Welcome to our newest forum! - Page 4

[mother_sunshine]

I just wanted to point out that there are plenty of other mamas here in the CLW forum who did not CLW one or more of their children but are now focusing on CLW for their other children. None of us has ever felt that they don't belong. They belong here every bit as much as anyone else who is CLWing. We cherish every one of them. This is such an important support system because it is the only one of its kind. We all need to know that we are not alone, and we are not crazy for trusting our children.

Everyone who is considering CLW is welcome here. I am sure there will be mothers who change their mind, but hopefully their time here will be invaluable and helpful. We are not going to boo them for it. What I am trying to say is that you don't have to sign a contract to enter. But please remain respectful. I didn't start out breastfeeding with the intention of letting my dd self-wean, I didn't even know what that meant. And I didn't even understand truly what it meant to CLW until dd was well past 4 or 5 (because I hadn't even heard the term). I just went with what felt right by my daughter, one step at a time. It is something I felt in my heart and I trusted it. I think it cheapens the term to put a clinical and strict definition on it. We all bring our diverse experiences to this forum. But we all have one thing in common, we all have a strong desire to let our children decide when it is time for themselves to wean.

We all do the best we can. And we all love our children, regardless of CLW PLW etc. This forum is not to one-up anyone or make anyone feel inferior. It is a much-needed support system. That is why I am still here, to offer support.

[merpk]

Ecstatically happy to see this forum.













Having had a hand in the weaning of my two older children (weaned at 3 & 3.5 respectively), wanted to let the rest of them lead the way. And any discussion of this in the EBF forum and anywhere else really included all sorts of weaning/limiting suggestions.

Am anticipating that this specific forum will be where I can come for specific support on this specific issue. AND where those nursing past the comfort zone for some folks here (amazing that the comfort zone exists at MDC but true ... as evidenced by past threads) can find safe/nonjudgmental space.





Am anticipating that the lack of judgmentalism will go both ways ... that no one will be calling folks who've weaned their children "child abusers" or any such thing. : Yes, that's a joke. See the smilie? Here's another. :

[merpk]

Reading this thread more thoroughly ...

... knowing that we're not supposed to reference other threads, but one was instructive to me recently ... a mama having difficulty with nighttime nursing pain, and there were several responses; mine was to think about the cause of the pain, perhaps a chewing situation, and the others were to discuss nightweaning. Am thinking that this forum would be a place where the weaning suggestions just won't happen.

Am also thinking that this forum could be a place where someone whose 7yo weaned or was weaning could feel comfortable. After all, with a 7yo you can discuss the whole process (semi)rationally. Or hopefully, anyway (DS#1 is weeks from 7 and so am aware that rational discussion with 7yos is not necessarily realistic at all times :LOL). So to me there's a child-led with adult-input situation ... still appropriate.

Did that make sense?

Then again, if every single scenario has to be moderated, then that gets a little crazy, doesn't it.

Another reason to be glad that someone else does the moderating 'round here ...

[darlindeliasmom]

Hey Amy, I think I actually used that "child abuse" line, quoting dd, one time... At any rate she did say it...another example of the illogic logic of that 7-y-old you're trying to reason with, I guess...

disclaimer: I at no time have thought that any mom weaning her child was guilty of child abuse...just quoted my very intense dd. IRL, I help moms to do so gently and respectfully all the time!!

[sadie_sabot]

I think it's great that this forum is here. I'd like it better if we had a different place for "getting started." tho this isn't how I feel personally, it makessense to me that some folks may feel like it's either quit while they're little (ie, before 1 year) or do clw andpotentialy nurse to 7years or whatever.

Me, I dunno, I guess right now I'm doing CLW b/c I am in no way pushing to wean, or planning to, tho I have some limits and do say no sometimes (not often tho). So I feel like I belong here. I could also see myself deciding to stop in a couple of years, and wanting a place to talk about weaning with other moms who've weaned older toddlers. Does that make sense? I think 3 forums would make sense- a getting started, a general nursding, and a clw.

anyhoo, tho, less defensiveness and less purism and we'll be fine.

