|My2girlsmama- what was your bankruptcy like? I am thinking of filing for myself, meaning not with dh (allowed in my state). we have not fallen behind at this point, but man we are on the brink, big time. yikes!!
Rowdypea, well honestly? Talking
about it back then was so much worse than doing
it. People have this notion that it is a bad
thing, or that you are a bad person to have to go through a bankruptcy. We too felt this way. But, we coudn't consolidate or re-finance through the mortgage due to not enough equity in our home (our second home just moved two/half years ago) and so we were faced with a bleak outlook.
We mustered up the gumption and just did it. We both filed, as everything was in both names, and while that makes it harder rebuilding, overall it went really smoothly. We attended the two sessions mandatory with the trustee and that was good as we figured out how to budget and they were impressed with how well I did budgeting on one income let alone with the horrid finances we endured while in debt. We learned to get over the fear
of no nets...HUGE
to us as we solely relied upon our cc's for backup which ate us alive eventually.
While harder as well, no credit lines or bank extensions, we have learned to go without and wait and save, as well as negotiate with utilities to hold off payments when need be, pay half etc. They are quite understanding when need be, and I learned I don't have to put us in the hole to pay monthly bills!
My family has been lifesaving though I must admit. My parents carried us many times and still do when things get tough....just while we're finding our way back. I thank the Good Lord for them daily
. They simply say they suffered all of what we are and more, and refuse to have us go it alone or have their grandchildren suffer anything from it, which the kids have not.
Overall when faced with what we were, we now feel lighter, happier, and very focused on the future.