Anglyn, I would like to comment on your post
You wrote:But I never experinaced pain like that and I never got that endorphine rush other women talk about, I never felt more alive or in touch with other women or any of that.I was wishing like heck I had an epi availible. Now, after the fact, Im glad I didnt.
Reading everyone elses responses makes me wonder what the heck went wrong, why I didnt experiance it like everyone else seems to have.
I just wanted to tell you that I never got that endorphine rush either - the pain is just beyond anything I can explain and when I thought I was about to die, the pushing phase started. I also begged for epi every time, and this is one of the reasons why I prefer to give birth where there is NO epi available just to make sure I won't get it
As I said in a PP, I tried birthing both with and without Epi - though the EPi made birth painless I would not do it again.
I definetely do not believe that if you went through a lot of pain during labor that means you did something wrong. Not at all
But births are as different as women are, and nobody can predict how the experience will be like for her. My aunt for example never felt ANYTHING, while I did ,despite of all exercises, changing positions, breathing techniques and support from the midwives - and that does mean something went wrong
And no wonder you don't know whether you want to have another baby or not - you gave birth 3 weeks ago lady!!
You're still recovering and the memories are too fresh still. The good news is that when the baby craving kicks in, nature makes most women forget about most of the pain.
That's why I am sitting here 36 weeks pregnant waddling in pain most of the time - and I have already done it 3 times :LOL I somehow forget every time :LOL I just can't wait to hold a new little one in my arms after all is done though
So what I am trying to say is: You're not alone !!!