[slightly crunchy]

never mind

[TigerTail]

wow, mamanatural, i can come?
it really wasn't personal, sunshiney, as you'll see in pm. i just did a 'search'.

i still think it would be nice to be able to discuss the gentle weaning concept, for older nurslings especially; when i think 'child led' weaning without the baggage of earlier definitions, it includes mama's input too- i guess my discomfort is from my understanding of clw, defined here (in my interpretation) as not including mama in the decision.

obviously, i would also be annoyed by pita suggestions to wean when looking for solutions, not an end (i am not sure nightweaning suggestions qualifies for me as one of those irritations tho'; my babies would still to this day, nurse all night long- literally- if i kept them in my bed. they nurse so efficiently by late toddlerhood that they certainly don't need to be awake to do it! some desperate ladies here have been in need of more sleep to survive, & i have heard some almost asking for permission, as if they'd stopped being officially ap & were on the road to total weaning just because they HAD TO GET SOME SLEEP. nightweaning- of course within reasonable bounds, not if baby is sick or sad or lonely; take that child to bed!- can occur with many wonderful years of nursing still down the road. and i feel verboten from saying that here, you know?

i think what makes me sadder, thinking about it, is not the loss of ebf, but 'getting started'. that was a special forum & for those mamas to have to wade thru it all to get help... sigh. the LLL is great, but for those of us not close to meetings that forum was a blessing. a pushy broad like me is going to find *somewhere* to yap my opinion, but i'd hate for a single newbie bfing mama to get scared off by volume or content (me & my 7 yr old!!!), or overlooked. that is probably a bigger issue in the long run than the loss of my beloved ebf.

ok, on the assumption (or wait; can i quote you mama natch? ) that i AM invited (if i don't interrupt threads with weaning advice- which has, uh, never happened yet since the year 2000 when i first joined... weaning advice, other than how to get some sleep for a few hours, is not my forte), let me say that i am happy you (we?) got our own forum, if saddened by the loss (amalgamation) of others. congrats, & happy nursing those children with full dentition in the new year!

suse

edit: omg, who did it?!
after all these years... ok, ok, truce! (yes, i am actually )

[merpk]

Just feeling compelled to point out that placing limits on nursing is not the same as weaning. As an example, my kids aren't allowed to pull my shirt up in public. If they do, no nursing, they have to wait till we're home. Just as an example. One of many.

After all, it's their drink/nutrition/comfort/etc., but it is my body. Just because they're still nursing doesn't mean that I've lost all control or right to control of my body, you know?

It is absolutely consistent with CLW to have certain limits.

IMO.

[sadie_sabot]

Originally Posted by merpk

After all, it's their drink/nutrition/comfort/etc., but it is my body. Just because they're still nursing doesn't mean that I've lost all control or right to control of my body, you know?

yeah. absolutely. although when I tell dd that (usually when I'm feeling kind of frustrated) she gets upset. :LOL

[Sustainer]

Sorry, I just found this thread! I don't know how I missed it before!

First of all, a big thank you to the powers that be for providing this forum!

Originally Posted by DaryLLL

I prefer the term "child respectful weaning" myself. Was this one of the titles we voted on? I thought most preferred "bfing beyond infancy?"

Will we be ostracizing moms who can not do child led weaning? I fear it is a title loaded with value judgements.

Child Led Weaning and Child Respectful Weaning are two different things.

"Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy" is the name we voted on to replace the name "Extended Breastfeeding."

There was a separate vote to create a "Child Led Weaning" forum.

Moms who do not do child led weaning still have the "breastfeeding" and "support and advocacy" forums. What's wrong with having a forum for child-led weaning? How is the name of the forum judgemental?

Originally Posted by WithHannahsHeart

I think it is horrendously ostracizing and belittling, and most certainly 'loaded with value judgements'. Also exclusionary, as if every mama on MDC has chosen this path.

How is the mere creation of a child led weaning forum ostracizing or belittling or judgemental? As others have asked, does the existance of the homeschooling forum mean that every single MDC mama is supposed to homeschool? It is no more "exclusionary" than any other forum: the toddler forum is for moms of toddlers, the diapering forum is for moms who cloth diaper, etc. How is this forum any different from any of the others?

Originally Posted by TiredX2

I think the majority of posters on the Extended Bfeeding forum do NOT practice CLW--- where are "they" supposed to go?

Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural

I realized that the EB forum has now been merged with getting started and overcoming difficulties. Hmmm, if I was doing mother led weaning, but extended bfing I think I wouldn't want to have the same forum where there are questions about newborns etc. I can understand being upset about the merging of those two forums.

I agree that there is still a need for a forum for people whose nurslings are older than 12 months but who are not necessarily clw. I think that that forum should have remained, but that the name of it should simply have been changed to the name that we voted on: "Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy." Mothers of nurslings who are no longer infants face unique challenges, whether they are clw or not.

Originally Posted by DaryLLL

Child-led weaners get their own sub-forum.

Did they want one?

Yes, we most definitely wanted one. We requested one most stenuously.

Originally Posted by stirringleaf

unless its OK to post weaning questions on the child lead weaning board? like i dont get where i post stuff like that for my almost 3 YO nursling....i want support for EB but i dont want to feel like i am offending CLW moms by asking for help with mother lead weaning.

