Think Homeschooling is "BEST" but still send kids to school?

[TiredX2]

Anyone in this situation?

Why?

How did you come to your decision?

How do you feel about it?

What were your concerns?

Is "school" as "bad" as I fear?

[Elphaba]

...

[lauren]

I initially thought we'd homeschool. My two sisters had homeschooled their children and had been telling me success stories for years. I also got to watch them and their children for years before having my own. When ds came along, he had a very intense temperament. Of course I love him like crazy, but I knew if we were together all day, it wouldn't be this sweet little homeschool idea that was going on, it would be power struggles. When my dd came along when he was 3, he really needed an 'outlet' --somewhere he could go for stimulation and to be with friends, so we began this very cool preschool in our town. He loved it and he was getting an experience I knew I couldn't provide, and one that play group was not simulating either (and we went to playgroup evey week). OUr decision to public school continued to flow out of this. Though he was/is a challenging child, we found our schools up to the task of inspiring his very curious mind. He has had some rough moments when teachers didn't support his activity level or his style of learning, and then we advocate. But we have found our local schools to be very good. Now dd is in school too, and she is thriving. For us, school was not as bad as we feared.

One more thing-- in our area many of the homeschoolers do so for conservative Christian reasons. I would not fit into that community. The nearest like-minded homeschoolers are 45 minutes away. I wouldn't be able to do it without a strong support network (for myself and kids) and that is not available within close range.

My worries will begin at the Junior HIgh level, when peer stuff begins to be #1. During those years we could end up homeschooling if things get too intense at school.

Good questions!

[mamaduck]

I guess maybe I sort of fit this. Kinda. I was homeschooled, and am supportive and I am still involved with the homeschooling community. But I do send my kids to school.

My reasons are 1) my mom was not patient with us and I'm afraid of heading down that same road, 2) my oldest is frighteningly brilliant and I'm afraid of failing him academically, and 3) I'm not disciplined or outgoing enough to successfully provide the social comradery that my kids crave and need.

The little one goes to a montessori preschool (9 hours a week over 3 days) and my oldest goes to a really incredible alternative co-op school. This school has been a good influence on our whole family -- very much a community for us. And I cannot describe how happy our kids are with their schools. There has not been even one issue that I've had to bring up with the staff. Which is rare for me when it comes to other people looking after my kids!

If for some reason there were no longer schools available to us with philosophies that parallel our own -- then I would likely homeschool before I would send them to public school. At least in our district. I see what the kids around here encounter at school on a daily basis, and I don't think I'd have the strength to fight and advocate for my kids to the extent that I would need to.

But I'm pretty happy with the choices we have made. I feel like we are homeschooling them at school, if that makes any sense. My oldest has had the same teacher for 3 years and at this point, we practically think of him as a co-parent. Very much a mentor. I'm pleased with the large circle of loving committed adults who are active in my children's lives. They are loved and supported from every side wherever they are.

[meowee]

probably not the answer you're looking for, but if there were a school 1) close to me 2) with very small classes 3) that we could afford, I would probably send my kids there, even though I do feel homeschooling is "best." It's such a huge amount of pressure to homeschool, even with a laid-back approach. And also to never be away from your kids--- ahhhh!---- sometimes it's pretty tough. Of course I love them but I desire a few seconds of privacy now and then, too.

[Katana]

I couldn't imagine not homeschooling. I researched and had everything I could find about unschooling all neatly organized and ready by the time ds was 3.

Then there was ds. I'm like Lauren. If ds were to be here all day, we'd both be in straight jackets and with our hair standing on end. He is highly active, highly energetic and is way too much for me to handle, most of the time. Plus, he doesn't learn well from me, which was a huge issue.

Ds is also way too smart for me. Especially with math and science, two subjects I loathe. I'm just afraid I don't have the interest or talent to keep him challenged in those areas. I mean, he's 5 and already all into long division and I'm sitting here cringing, because it's bringing up my math challenges.

He also needs the structure and organization of his class environment. He's absolutely thriving. He loves school. He cried when he had to leave the one day because he was sick.

