formula in my grocery cart - Page 3

[Viola]

Originally Posted by azedazobollis

Have you done this? Have you almost done this?

Have you?

I don't look in other people's carts and make judgments about what they buy. I know that some people do. We are all human beings trying to live together. I'm sorry you were hurt.

[crayon]

I understand your anger- I must admit however, I would be one that would be giving an odd look Weird, becasue my BIL has custody of his DD and he got her from CPS at 2 weeks old. He lived with DH and I at the time and I had not had any kids so we had not boob milk going on in my house, so I was like you sling a baby and feeding formula. I guess even when I have been in that situation I dont think that others have too... I feel so sorry for these babies that have such a birth right to mama milk and are put in situations where the parent is unfit to provide basic rights to the child. I am so glad there are people like you that will sling a baby and hold it close to you heart- how much that is needed. I am sure my niece gained a great deal having me to hold her and mother her those first few weeks and months- and then her grandma too over most of her care.

I am sorry you were looked down on.

[darsmama]

I try and cover up the formula in my grocery cart every time I go to the grocery store. I feel so embarassed and its a horrible ordeal.
I shouldn't be embarassed though, I should be proud actually. I'm making a sacrifice 'looking bad' , feeling bad, and being judged just so I can supply my baby Dar with something to eat.. Whats more motherly then that?

[Meiri]

That's just the thing, Dar, you shouldn't feel bad, and I don't think you should be embarrassed either. Need is what AIM is for, just like anything else. If it's needed, then you get it.

What was that quote about Choosing to FF versus Needing to and having the intellectual honesty to recognize the difference?

I remind myself that I don't know what's going on if I'm ever tempted to judge. I most assuredly would not say a word though.

[saritabeth]

This is just crazy! I can't believe anyone said anything to you about what you were buying!!!! I am not exactly sure what I would have said, but Im pretty sure it would have been equally rude if not worse.

I might have said to my baby loud enough for the whole store to here... "oh sweet baby, isn't it a shame that those nasty ladies are being so judgemental when they have no idea what they are talking. about!..that's okay baby, we know how to be nice anyway, dont we!"

Honestly, I don't want strangers saying anything about the way I am raising my child. I totaly bf my babe, however, there are loads of good reasons why people choose not to bf or are unable to, or didn't have the support they needed to get it going. Its stupid smug attitudes like that, that just make mamas feel isolated. It's busy bodies who add their unwanted two cents at check out that make ff mama's really lump all the breastfeeding world into the mama-on-a-high-horse category.

I hate being judged by strangers.

s to you.

Okay...my rant is over

Sarah

[MaxsMom]

As another fostermom who has been in your shoes, I just wanted to add my voice to the "been there" chorus.

I was a staunch bfeeding mom, until we became foster parents - first to a 3 month old who had been on formula for several months, and then to a 2 month old that had been exclusively breastfed. No one told me he was breastfed - I am sure the worker never even bothered to ask as it was an emergency situation - and he didn't know how to use a rubber nipple....... It took me a while, and several styles of nipples, before I realized he had been breastfed, and it broke my heart.

Another nasty situation I encountered was using the food stamps CPS gave me to buy the formula. I had one nasty comment after another about it. It was horrible, and I began gracery shopping at night.

We are in the process of adopting a not-yet-born infant, and I am in the beginning stages of re-lactation (I weaned my son 2 years ago, so maybe it doesn't count as relactation). I know I am going to have to supplement, at least for a time, with formula. I hope I am not judged again, as I am feeling fairly emotionally fragile about the entire situation, and very nervous about the chances of breastfeeding successfully.

I just wanted to lend my support, and understanding. Foster parenting is a rewarding challenge, filled with love and tears.

[arty_mum]

thank you for sharing all of your stories , as some of you said, it is important to be occassionally reminded that things are not always what they seem, and that one musn't jump to conclusions about anything- it is heartwarming to see how women, even strangers in a supermarket, can connect and be supportive, and share such intimate moments, that can sometimes make all the difference...

[Ruthla]

I just want to add another comment about making snap judgements of people.

Just yesterday, I was in the WIC office for about 40 minutes. There was one mom there with 3 little ones- 6m, about 2, and about 3 or 4. She was holding the baby for about 30 of those 40 minutes- when the baby was lying in the stroller drinking a propped bottle, with her mother right there next to her. As soon as the bottle was finished, she went right back into Mommy's arms.

I'm not condoning bottle propping, but this particular infant got plenty of holding even without being fed in arms. It's not fair to judge somebody as "detachment parenting" just because you see a propped bottle.

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by Ruby Pearl

That must be so time consuming. Thank goodness for dedicated foster parents.

Not once the baby gets used to it, take the same amount of time to feed as a bottle. Setting up the SNS takes a little extra time though.