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circumcision - Page 2

post #21 of 33
On the heals of Dana... you could also wait a few months & have a Pediatric Surgeon do it & general anesthesia if you still felt strongly about it.
post #22 of 33
I had a terrible time in the beginning trying to convince DH to leave our baby intact if it is a boy. I posted on the circ forum and got so much advice. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=230236
Check it out. It worked for me and my DH. He's now convinced!
post #23 of 33
Our son is not circumcised and but I almost did it. I had a hard time at first but soon realized that there is NEVER a need to do it. It is not my penis and if he wants it done later in life at least he has the option. Not to mention the options of anestesia both during and after the procedure. We have not had any problems ever in his 3.5 years of life. I know that since we kept him whole, the way he was intended to be, that he will be able to make that choice for himself. If it is done without consent then you can never undo it!!!! It is the same with vaccines etc. You have to be strong and do as much research as possible and have your DP do the same. I can't even see the religious aspect of the procedure because Jews have the option of the naming ceremony without the cutting. I will never understand those who do it after doing a FULL research on the subject.
post #24 of 33
Here are my answers to some of the usual questions:

1)how hard is it to take care of an uncir penis?

Extremely easy. I have never had to do ANYTHING with ds' penis. I just bath him (no special care needed in that area) like you would a girl I guess (probably easier as there are no 'nooks and crannies' ).

2)My mother said a 16 yr old boy isn't going to want to take extra care of himself, is it that big of a deal.

It's really no work at all. I takes 2 seconds to pull the foreskin back and wash in the shower. (dh is intact so I know lol)

We also have to pull our labiae apart to wash (parts of genitalia are naturally 'inside' and protected) - it's just as easy for them.

3)Did you ever think of the above question?

yes, but I knew how easy it is because all the men in my family are intact (dh, my brothers, my dad, etc - no one has any problems )

4)Are you worried how he'll feel if he's different then most of the other boys?

no, it's not an issue here in Europe, there are almost no circ'ed boys (except for traditional Jews and Moslems). Here, circ'ed boys are very much in the minority.

5)Please give me just ONE MAIN reason why you choose to make the choice you did. JUST ONE please.

Because I believe that we are born with an amazing, perfect body in which all parts (including the foreskin) are important and have their function(s). As such the foreskin is a vital organ of my son's body. It belongs to him and he was born perfect just the way he is.

(ETA: I had my son in Germany, where infant circumcision does not exist, doctors there will not circ a healthy boy, so it wasn't really an option/ decision to make anyway which I was perfectly happy with.)

The following web sites and books are just a few of the excellent sources for more circumcision information:

A Doctor Re-examines Circumcision by Thomas J. Ritter, M.D. and George C. Denniston, M.D.

What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Circumcision by Paul Fleiss, M.D. and Frederick M. Hodges, D.Phil

Questioning Circumcision - A Jewish Perspective by Ronald Goldman, Ph.D.

Sex As Nature Intended It by Kristen O'Hara with Jeffery O'Hara

post #25 of 33
Here is a link to a thread in the Circumcision forum: http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...d.php?t=248709

Although this thread is by a mom who is asking for ways to talk to her husband about circ (she is anti-, he is pro-), post #19 from e&r is very enlightening.

She is a teacher of small children, and writes of the experience of circed and intact boys at her school. When I read it, I wanted to cry for all of the circed little boys.

The thing about circumcision is this: once your son is circed, he is most likely to stay happy with his circumcision status the less he knows about circumcision. The more he finds out about what he has lost, the more likely he is to be upset about what he has lost (this is one reason, I believe, many circed men become almost frantic in their efforts to avoid reading any of the material their wives give them about circumcision).

But if a little boy is left intact - knowledge is his friend. As e&r points out, if a little boy is aware of the fact that his penis is different from dad's/his friend's because his penis was left alone and their penis had something cut off of it - he is most likely to be extremely grateful to his parents for allowing him to retain all of his genitals.
post #26 of 33
I would never circumcise a daughter. Doesn't a son have the same right to keep all of his parts intact? If he so chooses when he's an adult, he can be circumcised. However, if I were to have him circumcised as a child and he decided later that he would prefer to have a foreskin, he's pretty much out of luck. Yes, there are restoration procedures, but they can never replace everything that is lost with circumcision.

The biggest thing by far, though, is that it isn't my body. Therefore, it's not my decision. It is my responsibility to protect my children, and this includes not having unnecessary surgery done on them.
post #27 of 33
I agree with many of the PP's ...it's not MY body so really it's not my choice. I believe this enough that I havn't even got dd's ears pierced ( even though I think it would be aesthetically appealing and so do the grandma's) because I want it to be her choice made when she is of an age to understand the consequences and the responsibility of choice. I have no right to modify anyones body but my own.

