Dump Your Fears Here (ridiculous or otherwise) - Page 2

[AngelBee]

I am afraid of stairs. Especially long flights of narrow stairs. I was at the Cathedral of St Paul once as a child and my dad had to carry me down the stairs because I thought I was going to pass out! I was like 10!

[heket]

Another with the bf fear. At 6 weeks I started to hand express/ pump and by 10-12 dd was fully on the bottle (and still is : ). I felt like an utter failure. While I'm making attempts to not repeat the past (researching, learning more, finding out about nearby consultants and groups, etc.), I still worry that my seemingly tremendous 34 f/g's will be too much for the new little babe.

My greatest fear right now is how well will I cope with 2? I know a lot of my tension/ stress with dd right now is exascerbated by my hormones. But I truly worry about the logistics of simply getting around. Like how am I going to go grocery shopping? Will I get a shower? Will anyone really come over to help out just alittle?

I've been feeling pretty stranded in the last few weeks by my mom and friends. Dh tries really hard, but he works a physical labor job for 40+ hours/ wk. I can only ask for so much from him. My mom is stressed over her own worries and I think my "spirited" toddler is just too much for her some days (she currently watches dd when I work). Most of my friends are at work or school all day, so there's really no one around just for me.

Oh yeah, and my immediate fear? That my homebirth MW will fall through. She had to reschedule my first appt. last week due to 6 births (completely understandable!) But I'm alittle stressed that I haven't heard from nor been able to get in touch with her. I'm sure everything will be fine, but still it's nagging in the back of my head... I really do NOT want another hospital birth -- so much so I may just go UC whether dh prefers it or not.

[KayleeZoo]

Well, I'm a worrier by nature, and pregnancy is the worst time for me, neurosis-wise.

I worry that the ultrasound missed something terribly wrong (even though it was done by a perinatologist, not a tech, with the latest equipment)

I worry that I'll have a sudden abruption

I worry that I'll have a dangerously early preemie

I worry that the baby will die from a cord accident

I worry that there will be cord involvement like with my last birth and we'll have to be scared for the baby's life/safety during labor/delivery again

I worry how I'm going to give enough to my very clingy toddler. My 4.5yo is really independant, but the little one is mama's girl. Having 3 kids under the age of 5 is really really daunting to me right now.

**Lots of the fears are helped by my having regular NST in the last 5 wks or so. I feel better and have a better outlook when everything looks good w/the baby, so my OB has me do a BPP and U/S every week after 35. It helps a lot with my anxiety. Although anything can happen during the birth, I'm so glad that she'll be there and that we'll be in the hospital in case something does go terribly wrong.

Whew. Thanks for starting this thread. It helps to get it all down, somehow.

[schatz]

I fear a premature delivery (but deep down I know I can handle it as I did last time but I don't want to have to deal with it - just hoping for full-term here).

I fear I'll have less milk than I did last time -- not likely but I still fear it.

I fear this baby will stay breech and they'll have to do a section -- this is probably my biggest fear because it feels out of my control. Bfing problems I can overcome; premie in the NICU can be dealt with; but the OB saying we need to section for breech - how do I say no? I wish that u/s tech had never told me this baby was breech at 22 weeks (yes, yes, I know there's plenty of time for the little bugger to flip but the seed of fear has been planted).

I had my first birth dream last night. I sort of jumped into the middle of it and there I was at home with just dh delivering TWINS naturally. No midwife, no hospital, just me and dh at home with twins! Aaack. It was wild but perfect. And then I looked down to see if they were girls or boys. I saw two little boys fully intact, I smiled, and then all of a sudden there were a bunch of worms on the bed and I woke up. How weird is that? Perhaps subconciously I secretly want a homebirth and hope to have twins some day but am scared of it? I also know i need to talk to dh about the whole no circ thing so that's probably why I noticed the boys were intact. Well, that's my dream analysis for today. :LOL

[CathToria]

Originally Posted by peacenlove

IWhat would you suggest to prepare for breastfeeding?, last time my nipples cracked and bled and it was very uncomfortable for a long time. how can i be better prepared this time?

