house.

That being said, my siblings and I are very close and I consider my sisters and brother my best friends so in the long run it really didn't make a difference. However I wanted my children to have someone to hang with while they were growing up because I really felt very lonely much of the time as I grew up.

Steph
post #56 of 85
Same here Steph. My brothers were 6.5 and almost 8 years younger than I. My youngest brother died at 14mo and that leaves me and my almost 18 year old brother. We were close in a cats and dogs kinda way... and possibly closer than we would have been if we hadn't lost our only other sibling. A combination of our age difference and being opposite gender always made things interesting. LOL

I personally want my kids 2-3 years apart... if I could stay sane and it wouldn't compromise my milk supply I'd have them even closer. I have a friend who would prefer to wait until the youngest is in preschool or kindergarten to have another- and I understand that.

It really is such an individual decision!
post #57 of 85

oops

posted in wrong place; ignore please!
post #58 of 85

Right On!

Quote:
Originally Posted by eternal_grace

I am totally a live and let live person. Really just chatting about what we are doing. Not saying everybody should do the same.


glad to see a potentially devisive post going so well here.
post #59 of 85
I chose to wait to conceive my third pregnancy until my twins weaned (ages 4.5 and 5.) I just personally didn't want to nurse through pregnancy and I definitely didn't want to nurse the twins and an infant. But I don't know what I'd have done had I only had one child. I was committed to child-led weaning and didn't want to nurse during pregnancy. I think it's fine to nurse in pregnancy, don't get me wrong, I just knew that I'd hate it.

However, I did tandem nurse the twins for 4.5 years.
post #60 of 85
Thread Starter 
Research has shown that human babies are biologically designed to breastfeed between 2.5 - 7 years (Dettwyler). For all of the facial and oral advantages of breastfeeding you need to breastfeed until around the time all of a child's baby teeth are in. If you were wanting most of the advantages of breastfeeding for your child (evidence based) then you would want your child to breastfeed for at least 2.5 to 3 years. Breastfeeding continues to offer advantages to the child as long as they breastfeed.

www.kathydettwyler.org/detwean.html
www.lalecheleague.org/ba/Aug94.html

Few babies in our society get the chance to experience CLW. Mothering Magazine is an advocate for the child and has long supported CLW. This is a new forum and many may not understand what CLW is and isn't.

I think most of us would agree that if we want the best for our baby, we breastfeed. There is evidence that if we want the best for our child, we breastfeed at least 2.5 - 3 years. That is why 2.5 years is the magic age to wait to TTC. Some women can nurse a baby or toddler through pregnancy with no problems, most can't.

You don't have to nurse 2.5 years or CLW to be a good mother or to have a healthy child. Perhaps there needs to be a forum for mother-led weaning. I am surprised by how upset and defensive some people have responded.
What's that about?
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