How am i going to handle two?

[canadiangranola]

Wow! This morning, as I was nursing for hour 4 ina row and then getting up at 7 because ds couldn't sleep because I cut off the "nana's" due to sore boobs, and as I'm bawling in the kitchen because I am so tired I can barely walk around all day, and laughing as DS tries to get DH's raw eggs off the counter, all the while, I'm feeling like throwing DS in the snow so I can have five minutes of uninterrupted sleep where i'm not responsible for anything/one but my own rest and sanity....I think to myself....One kid combined with pregnancy is throwing me over the edge, how in the world will I deal when there are two babies on the outside.

Dear God, please let DS learn to sleep through the night (just even once) before dc2 comes to us. I know it's only been 19 months since I've slept for more than 4 hours in a row uninterupted, and that once, I even got to sleep for 5 hours...(only 19 months if you don't count late pregnancy, when you're up every hour to pee)...but please, just let me sleep.

[melissel]

I hear you. I'm pretty terrified about this myself; I kind of had to consciously enter into a state of denial in order to TTC because I really wanted another one, but I know how hard it's going to be.

In my case, my DH works a 70-80 hour workweek doing sales, so I'm pretty much on my own. However, I still work full-time too, and from home. So on Mondays my mom is here, and fights an all-day battle with Bella, who just wants to come down and see me and nurse all day. Tuesdays and Wednesdays it's just me and Bella, doing our thing. Thursdays all day and Friday morning she's at daycare (which she totally loves, so I feel OK about that). So I'm doing all the childcare and housework, and trying to fit a 40 hour workweek into 2 1/2 days, plus nights/weekends. Add in nursing at night (Bella's loosely nightweaned, so if she needs me and really needs to nurse, I do, but I try to convince her not to) and falling asleep while putting her to bed, thereby eliminating my evening work time...well, where exactly will a baby fit into all that???

So you're not alone. I think no matter what our situation is, we'll feel overwhelmed. My plan is to have a sling permanently attached across my body and just carry the new baby around all the time. Plus, I think it will be hard, but your first babe will adjust to having to occupy themselves for a little while, etc. We're working hard toward reinforcing the nightweaning, which at this point is actually just a matter of discussing a LOT during the day what will happen at night. We make a huge deal out of Bella sleeping the whole night, and she's immensely proud of herself when she wakes up in the morning if she's slept the whole night.

I think the thing to remember is that most moms have more than one kid, and they've all survived, and we will too. It will be hard, but it won't be forever. At least, that's what I keep telling myself!!!

Good luck to us all!

[matts_mamamama]

I'm with you guys, and I'm not even nursing anymore! I'm not going to waste good wishes on my son sleeping through the night - it'll happen when it happens and I've finally, at almost 17 mos, resolved myself to that! LOL. I, too, intend to sling the new one and hope that will help most of the everyday stuff that we'll have to deal with.

Mamas do it all the time, so I guess we can too! Besides, there's no turning back now! LOL

[redsonya]

LOL I'm waiting on number 5! The advice I can give is to learn to slow down, to take your physical/ psychological needs VERY seriously (don't throw DS in the snow, but find a way through thick or thin to get rest!), eliminate every non-necessary activity, cut down your social life to the few friends who truly truly count, and lower your housekeeping standards a bit.

[mom2threenurslings]

Oh, how I remember those days! We're waiting for #4 now ... here's a few things I've learned on my mothering journey...

- Remember that your child is going to be 8 months older when dc is born....he'll most likely be sleeping longer, entertaining himself better, and be able to communicate better with you and understand more, all of which will make life a lot easier

- It usually isn't as bad as you think it will be! (When pg with #3, and dh was working nights, I was scared to death about how I was supposed to nurse THREE children to sleep and get them all to bed by myself. It turned out that bedtime was one of my favorite times of day!!!)

- Take care of yourself so that you can take good care of your kids. Even if it's just locking yourself in the batroom for 5 minutes of peace and quiet!

- Take naps. If your older child doesn't nap, let him play in a child-safe room, and you make yourself a nest on the floor in front of the door and rest/sleep as he plays. I did this when pg with #2 and #3 ...I let my ds(s) play in the playroom and I shut the door and laid down inside the room on a comforter on the floor and napped. In order to get out, they had to climb over me and then move me to get the door open....and if something happened I was right there and would wake up.

- Get outside. Fresh air can do wonders for your emotional state and give you a little boost of energy (although I doubt I'll be going out much this week, as the wind chill is supposed to put us at 20 -30 below zero!).

[cj'smommy]

I was wondering the same thing the other day. Connor has been getting up at night lately, which he usually doesn't do, and DH is the one who has been getting up with him - but I'm still tired. Tired enough that I'm crabby and irritable during the day, then I get mad at myself for being that way and then I get emotional. It's a vicious circle. sigh.

What the heck am I going to do when I have a NB?

[musicmaj]

My first two are only 16 months apart. I found out I was pregnant on the day my dd turned 8 months old. I was VERY nervous. Especially since she was a high needs baby and was still waking about 5 times a night. I was already sleep deprived. In retrospect, the first part of the pregnancy, with tiredness and nausea, was harder to deal with than a 16 month old and a newborn baby. As it turned out, dd still does not sleep through the night most nights (she is 4 now) and ds was sleeping 6 hour stretches at night by the time he was 3.5 months old. The 2 things that helped us the most during that newborn time was my sling and cosleeping. It allowed us to get as much sleep as possible and allowed a lot of bonding with both children.

If you don't alreadyn have a good sling, invest in one. I personally suggest an adjustable fleece pouch, the babyspace adjustable hybrid sling (I made my own following instructions on her website), or an asian baby carrier. I am going to be using the bybrid sling for nursing and such, and the asian baby carrier for longer carries.

I want to second all of mom2threenurslings advice. It is very good advice. I also do the same thing with taking naps. Neither of my kids nap now and I have needed a short one a couple of times this week already. I give my kids a bunch of toys (Little people are great) and lay in front of the door. I can snooze, but wake up if anyone needs me or tries to get out. Sometimes a short 20 minute nap does wonders.

[marieangela]

I've been wondering about this, too. I keep reminding myself that many women have had two children and survived. My grandmother had eight children in ten years and somehow she did it. I've worried about the being outnumbered part of it. My dh is a chef and works A LOT. I am basically on my own. I work part time now, but I don't know if or when I'll come back to work after the baby is born. With ds at least it's one on one, throw in a baby and I'm outnumbered. Ds was actually getting pretty good with sleep, but he's been going downhill a bit lately. We had an awful night of sleep last night and I'm barely thinking straight today. Here I am at work and no one else is here because it's a paid holiday for full-time people! Duh. Pregnancy brain strikes. But, I'm here and I paid for parking, so I'm staying and trying to stay awake...Anyway, yeah, I do worry about how ds will react to a new baby taking mama's attention away from him and such, but I guess I have to wait and see how he reacts and then deal with it. Okay, maybe I'm not thinking straight or making sense. I'm going to stop typing now.