How do I respond to this?

[Artisan]

I work part time out of the home, and pick up my toddler right after lunch and before his nap. Invariably, on the way home, he starts saying things like, "I don't want to take a nap! No nap today, mommy!" He still needs a nap (he's 2-1/2) and usually sleeps when I lay him down.

I'm just looking for suggestions on how to respond to him during our car ride home.

TIA!

[annettemarie]

I would just mirror what he's saying, "You don't want to take tiime out of your day to nap, do you? You wish you could just play, play, play all day long. Wouldn't that be fun! No nap- no sleep- we'll stay up all day and all night and just play!"
Annette

[Ruthla]

I would just say "That's right, it's not nap time now. It's car time now." Then I'd try to redirect the conversation or turn on the radio.

[lilyka]

I would just let him know that you understyand he doesn't want to take a nap but that you are the mommy and you know what is best for him and right now napping is what is best.

[Artisan]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I would just mirror what he's saying, "You don't want to take tiime out of your day to nap, do you? You wish you could just play, play, play all day long. Wouldn't that be fun! No nap- no sleep- we'll stay up all day and all night and just play!"
Annette

I have been trying to mirror his feelings a bit, but I am worried that he will get the idea that I'm saying it's OK not to nap. As in, I understand, and you don't have to do it.

[PumpkinSeeds]

my son completely gave up naps at 2.5yo.

He did and still does much better by going to bed a bit earlier.

Just a thought that being out of the house and the car ride home breaks up his schedule....

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by reader

I have been trying to mirror his feelings a bit, but I am worried that he will get the idea that I'm saying it's OK not to nap. As in, I understand, and you don't have to do it.

I see what you are saying, but I don't think that is the case, at least my children have not interpreted it that way. I see it more as giving them words for their feelings.

When it is nap time, if he fusses, I would do the same sort of thing- "It's hard to stop playing and take a rest." But then your actions- helping him get ready for nap- are speaking to the reality of the situation.

Annette

[Ruby Pearl]

If you wanted to get really creative you could tell him that there is a little boy living inside of his body who really does want to nap and that maybe we should just lay down for a couple of minutes with our eyes closed and see if he's not too tired to come out to play. I had to make up such a story about tangle monsters building nests in my daughters hair to make brushing it more bearable for her, she loves it when I can actually show her a "nest" I have pulled out.

[*Lisa*]

We have a lot of ongoing discussions at our house about not wanting to use the potty and not wanting to wear a winter coat (she wants to wear her Fall coat). She ends up doing both, but we talk about those things a lot. DD is about 2 1/2, too, and understands enough about consequences that we can talk about them. Here's a typical conversation we have at least once every day or two:

DD: Don't want to go potty.
Me: What happens when you don't go potty?
DD: Might have an accident.
Me: Do you like having accidents?
DD: No
Me: So what do you think you should do?
DD: Use the potty.

Sometimes she thinks it's funny to say "Not use the pottty," but she just laughs and then uses it anyway. Could you talk to him about what happens if he doesn't take a nap (e.g., feeling grumpy, not having energy to do whatever fun activity he likes to do)? If he understands that, maybe you can start to talk about that on the way home?

[bec]

I have found that mirroring is very effective. It shows my daughter that I understand what she is saying, and how she is feeling. I am careful to keep my language such that I am not saying anything I don't want to follow through with. When I am mirroring, I try to keep the "but"s out of it. I just empathize with her using my words, and express the "but" more with my actions (like in your example, turning the lights off, and getting her settled for the nap).


Bec

[Bippity]

Threads like these are why I this place! What excellent reminders of what I've been slacking on already...!

[Artisan]

Thanks, everyone -- this was helpful!