I hold out a hope for dd, but she is our social butterfly. I never thought I'd be thinking this, let alone writing it, but I really think there's a possibility she'll be going to Jr. kindergarten for three days next fall. Her b-day falls after the deadline for K, but she's more than ready to go somewhere and be with other kids. She tells me all the time that she's bored, and wants to go be where ds is, and that she wants to go to school. I remember how much I was like that, when my older brother went to school and I couldn't.

I too, look to jr. high as a time for re-evalutaion. Our jr. highs right now are overcrowded, as they turned one of them into an all year school and so the whole city is stuffed into two schools right now. Plus, I keep hearing how damaging and dysfunctional jr. high is, so I worry a little.

I also figure the glow of school might have worn off by then, and they might be ready to take a year or two off from it. But who knows.

As far as grammar school goes, I really have no complaints.

[Emzachsmama]

I am in this situation.

I LOVED homeschooling...I started last September with my dd doing grade 5 work and my ds doing kinder. I loved every minute of it. BUT...my kids wanted to go back to school I am very sad about that but they are very happy and that is what is important. I am very lucky in that the school they go to is VERY good. They have made lots of friends and are having a blast.

That being said, if I thought that them going to school was a very bad thing ~ in terms of major bullying or extreme problems with teachers ~ I would pull them back out again in a minute and not think twice about it. I do keep hoping they will change their minds during the summer and we will be back to homeschooling again next year.

I don't that that school in general is 'bad'...a lot depends on the school. I know that the schoo my dd went to last wasn't very good. She was very far behind in math...certainly not where she should have been. She has only been in this school for a month and she is almost caught up to the rest of the kids in math. So I am very lucky. My dd's teacher this year used to homeschool her dd so she understood my concerns and helped my dd to adjust to being back in a 'normal' classroom setting. My ds's kinder class only has 16 kids in it so it is nice that he has such a small group considering this is his first time being in school so he has adjusted very well.

We had a LOT of pressure from family members about homeschooling ~ which didn't bother me at all but it was very hard on my dh. It was HIS family that was giving us grief about it. He is very close with his family so it was hard for him to be doing something that they didn't agree with. I will give him a lot of credit though...he ALWAYS backed me up when his parents (particularly father) would bring it up. That was very nice. But in private, his father's criticism of it would make dh doubt his own feeling about it. So having the kids back in school has made life much less stressful for dh which is a good thing as well. On the other hand he would completely support me if I decided that the kids needed to come back home. So I guess we just take it day by day around here. The kids enjoy themselves at school and I keep hoping they will want to come back home.

[Cloverlove]

This descibes our situation.

The problem for us is balance. I know I am not cut-out for full-time homeschooling. Dh and the kids are, however. Unfortunately, dh's earning potential is about 3x greater than mine, so he needs to work. Ideally, we could both work pt & homeschool pt, but we haven't been fortunate enough to find flexible schedules.

Right now ds is in 1st grade in public school. It is an International School and I love how he is being exposed to so many different cultures and ideas- he is even taking Chinese. He is learning, but I can't say he is thriving. He, like most other children, does a lot better in a "hands-on" environment and loves doing projects. Given this, we do quite a bit of supplementing at home- lots of science and art/builing projects.

He teacher is awesome. But I often feel guilty because I see how ds benefits from priveledge. He is smart and cute and often gets special opportunities (ie: last week it was private instruction with the computer teacher). It is great for him, but I still have problems with it on some level.

Most likely we will put both ds and dd in Montessori in the fall. I don't know if this is the answer b/c still, in my heart, I feel homeschooling is best. I really wish I had it in me.

[Itlbokay]

I threaten to homeschool every year. My boys are in 1st and 4th grade and they ask often to be homeschooled. DH says it's because they here me ranting about school issues too often. I want to homeschool because there are no accelerated classes in our public school system until the 8th grade, and that's just a one day a week pull out program. My boys are underchallenged at school, to say the least.

Why did I originally send them to public school? Several reasons, can't afford private, and all the private schools in our area are like at least 30 minutes away anyway. Peer pressure, I live in a really small area...everyone knows everyone and I was afraid my kids self esteem would be somehow affected if I homeschooled (I know, it was wrong, I'm trying to be honest though). I guess I was also afraid people would think I was "weird" too. I think the past few years I've educated myself more and am more confident in many areas and those reasons are no longer valid.

