How do you handle allowances?

[MonkeyPrincess]

I don't know how to deal with the issue of allowance. My kids are 7yo and 5 1/2yo. They have personal responsibilities (clearing their spot at the table, dirty clothes in laundry, getting things ready for the next day, taking care of backpacks and jackets, etc.) which they do consistently. And chores (collect trash, laundry, dishwasher), which they do irregularly. I read a bunch of conflicting ways to handle allowances/chores. But haven't found a system that works for us. No allowance if the chores aren't done? Allowance not tied to chores at all? How do you figure out how much is reasonable for their needs? Which "extras" do you expect them to pay for (school store, roller skating, etc.) Do you limit what they spend their money on? Just wanted to hear how other families do it...

[Lila Sue]

Our 5.5yo dd gets $2/wk. We don't tie it to chores or anything. I might consider garnering her allowance if she willfully broke something that needed to be replaced...but I can't see dd ever doing that. Otherwise, I wouldn't withold her allowance as punishment.

I do limit what she can do with it. I let her buy some candy, but not as much as she'd like. I encourage saving. She recently saved for a Brother Bear dvd. At $2/wk, that's a big purchase! So when she announced what she was saving for, I offered to match her if she could save half.

I did not, however, match her on the purple sparkle lipgloss set

I'll match her on the Chinaberry toothbrush holder, too. It comes with a sand timer. She's really excited about timing her toothbrushing & brushing for two whole minutes!

[Linda KS]

We recently changed our system. Our old system was a dollar a week with no strings attached and no input from us about how to spend it. Our new system is $10 a month with encouragement from us to save it up for something nice. The problem with $1 a week is that I would forget about it, and then make it up later, and we were never really sure how many weeks had been forgotten, etc. We are all hoping with once a month I will be able to be more consistent. Also, with so little money coming in dribbles, buying anything but junk was difficult. My DDs are really into American Girl dolls and each have a doll. Now they can save up for outfits or accessories. They will have to plan and wait, but I think that will be good for them.

Anway, it isn't tied to chores at our house. You have to do your chores; you can't choose not to do chores and then not get allowance.

Sometimes my DH pays them to help with extra jobs, like picking up branches in the yard. I don't do that because I think they should just help, but I let my DH parent the way he wants to.

My kids don't have to pay for things like skating, because it would just be more complex for me if they had to! When we go skating, we are going together. When they are older and can better handle having their own money with them and do things with their friends rather than with me, they will most likely get more allowance and be responsible for budgeting their own entertainment. We just aren't there yet. I think it makes sense to base the amount of money on what you expect the child to with it.

[SagMom]

My my youngest is the only one who still gets an allowance, as the other two have paying jobs now. But allowances were for them to spend as they pleased--we didn't restrict their choices. It wasn't tied to chores or anything, we just saw it as an opportunity for them to handle money, spend it, save it, make choices, etc.

I know there are some negative opinions about handing out money with no strings attached, but it worked out fine for us. As soon as ds was old enough for a paper route, he got one and then came to us and announced that we needn't give him an allowance any more as he was earning his own money. He also earns money babysitting. Dd actually isn't old enough for a route yet, but works under her brother's name.

Sometimes they bought what I thought was junk, but my feeling was that it was their choice to make. Sometimes they saved for long periods of time for some treasure. They sometimes bought gifts for each other or us. Dd regularly bought cat food for the local animal shelter and treats for the children at a family shelter.

We paid for museums, trips, scheduled activities, classes etc. Sometimes they'd want something and we'd chip in some $$ to make it possible. We just took those things one at a time. It was interesting how, while on a trip, before they had allowances, they always wanted to purchase something at the souvenier shop. Yet, once they had their own money, they'd often elect to skip the gift shop entirely because they had other plans for their money.

[Linda KS]

The best thing about my kids having some money that they have totally control over is that when we are out and the ask me to buy something for them (usually a small junky toy) I remind them that they can use their money to buy it if they really want to. They made really poor choices (IMHO) when they first started getting allowance but gradually become more sensible, which is part of the reason we feel that can handle having a little more money to control.

[UnschoolnMa]

We don't do assigned chores or allowances really. The kids are part of our family, and as such they have access to money the family has. They know what our budget is at any given time (which isn't alot lol) and they only occasionally ask for money or something. They also get money from grandparents, etc.

[TiredX2]

Both kids (3 & 6) get $2 weekly. It is not tied to chores, but if we are going on a family vacation they don't get it that week (since we buy snack foods while on vacation and also souvenirs). Each week they save $1 (short term savings--- toys, books, stickers, flat pennies) etc... and each week they can spend up to $1 on popscicles/chips/candy/bouncy balls, junk like that. Left overs go into their short term savings.

