Originally Posted by Dar
I think it's interesting how so many people post here about babies who prefer to CIO, who *have* to be alone and cying to fall asleep... and yet during most of human history, this would be a suicidal act for an infant. Rather than believeing that your baby is the exception to eons, it makes more sense to believe that there is an attached way to meet his needs, one that doesn't involve letting him cry alone.
If a baby doesn't want to be touched, don't touch him. Lay him down on the futon next to you (I think having a futon on the floor is a great help for many babies) and *be* with him.
When Rain was a baby I had a childproof bedroom with a futon on the floor, and I would take my shirt off and crash out and doze while she crawled around, explored, nursed, and finally slept. I'd come fully awake if she cried, but generally it worked.
There are certain kinds of touches that feel better to most people with touch issues. Swaddling can be good. Firm, pressure-type touches are better than light, fluttery touches.
Abandoning a baby to cry alone in the dark is damaging. Cortisol levels in the blood go up. The baby's body tells him he's in danger. It's biologically unhealthy (and FWIW, babies crying in arms have totoally different blood chem than babies crying alone). A baby doesn't know you're coming back, all he knows is that he's been abandoned.
Dar, who first argued about this online on the misc.kids newsgroup in 1995...
So I agree that leaving a baby to cry is never AP and there are other options, even for special needs babies. I doubt any baby wants to be left alone to "get over" it, even SID babies can be "helped" through their issues, which is what AP is all about.