Does this sound normal to you?

[mommyofboy]

I guess I just need to run things by all you ladies... Everyone on here seems really supportive of each other.

Anyway, I've had some probs on/off with depression for about 10 years. During my pregnancy I was on a very tiny dose of Zoloft. I felt very good during pregnancy. After birth, had the usual "baby Blues", but got better. I had adjustment issues to work through, but you know what mom doesn't! My baby was a very poor sleeper and around 6 months of age I noticed I was really getting depressed again. I was crying a lot, not sleeping well, very irritable, moody (would get really upset w/my husband), felt overwhelmed and that taking care of the baby was so hard, etc.

I am on a higher dose of Zoloft now. I think it has helped somewhat. i'm no longer crying that often, I sleep pretty well now (so does baby thank goodness!!), I feel like I can focus better on things (before it was so hard). I'm still having these periods where I feel depressed, it's like a heaviness descends over me and then it kind of goes away. My doctor added Wellbutrin, just been on it for less than a week.

I still feel overwhelmed a lot, but I work part time and I get little to no downtime from my baby. I 've joined a playgroup to try to meet other moms and for baby to play of course. I'm trying to get out more. Sometimes being at home all day with baby I feel isolated, a little lonely (my hubby works late hours three nights a week and comes home after we are in bed). Getting things done is hard and sometimes I just so feel like I need a break. I find myself getting frustrated with my child sometimes like when he's fussy and is trying to fight sleep or I'm out somewhere and he wants to fuss. Also, I wish sometimes my hubby would be a little more active in his care while I'm home so I could just get a break here and there.

I guess I wanted to know if you other moms experienced this or experience this. Does this sound normal or like PPD? Even after you have gotten over the depression do you still have the periods of depression that come and go? Is that just part of motherhood?

Thanks!!! SOrry it's SOOOOO Long...

[tug]

i found that the nights my dh worked late (he taught a night class twice a week during the first five months of ds's life), i had a really hard time emotionally -- everything seemed overwhelming. so i can't say whether it's normal but it certainly sounds familiar and would be how i think i would feel in your shoes. i hope things improve -- good luck.

[MsMoMpls]

Yeah, that sounds really normal. It is a tough job, you aren't going to love it or fufilled every day and if you expect to, then you will just be mad at yourself when you can't meet that reality. Have you gotten any counseling? Of course, as a therapist, I don't think meds alone are nearly as good as meds plus a wonderful, wise therapist like me. There are likely thoughts that you entertain, ideas that you are hanging onto, that can pull you back into the depression. Or you just don't have a lot of experience being at peace and happy and need some guidance. Otherwise, just be patient and understanding with yourself and know that it sounds like you are doing a wonderful job dealing with your depression.

[georgia]

I realized after about 4 years of mothering that I had needs, too, not just my babies. It was a revelation to me. MY needs weren't being met, and it was up to me to find a way to get them met so that everyone could be having their needs attended to. I found clear, specific, non-threatening communication was critical. I needed to request that I get some ME time so I could feel like a real person other than a mommy. Specifically asking for what I needed---ie would you be willing to take the boys to the park (or whatever) for an hour so I could take a quick nap, read a magazine, wash my hair, etc. I found that if I was round-about in asking, it didn't get done. I had to learn that it was OK to take some time to recharge. I'd felt guilty for a long time.....too long! Communication is really important.

[Aeress]

normal is a relative term I know I felt like that with my first. My first didn't nap by herself for the first 6months and then she napped better but still wore me out. I found that it took me a good 6-9 months to get used to being a mom and finding some balanc between me and her. I was also on zoloft and seeing a therapist which helped, but talking to other moms and hearing that I wasn't alone and many new moms go through this adjustment period helped.

[mommyofboy]

Thanks ladies for your advise. Iam going to make an appt to talk with a therapist. I really need to talk about some things. Thanks again!

[Jish]

I had a very high needs first child who nursed all the time and only wanted me. It was a rough time. I felt so overwhelmed and guilty and angry at my dh who I thought could help with the baby more even though the baby wanted nothing to do with him.

I don't know if it was depression or just plain frustration of dealing with that child. I do know that as ds1 got older and was more willing to go to his dad, life got much easier. I don't know if I needed meds then, but a therapist would have helped tons.

MsMoMpls, where were you when I needed a wise and wonderful therapist.