advice on raising newborn triplets

[3newviews]

I am pretty stoked to see that there are some other mamas raising mutilpes the natural way...up til now, most of the info that I've gotten has come from a message board similar to this from the triplet connection site. However, anytime I posted a message or question regarding AP I received no response...that or the advice included suggestions from folks way out of our league financially (night nannies for help with feeding schedules, Range Rovers as suggested cars that fit 3 car seats, etc.). Not quite our reality!
I am a new mom, with 2 boys and a girl that are just 3 weeks old. If I hear one more person say, "Well, certainly you aren't nursing!" I might freak out. (yes, I am nursing...people say, glad it's not me. yeah I am glad it's not you too!)
We're having lots of fun getting to know our babies. My thing is that being a new mom, I hear many different opinions on things like not giving a baby a pacifier for various reasons, demand feeding instead of scheduled feedings, etc. It seems to me that to a certain extent some methods that work for mothers raising one baby at a time may work better than those same methods applied to me, raising three at once. Is it really bad to console a crying baby (who just wants to eat) with a pacifier until his sister is finished and I can satisfy his needs? Better to just let him cry? There is only one of me and unfortunately my partner can't be with us all the time.
Likewise, having the kids eat within 15 min- 1/2 hour of each other keeps me from feeding them around the clock, and allows me to sleep a few hours at a time. I will trade this for feeding on demand, because otherwise I wouldn't sleep, nor would I produce enough milk for all of our babies. I do allow 1 or 2 children to str before I wake anyone up, but once 2 are fed, it's time for #3 to get up! Is that really so bad? I am open to tryng out things that worked for you. I am totally new at this and hoping to explore some new possibilities. And yes, I do successfully feed two at a time but ther's always someone that wants mamas attention. And I love it...just wondering about how others deal with similar issues.

[Paulab52]

Hi 3newviews,

I just want to say congratulations on your new little babies! How blessed you are.

I don't have any advice to give you, since I only have single births. I do want you to know that you are doing an amazing job, nursing all three babies. How lucky they are to have you as a mommy.

I think you are doing the right thing by waking up #3 so that he/she can eat. I'm sure that if your babys are showing signs of hunger, you aren't going to deny them just because it's not time yet

Good luck to you and enjoy your babies.

[lisamarie]

Congrats on your new babies. I just bumped another thread about parenting multiples that might be helpful and where you can connect with other parents of multiples.

Best of Luck!

Lisa

[peggy]

I am in awe of you! These are your first? You seem so grounded. With my first I was on auto pilot for months.(and there was just one of him) It sounds like what you are doing is working for you. A pacifier is great way to keep one from crying until you can get to him. I have used a pacifier with my baby so I could tend to the immediate needs of my 4 year old (emergency bathroom trip, boo-boo's etc)
Welcome !

peggy

[momacat]

Hi 3newviews!! I remember feeling the same way about hearing the unsolicited advice, from friends, family, the peds office, regarding nursing. I just wish some folks would keep their comments to themselves. Nursing multiples is So Wonderful! Folks should be more supportive in their approach to the topic. One good thing though, as you start adding up the months, the raves do come! After a certain point, people realize that you are dedicated, and the same folks who are shocked now, will start bragging about you later. LOL

While I have not personally nursed triplets, I have met many moms online who have/are. My site has several links to personal websites of nursing triplet mommas. You may want to check them out.

Your little babes sure are lucky to have you for their momma!!!

[redsquirrel]

hey mama you really do rock! I have a friend with twins (and a single mom at that) and she struggled with many of the same issues. Her twins are now almost two and still nursing. They are the most beautiful babies I have ever seen. Other moms of twins always comment on how peaceful and happy they are. I guess that often twins or multiples grow up to be a rowdy bunch. My friend chalks it up to lots of mama milk and dedicated ap.
When she talks about parenting she says that she made basic priorities (nursing exclusively, lots of holding, no crying it out) and then just concentrated on those few things at a time. When the kids were tiny she just focused on nursing and holding. She took care of herself and just nursed. Almost everything else was taken care of by good friends or left to wait. She made lots of lists and got very organized. it's funny, instead of a nanny or SUV (not an option for her either) her life got very basic and simple. Her living room was empty of all furniture and instead was filled with pillows for piling around her while she nursed, baby toys and music. She dressed in sweats and t-shirts for about a whole year. At the same time she always looked so happy and even rested!
Good luck to you and keep us posted.

[TreeLove]

First of all CONGRATS MAMA!!!!

You are doing fantastic! I had twins in '98. They had many medical obstacles, so some points of AP were just not possible, but meeting their needs is the #1 goal. I think when you are the mother of mulitples, once in a while a babe is going to cry.
I had them use a pacifier and they were in their swings (gasp )while I prepared meds and formula (double gasp )There are carriers made for wearing triplets, if you are interested. Just do your best. I lived in my recliner for the first 12+ months. And four years later, my house still looks like hell. Oh well...I LOVE being the mother of twins, and they know they are my main priority...

