School Dress Codes? Opinions?

[Shann]

I almost put this in the "Mohawk" thread, but then decided that it deserved it's own spot...
After talking to some friends of mine in other (smaller) communitites, I have come to the conclusion that I have yet another reason to be glad that I live in a big city: silly school dress codes. My friends (many who are not at all conservative, let's say) have been frustrated with their kids' schools' stringent dress codes. Some of these schools won't allow long hair on boys, different hair color, mohawks, earrings for boys, cutoff jeans, holey jeans, etc, etc. Luckily, the school system where my boys (ages 9 and 7) go doesn't have any real dress codes to speak of. Kids can wear cutoffs, holey jeans (which my boys LIVE IN, by the way!), any hair color or hairstyle they want, and can even come to school in periods of warm weather in barefeet if they wish (my boys LOVE that!). I guess I don't see the purpose of such strict dress codes as long as there is no disruption going on (and I can't imagine how hairstyle or color. etc. can be disruptive). My boys have shoulder length hair and often have streaks of blue or green or even pink. They also have their earrings. And no one ever says anything to them at school, thankfully. Most of the kids in their school have also experimented with styles like punk or even goth (I think pre-teen goth kids are VERY cute ! hehe). There has never been any problem or incident with such a system in their school. What are everyone else's thoughts? Any horror stories to share? Any battle you have fought and won (or lost)?

[cmb123]

Originally Posted by Shann

can even come to school in periods of warm weather in barefeet if they wish (my boys LOVE that!).

Where do you live?! I'm moving!!!!

[kofduke]

Well, we live in a spendy suburban area, so I like the idea of dress codes...that way no one can look down on the kids that can't afford $300 jeans and $200 sneakers. It also makes it quite a bit easier to get dressed in the morning! Although I don't really know if the dress codes extend beyond the clothes themselves to things like hairstyles.

[Elphaba]

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[Shellby]

well, i went to school in Australia where all schools - private and government -wear uniforms. the government rules are a little laxer, but i went to a catholic girls school. your dress had to touch the ground when you were kneeling, hair ribbons had to be in school colours. no more than two earings in each ear. no make up, no jewelry. hair had to be neat. and you couldnt wear your sweater home without wearing a blazer (like a jacket) home on top of it.
as for boys schools, i have read in the paper of boys being suspended for wearing hairspray because of teachers and other students sensitivity to colognes and scents. so definetly no hairstyles that the school didnt approve of.
did i mind? well, no. i knew what i was wearing every day. it was easy to keep track of what needed washing so i had clean dresses. i wore the same things to school until i grew out of them. so my parents only had to buy me clothes for school twice in six years.
we still had opportunities to express ourselves in our dress style on casual days and excursions. personally, i found those days to be the ones where i realised how uncool i was and how much money we didnt have compared with the other girls.
as an adult looking back, i think that dress codes and uniforms are a good idea and i wish that schools in canada (where i live now) had them as well.

[annakiss]

Moved to Learning at School...

[CarrieMF]

IMO this has nothing to do with whether you live in a big city or a small town, strict dress codes can be in either place.

In my hometown the rules are the same as they are in the schools here(other than the catholic school). No profanity, no hats in the schools. There has been talk in the middle and high schools here about putting in restrictions on how short girls pants/skirts can be but it hasn't gone anywhere beyond that. In my hometown things like that aren't a concern. Beyond that there are no rules for dress code. I think it is ridiculous to say how a person can wear their hair, makeup, earings, etc

[EFmom]

I have mixed feelings about dress codes. Dh is a high school teacher. We are not particularly conservative people, but I do think that there are some things that simply shouldn't be worn to school.

Dh's school prohibits profanity, drug, alcohol, or violence-related slogans on t-shirts, and I think that's a good idea. They also ban hats, which I also think is good.

They have a new administration which is trying to prohibit certain things like tank tops and extremely short skirts or clothing, and bellies hanging out. I think that's reasonable, too. I don't have anything against kids wearing that clothing elsewhere, but I don't think it belongs in school.

I would be against restricting hairstyles or non-noisemaking jewelry in most cases. However, he has had one student whose hair is a freakshow. The kid puts glue in it, and spikes it all out. It is very long, and it sticks out two feet in all directions. He hangs ornaments on the spikes that make noise every time he moves his head. I think that's too distracting and makes it too hard for other kids to see around.

