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Are you a FLYBABY??? Come support each other - Page 2

post #21 of 116
Thread Starter 
I have my kids help with dishes. My 6 yr old usually puts away things and wanted to learn about loading it up, but the wettness shooed him away. LOL
My 2 yr old wants to stand at the sink, so I let him. I clean with baking soda and vinegar, so it's no biggy. And yes sometimes he make a bigger mess than what I'm cleaning, but you know what? He is only 2 once and the mess cleans up with towels!!!

Not to be flaming -- just to help, keep reading...
Stop "blaming" your children for you not getting what needs to be done, done. It's too easy to say, oh I can't do that b/c he throws a fit -- Children need to be involved and need to be taught that when it's time to load the dishwasher it is time to do that and fits are not to be tolerated. My children get sit out time if something is just throwing them off and creating a "fit". Fit throwing has never been tolerated in our house, my dh would have a cow!!!

And yes I have said many times "I can't or couldn't get such and such done b/c so and so would not let me." For which my dh replies, "who is the adult?" And I realized that it's my laziness (even laziness not to have to deal with a fit or two), not my breastfeeding, or caring for my children, or having to fix breakfast, snacks, lunch, snacks etc. Or the children throwing more toys on the floor than I can pick up in 15 minutes, it's ME all ME. I am responsible for our house being in CHAOS and only I can fix that. I am the home maker and I need to get our house into working order, if the mail had a place it wouldn't get pilled on our dining room table, if the laundry had a set place to be put, it wouldn't be pilled in the hall, in the bathroom, in our bedroom, and by the downstairs door.

I can look around my house and say I am responsible for this mess and I am taking responsibility to get out of the mess!!! It is soooo slow, I tell ya. I've yet to get to my zone today. I did clean the bathroom and the kitchen that I had put off for 2 days!!! 2 shiny sink!!!

Next I'm going to have my ds2 help pick up the toys in the living room before dd wakes up to be nursed and fed.

I will get to the dining room table before dinner, we haven't been able to eat there for a while -- to much crap on it.

My mentoring mom may not be making it today, it is snowing like mad. It is so pretty to just sit and watch!!!
post #22 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electra375
Stop "blaming" your children for you not getting what needs to be done, done. It's too easy to say, oh I can't do that b/c he throws a fit -- Children need to be involved and need to be taught that when it's time to load the dishwasher it is time to do that and fits are not to be tolerated. My children get sit out time if something is just throwing them off and creating a "fit". Fit throwing has never been tolerated in our house, my dh would have a cow!!!

And yes I have said many times "I can't or couldn't get such and such done b/c so and so would not let me." For which my dh replies, "who is the adult?" And I realized that it's my laziness (even laziness not to have to deal with a fit or two), not my breastfeeding, or caring for my children, or having to fix breakfast, snacks, lunch, snacks etc. Or the children throwing more toys on the floor than I can pick up in 15 minutes, it's ME all ME. I am responsible for our house being in CHAOS and only I can fix that. I am the home maker and I need to get our house into working order, if the mail had a place it wouldn't get pilled on our dining room table, if the laundry had a set place to be put, it wouldn't be pilled in the hall, in the bathroom, in our bedroom, and by the downstairs door.



This is what I had to realize about myself. It's easy to make excuses and blame the kids, or just excuse it as putting your kids first. We're still putting our kids first by teaching them that their are boundaries, things that need to be done, and that Mom needs her space as well.
post #23 of 116
Thread Starter 
Shantimama -- my kitchen sink is not new or shiny, the faucet leaks and has mineral deposits on it from 30 years that are not coming off. We used the sink for cleaning paint brushes and rollers, the paint has slowly worn away over the last 6 years. I honestly didn't know how baddly the faucet leaked until I "shined" my sink and now since I clean out underneath the sink, I have realized a bigger problem exisit there -- wet everywhere, damaging our ugly paper board cheap '80s upgrade cabinets. We bought a fixer upper 6 years ago and have yet to do the kitchen. So, I'll do the best I can with what I've got. It is scratched, but it is clean. I didn't take out the polish or olive oil, I just did the best I could with baking soda, detergent and vinager. It looks nice and even if it isn't perfect, it still shows pride in ownership.

