40+ and TTC right over here!! - Page 9

[Velveteen]

Polka, I am SO sorry your ds is so sick, and now you and hubby are sick too! I am thinking of you all!!

I don't know why, but my 'thinking I was pregnant feelings' are now gone. I really, really thought I had a chance. Although AF is not due for a few more days, somehow I feel like my 'time' is running out.
You cannot beleive how frustrated I feel now that ds is going to turn 5 in July. I was 5.5 yrs apart from my brother, and I definately didn't want that kind of spread.

Are you all going to keep trying indefinately? I wanted to be pg before I turned 43, but now that I am 43, I don't want to stop trying. Because if I don't try, then I definately won't get a sib, and another little dream. However, after this long, I do wonder what my chances truly are.
Lots of introspection lately.

[Kokomom]

Morning all-

Velv- just sending a hug your way! It is hard when things do not go as we plan, hard to explain, hard to accept, just hard. My thoughts are with you.

To those reboots- Sorry !

I am coming up on O, hopefully earlier this month. Like Velv, I am wondering about continuing to TTC. Maybe becasue I turned 40 last Sunday and the reality is setting in of how long do I want to try or....should we start the adoption process. We did it AZ, and tho it didn't result in a match (did it thru foster care) we loved our worker and still feel very positive about doing it. MMMMM. I am trying hard to step back a little from the intensity of TTC and just use my resources and remain open to the results, good or bad. Oh, man...I am rattling on...can you tell it was a rough nite's sleep?

Well, sending smiles to everyone on this journey and hopes for a good day to all-

[greenmansions]

Hi,

Sorry you're feeling blue Velveteen. I'm sorry that I'm not familiar with your history, but have you been to a fert. specialist lately? There seems to be lots they can do, plus new techniques all the time.

We plan to stop in the first part of my 42nd year, which would be the first part of 2006. We are going to evaluate where we stand on it all at the end of this year though, and make a decision whether to stop then, or if we are optimistic, go another few months. In reality tho, we reevaluate all the time, just like we do with most things - happiness in jobs, marriage, homes, etc as well as the littler things in life.

We feel like we're complete with DS, and while we hope to have a sibling for him we are not going to go to great lengths to get one, for example I probably will not go as far as IVF if it comes to that and we will probably not adopt. Of course that could all change as our self-imposed deadline looms nearer.

I think we all will know when we've had enough of all this and are ready to move on.

[SagMom]

Temps still high, but judging by my mood, this wasn't my month either.

I wish I could get to the point where I felt "complete." Or that I could know how to live without feeling complete.

Right now, I'm just tired of the whole ttc thing. Really, really tired.

[greenmansions]

Regarding "completeness" I think what helps us is that it took us so long to have DS that we were afraid we would have no children at all. So that just having him and the fact that he is such a healthy, cute and good natured baby just makes us especially grateful, and we feel like we were blessed to get him. So another would be a great bonus, but not a deal breaker for our happiness. Our plan from the get-go was "1 plus or minus 1 child". Maybe that perspective makes a difference too - a small family is what we planned.

[Velveteen]

Joan, boy can I relate. Please see post #75, and post #80 in the 30+ and TTC for a might long time thread. That explains it perfectly. Like I said, I can so relate to your comment.

Greenmansions; no, I haven't been to a fert. spec. lately. I like the fact that you do not struggle with completeness. I do. And I don't know how to stop wanting either, or like Joan said, how to live without being complete.

On the other hand, AF is not here yet, so there is always a chance.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by Velveteen

Joan, boy can I relate.

I sincerely wish that you had no idea what I'm talking about. My fingers are crossed for you this month. Peace.

Not being pregnant would certainly be a lot easier if it didn't coincide with pms, huh? Fortunately, I've got a dh who is smart enough not to take to heart the things I say during pms--and wise enough to not MENTION that he knows it's pms talking. Yesterday was a really crappy day. Thanks for listening, ladies.

[greenmansions]

Joan, that is one thing my DH could sure stand to learn. :LOL When I'm having a bad month, he *always* points out that it's PMS. That just makes me crabbier. I always tell him that the subjects that come up during PMS are things that tick me off all the time, it just builds up to where I'll say finally something about it when my hormones are raging! So he shouldn't minimize my comments during that time, which he has a tendency to do. ARGH. Men. Gotta love 'em!

[polka123]

cd 8

KHA for you all.
Hoping that maybe, just maybe....................... :

now that my body decided to play mean trick & start AF early
: I kinda feel alone.

I was all ready to get my HSG - (really psyched myself up for the pain) this month but will wait til next mon. since DH took off so much work when DS & I were sick.

feeling complete ?? we really want another since DS was such a blessed surprise. I guess since we're older, I really want have him to have a sib close in age.
if it does not happen, we'll be disapointed but will have to accept it.

[Velveteen]

Polka, glad you are feeling better. So sorry AF played such a mean trick on you....this has gotta be the month for you.


CD 3 here, as AF came exactly 28 days later. That is what is so frustrating about this whole thing. I mean, how much easier could it get? 28 day cycles, ovulate on day 14. My monitor just confirms what I already know about the timing.

Sigh.

