Having #2, #3 etc.: How are you coping?

[P-chan]

I'd love to hear from mamas who are pregnant with #2, #3, and beyond about how you are coping with the kid(s) outside and the kid(s?!) inside.

I have a 20-month-old son who tires me out when I'm feeling 100%. The past few days nausea kicked in mid-morning, which is usually a very active, outdoorsy time for us. At one point yesterday I was lying on the couch with my eyes closed, reciting from memory the words to a picture book that Little P was holding! Maybe he's taking cues from me, or maybe he's coming down with a cold, but it seems like he's been a little less demanding lately--content staying home and looking at books, for example. For which I am thankful. On the other hand, he seems to be giving up his nap, although he will lie in arms for 30 minutes or so. I usually doze off and he plays with his fingers.

During my first pregnancy I loved thinking about the little bean in there, all snug and warm and growing. I still get those sweet feelings, but only when I'm alone and I have to savor them while I can. I don't think it's even hit me yet that Little P will have to go through such a transition to learn to share his parents with a new little one. It is a big messy pile of emotions, isn't it?

[leahdbc]

I do the same thing - sometimes I think 'oh, how wonderful it will be to have a little larger family. Gabriel will be such a sweet big brother'. Then, I get all teary eyed thinking how hard it could be for him to see someone else nursing, someone else in the bed....' I have to remind myself how many other families out there survive beyond 1 child :

And I have had the opposite of your experience thus far. Gabes has been super demanding, nurses all day long and will not play alone. The plus is that he will play on the bed for a little mid-morning rest but it doesn't last long. So I work and get quiet time at night when the guys are asleep. oh, and I bought a laptop with wireless internet so I have at least half a chance to get work done during the day

the changes will be fun for sure

[Serenity]

my son, 2 1/2 , seems to get more demanding and loud when he senses i don't feel well. so the nausea, headaches, and fatigue i've been having have been setting him off. i've explained to him i don't feel well and need to lie down and i think that upsets him. i've been trying to cuddle him while i lay down or read him books though.

should be interesting. i think this sibling will be the best thing in the world for him though, he is afraid of his peers and i think he needs a friend at home.

[mamabeth]

My 2 year old dd is getting more demanding too, usually when I have less patience. She is definitely giving up her nap and that's going to be really hard, too. She is very wiggly, almost never snuggly, and it drives me crazy right now. I'm trying to give her lots of hugs and read stories and stuff, but wow, it's going to be interesting. She also always wants to eat half my meal and I am NOT cool with that right now.

I also go back and forth between being so glad that she'll have a sibling pretty close in age to feeling like I've cheated her out of something. Nursing really hurts and we're down to once a day, but last night dh put her to bed because I was gone and she cried when she realized I wasn't there. But mostly I think it'll be worth it...my brother and I are about the same distance apart and have always been able to play together/hang out. It definitely is a mixed bag and soooo different from the first time in so many ways.

[onlyboys]

This is my fourth baby. So, I'm caring for two at home, while my 3rd grader goes off to school with Dad every day.

My 3 year old and my 16 month old are great. But, it might be because it's still really early, and also because this is a BTDT situation for me.

With my first pregnancy, I, too did the whole inwardly focused pregnancy; concentrating on me and the baby within me. With the second, I was busy with the first. With the third, I was busy with the first and the second: you get the picture. It's a little bittersweet to watch your pregnancy slip by without so much as a extended pondering, but it does show that the pregnancy is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of parenting. A really important and exciting iceberg, but still just the beginning.

The pregnancies keep getting faster and faster. I've found that they keep getting better too, which may explain why I want to keep having kids! :LOL

The fatigue is what kills me and so when my husband gets home, it's his time to be the jungle gym and I get some much needed rest. I'm not ashamed to ask for help at all!

[teachinmaof3]

This is my fourth as well. I'm SOOOOOO tired!!!! I forgot how much early pregnancy can wear you out! :LOL When I get tired I just try to take a break and remind myself that I need to rest!

I've been pretty queasy in the mornings but I just have to fight it and go on. The days of not having anyone else to take care of and being able to lay around until it passes are LONG gone!! lol!

My girls have been just fine...of course, they don't know yet that I am pregnant. If I do need to rest, they are really good about playing together.

I'm trying my best to savor every minute of this pregnancy....as it will most likey be my last.

[Snicwix]

Originally Posted by P-chan

I'd love to hear from mamas who are pregnant with #2, #3, and beyond about how you are coping with the kid(s) outside and the kid(s?!) inside.

It is a big messy pile of emotions, isn't it?

Yes, it is! I work full time during the day, so I still get some time to myself, thoughts-wise. If I try to work everything out in my mind about how it's going to be, I get overwhelmed. I am just trying to take things as they come. It is a lot take in. Good thing pregnancy lasts 9 months!

[P-chan]

pregnancy is only the tip of the iceberg in terms of parenting. A really important and exciting iceberg, but still just the beginning.

Thank you for writing this! It is a good reminder to keep things in perspective.

I wish everyone lots of rest, long naps, and happy siblings-to-be! Little P napped only once this week, but I'm crossing my fingers for today.

[butterflykisses]

I am pregnant with #3 and I find by 7pm I am utterly exhausted..I go to bed at 9pm lately..the nausea has not been as bad as the fatigue :

[KermitMissesJim]

This is #3, and I'm mostly dealing with fatigue. I'm down for the count by 6 PM.

As for dealing with going from 2 kids to 3? Denial.

[farmer mama]

Oh, it is so good to hear I am not the only one that is this exhausted! I am on #3 and I am sooo tired by the time the kids bedtime rolls around (7:30). It makes me sad because usually the time after the kids go to bed is my time to relax, work on projects, or hang out with dh. But last night I laid down for about an hour before dinner, and I was able to stay up and watch a movie after the kids were in bed. Ds is nursing a lot, so I think that is adding to my lack of energy. I went swimming yesterday which felt nice but I was on the verge of throwing up the whole time. I am thinking my energy will be back by the second trimester, hopefully.

[GenMomof4+1]

This is #5 so I'm promising myself I won't be as whiny this time. As if. But my DH is wonderful with supporting my needs and helping with all the kids. If I feel sick he gets upset if I try to do any cleaning or cooking. My first three are much older than my 4th so they help entertain her and that makes things easier. Plus the fatigue and nausea haven't really kicked in much yet so all this could change.

[aishy]

I get the feeling that i'm in for a very exhausting spring/summer. Nausia kicked in RIGHT away (from conception) and the boys are enjoying my cravings. haha.

aisling

[butterflykisses]

I second the DENIAL :

[kerc]

ok mamas. I know that tandem nursing is not for me. dd is nursing 1x a day right now, with a bit of nipple tenderness so it is kinda rough).

should we actively think about weaning? should i not worry?

[GenMomof4+1]

From what I've read it is safe to nurse while pregnant. Sometime around the 5th month I think your milk production will drop. Many nurslings will stop on there own at this point. Some will stop earlier because the taste of the milk changes. Since you are only nursing once a day it will probably be pretty simple to wean in a few months.

My 20 month old nurses allllll day long. I did finally get her to stop night nursing though which is great because I need better sleep now.

[kerc]

that's good to know. I am totally not a touchy person and can't possibly imagine nursing two babies. Mentally it was supremely hard for me to handle one baby nursing 24/7 until she walked....hence the reason we are down to one nursing now.

[2boys1husband3cats]

I'm still in shock right now that I'm pg. I know that with my 2nd son the pregnancy went much faster - but I also had a lot fewer complications. Having 2 to care for will definitely keep me busy, but I don't mind not being very introspective while pg.