There really isn't anything that you should do physically to your body to prepare. 99% of sore, especially cracked and bleeding, nipples is caused by improper latch. So, you may want to do some research about proper latch... having yoru baby open wide enough so that your nipple ends up in the back of his mouth and his gums/tongue are on your aerola. ALso when you go to latch your baby on, aim your nipple for the roof of his mouth, rather that his throat... this will help his tongue and lower jaw to get a good amount of your lower breast tissue into his mouth.

An exception to this is some moms with flat or inverted nipples will get sore and cracked more easily... due to the tendons and ligaments that keep their nipple in are forced to stretch too much when baby latches correctly. IN this case, breast shells, which can help ease the tendons/ligaments to stretch, should be worn in the last months of pregnancy.

It also may help to attend a LLL meeting or another breastfeeding support group while you are pg. that way, you would have contact people and support already in place.

HTH and good luck!!!

[Eaglevoice]

I fear being alone as a brand new mom. Our families both live in California. We have a bunch of friends here in Oregon, but I don't have any really close girlfriends up here. I'm freaked out to not have my mom or my sisters here with me to help out. I'm also scared that I'll have to go back to work after 12 weeks. I want nothing more than to be able to stay home with my baby, but we won't be able to afford it...

[schatz]

Originally Posted by Eaglevoice

I'm also scared that I'll have to go back to work after 12 weeks. I want nothing more than to be able to stay home with my baby, but we won't be able to afford it...

Ask here or in the working mamas forum for advice on this one. More of us work outside the home than you might think. Please come to us if you have questions about pumping, daycare, whatever. I don't have daycare issues because dh is a WAHD and cares for dd while I am at work but I know about pumping and just juggling life in general. I pumped for 18 months.

See how it goes, maybe there's a way you can afford to stay home after you investigate your options. If not, the WOHM's at MDC can lend their support.

[Aaudreysmom]

CathToria- Thanks for the support offer. After reading "The womanly Art of Breastfeeding" I think I am ready. Also our Ped is Dr. Fleiss and he has a wonderful LC in his office that I plan to visit as much as needed. And I plan to join LLL shortly so I feel I will have everything in place to overcome any problems.

Another fear that I had is PPD again. But this time I plan on taking my placenta home with me and eating it if I start to feel PPD.

[coleslaw]

Originally Posted by Aaudreysmom

Another fear that I had is PPD again. But this time I plan on taking my placenta home with me and eating it if I start to feel PPD.

What?! I've never heard of this. Could you please give me info on how this works and how exactly you do this?

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by schatz

I fear this baby will stay breech and they'll have to do a section -- this is probably my biggest fear because it feels out of my control. Bfing problems I can overcome; premie in the NICU can be dealt with; but the OB saying we need to section for breech - how do I say no? I wish that u/s tech had never told me this baby was breech at 22 weeks (yes, yes, I know there's plenty of time for the little bugger to flip but the seed of fear has been planted).

Breech does not necessitate cesarean, but finding a practioner who will "let" you deliver vaginally is next to impossible. I'd try chiropractic, yoga, the different exercises to turn a baby and as a last resort external version before submitting to a cesarean for a breech baby. Keep an eye on it if you want to avoid a c/s.

[schatz]

Originally Posted by annakiss

Breech does not necessitate cesarean, but finding a practioner who will "let" you deliver vaginally is next to impossible. I'd try chiropractic, yoga, the different exercises to turn a baby and as a last resort external version before submitting to a cesarean for a breech baby. Keep an eye on it if you want to avoid a c/s.

anna - we're going back and forth in multiple threads :LOL

yeah, that's my fear. That this bugger will present as breech and that the OB on call from my doc's group will refuse to try vaginal. Really, I need to talk to my doc as I get closer to 34 weeks and see what the climate of the group is. She wasn't concerned after the ultrasound. But, my view is clouded by the fact that one of our grad students just delivered in Dec and "had" to have a c/s because the baby was "too big" to turn (with a version or on it's own), was breech, and they felt she wouldn't be able to deliver it anyway if it was head down due to the size. This was her first baby. But, the climate here in my city is pretty liberal so I suspect that they won't push a section for breech but I don't know. I do know that I might have to show my doc the birth story of a women who recently delivered big twins vaginally and both were breech. Not in the plan but that was the way it happened (that is, they didn't know the babies were breech).

