Think Homeschooling is "BEST" but still send kids to school? - Page 2

[momtokay]

Originally Posted by thoesly

Turns out that homeschooling would not be good for the kids I have (as opposed to the kids I imagined I'd have) -- for a lot of reasons. If something changes, I will rethink my decision. "Best" is only "best" if it is "best" for that specific child. I would never sacrifice my child's best interest for the sake of my ideals.

This is how I feel about my oldest. She is so happy when she's surrounded by other kids. Also, her and my personalities clash in a couple of very important ways that lead me to believe that school outside the home my be best for her. First off she needs way more social interraction than I do. She wants to be surrounded by lots of people all the time and I need some personal space. So while socialization isn't too much of an issue for the majority of homeschoolers it would be for our family.

The second is DD thrives on routines and routines drive me batty. I don't like doing the same thing today that I did yesterday. I don't mind providing routines for her, but I think 18 years of that 24/7 might not be good for my being, yk?

I am searching hard for a school that will meet her needs and our family's needs. I have found one that I love and am so hopeful that she will get in. It is even part time which means we could still give her lots of family time and playtime which are big advantages to homeschooling in my mind.

At any rate, that's where we are at. Good luck with your decision.

[mamathyme]

Anyone in this situation?
YES!

Why?
Problems in marriage.
I am in school now and will go back to homeschooling when I finish.

How did you come to your decision?
Years of agony! :

How do you feel about it?
It is not my 'ideal', but I feel positive about the choice to make a change.
I know we will return to homeschooling in a few years when our life is more settled and secure.

What were your concerns?
My oldest not 'fitting in' after years of being a homeschooler.
Children not having educational needs met.
Children being fed candy and junk all day!
Exposed to "bad" behavior, peer pressure.

Is "school" as "bad" as I fear?
In my case, not at all.
My oldest fit in fine, she is enjoying school.
Educational needs being met, not really. One child is 'behind' and one is 'advanced', we still do some of our 'homeschool' work at home after school and on weekends.
My children ARE given candy daily as behavior reward. One does not care for it, but this is what one child told the dentist today, "My mom makes me eat the good food, but at school it is like one big party and I get candy and junk EVERY day!"
Sigh.
My children attend a charter school and overall I have been pleased. The children that attend seem to be a really good group of kids. My children are still my children, they have not made a sudden change for the worse by being in school, their manners have not left the building as I had feared.

Hope

[MamaTaraX]

our experience

I realize this thread is way old, but wanted to answer. I'm sort of new to MDC, which is why I'm just now seeing it

Anyone in this situation?
Yeah, us

Why?
My son goes to public Kindergarten because my husband wanted him to go. Also, there is one child in this area besides my son and that child's family is trying to move. Neither my husband nor I can drive, we live far from any and everything, so school is a chance at social interaction.

How did you come to your decision?
There was no "decision" with us. My DH took that away from me and I'm still rather p*ssed about it. We talked a lot about homeschooling/unschooling. We sent our son to preschool/pre-K for a year for social interaction. I was tired of it and how it was on all of us. Kindergarten time came around. After many hours of tears and persuasion from me, my DH went out one day, took my son to a dr., got him vaccinated and signed him up for school. That was our "decision". Now he goes, 5 days a week (unless he doesn't want to).

How do you feel about it?
Me, personally? I don't like it. I'm very unhappy with it. I volunteer there once a month and it drives me batty. They don't give the kidsenough time for things and underestimate them right and left. I don't like what the future holds and I not-so-secretly pray that this is our only year with public school.

What were your concerns?
1. The non-allowance of time for things. Teachers assume children have a teeny attention span (full well knowing that these same kids, not mine though, spend 3 hours a day on their butts watching TV) so they shuffle them between activities far too often.
2. Too much busywork and too many stupid pointless crafty things. I mean, really, how many similar worksheets can you do!?
3. The stress each day on our family. We have to get up, get ready to go go go. I truly dispise it each and every day. Basically the only thing my kid hears once he gets up until he leaves is his daddy "encouraging" him to get dressed and get out of our house. That's how it feels to me anyway. It's stressful and ackward. And so obvious! On the days that he's no in school, my house is 100 times more peaceful than the days he does go.

About the only good things are that the school my son attends has an overflowing amount of money, so it's well-funded, well taken care of. His teacher is pretty down-to-earth. In fact, she talks to me a lot and choses to talk to me instead of the yuppie moms. I like that. She even was curious to hear my anti-school sentiment.
Sorry for the disjointed and late answer. This is a sore subject for me. This thread/topic just called out to me.

