For those thinking of TTC #2+... Do you ever wish

[mom2tess]

Do you ever wish it would just happen like an "accident" and save you all the trouble of deciding?? DH & I have been so back and forth about TTC #2, it is making me crazy. I am the type of person that likes to know what is going to happen and don't like things being up in the air. We just can't come to a definete decision. DD is 8yo and this year I will turn 34, and if we are going to have another I want to do it soon. I have been off the pill almost a year and we can't seem to get rid of those condoms. Anyone else feel that way??? Any experiences???

Melinda

[annethcz]

That's how we ended up with #2 (and #3 as well...)

[Jish]

I felt that way with number two also. I knew I wanted another, but it was just such a darned hard decision to make. We finally just decided to stop using protection and see what happened. We got pregnant the first month which was amazing considering that my ds and dh both had pnumonia that month and we only had sex once. I think that's as close to an accident as you can have with out it actually being an accident.:LOL

With number three we had decided to start trying in July, but were a bit tipsy one night in June and didn't get a condom and had our decision made for us.

The decision making is the hardest part. Once we decided to finally stop preventing, it was exciting again. Getting that positive test was just as exciting as the first time. Not that you won't have doubts after you get pregnant too, but once that little babe gazes into your eyes, there aren't any doubts anymore.

[Wilhemina]

Oh mamas, this has really been on my mind lately. And I struggle with it alone. My DH would be in FULL SUPPORT of more and my mom and sister would at the idea - I dare not bring it up with any of them.

We have 2 dds, ages 6 and 3, and I will be 36 this year. My standard answer when asked about more is, "I think we're done. I love babies, but I have been nursing, pregnant, or nursing AND pregnant since Feb. 98, and I'm not getting any younger."

So much more to consider this time around. Are all these complicating factors clouding the real issue or worth consideration?

Just rambling now. Somehow it just felt like y'all asked, and since I can't discuss it with anyone else...

Thanks for listening.
AM

[JulieK]

This is so timely for me. I have a 5 month old boy and was NOT planning on having another for quite a while yet, especially b/c I'm going back to work in a month and would feel pretty rotten leaving again for maternity leave. I'm nursing the baby AND on nuvaring (contraceptive), so it's extremely unlikely I would be pregnant, but I was late with my period and the thought did cross my mind.... I took a test, though, and it was negative, so I'm probably not. But, you know what? I was a little sad to find out I wasn't and it got me thinking....

-Julie
mom to Zachary, 8/31/04

[nancy926]

I was not interested in even thinking about #2 until DD was about 18 months old. I still didn't have AF back though, nor did I really have much of a sex drive....then AF came back right before she turned 2, along with my sex drive, and I got pregnant the first month! Not entirely on purpose, but we had talked about #2 and were both up for it, and didn't even think about using protection....

So...I am kind of glad it happened "by accident", or at least without a lot of planning. I'm 36, btw, so we wanted it to happen soon, anyway!



Nancy

[oceanbaby]

I have a secret fantasy about number 3 being an accident. I don't think I have the guts to actually plan for a third, but I would really love just one more.

[artgoddess]

That is our "plan" for #2. DS #1 was a surprise baby, but we would like him to be around 3 (or older is okay) before giving him a younger sibling. So our plan (losely called plan) is to just stop being careful when DS turns 2. Then if not expecting by B-day #3 we'll start "trying".

By the way when DS turn 3 I will be 36, meaning possibly 37 when #2 comes along, and I'm open #3 after that. I have many women frinds who have had their first past 35 and few past 40, one is 43 and pregnant with #2. I used to feel like I *had* to be done by 35 or just no more. Now that I am a mom I know that magic #35 is just a superficial age put upon mothers so OB's can cover their butts for any possible problems.

[eminer]

That is one of the reasons dh and I don't plan. Neither of us can decide anything. :-) (We would TTA if we needed to prevent very close spacing or if a serious problem with having another child arose.) With dd it was pretty cool to watch my fertility slowly return and kind of know that the time was probably soon, but not be responsible for trying to make it happen. The natural spacing seems just perfect...but I know if it had been up to me, I might have jumped the gun sooner and gotten frustrated, or waited longer because of cold feet. Too much stress!

[nancy926]

Hey artgoddess,
35 is the "magic age" because that's when the Down syndrome curve starts going up measurably. It's still a very low risk, but obviously different from women 34 and younger. I've seen one website with a great year-by-year graph showing the risk ,but now of course i can't find it. THere's a less impressive graph here.

I also have many friends and acquaintances having babies when they're older than the "magic age" - myself included! One of my friends (39) just had her first, and a good friend of hers (45) had twins last spring!


Nancy