I'd have to say that the child led weaning forum would not be the place to ask for help with mother led weaning. That would now have to be done in the breastfeeding forum. There is definitely still a need for a forum where people who are nursing children who are 2 or 3 years old or older can get support. Other than the clw forum.

Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural

Sustained bfing is sononymous with clw bfing. That's why Sustainer is sustainer, because she believes strongly in sustained (clw) bfing. (Hope that's ok to speak for you Alice )

For probably the first time at MDC, I actually have to disagree with you. Sustained breastfeeding is the term I prefer to replace the term Extended Breastfeeding. It simply means that you are continuing to breastfeed, and it implies that you are continuing to breastfeed past the culturally established limit, which in this country is 12 months. So I actually agree with Nate. I've always thought that the extended breastfeeding forum should be renamed sustained breastfeeding, but I was outvoted in favor of breastfeeding beyond infancy, so I supported the consensus. I also strongly believe in child led weaning, of course. CLW and Sustained Breastfeeding are two different things, but they do, of course, overlap.

Originally Posted by suseyblue

there was not a pro-clw'r in the joint that advocated *killing* ebf. they just wanted their own forum

That's right - we didn't want the extended breastfeeding forum removed, just renamed. And then we wanted to have a clw forum in addition to a (renamed) ebf/sbf forum (the preferred name for which was "breastfeeding beyond infancy.")

Originally Posted by MamaAllNatural

I'm thinking the only way it will really work is to put a lot of posts that would've been in the EB forum into the S & A forum. I can see how a lot of them would fit in there. I've had a hard time finding the difference between the S & A and the EB forum anyway.

Once again, I find myself in disagreement with you. I think the "breastfeeding" forum would be more appropriate. I have always seen a definite difference between the eb and s&a forums, and I think they should each continue to have their own separate place. I'm more and more convinced of the need to bring the ebf/sbf/bbi forum back, but in the mean time I'd rather see the threads in bf than in s&a.

[DaryLLL]

Sustainer, there was no need to quote me. I posted that several days ago, when I thought CLW had replaced EBF. Now I see Breastfeeding has replaced GS and EBF. Yet CLWs get their own forum. The powers that be have spoken.

[Sustainer]

Sorry, I didn't realize your comments were no longer relevent.

[Embee]

Wow, what a wonderful surprise! Thank you so much! I logged in, went to go to EBF and at first I wondered where EBF had gone and then saw this. W'HOO! DS turned 4 on Tuesday... we're still at it and this forum is just what I need right now. A welcome site in deed!

[simonee]

I feel sad that now, at mothering no less, a bf forum is titled "weaning". Child-led, whatever, it's still about the weaning not the bf-ing.

If clw-ers want their own forum bc they want a place to talk about older nurslings, then what does clw-ing have to do with 7-yo mother-led weaners or 3-yo self-weaners? Childled weaning can happen at 2yo, too. What's the big deal about clw?
(and yes, I understand the issues. I have a 5.5 yo nursling who is nowhere near weaning and will self-wean when her time comes)


ETA after looking around a bit in the forum, I see the point even less. They are pretty much all ebf threads. :

[charmarty]

I am In LOVE with breastfeeding beyond infancy!!!!!!!!

And simonee

[Sustainer]

It's not a forum about weaning. It's a forum for nursing mamas who plan to let their child lead the weaning process to talk about breastfeeding.

[mother_sunshine]

Originally Posted by simonee

I feel sad that now, at mothering no less, a bf forum is titled "weaning". Child-led, whatever, it's still about the weaning not the bf-ing.

I think it's safe to say that, to mothers who clw at least, the word 'wean' in the context of CLW is actually a healthy word to be celebrated, not one full of anxiety, negativity and stress on either part of mother and/or child. I believe this forum was put here to encourage mothers to consider it. It is an invaluable breastfeeding journey. Everyone's journey is different but they all end in the same place, with the child's decision to wean. It's not all about "weaning", it's a celebration of the journey, IMHO.

[DaryLLL]

Originally Posted by charmarty

I am In LOVE with breastfeeding beyond infancy!!!!!!!!

I wish we had a forum named that.

[mother_sunshine]

No offense guys, but requests for other forums should be placed in the requests forum. Child-Led Weaning has already been determined to be a new forum. It did not take the place of EB nor does it have anything to do with the EB poll/vote on a name change. It is a separate issue. Please be respectful.

if you want to join us, join us.

[Mom4tot]

Originally Posted by mother_sunshine

It is an invaluable breastfeeding journey. Everyone's journey is different but they all end in the same place, with the child's decision to wean. It's not all about "weaning", it's a celebration of the journey, IMHO.

Nicely said, Michelle