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unassisted stories????

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
I'd love to hear them.....
post #2 of 21
me too!
post #3 of 21
Check out the UC thread The first post has links to all the stories of the people on the thread. And Laura Shanley's site has pages and pages of stories as well.
post #4 of 21
Early Monday evening I began having contractions for the third night in a row. I was a little grumpy, but physically feeling good. We had dinner and watched some TV (I don't really remember that part, but know that was what happened) and then we set the kids up upstairs with some videos and I laid down in bed downstairs alone and tried to get some rest. My children joined me one by one as the night progressed and I tossed and turned. Finally, late evening, everyone was asleep and the contractions were so intense that I could no longer lie down through them, I had to get up. So I lit some candles and puttered around the house for a while. At some point my 3-yr-old daughter woke up and my husband came downstairs to lie down with her, then all was quiet again.

Early morning, I was walking around between contractions, enjoying myself but tired. During contractions I did a variety of things: leaned on the kitchen counter, crouched on the floor, danced, kneeled in front of the recliner resting my upper body on the seat. I was vocalizing low and very loud through the contractions, which were fairly painful at this point, but I was still in good spirits, as I thought I was dealing with the pain pretty good.

Around 1:30 a.m. I was walking through the kitchen, glanced at the clock, and the idea entered my head that the baby might very well be born in the next couple of hours. I felt optimistic about this, but also thought to myself that if the baby wasn't born by 6 a.m. I would call my dear friend Pam for moral support. I labored on, and it slowly got more painful and the contractions seemed to be coming closer together, although to be honest this time (for the first time for me in a birth) it all kind of blurred together. I don't mean there weren't any breaks, just that it felt like a continuous whole and I didn't consciously change gears between and during contractions. So I really don't have a clear memory of how fast the contractions were coming, just that it was getting more intense.

Before the birth I'd been thinking that I might give birth in bed, in my bedroom that I love so much, but the kids were sleeping in there and I felt absolute no desire to be in there with them. I also thought about giving birth in the living room, where I did before, leaning over the recliner, but kept feeling pulled toward the back of the house, where the bathtub is. I finally grabbed a bunch of pillows and blankets, dragged them back there, and set up a little nest for myself next to the bathtub, in a space of about 2 by 3 feet, and set up some candles in the adjacent room so that only the softest glow of light would reach me.

Shortly after I was done with that, the contractions intensified so that I was feeling them in my back and really having trouble getting through them. It felt like my back was going to split apart, searing pain, the kind of pain that relaxation exercises can't touch. Mostly I was on my hands and knees, sometimes leaning over the side of the tub. The contractions were coming almost continously now and I was really in agony, really hating it. After about an hour of that I was really feeling at the end of my rope, and I gasped out, as if I was talking to someone, that I really didn't need it to be this painful, that the pain wasn't serving any purpose, and please, please, just make it not hurt.

And then, the next contraction didn't come. I waited and waited, and still it didn't come. I sat back against the wall and rested. I started feeling pretty good, very relaxed, and I thought, "huh. Maybe I'm going to get my butter birth after all! Maybe this is going to be painless from here on out!" I was very pleased at the thought of this, and it never once occured to me that something was wrong because the contractions had stopped. Everything felt absolutely fine.

I got up for a moment to get my robe, as I was starting to cool down, and then sat back down against the wall, my legs flopped apart, my head propped up on my hand, and I feel asleep. It was glorious, it felt so good. I estimate that I rested this way for about an hour.

Then suddenly, BANG, it started back up again, and I was literally propelled back onto my hands and knees and was shrieking at the peaks of contractions. At the break I leapt up, opened the bedroom door, and said to my husband, "I need you." He had been asleep, but immediately woke and was alert and asking me what I needed. I told him to just put pressure on my back where and when I indicated.

I wailed long and loud. I said my husband's name over and over, I swore, and I shrieked. I thought about going to the hospital even while knowing that it was ridiculous to consider at this point, and the words "go get the car running" were on the tip of my tongue, but I could not bring myself to say them. My husband was a great comfort, kneeling behind me. He was wonderfully warm and solid as I leaned back against him during each few seconds of rest.

Another hour of that, and then it was like something in my brain clicked, and I thought to check for her head. I could hardly believe that it was right there, at the tippy-top of my fingers. Hard and warm, about an inch in diameter. Right then I desided to start bearing down, even thought I didn't have the urge yet, I felt sure that I could get her out, and I was so ready for it to be over. So I bore down a bit to see how it would feel, and it felt fine, so with the next contractions I pushed as hard as I could. In the space of three contractions she moved slowly, slowly down. The last time I felt, it felt like maybe there was a two inch diameter of her head presenting. I was pushing as hard as I could and it felt incredibly tight, like there was absolutely no stretch left, no room left. And then, my water broke with a lovely warm gush, and with the fourth contraction and an incredible amount of effort and feeling like I was trying to push a bowling ball through, out she came into my husband's hands.