[AnnMarie]

Originally Posted by MamaTaraX

How did you come to your decision?
There was no "decision" with us. My DH took that away from me and I'm still rather p*ssed about it. We talked a lot about homeschooling/unschooling. We sent our son to preschool/pre-K for a year for social interaction. I was tired of it and how it was on all of us. Kindergarten time came around. After many hours of tears and persuasion from me, my DH went out one day, took my son to a dr., got him vaccinated and signed him up for school. That was our "decision". Now he goes, 5 days a week (unless he doesn't want to).

: I think I would have ended a relationship over that. My husband knew how I felt about vaccines, but he disagreed. I told him that until he does the research there is nothing to discuss, they won't be vaccinated. Well, he didn't care enough to do the research, but if he EVER went behind my back and had my kids vaccinated there would have been hell to pay. What about trust? What about honesty? Your opinions still matter. Why should his come first, and why the heck does he think what he did was OK?!?! YOU can do the same, you can decide to homeschool and pull your son out of PS. Don't let anyone take away decisions for you when you know in your heart something truly is the best choice. JMO. To me this is just as serious as say...circumcision. If you know in your heart it's the right thing to do you need to stand your ground and make sure your kids get what is best for them.

s I can't imagine how that felt for you. I'm so sorry he did that to you and your child.

[Itlbokay]

MamaTaraX brought up a good point - the hurried morning every school day.

It is one of the things I will NOT MISS when we start homeschooling, which we are doing by the coming school year.

I do not like sending my kids off in that flurry of activity so that they then can go to school and be gone all day where they're not really learning as much as they should be anyway KWIM? :

Forgive me for going a bit

[Alkenny]

I sent my oldest to PS from the getgo because she's a "social butterfly" and we have butted heads so many times (worse as she's getting older).

I homeschooled my middle son for awhile, but ended up sending him to PS too as he needed some therapy that they offered and he NEEDED more social stimulation. Not saying that HSed kids don't get that, but in our small community it was the best thing I could manage. He has THRIVED in PS though, so I'm happy with my choice.

I don't think there's ever a wrong way or right way. Every situation is different, and if it works for you...GREAT!

[MamaTaraX]

Originally Posted by AnnMarie

: I think I would have ended a relationship over that. My husband knew how I felt about vaccines, but he disagreed. I told him that until he does the research there is nothing to discuss, they won't be vaccinated. Well, he didn't care enough to do the research, but if he EVER went behind my back and had my kids vaccinated there would have been hell to pay. What about trust? What about honesty? Your opinions still matter. Why should his come first, and why the heck does he think what he did was OK?!?! YOU can do the same, you can decide to homeschool and pull your son out of PS. Don't let anyone take away decisions for you when you know in your heart something truly is the best choice. JMO. To me this is just as serious as say...circumcision. If you know in your heart it's the right thing to do you need to stand your ground and make sure your kids get what is best for them.

s I can't imagine how that felt for you. I'm so sorry he did that to you and your child.

It was a really rough time right after that. We talked about it, I cried about it. I had friends willing to scoopme up and house me in a heartbeat should I want to walk out. I so seriously thought of it. I weighed the world of a single mom vs. sticking it out. I'm still torn, but I think it's alittle late for the walking out. I still b*tch about it and I get a little kick out of talking about vaccine issues around my DH now. Makes him squirm. I like that, him squirming.
Before our son goes back to schoolnext year, I will be laying down law onmy DH. Law will be that he MUST read at least two of the books I've read regarding school. If after reading them and having an honest, grown-up discussion about school, he still feels the way he does, I'll bite the bullet and let our son go back to school. If he's unwilling to do that, I'm unwiling to let him register for school again. I haven't quite figured out what happens should he complain about my reading requests.
The vax thing is, I odn't want to say "moot", but there's not much I can do about it now. It's done. My son still talks about getting shots and itm akes me want to cry. Onthe plus side, his daddy is absolutely afraid of needles, so when he talks about it, my DH gets a little antsy. It's mean to be gratified by that, I unhealthilily appologize for it.
Sorry to make this so long. It's a really sore spot for me. I'm glad to see my son happy, but his days are more and more of the "I don't like this" and coming home with an attitude in need of adjustment, and Ijust can't se that all that deceipt with the signing up for school is really paying off. Yeah, he reckognizes about 30 words now, that's great. He also has this horrible little face hemakes that I know he picked up from school and a cranky 'tude too on school days. *sigh* I'll shut up now.
p.s. He says he won't argue if we (or just I) find a need to pull him out. That makes me upset sometimes to because he's willing to pull him out and have him at home, but not the other way around.
Namaste, Tara

[mpeel]

I homeschooled for a while but financially, we just could not keep me at home anymore. I had to go back to work. Me staying home was just getting us deeper in debt. So, my oldest is in a private parochial school we love. We got a scholarship so the money is not an issue. My youngest is in a church-based preschool but will be with her sister next year.