Dh is NOT circed ...and he is by far the cleanest man I have ever known!!! We've had many a discussion on the topic of circumcision though because several of our friends have had or considered having their baby boys circumsized (one couple didn't only because they were told at their birth prep class that the circ rate is only 15% in our city and they wanted their son to fit in). Dh thinks it's a horrible thing to do ...and had it been done to him he definately believes it would have irreparably damaged/impaired his sexuality as the end of his penis is very sensitive and would have been desensitized over time had it been allowed to rub on his clothes throughout his life ... the sad part is he would never have known what he was missing.
post #28 of 33
Originally Posted by Mommiska
The thing about circumcision is this: once your son is circed, he is most likely to stay happy with his circumcision status the less he knows about circumcision. The more he finds out about what he has lost, the more likely he is to be upset about what he has lost (this is one reason, I believe, many circed men become almost frantic in their efforts to avoid reading any of the material their wives give them about circumcision).
I think this is so true! DH and I reached an uneasy truce just before our ultrasound which revealed we were expecting another girl but I felt we had to talk about it beforehand. Dh really really didn't want to do any research. He didn't want to read any research. He wanted to believe there must really be some medical reason to do a circ. Even when I told him the AAP said there were no medical reasons, that no medical association in the world says there are medical reasons he didn't want to hear that. None of pro-circing arguments worked for me. It has no health benefits. It has clear health risks not to mention the detriment to sexual enjoyment. Dh really didn't want to look into it or think about it. He wanted me to just cave in and concede to him because he's a boy and has a penis too. Once I made it clear that I would flat out not give my consent to have this done to any child I had he pretty much stopped fighting it because really he knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. On another board I'm on a woman caved to her DH's wishes and let their DS be circed (supposedly for religious reasons though they're Christians and Paul made it clear on more than one occasion that Christians do not need to be circed). He had some issues with a clot and she says every time she looks at his penis she want to cry because it doesn't look normal. No one warned them this was a possibility. I think people like to think of this as a really safe, really quick not painful procedure and it's none of those things.

Also for the person who said it would hurt a 30 year old more than an infant there have been recent studies that indicate that the opposite is actually true. We are now beginning to believe that infants hurt more than adults do. And purely from an anecdotal standpoint DH and I were discussing our experiences with earpiercing. I had mine done much earlier than he did and I remember that they hurt. He had his done at like 18 and to him he barely remembered any pain at all. Who knows maybe the difference is because a 30 year old is making the choice to be circed and understands what is happening. An infant on the other hand has the compounding factor of having no idea why suddenly this horribly painful thing is being done to him. Ugh it actually makes me want to cry just contemplating what that must be like.
post #29 of 33
My DH has been very reluctant to talk about this, and said more than once that I'm getting my way for financial reasons and that should be enough. THen at our last childbirth class, our instructor told us what happened to her friend's son (three surgeries by the age of 1 to repair urethral damage). DH really seemed to come around to the no-circ side after that, and he saw some pics from some websites.

I agree that the first reaction of a circed dad is often denial. It's gotta be hard to come to terms with.
post #30 of 33
My ds is not circ. There was no question for us. My dh was born in England and was not circ. Then at age 18 he developed an infection in his penis. No one had ever showed him how to clean himself properly since he had moved to America with an American father. The docs convinced my dh that he should be circumcised even though a small dose of antibiotics would have taken care of the problem. Now dh is bitter about his circumcision and mad at the docs who persuaded him into getting circumcised. He said he is much less sensitive now and feels that he was talked into something he did not want. ds is now 3 and we have never had any problems with his uncirced penis. Many of his friends are also uncirced so it is no big deal.
post #31 of 33
Another NICU RN chiming in here. While we don't circ any of our boys in my unit, they do alot of them over on the well baby side. I have had to go over there occasionally and have watched many circs. If you do circ, which honestly I can't think of one good reason to do, please please please don't let any of the residents in the hospital do it. Every time I have seen them do it (they are learning) it takes super long (one took an hour and a half the other day with the guy clamping cutting, shoving, reclamping, reshoving, pushing, cutting, stretching, and so on ad infinitum). Only let someone REALLY experienced touch your son's penis. A urologist or surgeon or something and with good anesthesia. It is brutal how they do circs and especially brutal when it is a resident trying to figure it out. Blech.

Don't do it.

I had my first son circed. We didn't want to do it but after a solid week of both our parents nagging and nagging and crying over it we gave in. I regret it to this day. My youngest is intact and no problems whatsoever. Everyone has already said all the good arguments against it so I won't repeat. One good reason from my experience to leave intact? Because there is no good reason to do it, plain and simple.
post #32 of 33
We've decided not to circ for sure this time. I'm very relieved and happy although I still worry about having one son intact and one not. Hopefully it won't be too much of an issue. My husband objected far less than I thought he would and I'm happy that we'll be dealing with one less medical procedure after the birth.
post #33 of 33
my sons (and my daughters for that matter) are all fully intact the way they came out.. this baby will be as well...
although i need to say I am canadian.. i simply don't have the pressure it seems American's do... it is not still the *norm* here, in fact I know two little boys of ALL the little boys i know who are cut, and it was religous for theri family...
I would go on about it.. but to be honest most the arguments I have read or seen *for* doing it have been addressed...
This *is* a cosmetic procedure...there is no medical reson to perform routine genital alterations..if a parent is comforatable changing theri child to better suit theri personal ideals about what looks better it is thier choice.. that is the culture we live in, it is not easy to go against the grain for all people.. but when it comes to my own children...i made em perfect.
i would no sooner circ a boy than give a baby a nose job..and even more so.. The root chakra in my opinion is very vulnerable at birth.. having what i consider a particularily sacred body part painfully altered to me would be detremental to the well being of the child as a whole...
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