1. Pay for their condoms or bc?
I am trying to remember how I paid for mine in high school. Think I used babysitting money. I got pills from Planned Parenthood. I never really thought about asking for money for that - it was private and my responsibility. But I actually plan to buy a box of condoms at Costco, leave them in the girls' bathroom and tell them to use them as needed. If the supply got low, I'd assume they'd buy more just so I wouldn't be privy to their personal business but if they didn't (buy more), I would.
2. Allow them to sleep together at your house?
I don't know if "allow" is a word I'd use - it kinds of infers stuff I'm not sure about. I do think that sex in your own bed is much better, safer, less vulnerable feeling than in a car or outside or wherever. I'd much rather they be in one of their beds (my house or his - same diff) but I'm not sure I need to know about it. That just seems weird to me. It is private. I don't plan to tell my teens when I'll be having sex; likewise I don't want to know when they are. I really feel totally ok with them doing it - I just think it is private and the word allow seems to say "I know, I am in on this decision" and I don't think that I am part of someone else's decisions about things like that.
3. Give them privacy or do you watch over them like a hawk?
Oh good, an easy one.
Privacy definitely. Watching like a hawk is no match for teenage hormones. They find a way - you are not with them 24/7... I just don't like what it implys if I watch them like a hawk - I don't trust you; you cannot make a good decision without me; you're not safe if I'm not watching you; sex is wrong, etc.
4. Do you communicate with them about sex or do you avoid the subject?
I plan to talk to them (they are now 8, 4 and 1 - my friends with teens think I may change my tune when it is a realistic time frame) but I'll be fairly uncomfortable I'm sure as my parents never talked to me about sex.
5. Do you accept (not necessarily like it) their decisions to be active or do you try to convince them to stop their sexual activity?
I think I'll totally accept it. I really believe there is no stopping teenage hormones and really, why would you want to? Wasn't that just the most wonderful time?? I hope my daughters all value themselves and choose to be with boys who respect them - as long as that happens, I am fine with it. Did I make some poor choices as a teen - sure. Did I learn SO MUCH from them - absolutely! If I could go back, there are a couple of decisions I'd make differently but none of them had a serious negative impact on me - they were learning experiences.