Is everybody waiting?

[matts_mamamama]

Until the 1st trimester is over to tell people that is? Last time, I waited until past 12 weeks to tell everyone that we were pregnant, but for whatever reason, this time I just want to scream it from the rooftops! Of course, I carry the usual paranoias that come with the first trimester of pregnancy, but this time they don't seem as pronounced as with my first baby. I don't want to be cocky or anything, and I certainly don't want to jinx anything, but I wanna tell!

A friend of mine always said that even if something happened, the people that I would tell would be the people who would be there for me anyway.

What's everyone else think?

[canadiangranola]

We told everyone right away last time, and did the same this time. My philosophy is the same as your friend's, that if something were to happen, we would want to be surrounded by supportive, understanding people, not by people with no idea why we were mourning.

[doxiemomma]

...

[NatureMama3]

we're thinking of holding off, but not because of loss issues. More just because we like having this "secret" to ourselves. We've always told early on otherwise.

[hollyhobbie]

i am holding off this time. for me it is b/c i have had two losses. i cant bear telling people about another loss if it happens. i mean i have told a few people close to me but not everyone around me. i did that last time even though i had had a m/c b/c i honestly believed it could not happen again!! well then i went around feeling like a walking tragedy. now i feel more normal about it realising lots of women do have miscarriages and often more than one. i am feeling that i may have to tell people though b/c my belly is going to announce it otherwise. my pants are all too tight already and i am tempted to dig out the maternity stuff. the stuff without panels anyways!

so, i would tell people if you want to!! it is nice to have the support either way. i worked with someone who waited 12 weeks to tell anyone then she miscarried at 13 weeks so i think you have to make the decision based on something else other than just numbers!!

[Mommiska]

Well - we are telling a few close friends/ family (people we would tell anyway if we had a loss).

Otherwise, we are waiting until the 1st trimester is over before telling most people. I just wouldn't want to have to explain to people I didnt' know very well that I'd had a miscarriage, you know?

Not to mention the fact that this is #4 for us, so we are just plain not looking forward to telling most people at all!

[Galatea]

I keep wanting to tell my parents, but I wait it out and the urge passes and I am relieved that I didn't tell.

[Pippi]

I was the opposite. With our first we told everyone immediately. With this pregnancy we waited until almost the end of the first trimester to tell family, and after that to tell friends.

It was mainly because we just wanted it to be "ours" for a while. And also, telling everyone so soon last time made my pregnancy seem to last forever. This way I'm already several months into it and for some reason that makes it seem shorter to me. I know that makes no sense.

[phathui5]

We've told a few friends, the people that would know if I lost the baby. I haven't told any family yet. I know dh's mom is going to take it better than my mom will. My mom's thinking is that we already have two children, why would we need more? So I don't really want to tell her yet.

[Mommay]

We're waiting as well for the reasons already given. Plus, we have two other pregnancies in the works in the family - both my sisters-in-law are pregnant. One just announced that she is due like a week before me. So, I think she deserves to bask in the sun for a while. But we would have waited anyway.

[marieangela]

My first pregnancy ended in a late loss (19 1/2 weeks), so the whole end of the first trimester thing doesn't really end my worries. I did wait a while with ds for most people. So far with this pregnancy, we've told our parents and I've told two close friends. I'm very close to my parents and I couldn't hold off with them. The general public/people I wouldn't expect to know how to grieve with me aren't going to be told jsut yet.

[Music-mommy]

We are also waiting to tell the general public, because last pregnancy we told everyone at 6-7 weeks, and then I miscarried at 11 weeks. It was such a pain because I had forgotten who I'd told etc.. so then 5-6 weeks after the mc people would say "So how's the pregnancy going?" and I'd have to say I had miscarriage. Then they don't know what to say. It's really a drag. I even had a friend of my mom's who lives across the country, send me some newborn clothes right around the time I would have been due. Of course people like family and good friends I've told because like others have said you'd want them to know you had a mc anyway.

This time I am not nearly as cocky to think that I won't have a mc.

[mom2threenurslings]

I'm 5 weeks along and we've told my family and friends ... my in-laws will find out next week (they live out of state and we're sending them something in the mail to tell them!).

Before getting pg with our oldest I had a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage. We had told everyone and it was great to have the support of my entire family (and dh's!) when I was coping with our loss, so I personally don't see a need to wait.

[cj'smommy]

We're going to wait until after my first appt. when I'll be about 8 weeks, to tell. That's what we did with Connor. I did tell my best friend (and accidentally told my neighbor) but that's it for now.

It's hard though, I find myself almost about to slip sometimes and it makes it hard to have a conversation. Plus everyone knows we were trying for so long, so they're all waiting. I'm so excited that I want to tell everyone now, and that makes it hard too!