He set her on the ground beneath me, I lifted my left leg and sat back, and he helped me gather her into my arms. It was the most incredible relief, to be DONE, and it felt very matter-of-fact, yet wonderful, to have her there. My husband went and checked the time -- 6 a.m. -- and got some towels and more blankets, and then sat down with me and we just looked and looked at her, and said, "here she is," and smiled at each other. It wasn't spiritual in the sense that the heavens opened and the angels began to sing, but it was in the sense that it was so real, so uncontrived, and we were both utterly unselfconscious and fully in the moment. Nothing to take us out of and away from it. Words fail me in trying to describe how awesome it was, and how much it stayed with me and affected the postpartum, how important it was in that way. I am still so amazed and grateful that I got to experience that, and I will never, ever forget it.

And, a little anti-climactic, but there is always third stage. Several minutes my oldest son appeared bleary-eyed in the doorway and said, "I thought I heard some crying," and I laughed and said, "you did, look, here's the baby," and he gave me the sweetest smile. I was starting to get cold (really shaking, like I've done after all my births) and uncomfortable in the vagina/butt area, so my husband helped me up and I went and sat in the living room recliner to nurse and wait for the placenta. It wasn't that long, I think maybe 20 minutes? but I was becoming impatient -- again, I felt DONE. I handed the baby to my husband, squatted, twiddled my nipples, bore down a bit, and pulled on the cord gently. (None of this I did consciously, thinking that I should or could, but just did automatically. I certainly wouldn't have planned to put traction on the cord, and wouldn't advise any one else to do it.) Soon after I got an urge to push and it plopped out, ah what a relief!

And, well, there isn't that much else to say. Since it was morning and everyone was getting up for the day, I ate and cleaned myself and nursed and rested and called people, and so began our babymoon.
post #5 of 21

This part...

Originally Posted by blueviolet
It wasn't spiritual in the sense that the heavens opened and the angels began to sing, but it was in the sense that it was so real, so uncontrived, and we were both utterly unselfconscious and fully in the moment. Nothing to take us out of and away from it. Words fail me in trying to describe how awesome it was, and how much it stayed with me and affected the postpartum, how important it was in that way. I am still so amazed and grateful that I got to experience that, and I will never, ever forget it.
moved me to tears. Beautiful

Thank you for sharing your story
post #6 of 21

2 stories

The unassisted water birth of Damien 12/09/04


With this being my fourth birth and my second unassisted birth you'd think I would have known what to expect. Well lets just say ...always expect the unexpected!

With my last baby I had had very traditional OB prenatal care until we moved to a new state when I was 7.5 months along...you can read the birth story here. This time around I felt the need to have prenatal care but didn't want to use an OB. There is only handful of midwives near me and only one that accepted my healthcare. I went with the one who was covered by my healthcare. Visits with her were what I called "drive bye visits" I waited to see her for 30 minutes to an hour and then went back, peed in a cup, got weighed, went in the exam room and waited another 15 minutes, got asked a series of silly questions, listened to the heartbeat, and was sent on my way. That amounted to an hour or so of waiting for a 5 minute visit with the underpaid OB (i.e. the hospital midwife). Not sure why I continued to see her throughout the pregnancy despite the fact that she spewed ridiculous crap at me at many visits (like I needed to stop nursing my toddler by 18 weeks or I was risking my unborn babies life), except that my instincts told me I should go. The only test we consented to was the 6 week and 20 week ultrasound, which was done by a perinatologist because of my daughter’s conditions. Through out the pregnancy I felt like the baby was healthy and the outcome of the birth would be good. However, I had a nagging feeling that this baby would be BIG and that I may have some complication...but it would resolve itself. The midwife scoffed at my suggestion that I was bigger than with my last 3 or that the baby was unusually big or that my instincts were anything but whiny complaints.
The midwife estimated the babies due date to be December 2nd at the 6 week ultrasound and the perinatologist estimated it to be December 9th at the 20 week ultrasound. I gained a total of 55 pounds from my 6 week appointment to my 40 week appointment. I didn't have any real discomfort or "problems" except that the baby felt huge and there was a very sore spot under my rib cage.

Now for the fun part....

I had a couple of days of thinking THIS IS IT! I wasn't sure if I should expect the same type of labor (menstrual like cramps with a quick transition) or something different. All the false alarms felt very different from Lucy's birth...they were actually painful contractions and were regular at short intervals but they stopped after a few hours each time. My December 2nd due date came and went without any sign of baby. I got paranoid that maybe he wouldn't come on his own. The midwife even tried to convince me that being my 4th birth my uterus was worn out and wouldn't be able to maintain productive contractions and that I "needed" her to break my water and have a pitocin drip to get things moving along. Of course I laughed and refused even considering that as an option. I did however try every trick the book to get labor started. NOTHING worked. I had OMT, Chiro adjustment, spicy Thai food, spicy Mexican food, fresh pineapple, sex, nipple stimulation, walking, jumping on the trampoline, blue/black coshosh, rubbing castor oil on my stomach ( I couldn't make myself drink it), not to mention I had been taking Red Raspberry Leaf & Evening Primrose Oil.