We are hoping to gradually increase the amt of money they get til they are responsible for purchasing the vast majority of their stuff (in the teen years). According to the books I have read, it is much better to get the impulse buys and bad money decisions out of the way when it is not the rent or food money they loose, kwim?

Kay

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

My 5 YO gets $3 a week, no strings attached. While we don't restrict what he buys with it, we do offer guidance and help him understand spending it now for something little or saving for something bigger. We encourage a contribution to church each week or when there are special collections for things (like tsunami victims), but don't insist on it (especially since we pay our pledge in big lump sums at bonus time). If he wants a special toy, then he is expected to pay for it. Generally he is pretty good about saving for the stuff he wants. He doesn't pay for any part of family outings. Oddly, he's never asked to use it for candy, but then he doesn't generally carry it unless he knows we are headed to the toy store for some reason. Special outing treats and such are covered by me for everyone. As he gets older, and as his sister is old enough to have money of her own as well, I expect it to pay for more stuff, like outings with friends, but then we'll increase the dollars as well. Right now I view it as a way to help him learn to count out money, realize that stuff has a cost and that sometimes you have to wait for what you want. When I have enough extra to make the minimum deposit, I will help him set up a savings account at the bank for really big stuff.

[UnschoolnMa]

Oh and I forgot in my post that we don't control their spending at all. We give advice, or a warning about how good a deal it might be, but ultimately what they spend their money on is their choice. My son likes to buy candy, video games, anime stuff, donating to his fave forum, and for library fees. My daughter buys stamps to mail people, candy occasionally, art or craft stuff, and library fees. We sometimes borrow money from them lol.

[peacenlove]

We give our ds $6 per week, he is six so $1/year (canadaian) he spends it as he pleases. He does do chores but not for money. it is amazing how he wont ask for junk now because I say "if you want to spend your money on it okay" then he will quickly change his mind.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa

The kids are part of our family, and as such they have access to money the family has.

We take this stance, too, but still give an allowance. We found that, while it works fine for us to discuss purchases we all make from the family funds, the kids wanted some $$ that they could spend without having to ask or talk it over with anyone. It's sort of like dh and I--we both have access to the family's money, but we also each have "pocket money" that we can blow as we please.

[Sofiamomma]

My 8 y/o dd has a checking account at the "Bank of Mom" and has her allowance "directly deposited" every payday, which, coincidentally enough are the same as mine! :LOL I, too, had trouble remembering to give it to her on a weekly basis and then to play catch up. I took an extra check register and started writing in her deposits (she gets $8 a pay period or $4 a week)each payday (it is easy to catch up this way, cuz I *know* when my paydays are!) and then withdrawals as well. I've shown her how to keep a running tally. When she wants to buy something, usually a gift for someone, we subtract it from her total and then I buy it. I've explained to her that that is how real banks work. They don't necessarily have actual paper money on hand in the amounts totalling their customers' accounts, but it is often electronic agreements, transfers, etc.

She has chores to do simply because she is a member of the family. They are not tied to her allowance, but if she does something extra she can earn money that way. I wanted to give her a way to earn more if she wanted to. Sometimes the extra chores are done in payment of an energy debt, though! In other words, if her behavior drains my energy I don't have any left for doing my chores, so she must do some. I have also withdrawn "taxi fare" if I have to drive her to school, because she was not ready in time to catch the bus. Conversely I pay her if I make her late!

Right now her chores include feeding and watering the animals, we take turns cleaning the guinea pig cage, she scoops the cat box daily, and I change it every few weeks. She also changes the trash bags and takes the trash out to the curb, washes her lunch dishes if she took a bag lunch to school, sorts and takes her dirty laundry downstairs, I wash and fold it and she puts it away. She is expected to tidy her room daily and put away the clean dishes. She has just started to help with the cooking and dishes so we have yet to really work that out. Sweeping and mopping the kitchen floor, and vacuuming are my jobs, but she does those every once in awhile to earn extra ($2 for the kitchen, $1 for vacuuming the living room). She'd like to clean the bathroom, but I'm not ready to give that up yet! :LOL If I ever have to do her chores for her, then she has to do some of mine in exchange. Every once in awhile she likes to rotate things if she gets bored, but mostly she does the things she likes better.

Little dd puts her dirty laundry in the hamper and "helps" with some of the other chores. She particularly enjoys helping to feed the pets. She also helps pick up and put away her toys. I just bought her an 8 cube shelf from Target and put the baskets from her changing table in it. It has been a huge hit and encourages both playing with (she can see them all!) and putting them away. She doesn't get an allowance yet, but probably will soon since she is starting to show an interest in "peenies"!