It is very hard for me. We were laid back homeschoolers, bordering on unschooling. To have to deal with homework and timed math tests is frustrating. But, for the most part, it has been great for both of them. My oldest is very social and we live very rurally. Academically, she would definitely prefer to be homeschooled. But, from the social end, she LOVES school. My youngest just takes everything as it comes. As long as her family, especially mama(me), is around regularly and her schedule/routine does not change, she goes with the flow.

I think school choice is the biggest factor in you being happy with your child in school. I think is it a smaller factor in your child's success. I think any decent school can produce a successful child if the parents are involved. But, I think your involvement depends a lot on the school choice. Can you handle the people well? Are they folks you want to spend time with? Do they have plenty of activities to involve the parents? Are the parents free to come and go at will (within means)?

I used to feel homeschooling was the only way children should be educated. But, now, I feel that children can thrive anywhere, with parent's involvement. I think that is more important than anything.

[AnnMarie]

Reading this thread again made me think of something that happened the other day. My 5 year old has been having trouble going to school. He cries and cries and doesn't want to go to class. A few weeks ago his father dropped him off and he was still crying and screaming when he left. My son came home and I asked him about his day because my ex told me he left him there screaming. I asked him if he finally went to class and he said yes because the principal told him that if he didn't she was going to call the police and they would make him go. And yes, I believe him. I know my son and he's the only one of my kids that doesn't lie to me. :LOL Plus, I know the school, and I've gotten threatening letters from the principal myself so I have no doubt what he told me is true.

I can't say it enough, I HATE THIS SCHOOL! God, if you are listening, please allow this house to sell so I can get my kids in a better place.

[Carolinamidwife]

Anyone in this situation?

Yes, I am.


Why?

Homeschooling was not working for anyone but ds, that includes myself and dd. I did not feel he was being socialized in the way he needs (he is an extrovert, I am a huge introvert) and I spent 99% of my time feeling like a guilty failure.


How did you come to your decision?

When I realized I was not being a good mother to my other child and I was extremely unhappy in other areas of my life and apprenticeship.


How do you feel about it? At first: Guilty beyond belief. Then: I questioned my decision and got angry with everything that did not fall into place. Now: I feel it was the right choice... getting there just took some time.


What were your concerns? Everything. I was concerned with everything from the pledge of allegiance, to lunch time, to whether or not they used manipulatives in math. We live in Texas, one of the worst states for public education (thank you, Shrub) and I OBSESSED over sending my brilliant child into the 48th worst state's school system. I was worried kids would be mean, or teachers would be mean, or he would come out a robotic mini-Republican trained to be a "good citizen."



Is "school" as "bad" as I fear? I can't speak to your schools but it is not nearly as bad as I feared. Max is actually behind the class (I assumed he would be light years ahead because of homeschooling), he is challenged every day, they DO have manipulatives, they DON'T sit at desks all day and he does have lots of friends. There are still things I don't like... like their insistance that all kids must fit into an educational box but I realized that when he is at home I can untrain his mind, I can still teach him what is important to us.

Anyway, that's my take. Max has been in school for about 6 weeks and he's adjusted and doing well. He is happy at home and doesn't complain about going. He comes home with lots of stories and seems to be making scholastic progress as well. I am happier, dd is doing well, and all in all I know it was the right choice for our family. Not an easy choice, but the right one.

[eafritz]

Last year my ds was enrolled in preschool 3 days/week and i loved it, he loved it. Our public school system is terrible so when it came time for kindergarten i went to every private, charter and even public school in our area and didnt' like any of them.

We finally decided to go 1/2 and 1/2. We enrolled our son in Ohio Virtual Academy. It's a public school done online, at home. I love it tremendously! I can't imagine the stress of having to decide upon curriculum, prepare lessons, etc. I love the idea of sitting down to do learn art or history online, and we do phonics and language arts completely offline. You can do every activity for every lesson, or pick and choose the ones you like. You can choose to skip a lesson or unit (we have skipped the drawing people unit due to ds hating it!) and either go back later to finish or not. As long as you get 80% through in each subject and at least 920 hrs (state standards) you can graduate to the next grade. In math, my son has already finished K and they sent us the 1st grade work to start.

Since i work part-time and dh works full-time, my dh teaches math and science, i teach phonics, art, history, language arts, and music. My son has a teacher who sets up phone conferences each month with us, the local teachers put together outings and workshops, and our teachers also put together things like roller skating or baseball game days.

I never saw myself homeschooling since i work part-time and again, didn't think i could handle the day-to-day weight of teaching my son. With this i get to do all the fun stuff and the school does all the "leg work". I love it! My ds is a bit tough sometimes and likes to whine about "always doing school" - which we spend at most, 2 hrs a day of actual sit-down teaching!!!

