Hi, Adria. Oh, wow...is that question a blast from the past for me!! My oldest dd was the picture of high need. From the moment she was born she was barking orders and giving out commands.
She nursed furiously and for LOOOOOOOOOOOONG sessions. I honestly had days where she nursed almost constantly. She couldn't be put down, had to be in MY arms - Daddy's wouldn't do. She wore me out...and I loved every minute of it.
ONLY because she was my first and only child at the time. When I got pg with #'s 2 and 3 I was SO anxious about one - or both! - of them being HN. Both of my girls turned out to be very "normal" on the neediness range. I say to this day that God gave me my oldest to prepare me for twins. She alone was harder then the two of them put together. I can't help you with suggestions on how to deal with twins when one is HN. I haven't been there. However, do you have the Dr. Sears book? It was so wonderful when I found that book. He also has a web site with lots of info on HN babies on it.http://www.askdrsears.com/html/5/T050100.asp
BabyCenter also has a bulletin board for parents of HN children. I won't post that link because I believe it breaks the rules to do so. I'm sure you could easily find it at their site on your own. When I first went there I met a woman who had boy/girl twins and the girl was VERY HN. I also found that many of the mothers on the HN board there bf'd.
I don't know if any of your other children have been HN. I am truly very happy that my oldest was/is HN. She made me step up to the parenting challenge and made me a much better mother then I would have been had she been a "lump baby".
And even though she is a VERY challenging 4-year-old (although what 4-year-old isn't??), her spirit and life are so amazing!