1. Pay for their condoms or bc? There will be condoms in the home. But I really believe if you are old enough to be having sex, you are also old enough to buy your own birth control.
2. Allow them to sleep together at your house? I don't think I could stop sex happening in my home if I wanted to. I don't believe I will allow sleep overs of the oposite sex though. There is plenty of time for sleepovers later when they leave my home.
3. Give them privacy or do you watch over them like a hawk? Privacy. I give my daughter privacy now, and she is only 4.
4. Do you communicate with them about sex or do you avoid the subject? We have already talked about sex. Well the information was much more basic, as my daughter is only 4. I think it's important to talk to your children from a very early age on all subjects. With the information they can understand at their age level.
5. Do you accept (not necessarily like it) their decisions to be active or do you try to convince them to stop their sexual activity? Before age 16 for some reason it would really bothers me. This is my hang up. I will present my daughter with the facts to make her own choice, but I would really love if she could wait until after age 16 for sex. There is something really special about starting to date, and kissing, maybe some petting, but nothing else. It's innocent and I have so many good memories of sweet times like that. I worry that if my daughter is all the way sexually active before 16, some of this special time gets lost.
A few ideas I have had about the future.
My neice (9yo) is VERY private. She has a hard time talking to my sister about almost anything. It's just her nature. When my sister and her husband were divorcing, my neice was drawing a lot of disturbing pictures (which we thought was great, it was her way of expressing herself) but my sister wished that she could get her dd to open up more. I bought a really beautiful journal, and gave it to my sister. I thought she could write something in the journal about how sometimes feelings are hard to share. That if her dd ever had anything that she wanted to talk about, or ask questions about she could write it in here, then place the book on my sisters bed. Then my sister would write back, and place the book on my neices bed. My neice LOVED this. Started to write more and more in the book about her feelings, and now has a much better attitude about talking to my sister in general. I thought I would do this with my dd when she starts to write. I think that in her teen years if she has a question, that might seem like the most embarissing thing EVER to ask her MOM :rollseyes she might feel better writing it down. This idea came from my own childhood when I was a lot like my neice. My mother was so open with sex, and being a woman, but when I got my period I wrote my mom a note telling her I needed pads, and that I never wanted her to bring this up EVER with me. :LOL I was a weird kid.
Second. I have a real problem with oral sex being so popular with young people these days. Not because it shouldn't happen, but because I suspect that this means that boys are getting it and girls are getting squat. In any respectful sexual relationship, it's two ways. I hope to instill in my daughter that if she wants to have sex, she should also be able to tell the person she is having sex with what feels good, what doesn't. What she is comfortable with, and what she isn't. Plus a good measure of a man who wants oral sex is to say "Okay, you do me first". Then see what he says.