Anyhoo, thanks for the avoiding a c/s due to breech ideas!

[annakiss]

Originally Posted by Mariah101

I worry that:

I will have another 4th degree tear

Did you have an episiotomy with your first? Or just the tear?

[valeria_vi]

My biggest fear right now cannot be voiced anywhere. ;(((
My other fears - I'll have to "collect" them and then post.

[CathToria]

About encouraging a breech baby to turn, and even encouraging a posterior baby to flip.... www.spinningbabies.com.
HTH

[Debstmomy]

I was wondering ladies, have your fears changed as this pregnancy has progressed?
For me, yes and no. In the beginning, I worried alot about having another baby- financial reasons, goals changing etc. Now I do not worry about that so much, I have accepted my goal changes. Now I worry about the health & safety of my baby. I used to worry about misscarriage, & now about stillbirth so I guess that one has not changed.
So anyone else, have your fears changed as your belly grew?

[annakiss]

Certainly. In the first trimester, I was afraid I'd have a miscarriage. Now that the baby moves, I'm afraid that the baby will stop moving. Later on, more fears about the birth of the baby will come, I'm sure and of course, the terror of having two kids is sort of ever-present.

[Velvet005]

I used to worry about miscarrage and now it has changed to worrying about stillbirth.
All along I have worried about the mental and physical health of the baby. Working with people of special needs has a way of bringing all the fears of the things that could be wrong either developmentally or physically.

Sometimes, I fear that my quick temper tantrums I have w/dh will cause the baby to have major behavioral problems.

[robugmum]

Lately...

I fear another hemmhorage! Bleeding to death is a very real, very scary fear.

...another attack of bad, very painful hemmorhoids! (sorry if TMI!)

...another boy, because my ds has been driving me crazy!

..that there will be something wrong with this babe, that somehow we are tempting fate by having a third.

... that financial problems will be made harder by the addition of another child

[Aaudreysmom]

coleslaw - do a search from the MDC forums for "eat placenta" and you will get several discussions from people who have done it and there success. I tried to post the links here but I was not able to.

[MomAnita4Jesus]

my fears...

Early on - miscarriage. I had bleeding early on...I didn't have that with Elijah

Now - this baby isn't moving enough. Elijah was quite the mover! Azalyah moves just enough to keep me from calling my M/W

SIDS is a huge one for me!

I fear failing as a mom with 2 under 2. Elijah still requires a bunch of attention, and Azalyah is going to effect his life big time.

I fear we won't be able to get our bills under control enough for me to stay home (we have excellent credit and stuff..thats not waht I'm saying. But we LIVE as though we have 2 incomes...lots of adjusting and paying off being done.) If I go back to work, then MIL gets to watch both of my babies, control their day - despite what we say our wishes are. Argue with her, and deal with every single question we have about how their day goes being taken as an "accusiation" for something done wrong.

PPD - which I did have before. I was awful. But mentally I'm more prepared for it than I was lasttime. I had way under estimated "baby blues."

I fear I'll get to stay home, and then grow incredibly "stir crazy" at times and become a grumpy person in the evenings to my DH because I don't feel like he's helping out enough so i can have some "free time." I fear that my marriage will be put on hold - and SOMETHING there will die. There just aren't many people who participate in "play groups" around here. They are like NO WHERE to be found. The closest LLL meeting is about a half hour from me, and i called and left a message with both of the leaders about their meetings, and how to find them, etc. And neither called me back.

Um, I'm sure there's more...but I'll stop for now.