On December 9th (my original due date) just like with Lucy...I started to feel the menstrual like cramps, followed by a feeling of urgency. This was around 7 PM just after dinner. DH lit candles, ran a bath, turned on Sade (music), and got all giddy with excitement. We didn't tell the kids anything, as I didn't know if I'd be in labor for minutes, hours, or days. By 8 PM the cramps required a bit of focus and were coming at exactly 8 minutes apart. I was amazed that my body was so punctual I decided to get in the tub about 8:30 when the cramps moved to 6 minutes apart. I was very talkative and was thrilled that things were going so well. DH was a sweetheart and listened to me talk like an auctioneer (really fast) about everything under the sun. By 9:30 the cramps were full on contractions every 3 minutes. I got out of the tub and went to the toilet and then back to the tub. I began my primal roars (and the kids realized what was going on - DH made them stay at the bathrrom doorway because they were WAY too hyped up and we needed to focus) when I re-entered the tub and DH began asking what I wanted him to do. I kept saying "I don't know - nothing" Then the question changed to what do you need...and my reply every time was "sleep...I just want to sleep - make this stop so I can sleep" I could see that DH was feeling a little helpless so the next time he asked I said "don't ask anymore - just do what you want" Well he did...he saw I was hot (the heater was on but I didn't want it off - despite how hot I was) and he got a cold wet towel to wipe my face....the first time he did it I hated it and was mad but a few seconds later I motioned for him to do it again...I went back and forth between loving it and hating it 4 or 5 times (I feel really grateful to have such a loving and patient partner). About 9 PM I could feel the head ready to come out...I told DH and he again asked what I wanted him to do ..."nothing" I was on my hands and knees and DH was trying to help support my body by putting his arms under my arm pits and pulling my body up. The head didn't just pop out like it had with Lucy...it took 3 pushes and the entire time felt like it was impossible and wasn't going to ever come out. It finally came out and I was shocked at the size and weight. Of course the contractions didn't give me a break - they came right away and I sat through 2 before realizing I had to push the body out ( it had slid out right after the head with Lucy). With the next contraction I began pushing...it felt utterly unproductive. I felt like I was getting nowhere. After 3 contrax and pushing with all my might...I declared "I can't do it - he is stuck" DH said well what are we going to do " I said "I don't know - I just want to sleep" The next contrax came and I again attempted to push out his body....when I was unsuccessful I put my hand under the water and felt his head again - it was heavy and limp and I wondered in the back of my head for a split second - if he was OK. I said another contrax was coming and all of the sudden DH jumped in the tub - got behind me (I was beyond mad at him for this...I didn't want to move and not so fast and why was crowding my space - this was hard enough - I mean like HE knew what I needed - right !?! i was wrong I am eternally greatful he did it and don't know what the outcome would be if he didn't) flipped me backwards (I was on my hands & knees) and got his legs under me (to lift me off the bottom of the tub) and when I began to push he used all of his force to push my shoulders - causing me to push my feet on the end of the tub ...this resulted in much more force and after 2 pushes at 9:15 PM his body emerged. I picked him up and again could barely open my eyes...and just like with Lucy I said "he's not breathing - is he ok?" DH assured me he could see him breathing and he was fine. He let out a cry and I was relieved. He was very purple...but pinked up with in a minute or so (didn’t take long). I sat in the water - despite the fact it was cold and murky waiting for the urge to push out the placenta....it never happened. 25 minutes after the birth I'd had enough of the cold dirty water and the cord had stopped pulsing so I had DH cut it and I got in the shower. At almost an hour after the birth there was no sign of the placenta and only mild cramping...baby had nursed a twice for just moments so I decided to try again. He nursed for a good 15 minutes but still no urge to push and no placenta. I felt fine but I knew the placenta was supposed to have been out by now. I started researching and of course all the medical info said I would hemorrhage or get toxic shock syndrome etc if it was not out within an hour - it was almost 2 hours. I was barely bleeding and felt physically & mentally fine...none of the symptoms of a dire situation. I decided that if I saw lots of blood or felt sick I would call the midwife or go to the hospital. After about 3 hours and lots of blue/black cohosh (which again did NOTHING) I decided to instant message a friend and see if she had any advice. She was shocked that the placenta was still in and decided to IM a friend who'd had a UC birth to see if she had any advice....luckily she did she said to walk around for 5 minutes and then go pee....sounded WAY too simple. I did it anyway - even though I didn't like it (I just wanted to sit LOL). I went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet - NOTHING....I made myself pee (it didn't feel like I needed too) and decided this was yet another silly idea that wouldn't work. I stood up and felt a weird sensation - took one step and the placenta literally fell out onto the floor. IT WORKED (thank goodness for instant messenger, good friends - and ones that stay up really late ! It was 3 AM)