DH has to replace that faucet this weekend. The water is damaging the structure of the cabinet and who knows how damaged the wood floor is underneath the cabinet.
post #24 of 116
Just moved this thread to Decluttering, Organizing & Simplifying... sorry I didn't get to it sooner, was on hiatus.
post #25 of 116

I try to fly

I try to fly!!!
I have been trying to fly for a while too... somethings really really help! I love love the flylady! Whats this about her going commercial? I better check this out..
Keep going ladies, everyday is a new day!
post #26 of 116
I've been working on "flying" since the Fall. Some things that I have found that make being a "flying AP mommy" easier.

* Remember that Flylady does not have kids. You need to modify her suggestions to work in a family setting. Many of her ideas are downright unsafe for a household with toddlers (e.g. leaving cleaning chemicals accessible or, unless locked, leaving breakable dishes under the sink).
* Ignore ALL of her parenting advise. She is not AP and makes many suggestions that are anti-AP. But her cleaning philosophy is worth weeding this stuff out. Just know ahead of time that you are going to want to.
* Change the email settings in Yahoo so you only get one email a day. OK, maybe this is more of a personal preference than a mommy one, but I found the whole deal much, much easier once I did this.
* Take to heart the idea of doing things a little at a time and making slow changes. Jump into AP parenting with both feet, but not Flying. Take that slow, steady, and one step at a time. And make sure they are baby steps at that.
* Remember that her routines are suggestions and feel free to modify as needed. Figure out the underlying philosophy and follow that, but do not get caught up in following her routines to the letter, you will drive yourself and your kids nuts.

With these ideas in my head, I have found that I can work with her system without compromising my parenting priorities.
post #27 of 116

So glad I found this thread!

I've been looking for a place to discuss flylady that is a little more AP/alternative than the mainstream flylady boards. I have been subscribing to Flylady on and off for the past two years. I found her just before my DS was born. Following her system really helped me to declutter my home and get ready for the baby. A year later, it helped me to get ready for our move to our new home. We still had a lot of junk but way less than before.

The morning and evening routines are absolute saviors for me. They have become automatic. The main living areas always look pretty clean due to the routines. Even if they are not dusted, surfaces are clear and I never let the junk build up. It takes me about 5-10 min. to put out the hotspots when DS goes down for a nap.

I used to have a problem with my DS trying to get into the dishwasher, but with patient reminders from me and good old time and maturity he now leaves me alone to do it! He knows that momma has to put the dirty ones in. He does help me to empty it and does a pretty good job for a two year old! I remove all the sharp stuff first and then he takes out plates, bowls, etc. and gets his own stepstool to take cups out of the top. I agree, there is a difference between involving your kids, accomdating them, and getting all off track to avoid a tantrum for something that they should probably be able to get used to.

From time to time the email reminders do drive me crazy. Mostly I delete a lot of them these days. I read the title, esp. the missions and any other ones that might be informative...the ones like "shine your sink" I delete immediately. I will confess that I don't shine my sink everyday. I wash it if it is dirty or if I have been preparing raw meat or something. I certainly don't bother wasting olive oil on my sink!!!! I would say I modify flylady a great deal for me. If it works and seems important to me, I use it. If not, I ignore it. I do what I feel needs to be done for MY house, not hers. As a PP pointed out, she doesn't have any children at home, so her life is a bit simpler that way. She also has a neatnik husband by the sounds of it. And I don't think she has two large, furry dogs!

I guess my "shiny sink" is the countertops....I like to have them clean and cleared off. If that is done I feel better. Ditto for making the bed.

I don't declutter everyday, although I should as I am 5 months preg. and have a spare room/office to clear out! I have been using my timer more often though and it does help me to stay focused and get it done. I can go declutter when I know I can stop when the timer goes off.

As for those who have trouble with the cleaning, esp. when it comes to toys: this is where decluttering saves you. If there are so many toys that you take so long to put them away you don't have time to vaccum, there are too many toys. Put some in storage and rotate, or give them away. I bought 5 large rubbermaid bins and rotate them every couple of weeks. Otherwise the family room would be overloaded, and DS ingores them when there are too many toys, anyway.

I look forward to reading and sharing more info with you guys. You have no idea how long I have been searching for a board like this!
post #28 of 116
Tammie did FlyLady for awhile. Talk to her.
post #29 of 116

Who's Tammie?