Be gentle to yourself. Get them on a "schedule", if it meets your/their needs better. I had to have mine on a schedule due to certain meds that needed to be taken with or without food. I would never let them cry it out or just not feed them if they were starved, please don't think that. I just know that some ideals need to be tailored to you babes needs which can be different from a singleton. It's not the end of the world to have to shift gears a bit.

You are doing a great job. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

[sleepies]

Congratulations!

I don't have advice, since I have not had multiples.

I like your idea of pacifier while others eat.

Better than letting them cry.

I guess try to be sure you dont feed the same one first each time...

good luck

[3 little birds]

Congratulations 3newviews!!!!!!

It sounds like you are doing a GREAT job!!!

I have 2 year old twins so I am a little in awe of anyone with triplets or more. When people comment on the twins (Better you than me, I can't believe you are nursing them both,etc) I always say, "Some people have triplets!".

I did find that I havetocompromise on some things in order to keep sane. We did use pacifiers when necessary (but they were over them by 6 months) and swings and bouncy seats.

I mean, come on, you can skip a shower but you have to pee!

We also did everything ourselves, no nanny's or even babysitters and our families were unable or unwilling to help out. If there are people you trust who offer help, please consider taking it because I can almost promise that there will come a time when you will feel burnt out. Even if its just meal preparation, it can make a big difference.

We have also had to live very simply to afford to live on one (small) income. We are constantly cutting back but we have gone into debt. It bothers me a lot but I figure the pay offs of being at home with the girls, nursing them and providing them with parents instead of caretakers is worth it.

Let us know how you are doing and enjoy those babies!!!

[Dot.mom]

3newviews: You are amazing!!!!!!!!

I have no advice, I have only one child and you are already far more together than I was.

Wishing you All The Best!

[robynberkley]

Had a friend who had twins and when she breastfed she put them on a schedule...when she fed one, she fed the other. OF course, it is easier to do twins in tandem but nonetheless, there is nothing wrong with using a schedule if it keeps you "sane" and able to handle the demands of 3 newborns at once!! You are in a different league than the rest of us with singletons and you need to find what works best for you. Nothing wrong with allowing one to suck on a pacifier while waiting for meal time...try to vary who is the one waiting though so they all get the benefits of the fore/hind milk as it is available to them. IF one ONLY gets hind milk and another gets ONLY foremilk, that may be at issue for growth and development.

Congrats and good luck!!

Robyn

[fishy]

Re: advice on raising newborn triplets

Originally posted by 3newviews
It seems to me that to a certain extent some methods that work for mothers raising one baby at a time may work better than those same methods applied to me, raising three at once. Is it really bad to console a crying baby (who just wants to eat) with a pacifier until his sister is finished and I can satisfy his needs? Better to just let him cry? There is only one of me and unfortunately my partner can't be with us all the time.

3newviews, you are hte best. i think you are right about hte above quoted. you have to do what you can to get it done. it definately is different having 3, rather than 1. things cant be the same. you are so great for giving your babies the best. i salute you.
you just have to do what feels right for you and the babies. try not to worry about others' advice. and golly, you have your hands full! how exciting!

[flminivanmama]

there is an apmultiples list on yahoo groups (just do a search for it on the yahoo groups site) we have quite a few triplet moms on it

[TwinMom]

I second (third?) the comment about feeding them on a schedule. I bottlefed (gasp!--I was young and uninformed) my twins and found that the only way I could possibly get any sleep was to make sure that when one was fed the other one got fed immediately after. I still had such sleep deprivation that I hallucinated (if you see your baby turn into a goat while holding her, put her down and walk away!), but I'm sure it would have been worse if there hadn't been some sort of schedule. I guess "routine" would be a better word. I never propped a bottle, always fed as if I were breastfeeding. Mine would never take a pacifier, though, so I would rock one in a rocker/carrier with my foot while I fed her sister. When it came time for solids I would spoon into alternating mouths. It's HARD, but you're going to make it through!

BTW, I knew a woman in my M.O.M. group that I belonged to when my kids were babies that breastfed triplets for a year. Basically she slept, ate, and nursed that whole year. I know that she did pump some so that her dh and parents could help feed the babies. What a wonderful gift to give her preemies! What a wonderful gift you're giving your babies!

[USAmma]

Wow, I am so impressed with how together you sound! I was losing it with my one when she was a newborn. Although I don't have multiples I did pump exclusively so was doing double duty. The things that worked best for me to soothe her while I was in the middle of a letdown and couldn't do anything but hold the pump over my boobs was to put her in a carrier at my feet and rock her, or put her in a swing. I never thought I'd get a swing but it came in handy during my pumping. Baby Mozart video also would soothe her for 15 minutes. I don't encourage new moms to put their babes in front of a TV but this was a special circumstance. The only time I bottle propped was when rocking her in her carrier with my foot while pumping because I didn't have much choice. You are doing a great job and are to be congratulated!