Since he was born on a Thursday and I didn't want to go anywhere Friday - we scheduled a midwife appoint. & pediatrician appoint for Monday. By Monday I realized that although I don’t tear (thanks to the water/tub - I am sure) I had huge PAINFUL external hemorrhoids (they were so painful I actually considered going to the er over the weekend) and I was VERY glad to have made a midwife appoint. and that I had a care provider to go to. She examined me and said everything looked great and she was impressed and my hemorrhoids weren't THAT bad ( I can not imagine how they could be worse- I would die) and gave me a hydrocortisone cream prescription for them ( it was like heaven in a tube and made them disappear QUICK). She also said DH should be a midwife ( later ont he pediatrician made the same comment LOL). She weighed my older daughter holding my son on the adult scale because she wanted to know how much he weighed as she thought he looked big ( DUH - I've been trying to tell you all along) and we hadn't weighed him yet. We all guessed around 8 pounds...which would have been fairly big compared to my other three that were all around 7 #. The adult scales said almost 11 pounds...the midwife was sure it was wrong and held him in the air and said probably 9 pounds but call me and let me know what the pediatrician weighs him at. We left and went straight to the ped office. They were shocked at his size and weighed him .................................................. ......10 pounds 13.5 oz. He likely weighed over 11 pounds four days prior when he was born. Despite the fact that he was in the 90 & 95% on the growth chart and showed all signs of good health the ped tried to tell us that because we left the cord on more than a few minutes (25) that he had "too much blood" which is what was causing his skin to appear red. After scaring me (though I thought it was a load of crap the minute she said it - the new mommy had to worry a little) she tested his blood and deemed him healthy and free of this horrible blood disease.

Since his birth I have been told by a number of midwives and the pediatrician that I am lucky....that his shoulders were likely stuck and that he could have had broken bones, died, or been brain damaged not to mention I could have hemmoraged and died etc. etc. etc. I have heard stories of women whose babies were "stuck" and the trauma that they and their babies were put through. I call this an UN-complicated birth because I did not perceive the birth as complicated...it was a normal natural process that required me and my DH to use our instincts and to follow our path without being hindered by expectations or averages or standards. It may have been hard to deliver him and the placenta hanging around for so long might have been a bit worrisome BUT it was nothing we couldn't handle. I realized after Lucy's birth that UC saved her and I from a whole lot of unnecessary stress and trauma....I now see that once again with Damien.