Now I know better and I really want to give homeschooling a shot. If I don't get frustrated enough to do it before the end of this school year, I'm going to unenroll them from the public school this summer and register as a homeschool. I have been making every effort to have the school meet my children's needs before I do so, so as to show DH this has been a well educated decision.

Public school in our area is not as bad as I thought it would be, I don't know about yours. I can find many positives about our elementary school. As for middle school my friends husband is the vice principal there and he assures me it's a great place. Surpisingly enough though my biggest issue so far is that my children are bored, I hate to see that. Now that my oldest is in 4th grade I am starting to see things I don't like. Kids do get meaner at this age and can be more of a disruption.

You could go into your local elementary school for a morning of observation, to check it out for your children. I can think of no reason why they would tell you that you could not.

[Leatherette]

I think homeschooling is a great option. It is not my first choice due to some of the reasons moms pointed out above, but it remains within my range of options for my kids. In terms of having control over all inputs your child recieves, yes, homeschooling is best.

My son is very social, loves preschool. He does not want to be home(or out) with me all of the time. He will go to Kindergarten next year. If I am wrong about my son, he can be homeschooled.

My daughter claws at the gate when I take my son to preschool (she's 15 months). So we may have another school-liking kid on our hands.

I am a teacher by trade, plan to volunteer in the school, and feel that I know what a teacher is doing and whether she is good by meeting her and looking around her room. I think there are so many wonderful teachers out there (though perhaps working within a flawed system, like I was) who can really do a better job than me, especially with little little kids. I was a special education teacher who focused on kids with behavioral disabilities, and while some of them were really young, it was quite a different experience than teaching general kindergarten.

And we are vegetarian, atheist, and don't watch much tv (no commercial TV), and yes, I would love to be there all of the time to see that my values were always reflected, but I am not sure it would be best for me or my son. So, we're going to try school.

I also support the democratic ideals behind free public education, but realize that in many ways, they do remain ideals, not quite in the reality zone yet....

But if it doesn't work and I feel that I can do a better job, I will homeschool.

L.

[mommybritt]

Thank you for this thread! This totally describes me For us, DD#1 (almost 4) is in preschool and loving it. We started her in preschool when I was pregnant with my twins and before I'd even considered homeschooling. We've continued because she loves it so much and because I like having some time with just my babies.

Dh is not opposed to homeschooling but it's not his first choice either. I am very opposed to sending her to our local public school and we can't afford to send her to Montessori, etc. So, for next year, we're trying to get her into the public alternative school here and see how that goes. It's a compromise that dh and I have come up with. While I hope it goes well and I do have a good feeling about this school, I hope that she'll eventually want to come home and am hoping that it'll happen by the jr high years.

[Lli]

I envy my homeschooling/unschooling friends, but know that with no regular time alone, I'd be a stressed and impatient teacher...or I'd wind up letting the tv and computer act as a babysitter.

I love the fact that dd's school is three blocks away. There are a lot of good programs in the school, and their funding is fortunately less precarious than a lot of public schools (for now). The teachers have been fairly good (we miss her 2nd grade teacher, though), and it is possible to get involved if one is persistent. She likes being around other kids, but doesn't come home insisting I buy the same things her friends have (yet).

I hate- the very limited time outside, the tests tests tests, the low priority on foreign languages, the early start time, the mandated, overscheduled curricula, the overall lack of communication with parents (unless the parents make a point of pestering the school for info, like me)

In my perfect world I could take her out for regular "homeschooling days"- like field trips or hikes- and coordinate that with what she's focusing on in school. There would be more recognition and support of parents as teachers. Not sure how a large city school district would implement that kind of thing, but I can dream.

[Itlbokay]

Love that idea Lli

[Mary]

I think I fall into this category. I feel like homeschooling can be the ideal learning situation, but the reality might not be ideal. My problem is, my husband is not on board. Our agreement is that we give school a chance and if I have any major problems then I will pull my son out in a NY minute.

We are fortunate that my in-laws are completely willing to fund private schooling for my kids. This means that I can be choosey about what school my kids attend and I can have a bigger influence on their school life.

My oldest is in a private montessori catholic school and he loves it. If he hated it I would certainly not make him go.

