Thank you all. The initial autopsy the week after her death showed her tobe a "perfectly healthy 20-year-old" with no signs of a cause. We had to wait almost 3 months for the toxicology results, etc. I think the fact that her birthday is tomorrow makes it even harder. Before we found out I was pg we had planned to have my mom watch the boys overnight so we could go down to Hayward & go dancing with her for her 21st~ how could any of us have known it would never happen? I am thankful that we were able to see her in July & get our boys together & get a picture of us all together. . . . but my new bean will never have a picture with her aunt.

I have 2 brothers & 3 sisters (with the same bio-father as me) and she was the only one I was really close to~ we just had a special connection. . . I have a brother & sister with my same mom & my dad (who adopted me when I was 4) that I am very close to, though. But Lisa was my closest sibling in age & she was the one who searched me out (we met when I was 15 & she was 12)~ we grew close so quickly. Every time we visited her last year we would both cry when we said goodbye~ god works in mysterious ways b/c if Colby had never gotten sick we wouldn't have gone to Stanford & we probably wouldn't have been able to spend so much time together this last year. I keep picking up the phone to call her & thewn remembering. . .last week we had to go to SF for a dr appt for Colby & I called her fiance to see if he & my nephew were home so we could go by & see them. He didn't answer & when the voicemail picked up it was Lisa's voice!

It so shocked me to hear my sweet sister's voice again. . .I would have loved hearing it had I been expecting it. . . I miss her so much. Sorry if this is rambly, thanks for reading.
AmiBeth
Follow Mothering