4 days after his birth he gained 6 oz. He is already 13# at 3 weeks old


The unassisted waterbirth of Lucy


~~~~~~~~~`Written 3 Hours after her birth on October 2nd 2002

I was up all night with crampy contractions that I didnt consider to be painful enough to be productive. I made a big breakfast (didnt eat ...hadnt eatin since lunch yesterday) sent my honey off to work, packed a lunch for my daughter who had a big field trip to go to and waited for my sister to come and take her to school (I was supposed to go on the field trip, and planned on it right up to the last minute) all the while having minute or so long contractions every 10-15 minutes. About 8:40 I started feeling in a hurry. I sent my sister and daughter off, and assured them I'd be fine. My son was quickly placed in front of the TV P and I got water, my midwife book, lit candles, and ran HOT water .....the contractions were getting closer together and longer...I rolled arrowed in the water and the jets were my only relief. I called DH and my worst fear,,,,,he didnt answer. So after about fifteen minutes where I felt like my head was spinning and thoughts of "I want to go the hospital ....

"I want an epidural" "I just want to go to sleep and do this some other time" were all thoughts that were racing through my head as I reached down and felt her head. I pushed her head back in and called DH and said hurry she's coming.....he said I'll be there in 2 minutes.....by now I had the urge to push but didnt feel like I was ready for her to come out. Each time I pushed I did so reluctantly and each time with my hand on her head. Dh came rushing in and I said "look and see if that is her head" My water had never "officially" broken (that I noticed) and so I wasnt sure if it was her butt, her head, or her bag....my first instinct was it was her head. He looked and said "its her head I see her hair......she's coming" I said "NO I'm not ready......I'm pushing her back in!" he said "no don't push her back ...she is ready to come" "I said no I'm not ready.......I'm not ready" and as I pushed her head back in I felt her body shift up just a tad and felt great relief as I anticipated the next urge to push in a minute or two. The urge came and I pushed.......I had my hand on her head until it was almost out and then I had to get a grip. All the while the jets in bath tub were going strong, the tub was full, and the candles were burning. I pushed and her head came out ..>DH grabbed her head and said "her heads out, she is coming, you're doing great....you're doing it honey!" One more push and her body slid right out he caught her and picked her up and said "look at her honey, she's perfect" I said " NO I can't ....I can't open my eyes" It was like a I was frozen almost like a reaction I could not move. I finally convinced myself to open my eyes. When I did, I looked at her and her face was purplish blue and I said "she is not breathing (she still hadnt cried) what's wrong with her....make her cry." Dh said "no, I'm not going to make her cry" and he handed her to me.......he kept reassuring me that her nose was clean her mouth and throat were clean and she was breathing fine.........but I was uneasy. As soon as he handed her to me she started to cry. I looked at her and came to the reality that she was born and she fine and started to nurse her.

I am still in awe.......it feels like a big science project THAT WORKED ! This is my third baby and I have to wonder what my first two would have been like, had I had more control over my care. I really only felt out of sorts for an hour and it was all happening so fast that the hour seemed more like fifteen minutes. As far as we can tell I did not tear......I have peed (and boy did that sting !) ....I birthed the placenta......I am bleeding slightly as I feed her.......all is well. Couldnt be more perfect.

In the words of my Five year old son (who wanted to know if there was a big hole in stomach now)

" I sure am glad we didnt have to do this at the hospital, then there'd be doctors and stuff and I'd be asking if we could go yet"
post #7 of 21

UC stories

I love to share my story! please click "Sydneys birth " in my signature!
post #8 of 21
is there anyway we could get a sticky w/all of our birthstories on it (like the beginning of our monthly threads).

Oh, and here is Owen's story

post #9 of 21
I like the sticky idea feel free to post my birth story there... for now the story is in the link in my signature
post #10 of 21
I just added links to my most recent UC birth story and video to my sig line. I can't seem to find my others already posted online..
post #11 of 21
Amy.. HOW COOL WAS THAT?! So I clicked on your link and BAM.. you're giving birth right before my eyes! What a beautiful video.. your dh did a fantastic job, and so did you, having that little doll. Tears in my eyes the whole time.

post #12 of 21
You are indeed the posterchild for the true experience of birth!
First, your baby's cord was wrapped around her neck, and she still cried! (what do doctors know huh?)
And what is with you not breaking a sweat??? lol
The whole experience was truly amazing and so simple.
Were all your babies born this way?
Wow mama!
You and your family are just beautiful. I know it's been some time since the birth, but congratulations!
post #13 of 21
Well, thank you, Amyjean and lizzie.

No, sadly, not all my births were like this. My first, I was a very good girl and had a very nice sheeple birth in the hospital with an OB resident for whom I was a very good teaching case. My 2nd was a planned homebirth that ended up as a hospital breech birth. I have a video for that too, but neither dh nor I have been able to watch it and edit it into a watchable video; by God's grace that son is alive and well and perfectly normal and whole (no thanks to the sOB). My 3rd was a planned hospital birth with a family doctor that we trusted (to no avail). My 4th was a planned homebirth that ended up as an unassisted hospital birth-- that is, at the moment of her birth, dh and I had been left unattended so DH caught her. Our 5th was our first home birth, first UP/UC, but a dry birth. He was 10 lbs at birth and had a nuchal hand (this is probably why you hear me exclaim over and over again how TINY this last baby was ). This 6th baby was my first waterbirth... and I have to tell you, now I wish I'd done a water birth sooner!
post #14 of 21
AMY, WOW, there are no words.

You are amazing. I wish all births went this way. There is a thread about what midwives can learn from UC'ers. Please, post there. You don't even have to type anything, your video says it all.
post #15 of 21