It helps me to know that lots of kids come out of schooling with a great education. I'm just mostly concerned about social dynamics and the large influence that kids have on each other in a school situation. For me, school quit being about learning in about the 5th grade until I graduated. I don't want that for my children. It makes me feel better to know that when my kids are not in school they are essentially homeschooled as well. They have a natural thirst for knowledge and I do whatever I can to quench it!

[my2girlsmama]

My views

Anyone in this situation?

Well, when my now oldest was a babe I considered homeschooling. I did for her preschool stuff, madeo ut plans etc and did my best. The result is a 5 year old who started reading at 4 yrs old, and now is fluent in reading. She is confident, and knows her quirks and fears are all normal and that mommy will always support her, even when the system will not. I decided to send to school, as that is the norm to me and around us, and for socialization AND more importantly the fact I could not see myself doing it day in day out. Not effectively.

Why?

Why I chose to NOT homeschool. As mentioned above purely for the fact I think the school system here (Catholic) is a good one so long as we parents remain vigilant in the child's progress and all aspects of her schooling...as well as still teach at home , which we do, as wellas the fact I could not see myself doing it.

How did you come to your decision?

Dh and I just agreed on it as a basic thing in our family.

How do you feel about it?

Happy. We remain on top of things where her schooling is concerned and refuse to let anyone push us around...we are very involved.

What were your concerns?

Bullying, bad teachers, being TOLD what to do when having a child in the system. We've already overcome the bad teachers/principals thing by switching schools once.

Is "school" as "bad" as I fear

In my opinion, not at all. So long as you are on top of it all daily, ask alot of questions, insist upon certain things and advocate for your child you will be fine.

[A&A]

Dh and I both work and we want dd to have the socialization, but we teach her a lot at home, so I guess we're doing BOTH public school and homeschool.

As both a teacher and a mother, I can tell you that school is for the masses, not for the individuals. Make sense? Public schools (and private schools, for that matter), tend to do a good job of teaching a medium amount of stuff to a large amount of students. That's it.

[love2all]

I did hs until my oldest was 7.5- then she wanted to go to school. I firmly belive in unschooling- allowing her to follow her own educational route (until something provesan unwise choice) sooooooooo away she went to school- SHE LOVES IT!!!! what can i say? she goes to an excellent public charter school and although i hate the time constraints on my family- 2 of my kids go there now and we are all content. i think you gotta be picky though and find a school to fit your family..

[applejuice]

I sent my DD to school and then homeschooled her for a year (2nd); I got her up to speed, but she was difficult to deal with and work with and DH want ed me to return to work. I regret this decision.

I had many problems with DD throughout secondary school. I even went to school with her, taking time off my day job, and giving up sleep so I could keep my night job.

My two DSs followed. DS1 had many learning problems and refused to do homework. DS2 learned like a sponge. I decided to homeschool DS3 who did very well with all of the stimulation of having his poppy at home and his big sister and two big brothers. I homeschooled him until DH died, and he started school in sixth grade, at the private school I teach in. It is very convenient for me, and I will have to think about what to do when he graduates from eighth grade.


And the answer to your last question is, "YES". School is bad, the "socialization" is bad, curriculum is bad, and often the facilities are bad. Homeschooling is the best.

[AnnMarie]

That would be me. I homeschooled as long as I could, then I got too sick and had no choice but to send them to public school. I HATE public school, at least the one my kids are in. I wish I could pull them out and homeschool again, but I can't. My daughter is always asking me when I can homeschool again, but I'm afraid the answer is never. So yes, IMO, PS is as bad as you think it is.

[thoesly]

Originally Posted by TiredX2

Is "school" as "bad" as I fear?(

The best thing you can do is check out the specific school where your child will attend. Every school is different. I am very happy with the elementary school my son attends, but I would be very unhappy with a few other schools in the district.

When I was pregnant with my first, I always thought I would homeschool. Turns out that homeschooling would not be good for the kids I have (as opposed to the kids I imagined I'd have) -- for a lot of reasons. If something changes, I will rethink my decision. "Best" is only "best" if it is "best" for that specific child. I would never sacrifice my child's best interest for the sake of my ideals.