[Leatherette]

When I was teaching high school, I had a student who was really bright, but got into trouble and didn't come to school much. He began coming more, writing really amazing stories, and one day, the principal suspended him for wearing a hat in school (knit cap with no offensive anything on it) and refusing to take it off. He never came back. Now that's ridiculous.

That said, I think some rules are legitimate. Like if someone is barely dressed, or wearing an offensive slogan, that is really disruptive.

And mohawks are fine, just have them sit in the back of the class or to the side. Ten gallon hats, too.

But I agree that most of the rules are ridiculous.

L.

[elyice]

I love dress codes. I just love them. Like many other aspects of child rearing, I have done a 180 degree switch on this one. I used to think they were creatively and emotionally repressive and reeked of a military enviornment. I thouigh they sent a subliminal message to kids that thy must be the same, look the same and think the same.
Then I enrolled my daughter in a school that required them. I was amazed at how easy and simple it was to purchase clothes and amazed at how easy it was for her to get ready. She often wore the same items (washed of course) over again, to school in one week. I then reflected on how TRAUMATIC it was for me to attend school as 1 of 9 children from a family on a tight budget. Alhthough my clothes were clean, they were NOT new and not the latest styles. Rather they were hand-me downs from my oldests siblings. I was teased and taunted for years. I hated school for the social aspect, I still cringe when I think of that feeling I had. When I was in grade school through high school, it was not only "uncool", it was notorious to "repeat". You could not wear the same outfit for a 2 week span or It was horrible. I also remember my brother refusing to go to school in his old clothes. He was in jr high. He later dropped out of high school. I know that if he had not been teased and tortured for years ( like I was) he would have gone to school. So I love uniforms, and I wish I would have had to wear them.

[mamangazelle]

My daughter's school doesn't have a dresscode, but sometimes I wish it did: it is sometimes very complicated to find something she feels like wearing on this particular day.

When I was in High school, I had a uniform, and was very happy about it. The only thing I needed to be careful about were shoes and socks (they were VERY important ). I was one of the "poor" kids (because I was in a private school, not because we were really poor) and I was glad I didn't have to compete with cool or expensive clothes.

[Greaseball]

When I transferred to a new high school and saw boys hanging out in the halls wearing long skirts, lace t-shirts, hair glitter and makeup, I knew I had found the best school ever.

I can see banning stuff like racist shirts, or those with alcohol/drugs/profanity, but I wouldn't want my children in a school that didn't allow mohawks, purple hair, makeup, piercings or long hair on boys. I want them exposed to a large variety of people and different styles of dress.

At my old high school, my best friend, who happened to be a guy, was suspended for wearing a skirt. Another friend of mine, who happened to be female, was able to wear a suit and tie to school without incident.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Like many things, I am OK with a sensible set of restrictions on student dress and ornamentation, but it can get carried away. There are lots of reasons to ban certain types of clothing or ornamentation that make sense to me: safety, things that are gang related (not so much because because of gang membership but because of the tragedy that could happen if someone innocently wore the "wrong" thing), anything that is so distracting that other cannot work (e.g. micro-mini's, holey jeans (because some of those holes show a lot!), and anything that glofiies alcohol/drugs/tobacco. Those restrictions I can live with because I think the good they do is better than the debateble harm. I also agree that dress codes should be the exact same for girls and boys (e.g. if boy's earings are banned, girl's should be too). Things like hair color (unless its under the gang related category), hair length, and such seem like going overboard. Of course, this applies only to public schools -- private schools should be free to institute whatever uniform or dress code they want because you buy into the values of the school when you chose to pay their tuition.

[Greaseball]

I know some public schools have experimented with uniforms, but nothing seems to come of it.

I went to the only high school in the district that did not require girls to wear bras. I think if a girl has to wear a bra, a boy should have to wear an undershirt. Some schools do not allow girls to show their shoulders, while boys can.

One point about dress codes that was made in the local paper was that black students are sometimes expected to show less skin than white students. At one school, there was a dress code related to the length of shorts and skirts, and several black students were sent to the office for wearing items shorter than allowed. But when the garment was measured, it was found to be within the allowed limit.