On Saturday around 4 in the afternoon I started noticing that I was contracting on a fairly regular basis. I timed for about an hour to see if I was right, and they were about 4-6 minutes apart. Cyana and Luis got home from shopping, and I told him about the contractions, but didn’t want to get too excited. I had read too many birth stories of regular contractions just fading after a few hours. So I went to Monique’s to drop off sling fabric, and chatted with her and Benji for a while. Still contracting, a little more frequently. I decided I better hit the road, before I was unable to drive. Got home, ate dinner. I kept telling myself and Luis I didn’t want to set up the pool, only to have things fade, and be disappointed. He said that it seemed likely to be it, and that we should go ahead and do it. Around 8 we set up the pool with one hose of hot from the washer, and another of cold from outside. We also put water on to boil to fill the pool as it cooled, or the water heater ran out. I got in the pool for a while with Cyana, then decided if I wanted things to move along I better get out, and move around. I paced the house for a little while, and Luis hooked up the dvd player in the bedroom in case Cyana decided she didn’t want to hang out with us. I tried to walk around my yard, but I felt super exposed. Cyana watched a dvd while I labored in and out of the pool. Contractions were very manageable. Her dvd ended, and she came out into the living room. It was getting a little more painful, and I felt the need to be alone, and wanted to try and sleep (yeah right), so I went into the bedroom for about an hour or so. I began to need to vocalize through the contractions, and repeated to myself as a mantra You have all the knowledge, You have all the power in my head between contractions.
I went back out to get into the pool, and Cyana had fallen asleep in her room. Luis put her to bed, and we put on Life Is Beautiful to watch. I had planned on music, but really didn’t want any at the time. The movie was perfect, since I could labor with my back to the t.v., and easily tune it out since it wasn’t in english. Things sterted to really pick up then. I kept telling myself I couldn’t be in transition yet, because I was still too rational, and that I better prepare myself for worse. And it got way worse. I started howling and shaking during the contractions. I tried to keep my voice deep, and my mouth and face loose, and for some I could, but others I just screamed, and howled like a wild woman. I told myself I was in transition, but my logical self, and my instinctual self were not communicating effectively by then. I kept thinking I was done, and how good a shot of something to take the pain away would feel. Then I would be clear again, and would tell myself that the giving up, and desperation are all signs of transition. I was in the pool, leaning with my arms over the side, and resting my head on the side between contractions. At first Luis left me alone, which is exactly what I needed. It was good not to have any distractions. As it got more intense, he leaned over and offered me his hand. I remembered squeezing his hand when laboring with Cyana. He also did a little efflurage between contractions, which I surprisingly didn’t mind. During the really intense ones, I started yelling NO! I was getting mad at my body for hurting so much, and was telling it no more. Luis reminded me to work with the pain, and not fight it. As I was screaming no he said open, make them work for you. So I found myself howling Nooopen through a lot of them. It actually helped a lot to have him there to center me, and encourage me. After every one he would tell me I was doing a great job. I didn’t think I would want to be talked to, as with Cyana anything anyone said was irritating, and to me patronizing. This time I think it helped so much because I knew he was telling me the truth. With Cyana I think it was more he said what he thought he should, but was himself, unsure if it was true. This time we had actual knowledge of, and faith in the process, which I think gave me the ability to believe what he was saying, and trust his advice.
I thought being in the water would really take the edge off. I don’t know maybe it did. But I was frustrated that during the worst contractions, when I was really thrashing my arms and head, the water moving against me hurt too. I kept wanting to ask Luis to rub my shoulders to relieve the tension, or counter pressure on my back, but I never found the words. I also tried to stand up at one point, but moving was not going to happen. I guess it must have been about an hour or so of super intense, out of my mind ,howling so loud I’m surprised the cops weren’t called laboring. I sat back on my knees and heels through one of them, and threw my head back, and just let go. I don’t think I have ever felt so primal, and not in control. I was leaning over the side of the pool, feeling like I was going to explode, when I felt a pop, like a balloon. I said the water just broke. Then it was 2 contractions later that I felt the burning, and pressure. I screamed at Luis it’s coming. He jumped in the pool ( fully clothed). He said he could feel the head. Then I just started pushing. I had no choice, my body needed to get rid of that pressure, and fire! Luis said the head was out, and I rested for a maybe 30 seconds, then remembered her head was out, under water, and I needed to get the rest out. I pushed to more times, roaring as I did, and felt the amazing relief of her body spinning and slipping out. Luis said she shot out like a cannonball into his hands. He lifted her out, and I heard her scream. He said it’s a girl. I was shaking and leaning on the side of the pool, and kept asking is she breathing, and telling him to rub her spine. He said she was, and that she was pink too. Then he had to pass her to me from behind between my legs. That was tricky, a we found she had a fairly short cord.
I got out of the pool, and sat to nurse her and check her out. I had Luis give me some shepard’s purse under my tongue. I wasn’t really bleeding too bad, but I was afraid of it I guess. She didn’t want to nurse immediately, so we just hung out. I kept offering her the breast, and she took it about 15 minutes later. It was awkward though, as her cord was so short. We planned on waiting to cut the cord, but when 2 hours had passed, and the placenta still had not made her appearance, and nursing and holding a slippery newborn with a short cord got too much, we cut it. It was white and limp, and cold. I started stressing about how long the placenta was taking. I did some uterine massage, and found my uterus was already turning into a ball like it was supposed to. I kept checking for excessive bleeding, there was none, but it was hard to tell what was new, or was just dripping from the sac that had fluid in it still that was hanging out with the cord. I tried squatting, light pushing, but still no placenta. I had a few contractions, but no placenta. Around 3 I got up to rinse off the old blood to help determine if there was a lot of new blood. When I was in the shower I tried squatting again, I also tried gently pulling to see if I felt anything. I didn’t, but I was NOT going to pull for real, in case the placenta was still attached. I had Luis bring me scissors, and cut what I could from hanging too low. The sac kept filling with shower water, and blood, it was irritating. It looked like a little water balloon hanging between my legs. Luis found it slightly amusing to watch me waddle through the house with a plastic bowl between my legs to keep from dripping all over. Cyana finally woke up around 4. She said she heard the bay crying, and it woke her up. HUH?! Mama screaming at the top of her lungs for an hour straight did nothing to ya though. Luis had even gone in after we cut the cord to wake her, and she just rolled over. I was clearly stressing about the placenta, and Luis told me to just go lie down, and try to rest, and wait. I did. I had just started to fall asleep when I had to pee. I got up, had a contraction with a pushy feeling, and plop went the placenta into the toilet. The placenta was born at 6:10 am a full 5 hours after her baby. I felt so much better.