Just wondering.
post #30 of 116
Whew, haven't checked this thread for a couple days, you guys are growing Still FLYing pretty consistently here. I love how the more I'm FLYing, the more my apt. seems to clean itself
As far as babes and FLYing... GET A SLING!!! I have a VERY high needs 9mo old. DS will NOT let me put him down for anything, and if I do, I better be sitting right next to him so he can climb in my lap. BUT, I do NOT let this stop me. For me, my Kozy Carrier (it's a mei tei) was my saving grace. I out DS in the Tibetan carry (on my back) and off I go. I do my Weekly Home Blessing hour like this, I vacuum like this, laundry, dishes, you name- he's with me. Not only is it meeting his need to be "connected", BUT, I'm teaching him routines. I'm teaching him how to clean up after himself. I'm teaching him LOTS of stuff while wearing him and cleaning.

BTW~ FLYlady does have a kids, I think . BUT, they're grown now if I remember correctly.

Like pp have mentioned... you don't have to follow FLYLady strictly. Heck, I have a totally different basic weekly plan than FLYLady, but it's what works for me. Take her cpncepts and make them fit your life. For instance, I can't wear shoes in the house. DS is INSISTENT on eating shoes right now. So, I don't have them on. BUT, I don't let that keep me from getting the rest of me up and dressed for the day. Don't let it become something that consumes you, then it's just like your clutter
post #31 of 116
I'm a fellow Flybaby here, trying to spread my wings and get off the ground since the beginning of the year (I tried Flylady last year, but gave up..I thought it'd be a nice New Year's resolution instead). I live in SW Germany, where I have found it hard not to compare my living space with the perfectionist, cleaning goddesses I know here.
I don't have the energy to do all the tasks sent in the e-mail (I get a daily digest), but I am working on establishing a morning or evening routine, and keeping on it without getting sidetracked.
My biggest challenge is organisation. We've got papers galore, just waiting to be organised!
Does anyone who read the Flylady book (or read the website more closely than I did) have any suggestions for organising papers, etc.? We've bought plastic filing trays, but I'm having trouble thinking of names for each tray. Does Flylady have anything to say about this? Just wondering.

I enjoy flylady, but try to ignore any product promotions I might read in the e-mails, and don't listen to any advice she may give that isn't compatible with my AP style.

Well, I'd better start my evening routine and shine the sink!

Holly, mama to Catarina (20.07.03)

PS I notice that you've all got nice 'signatures'. How do I go about doing this? I'm new at this discussion board thing, and don't want to have to look up the smilies everytime I post something.
post #32 of 116

welcome hollycrand!

To make a signature, just go to user cp, then edit signature.

nak

chapter 13 of sink reflections, her book is dedicated to paper clutter and how to organize. check your library, or LLL for the book. filing cabinets and labeled filing folders is how i keep it all under control.
post #33 of 116
Thread Starter 
Just thought I'd tell the world -- I got a brand new shiny kitchen sink faucet with sprayer!!!!

If only we had a video camera runny while my dh and I did this job!!! He replaced the shut off valves (one side didn't even have one). Then dh asked me to watch under the sink while he turned the main water back on -- do you know where this is going? He turned the water on and I started screaming turn it off. He came up stairs laughing and saying "I forgot to turn the valves off, didn't I?" I'm dripping wet, there is water on the ceiling and running out from under the sink. Ya think dear? :LOL

But I have a sprayer again, the old one has been broken since we moved in 6 years ago.
post #34 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electra375
Just thought I'd tell the world -- I got a brand new shiny kitchen sink faucet with sprayer!!!!

Yeah!!!!!!!!! Feels good doesn't it?
post #35 of 116
Thread Starter 
I checked our local library for her book -- not there
I don't want to spend the $$ on it. And LLL -- don't even get me started there. I've been a leader applicant for 3 years last month and getting the hire ups to do something has been a nightmare -- no LLL groups within 45 miles of here!
Anyway, haven't read the book, but I found if you go to the "site map" of the website you can find a lot of things that just are not accessible on the front page.
post #36 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by Electra375
Not to be flaming -- just to help, keep reading...
Stop "blaming" your children for you not getting what needs to be done, done. It's too easy to say, oh I can't do that b/c he throws a fit -- Children need to be involved and need to be taught that when it's time to load the dishwasher it is time to do that and fits are not to be tolerated. My children get sit out time if something is just throwing them off and creating a "fit". Fit throwing has never been tolerated in our house, my dh would have a cow!!!