[polka123]

Velveteen
damn - on AF

what, if any, type of fertility have you been thru?
I don't want to make you repeat any info you don't want.

it does seem like you should nail it with regular cycles like that....
I wish I could wave a magic wand...

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by Velveteen

CD 3 here, as AF came exactly 28 days later. That is what is so frustrating about this whole thing. I mean, how much easier could it get? 28 day cycles, ovulate on day 14. My monitor just confirms what I already know about the timing.

Sigh.

I'm right there with you. cd 3 for me too. I'm ovulating regularly, our timing is perfect. Makes me so freakin

[Velveteen]

Joan, I'm right there with you.
It seems pointless to go and spend my money on the fertility docs. There is nothing wrong with me, I just have old eggs, that's it.
JOan, actually you give me hope because you DID conceive after a two year stint at TTC, right??

I have done every conceivable lifestyle enhancer, herb or fertility enhancer that I can. There is nothing left to do but be patient.
Especially after reading the book Inconceivable, I made even more changes. I am now on a sugar, wheat and dairy free diet.. except for a little cheese (organic) and butter, also organic. I keep thinking if I'm in tip top physical condition it will help. If not, I still feel better.

After totally educating myself on all issues female/fertilty ( I read like crazy). I don't think there is anything that they can do for me. It seems that most women with reg. cycles like myself do get pg naturally more often than even by IVF, and I'm too old for that anyway. The stats listed on the 40 + pluss board also confirm that.

Not that I'm against RE's, its just I don't think they have anything there that I need.
I just have to keep trying until it seems like it is less painful to stop. I have no idea if I will get there, or if I will get there. We'll see.

[SagMom]

Get out of my brian, Velveteen!

Yes, I did get pregnant after 2 1/2 years. I keep reminding myself of that. Sometimes, I think I might be holding myself back somehow, our of fear of m/c again.

Although, I read recently (can't remember where) that most women have some good eggs until they're about 51 years old.

"I just have to keep trying until it seems like it is less painful to stop." This is a good sig line, or motto, or mantra or something.

Polka, how is everyone feeling at your house?

[Kokomom]

Hi all-
Sorry to hear about the reboots and that I don't check in too often...it seems I get to read more than write. But I am interested in how everyone is!
I just keep thinking my Mom had me at 40 so...maybe genetics will be with us

I am O'ing today. Almost missed it because I was waiting on the O pain that has come with it the last 6months and there is none. I believe the acupuncture is working (and I finally am spelling that right) and that my body is starting to balance out some. It is still CD 18 but hey better than 21! So that is where I am.

Wishing everyone a good day and cycle. Will check back in before I go on vacation.

[polka123]

cd 10

ok... what's an RE ??

y'know, I believe that stress can have something to do with infertility for some folks.

We have an incredible amt of stress in out lives (due to OTHER idiots) BUT we did conceive DS under a ton of stress also.
We do have more now than then.
We have some crappy x-family among other things.
Strangely, we, ourselves, do not have problems

Kokomom- here's catching that eggie :LOL

We are feeling much better, Thanks
We went to W-mart today & DS was FINALLY running around having a grand time so : even tho I'm not keen on that : , it was so nice to see him acting "normal"


Here's : : for everyone

[Mom4tot]

CD friggin' 1 for me today Damn.


I turned 43 on Tues. This cycle was 26 days. Ugh.

[polka123]

Originally Posted by Mom4tot

CD friggin' 1 for me today Damn.


I turned 43 on Tues. This cycle was 26 days. Ugh.

I'm sorry

[Velveteen]

Originally Posted by Mom4tot

CD friggin' 1 for me today Damn.


I turned 43 on Tues. This cycle was 26 days. Ugh.

Oh Mom4tot
So sorry.

Kokomom, Catch that eggie!!

Polka, RE: Reproductive endocrinologist
So glad ds is feeling better!!!!!

Joan, the fear of mc is very powerful. But you can use that same power to visualize positive things. think of that egg burrowing down into the welcoming soft lining of your uterus. Visualize water poured from a beautiful vase, washing over you, cleansing you of fear. Think of every movement, how fluid it feels, silky and clean and renewing. Imagine that baby growing, attaching to you, as you use the power of your mind to wash away the fear.
I am not underestimating the potent fear/disappointment/anger and all the other feelings of a m/c. I had one before ds, and it was the most crushing blow to me, right up there with losing my mom.
Have you looked into fertile heart website?? You might want to check out her fertility visualization tapes. Julia Indichova should know, she was 44 years old when she delivered a healthy girl, her second child.

Also, I am reading a book by Alice Domar on the emotional aspects of infertility ( I like to say sub-fertility). Because we are not infertile, we just have to put more effort into it because of our age.
After I started looking, I realize there are many, many women our age on the TTC journey, many of whom are succesful.
When I'm feeling down, I go to http://www.asmallwwweb.com/Over40/boards.htm
One look at all the preggo woman, all over 40, gives me hope!!

[SagMom]

Velveteen, thank you so much for your kind words. I'll check that site out, and I'm going to hang onto what you said.

Joan, I'm sorry, hon.

Polka, I'm glad to hear that everyone is feeling more "normal." What a month, huh?

and :