[LiamnEmma]

well, in this case, it seems that the dress codes are discriminatory. I'll give you an example. One of the instructional aides I work with in my district dresses in drag outside of work. But this does mean that he sometimes has false nails on and his hair is often dyed some bright color. Several times my previous boss (now retired) commented that she wished she could direct him to take off the nails--her own issue, she owned it--but that she couldn't do it. If women are allowed to wear earrings, so are the men. If men are allowed to wear pants, so are the women. In my opinion, and I suspect in the opinion of the courts, unless there is a regulation (not even arguing the ridiculousness of the reg, just making a point) that bans the wearing of earrings entirely, the district is not able to ban them because of a Y chromosome. I think that as a parent, no, scratch that, as a person, I'd be making a great big noisy fuss about those rules. They are discriminatory. Period.

Now, my own personal opinion is that I agree with some regulations. I do prefer not to see gang-associated attire on a campus, and I'm glad the district I work in and the district I live in both adhere to this. However I do believe that kids should be allowed to express some individuality and experiment with colors, make-ups, etc. Egads, if hair dying and piercing are the only issues you have to worry about, I think you're doing great! I, for one, hope those are the only rebellions my kids go through!

[Charles Baudelaire]

I teach HS, so here's my input.

I teach at a school which has a mid-serious dress code -- that is, it's more serious than a "navy blue pants and white shirts for everyone" dress code, but more than the average school in our area.

Overall, I really like it. In my old school, every day was the Pimp 'n' Ho parade down the halls -- girls wearing skirts and pants cut so low you could tell they'd never had a c-section, guys looking like gangsta wannabees, you name it.

I appreciate teenagers dressed like normal people -- shirts, pants, Gothwear, athletic wear, whatever. I don't think it's appropriate to wear shirts with profanity, drug, or alcohol references on them, but I have no problem with fuchsia hair or multiple piercings or spikes as long as they're not a major distraction.

Mostly, I think it's appropriate to give teenagers latitude in what they wear, just like we give adults, but with some of the same restrictions that adults have to deal with also. It's only fair.

[threeforme2005]

My girls go to a private school and they have a dress code. Now they don't have to wear the same "uniform" every day, but their clothes do have to fall within the guidelines they set. Their hair has to be neat and natural in color. They can't have body piercings except for their ears and that's limited to one hole on each lobe. I happen to LOVE it! Like an earlier poster said...it makes getting ready so easy and so quick in the mornings. They have a handful of shirts, pants or skirts to pick from and that's it. All their friends look the same so there is no competition on who's parents have more money etc. I'm all for a dress code

[Greaseball]

I'd consider a private school with uniform, but only if it was equal - meaning teachers also have to wear a uniform, teachers also can't dye their hair or wear more than one earring, etc.

With the piercings, I wonder what they do about students who have multiple piercings as part of some kind of religious or cultural significance.

I've also heard uniforms don't do much to reduce envy because students are allowed to wear their own shoes, jackets and jewelry. If your family doesn't have much money, it's going to be known even if the students do all dress the same.

[threeforme2005]

I agree with you Greaseball. At my girls school the teachers have to dress very conservatively and they have to follow the same guidelines with their hair, makeup and jewelry as well. We really like that about the school. But you are right about the kids wearing their own shoes, jackets, etc. They all have their own style and some of the kids are wealthier than others...however... the way I look at it is you aren't going to get a lot of really "poor" families sending their kids to private schools because they have to be able to afford the tuition and fees. I do know that the school has some money set aside for a handful of families each year that need financial aid and then it may be an issue, but the kids don't seem to make money an issue. I may just not be aware of it happening too you know?

[carolsly]

I'm sorry but I am conservitive when it comes to clothes. There are beautiful, fashionable clothes that do not show clevage and are appealing to the eye. I hope to raise my children to believe that clothes are just something to cover the body. I do wear fashionable clothing and buy fashionable clothing for my children (much of it on sale or by trading). We do not own clothing that brings attention to any part of the body but the face.

I do approve of dress codes. Mostly because there are some parents are not as dilegent about their childrens clothing as others. How strict it is..now that is another story. If your child ends up at a school where you think the dress code is too strict..change it from the inside. Become a member of the PTA, make friends with members of the school board. Teach your children about how government works.

If your children are getting picked on by school mates because of their clothes..notify the school authorities..most schools have no tolerance rules as far as teasing etc.