Hope this helps,

Ashlie

p.s. if you are interested in finding out about virtual academies in your state, go to www.k12.com

[elyice]

hahahah I love this question.
Yes, I KNOW homeschooling is best, yet I eagerly send my kids to school.
I do it for ME, to help maintin my sanity to give myself a break, to have the freedom to do things that I want to do. For 100% totally selfish reasons. I never sent my babies to Daycare, I feel totally fine using elementary school as daycare they are not babies anymore and I am loosing my mind.

[maya44]

I have to say that one of the biggest misconceptions of the homeschoolers I know is that the kids here "sit at desks all day"


Even my 5th grader spends very little time at her desk. (maybe 15 minutes 3 times per day)

School really is different today than when I went!

[Itlbokay]

Sounds like your kids are lucky My boys definitely have a lot of desk time, especially my fourth grader. I'm looking forward to giving homeschooling a chance in the Fall.

[journeymom]

elyice, you are a bad woman! :LOL

Anyone in this situation?

I am. Well, I think homeschooling can be- ideal.

Why?

I am not homeschooling because I don't have the patience or organizational skills to do it. I tend towards extream irritability and when I put dd in preschool in desparation, it was like a flood of relief.

How did you come to your decision?

Dh and I were never going to put our kids in public school. Only private. But that proved to be quite unrealistic! The closest Catholic school would have been affordable, but was not admitting non-parishoners. The others that we liked were too expensive.

How do you feel about it?

OK. I still wonder if dd would be further along academically if she were in a good private school. The kids' school (ds is in kindergarten) is mediocre. The Principle, who sets the tone, only does what it takes to get by. She doesn't expect excellence from the kids.

Ds's teacher is great, actually. She's been at it for 12 years or so. She old enough to be experienced, but not so old to be burned out and out of ideas.

Fourth grade dd, unfortunately, got a green teacher. She's only been teaching 2 years, and this is her first fourth grade. I guess there has to be a first for everybody. But this woman isn't very confident or organized.

What were your concerns?

Over-structured time, squashed creativity, homogenization of thinking, commercialism (brand names, tv shows, movies etc, featured on clothes, idolized in discussion), bad food.

Is "school" as "bad" as I fear?

I dunno, how much do you fear it?

Yes and no. Yes, all those concerns I listed above turned out to be true. It wasn't so bad last year. We had to change schools this year when our school was closed down last year. District is in financial trouble. While the last school had plenty of experienced teachers who expected kids to try hard, regardless of their financial background, this school, like I said, seems to be happy to be mediocre. There's a large population of poor kids from families who aren't involved in their education. Well, it's like the staff has given up on them.

Maybe I'm naive and the teachers and this principle know from experience that no matter how hard they try these kids just aren't going to improve academically. But I diagress...

I regret that dd's best friend is socially more sophisticated (10 y.o. going on 17) and is fairly shallow, culturally.

But I am pleased with how happy dd is to be in a large group of friends. Like a lot of mothers mentioned here, I'm not as out-going as dd is.

[Electra375]

This so applied to me last August.

Why? My dh said he wanted our child in public school and I try my best to be the good wife and follow his instruction (it's a Christian Biblical thing and some do not agree with me or understand it)

I went into the relationship with public school cautiously. I review every piece of paper that comes home, I do not give out information that isn't necessary, I do not allow the school to have access to my child for anything but learning, I don't bug the teacher too much, I'm more of a pain in the pattooty for the administration with my Religious exemptions to vaccinations and school physicals, plus my lack of divulging information.

I was a teacher and know how the parents you hate are, so I'm not one of those I hope.

My concerns were is he going to be challenged enough. I would say that reading was right on target of not too challenging but still learning, but the math work is still below his potential.

I was worried about him either being placed too far ahead or not being challenged enough. He was place a year ahead of age coming out of a Montessori school, he has had no trouble. I hate grades, but he has managed all As and Bs the entire year. He likes school.

Many parents agonize every year about making a schooling choice. After 3 years with Montessori, and 1 year in public school, I feel fine letting him move on to 2nd grade at the school less than a mile away. He is learning, he sucessful to their standards and meets my standards of learning, we do work at home on stuff I feel they do not emphasize enough, he loves the school bus, lunch, recess, and math time.

School hasn't been the nightmare really that I made it out to be.

[huggerwocky]

Me!

I think so.Well, sort of.I basically think I'd be able to give my daughter a much better education than the school can.THIS school can.The school district is great, but more than 30 children in elementary school....well...you get the picture.

The reason why I don't do it is the language barrier.English is not my 1st language and even though I'm more or less fluent I can't make myself talk english to her, it doesn't feel right.

So there you are