Introducing the new baby to siblings

[mellie-bellie]

Hey mamas,

I'm just curious how all of you introduced your newborn to the other siblings? Were they at the homebirth? Did you do anything special?

I have a 22mo who is still nursing (pretty close to weaning though). We are having a homebirth. As of right now, I'm not sure how it'll be having him in the room while I'm in labor (guess it depends on the time of day and my mood and ultimately HIS mood). He's a very active toddler, so I don't think he'll just sit around quietly, in fact I'm not even expecting that. Dh plans to be with him the whole time, even if it means taking him out of the room I'm laboring in. As of right now, if they aren't in the room when the baby is born, I'll probably get them to come back in once the placenta is delievered and everything is cleaned up (I want dh to cut the cord).

Anyways, I just wanted to know how all of your children were during the birth and/or upon meeting the new baby for the first time. Also it'd be great to hear from other mama's who have had nursing toddlers at the time of birth. TIA!

[motherdownunder]

Hi,
My dh took care of ds #1 (3 1/2) all during the labour, then woke him up for the birth, and he sat on the floor and watched. He really insisted that he wanted to see it, but he's older than your first one. Anyway, he had already gone back to bed by the time the placenta was delivered so I just wanted to say that maybe keeping them out until the placenta comes and everything is cleaned up may not be the best idea (I know people that took 3 or more hours for the placenta). Our 2 boys absolutely LOVE each other and there's never been any jealousy or wanting to hurt the baby. Who knows if that has anything to do with being there, or just having a lovely AP start for 3 1/2 years?

[NancyCNM]

My kids were there for the birth of some of their siblings. We talked about it before hand and they had seen videos of childbirth- including their own. We are now expecting another sibling in April and at least the younger ones want to be therefor the birth. I don't think my almost 15 y/o son has decided yet- he's a bit embarrassed by the thought of it right now...

They were all born in the hospital- birth center or LDR's.

[Irishmommy]

Dd1 (almost 6 then) was at the homebirth of her sister. My sister was here too and was in charge of dd1. She (my sis) was only 15 and got to watch her new niece being born and nursed, so hopefully she will realize how normal it all is.

Okay, the question was about baby's siblings, not mom's! Dd1 saw the birth, and got to be the first to find out if she had a sister or brother. The placenta delivery didn't bother her. I'm pretty sure she never even noticed - why would she, she had her longed for sister to focus on! Definitely a positive experience, and if we ever have a 3rd, I would want dds to be there.

[Iguanavere]

I'm due with #2 in November and DS will be 2.5 then.

We are having a homebirth and I'm planning letting ds be at the birth if he wants. If he's asleep, I don't know if we'll wake him up of not. I'm hoping that I labor through the night while he's asleep, because we are going to be short of hands - DH will be working most likely and could sleep with him.

I think as we get closer to the birth I'll show him more videos of babies being born - he love The Baby Story on TLC and when the baby comes out, so I'm not to worried about him. I've heard conflicting info about having a small child at labor and how it may be confusing, but ultimately I'd rather have him close by to help welcome the new baby.

If I'm laboring during the day, I'm going to ask friends with same age children to come over and help with ds, so my doula and I can work through labor.

Good luck!

[olymom]

Just 3 weeks ago, dd#2 was born at home (whew it was amazing and another story for another place) while her sister who is 20 months slept next door. We had intended for her to be there if she wanted and had asked a close friend to be with her through the experience no matter what she wanted. During labor I was in a tub and she wanted to come in- at first this was a great idea but she was all about bobbing up and down- and during a contraction is not the best time to be trying to surface your plunging toddler. I wanted it to be this zen experience between the two of us- but she wanted to play so she had to go!
Our friend who was there for her worked so hard getting her to sleep since she couldn't nurse to bed that I would have never dreamed of waking her up the 30 min later when her sister arrived. Meeting the next morning was still more than she could take in but at least she got to cuddle up with me to meet her sister and could see that we were all ok.

I am so glad we had such a great friend to hang with my daughter during labor because I really needed my dh with me and if he had had to drive my daughter around to get her to sleep he would have missed his second daughter's birth! As it was, everybody got what they needed even if it wasn't what we had in mind. That's the amazing thing about birth, the unknown is often so much better than the expected! All is well now- adjusting to tandem nursing and life with a new family member!