And yes I have said many times "I can't or couldn't get such and such done b/c so and so would not let me." For which my dh replies, "who is the adult?" And I realized that it's my laziness (even laziness not to have to deal with a fit or two), not my breastfeeding, or caring for my children, or having to fix breakfast, snacks, lunch, snacks etc. Or the children throwing more toys on the floor than I can pick up in 15 minutes, it's ME all ME. I am responsible for our house being in CHAOS and only I can fix that. I am the home maker and I need to get our house into working order, if the mail had a place it wouldn't get pilled on our dining room table, if the laundry had a set place to be put, it wouldn't be pilled in the hall, in the bathroom, in our bedroom, and by the downstairs door.
I just wanted to reply to that since I think it may have been directed to me. First thanks for the suggestions. I will definatley take them into consideration. I have alot going on right now so I wasn't able to reply sooner. This past week has been full of some ups and downs for us, with my husband coming home after being gone for a month to dealing with the ever-so-non helpful military health insurance company. We are in the midst of having our little middle (the fit thrower) evaulated for SID and autism.

I really just wanted to say that I was trying to keep the conversation light while expressing a few of my frustrations. The dishwasher thing isn't something I "blame" my son for. I think that the noise really bothers him (part of the sensory issues) so he doesn't want it to run, and I really don't mind waiting to run it when he is sleeping. What I was really just asking for were more along the lines of tips to motivate myself to want to do it. Of course I do it, I just don't like to. I am just so tired by 9pm that I have fallen asleep at the sink before! I joined Flylady hoping to get a better time management plan. Some of it seems to be working well. Like getting dressed to the shoes! That is great and saves a ton of time. I just get up at 5am instead of 6 when the babies get up and I get dressed. That way I don't have to plan getting dressed when they are eating breakfast. Some of the Flylady routines don't work in my home however. I wait till the kiddos go to sleep before I finish the housework for the day. My 6 yearold helps with keeping all the toys picked up through out the day and he tidys up between his homeschool and activies. He also love to help with the laundry. My 15 month old helps me sweep with the broom and bake all of our bread. He loves the flour and dough, I think that is also a sensory thing for him. They are definately involved. I just wait to do the dishes and now the vacuuming (since the vacuum cleaner sent him into a major meltdown this week) till they are asleep.

Next time I will definately try to use better language when I post and include more of the relavant info. Again I DO appriecate the feedback, I just think maybe my situtation is a bit different than interperted.
post #37 of 116
Thread Starter 
Poppyqwn -- thanks for adding some light on the situation, I fully understand the sensory issues and that autistic children are different. They do require special attention to their needs.

And as I said I wasn't flamming anyone, I just know I'm not the only one out there that has said to my dh "I couldn't get this done, b/c so and so was doing ____." And I wanted to share my brassy thoughts on it.
post #38 of 116
:
post #39 of 116
Hi there! Can I come play??

I had no clue about Flylady about a week ago until I found this thread--now I'm totally into it!! I've looked over the site, and I got her book too and am reading it. So far, so good! The part about perfectionism really hit home--that has always been one of my major problems. Perfectionism really does result in me getting overwhelmed and being paralyzed.

I'm working on establishing some more effective routines. Things have been a little crazy, because my dad is visiting from out of state and so that's throwing all of my regular activities off. However, the good thing is that he is rather handy, and so he is both helping to do a ton of little maintenance, repair, and improvement things around the house, and teaching my DH how to do them too!! So that is improving things around here.

We have been decluttering anyway for a while, but now we're really picking up the pace!! Most of the house is at least 60% decluttered anyway, but now I'm really getting brutal about getting rid of anything that I don't like or need. And DH has gotten really on board, so that is helping a lot. Today he actually told me that I should go on her site and add our shiny sink to the total!! :LOL Our exchange student daughter is getting into it too, so it's fun! I like the concept of the "27 fling boogie", in that instead of trying to organize everything you're just getting rid of crap to start out with!!

Anyway, I need to get off of here and get to bed!! But thanks ladies for turning me on to Flylady!!
post #40 of 116
Thread Starter 
Well, tomorrow is a new week and a new zone. My kitchen was in pretty good shape so I've had a slacker of a week and being only my 2nd week full week, it has made me a bit lazy.

I don't do my blessing my home in one day, I can not. Since the majority was done on Saturday, I'll finish up with sheets tomorrow. I need to make myself go to the store as well. I'd like to fix my dh favorite dish for tomorrow. BTW - I really hate going to the store, it's slways crowded.

Here's to a new week and a Happy Red Heart Day to you all -- do something special for the ones you love
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