We asked Cyana what the baby’s name should be, and after ruling out Miss Jimi Hendrix we agreed on Lilah Ruth. She nurses when she is not sleeping, much to the discomfort of my sore nipples. I never thought I could get sore nipples after nursing for 3 ½ years. I guess that 6 month break made a huge difference in nipple sensitivity. We will work it out though.
When I think about Liliah’s birth, and what it was, I realize that it is just normal. Sure amazing in the sense that every pregnancy and birth are amazing, but also normal. I don’t feel empowered, like I am a super woman. I feel more humbled like every mother does this (or used to). I feel like any other way we could have brought her into this world would have been wrong. That’s what I want people to understand. That we are normal. It hurt like hell, and I don’t ever want to do it again. I am tired and sore, like any other woman who has given birth. I am elated, and in love, just like any other woman who has just given birth. That’s what I am. Another woman who has given birth. I am grateful for the ability to see past society’s fears about birth, and for the friend who first alighted me onto the path of unattended birth. I am grateful for the strength that all birthing women possess. I hope that more women find it, and draw upon it.
post #16 of 21
Originally Posted by Chandar
We asked Cyana what the baby’s name should be, and after ruling out Miss Jimi Hendrix we agreed on Lilah Ruth.
Awwww, I kind of like Miss Jimi!!

Originally Posted by Chandar
When I think about Liliah’s birth, and what it was, I realize that it is just normal. Sure amazing in the sense that every pregnancy and birth are amazing, but also normal. I don’t feel empowered, like I am a super woman. I feel more humbled like every mother does this (or used to). I feel like any other way we could have brought her into this world would have been wrong. That’s what I want people to understand. That we are normal. It hurt like hell, and I don’t ever want to do it again. I am tired and sore, like any other woman who has given birth. I am elated, and in love, just like any other woman who has just given birth. That’s what I am. Another woman who has given birth. I am grateful for the ability to see past society’s fears about birth, and for the friend who first alighted me onto the path of unattended birth. I am grateful for the strength that all birthing women possess. I hope that more women find it, and draw upon it.
That is so cool. You expressed that so well. "Just like any other woman!!" I wish there were more who could (I mean Would!) experience like birth like that.

post #17 of 21
post #18 of 21
Well, **SHE** is here! My second baby, born July 9th, 2004, at 12:53pm. I was so convinced I was going to have a boy. What a suprise, now I have two grrls

She has opinions on everything! She cried when she was born, and cries whenever anything is not going her way. So different from my first baby, who I rarely heard cry.

It was the easiest birth I could have wished for. Almost totally painless. In my story, when I refer to contractions, hugs and rushes, they were all pretty mild and more like a energy wave, then major pain. I think part of the reason it went so well is that I took homeopathic arnica thoughout the labour, and rubbed arnica gel on my belly, back, and yoni. I also took some rescue remedy when I was feeling shakey towards the end, and some pulsatilla and chamomilla at different appropriate times. I also moved how I felt good, and was amazed at how just a simple adjustment in position would change the rushes. It also had to do with my mindset as well, thouroughly believing in myself to be able to birth safely and easily unassisted.

Labour started on the 8th during the day. I could feel my uterus tighten every once in a while, and was excited that my baby might be born soon. I kept this to myself, cause I didn't want to get everyone worked up for nothing. I figured that this labour would be about half of as long my first labour was, cause that was how it was for my mom when she had me and my brother, and it was. I never really timed the contractions, cause that didn't seem to me like a good indicator of how far along I was. I checked my dialation instead, not by centimeters, but by how much of the babies head I could feel. I could always feel the amniotic sac and waters whenever I checked my dialation, a perfect cushion for me and the babe. It was nice, cause with my first birth, the membranes were artificially ruptured, which made labour a whole lot more painful.

As labour progressed that night, I watched a movie with my family. My SIL (mamafern) gave me acupressure, and womyn, that felt good. After the movie, everyone dispersed, as per my request, and I told Marty that I thought tonight would be the night so I started doing some major nesting. I put the huge kiddy pool in the middle of the living room, with two shower curtains underneath, and put out my various birth things that I thought I would need (piles of towels, homeopathics, lit candles, motherwort tincture, perinium cloths...).

The pool was the same one that I laboured in with my 1stDD, so it was kind of nostalgic for me. I realized that I was probably not going to have the baby for quite awhile yet after everything was prepared so I went to bed and tried to sleep a bit. I was very excited though, and the rushes were sometimes too much to sleep through, but I was able to sleep for a good amount of time that night. Some time during the late night, I couldn't sleep, because of the contractions, so I got up and filled the kiddy pool with a garden hose attached to the shower head in the bathroom, making sure to make it nice and hot like I wanted it last time around, but it never seemed to be hot enough that time. I plunged in there and Marty woke up then and asked if I needed/ wanted him to do anything. I said not really, and we talked for a bit, and he tried to go back to sleep. My mom came in some time too, wondering what was going on (remember, I didn't tell anyone yet, other than marty)

I spent a total of about 4 contractions in the kiddy pool, and I realized that I didn't like it. It was just way too PVC-stinky for me to be in. And I wondered if my first labour was so painful because I was in this smelly thing.

So I went back to bed again, and slept between contractions till my DD woke up, and I got up too, as the sun was coming up and I didn't want to be in bed anymore. I spent basically the whole labour alone, that morning, except for when I wanted someone, or something and they'd be right there, and that was good. They really respected my needs and wants, maybe because I really drilled it into their heads I would move from on my bed to on the guest bed, and walk around. When my DD came near me
