Originally Posted by Britishmum
It's frustrating that whatever 'works' for other kids just does not work for dd, so all the best-meant advice in the world from others is just useless, and it is depressing hearing it.
So true, so true!
I'd love to tell you what great thing I did to help Abi learn to use the potty, but I guess the best thing I did was stop meddling, give up, and leave it to her.
Both my kids are very big control freaks. It has to be their idea. Abi was the model EC baby (verbally signaled starting at 7 mos.) until she turned 12 mos and decided that was that. I tried all the tricks and methods. I got frustrated with her so much. Other times I tried to be positive.
Finally I told her it was her responsibility. I bought her pull ups and undies. I put her pants and shorts and undies and pull ups in a place where she could reach them. When she wet her pants, it was her job to change her clothes and put her clothes in the hamper, her pull up in the trash.
If we went out someplace and she wet, we went home. Period. I did not carry spare clothes. She started to have fewer and fewer accidents outside after I dragged her kicking and screaming back to the car when she was having a fun time at the playground or someone's house.
When she started preschool for a short time after Nitara was born they had a policy that they would call me if she wet and I had to come get her. They didn't handle it. I told her that and not once did she wet in preschool. She wet at home a lot though.
Finally at 3 years 8 mos old she started using the potty almost all the time. I would hear the lid slam down and the flush and her washing her hands. If she has accidents now it's usually in front of the flush because she waited too long or is having trouble with a buckle or zipper.
Poop she got down earlier, about 2.5, because she's very sensitive to smells and would gag when I was changing her diaper. I told her she could have a mini candy bar every time she pooped and a few days later she was pooping in the toilet consistently.
I say just give it time. Sensory kids have a harder time recognizing signals sometimes, and coordinating those signals into actions. Peer pressure should start to play into it soon. Maybe you can take her to another little girl's house and ask the mom if she minds watching her friend use the potty. Abi loves to watch other kids go pee and they don't seem to mind showing her.
Good luck! Hang in there!