Clucky - I stopped seeing my mw at 28 weeks. DH and I had already agreed we would UC, and *I* felt that the appts were a waste of time (and just more opportunity for the mw to pressure me into things I didn't want), but DH had been getting reassurance each visit that things were "okay". Like you and your DH, my DH didn't seem to see what I did from the mw (I felt fairly early on that she wasn't hearing me, didn't respect my wishes, etc, and DH sort of blew me off and thought I was overreacting/exaggerating). Well, at my 28ish week visit, the mw told us that she could no longer see us if I refused a) Doppler at EVERY visit and during labor and b) u/s at 37/38 weeks. Both of which I had been VERY clear about from our very first visit, that I would not be doing. So we just didn't go back, since it was clear that our wishes were not respected (nor was our time, since she had known for so long my standing on those points, and it was pretty clear that she thought she could just wait until it was "too late" for us to find other care and pressure me into it - guess not).
Anyway, I was VERY pleased that DH was finally able to see what I had been saying about the mw not respecting my wishes, and DH was glad that she had made it so clear. DH had been thinking that we could UC, but have the mw/birth center as a backup in case we (he, lol) thought things weren't quite right. He was glad that the mw outed herself before we got to that point (not that *I* was going along with his plan, but I'm glad that b/c of the mw's actions, the birth center is no longer in DH's head as a backup).
I must say that since we stopped the prenatal appts, *I* have been so much more at peace - in general! Going to the prenatals was causing me a lot of stress, some of which I realized, but some of which was sort of behind the scenes. It was hard for me b/c I didn't want to be going, but DH wanted to and I wanted to do everything I could to make him comfortable with UC, but yet I felt like I was lying to the mw (in the end, I don't care about that, b/c SHE was lying to us, but anyway) - I wasn't, I avoided talking about specific plans for the delivery b/c I knew I wouldn't be involving her in that.
I'm glad we're not doing prenatals anymore - I've looked at it as an opportunity to tune in to my intuition rather than depend on an outsider to tell me the baby's fine, or my fundus is XXX. I don't need someone else to tell me that my baby's growing - I can feel the kicks and see my belly expanding. I can be surprised when baby kicks a little higher than he/she has before, and know that he/she is growing just fine. If I really need to know, I can measure my fundus myself - but I've found that recently I'm not too concerned about it (when you feel like you're choking on baby feet, you don't really tend to believe that baby's not growing, yk? lol).
We have felt nothing but positive results from stopping the prenatal visits - remember, though, *I* was not loving my mw anyway. Someone who really liked her mw might feel differently - the visits might not be a stress, she might not feel she had to gear up to defend her wishes every month, she might be able to just relax and enjoy an hour of chit-chat about her pregnancy. That wasn't my experience, though, so quitting the prenatals was something we really should have done earlier.
As far as getting a birth certificate, well, *I* don't know what *I* have to do, either. I'm not letting that stop me. I've just told myself that I won't worry about it until I need to (after the baby's here) - I have to remind myself that babies are born UC all the time by accident - they still manage to get bcs, right. And we are doing a newborn exam, but I don't really see why that would be a hold-up to you - have you interviewed peds/family practitioners yet? Have someone in mind? Just give him/her a call after baby's here (whenever YOU decide) and set up that newborn appt. That is, if you want. We will do the PKU test about a week after birth, so we will have a newborn appt sometime before then. Our family practitioner wants us to call him as soon as the baby's born, but if we don't feel that's necessary, then we'll just wait a couple days and give us all a chance to adjust to the new one first. It'll still be a newborn exam, yk?
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Whew! A bunch of us are getting close! I've finally let myself acknowledge that the baby will be here sometime this month. I've not wanted to think it could be too soon, for fear I would start getting antsy if baby didn't appear when *I* thought it should..... but realistically, baby *should* get here sometime in February. My mom will be getting here the 16th, so anytime after that will be fine with me (there is a tiny part of me that wonders if that's cutting it too close, but I'm still feeling pretty spry - for as pregnant as I am, lol - and not as miserable as I think I would if baby's arrival were very imminent). I think I'll plan on going out to eat with either DH or my mom that next weekend, and either I'll have a nice evening out, or our plans will be interrupted by baby - either way will be fine by me, lol.
I need to sit down and find some time to read all the birthstories - maybe this weekend I can do that. DS tends to interrupt me when I try to read them, and I really want to give them my full attention. Congratulations to everyone, anyway!
Gotta go, DS is fussing around. I'm hoping to sit down with a nice cup of tea over the weekend and soak in the beauty of the birth stories.
Kinsey
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