Okay, I've been awake since 3am. Again. It's been like this, really since he was born. I went with ap parenting because it seemed to me to be the kindest form of parenting. Child-led. Which, at the time (pre-child), seemed to fit into our personalities anyway. We co-sleep. We nurse and fought to do so as Bay was a preemie and in the hospital for a month at birth and on oxygen, etc.). We don't spank. We don't "talk down too" or "yell". I am a sahm. Baylor is a high needs baby and has been since day 1. He has gotten better, but night is a big issue. I'm working on a week of nursing all freakin' night and I'm freakin' tired as I've not really slept since he was born. He's 22 months folks. I've been thrown off of main stream boards because I'm such an ap advocate. I mean when is the big freakin' pay off here? I'm beginning to think that unless Baylor grows up to be president or something it will not pay off at all and he'll be lucky if I have a grain of sanity left by the time he finally has to get off me and go to school or something. My only source of support is this board, I would like to think. And, for ME, it's really NO support at all. No one seems to want to hear or understand my issues. I get a few web-hugs per post and not much more. I'm sooooo grateful for those mama's who DO reply with advice and please don't think I'm not. But, in general, I feel like Mothering isn't here for me. I'm not a poplular girl at this site. I'm the one doing cartwheels in the outfield or something. I think maybe many of you fear me because ap IS NOT WORKING for our child, for us, and that idea isn't acceptable here. Now I fear my son is to old to be trained or taught any other lessons and I'm destined to die from exhaustion or something. For me this board is usually a slap in the face due to my "shortcomings" as a mother or something. Tell me why I should stay. Tell me why AP should work for us.
post #1 of 102
2/1/05 at 8:17am