during a contraction, I don't know if it was phychological or what, but that intensified the contractions, and I asked marty to get her out of there.

Luckily, I was living in my moms basement suite at the time, and she was supportive of my having an UC so she watched DD while I did my thing. Marty was nearby and was still trying to sleep in the early morning, so I was on my own, like I wanted it.

After awhile, I wanted to be in water, so I went into my nice big bathtub. I stayed in there for a long time, feeling so nice and warm. the rushes were getting closer together, but so gentle still, just like at the beginning of labour. I wondered if something was up, but trusted that everything would be ok. I got out of the tub right before "tranny", and took some pictures of my swelling belly that had henna all around my belly button. Marty was going from bed, to me, to kitchen, tired as he was, and made me some miso soup, brought me some water, my homeopathics, some candles, and RR leaf tea. I think I had a whole bunch more things there on the bathtub edge, but I can't remember now. I kept popping my arnica, and rubbing the arnica gel all over my lower belly, back, and all around my yoni too, expecting labour to get more painful.

I was sitting in the bathtub with the soles of my feet together all during the end of labour and was totally dialated for about an hour or two (time was not really an issue for me) in awe. I could feel the whole of the babies head up there, and no cervix anymore. With my first (MW-assisted) birth, at this point in labour, I was peeling the wallpaper with my screams, so I was impressed. My mom came in then, and I told her how I was doing, and that the baby was going to come soon. She just listened and went back upstairs with DD after a few moments.

All of a sudden, I could feel something happening, big movemant, and knew that this baby was coming in a few minutes. I had a little "transition cry", not for the pain, but the INTENSITY. I was bringing another human being into the world! And I was still in awe that so far, it wasn't painful (lucky me). I got on all fours in the bathtub, and my body started grunting. It was so delightful as she headed down the birth canal. I was having such a good time, then I realized that everyone was going to miss her being born if I don't call them now, so I yelled to DP (who was napping), nonchalantly "Marty, can you get my mom and haeven," so he ran to get them. Then I got the urges to push, and I sat on my haunches (wanting a water birth. It's funny the things you think of, at those moments) and let her head slowly come out, with the sac around her head (born in the caul). Now I know what it feels like to really want to push. As soon as I felt her face through the sac, she turned her head, and the sac burst. Right at that moment, DP, my mom and DD came around the corner to see Samayas head hanging between my legs (must have looked pretty cool!) I was up on my knees above the water by that time, and I held her head in one hand as the rest of her spiraled out of me, and I caught her with my other hand, while my mom, DD and partner watched me at the side of the tub. Everyone was like, WOW. DD pionted at her and said, "BAYBEE.." I brought my baby up to my chest, close to my heart, and she breathed after a few seconds, sputtered and cried.

I sat back down in the water and we were all mesmerized with this little person who just joined the family. After an timeless moment, I asked Marty to get her a hat and receiving blanket, as she was wet and I didn't want her to get too cold. I don't know how long it was, when Marty realized that he should go check the time. Marty figured out it was 12:56, after staring at the clock for about 20 seconds, lost in space, and we thought it had been about three minutes since her debut, so she was born at 12:53, by our estimations.

Right then, after marty finished checking the clock contraption, I started to bleed in the water. I could see the blood reaching all the corners of the bathtub. It was kinda scary looking, but I knew it was ok. I now realize it was probably the placenta separating from the wall of the uterus, but I took a squirt of motherwort tincture, JIC.

So then, I decided to get out of the bathtub. I asked Marty to go get the placenta bowl. Just as Marty was coming around the corner with the bowl, and I stepped out of the tub, Marty put the bowl under me and the placenta slamdunked into the bowl, just in time. It was kinda funny and there was quite a blood splatter on the door of the bathroom that my mom later cleaned up.

I ventured out of the bathroom holding baby attached to placenta in the bowl carried by marty. I was still leaking, so I had towels between my legs, and I went and sat on my bed and they rushed to get me some big velvet pillows that I was leaning on for my 1st DD's birth. I felt like a queen. that's when marty took some pictures. I tried to nurse her, and kept her warm by changing the blanet that I was covering her with once it soaked up as much stuff as possible, and then later used thick wool blankets after she was all dry. I was in another world. I felt so good. In my pictures, you just see me smiling...

In a few hours, we cut the cord. It was white and the placenta was really in the way, with my 19 month old DD crawling all over me nursing, and trying to see her new sister in my arms. Marty boiled some hemp string and sewing scissors for the cord.

He cut it very gently, but later I noticed a bit of blood coming out of the cord stump, cause he didn't tie the hemp cord tight enough, so I re-tied it. Right after all that, I wasn't very hungry, but soon I started to pig out. I was getting my all-time-favorite foods... peanut butter tofu pie, spanikopita, organic pop........mmmmmmmmmmmmm! I was pampered.

She weighed 7 1/2 lbs according to the fish scale and sling I used, but I later realized that the clothes she was wearing counted for a lot more than I estimated, so she was probably more like 7 lbs 2-3ozs. She seemed so tiny, especially compared with my 30 lb. toddler. I kept her next to my skin for her first few days with a hat on her head, and barely a "diaper" on her bum. I was peed on a lot.

Even though it was the middle of summer, she had a hard time keeping warm for awhile, it seemed. She had some difficulties nursing too, as she had a high palate, and a kinda-sorta tongue-tie, but luckily, my older DD was still nursing (still is) so she had the milk squirting in her face for the most part.

I'm so glad my DD was able to witness her sister's birth. The first thing she said when she saw her was "bay-bee.." and said it for weeks after she was born. I hope someday, my grandbabies will be born like Samaya was.

I am so proud of my self that I gave birth unhindered and unassisted. But at the same time it seems like the only way it was meant to be, for me. If I have any more kids, they will definately be born unassisted as well.

Life is Beautiful
post #19 of 21
Here's mine! I just finished it today!


post #20 of 21
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