Another with the bf fear. At 6 weeks I started to hand express/ pump and by 10-12 dd was fully on the bottle (and still is
: ). I felt like an utter failure. While I'm making attempts to not repeat the past (researching, learning more, finding out about nearby consultants and groups, etc.), I still worry that my seemingly tremendous 34 f/g's will be too much for the new little babe.
My greatest fear right now is how well will I cope with 2? I know a lot of my tension/ stress with dd right now is exascerbated by my hormones. But I truly worry about the logistics of simply getting around. Like how am I going to go grocery shopping? Will I get a shower? Will anyone really come over to help out just alittle?
I've been feeling pretty stranded in the last few weeks by my mom and friends. Dh tries really hard, but he works a physical labor job for 40+ hours/ wk. I can only ask for so much from him. My mom is stressed over her own worries and I think my "spirited" toddler is just too much for her some days (she currently watches dd when I work). Most of my friends are at work or school all day, so there's really no one around just for me.
Oh yeah, and my immediate fear? That my homebirth MW will fall through. She had to reschedule my first appt. last week due to 6 births (completely understandable!) But I'm alittle stressed that I haven't heard from nor been able to get in touch with her. I'm sure everything will be fine, but still it's nagging in the back of my head...
I really do NOT want another hospital birth -- so much so I may just go UC whether dh prefers it or not.