Anyone Deliver at Home & Stay at Hospital?

[heldt123]

I'm curious if any of you have given birth at home, assisted or unassisted, and then went to the hospital afterward for a checkup and short stay.

With my first birth (vaginal), I disliked the interventions at birth, but LOVED the pampered two day stay in the hospital! You know, they bring you food and water and you get to lay in bed and enjoy the baby. The hospital that I'm now going to has the nicest staff and I really like my doctor. And they have this new, awesome roomservice food program that just sounds soo good! I know that there is no way that I'd get that kind of rest and service at home.

What do you think? Is it unethical to go to the hospital for a short stay after giving birth at home, even if it is only for one day? Do they even let you do that? Is it worth it for the hassle they may or may not give you for birthing at home? Forgive me if I'm a little clueless on this one.

[guerrillamama]

i did, but only b/c my homebirth was not planned, so the paramedics came and got me & baby and took us to the hospital. i did NOT want to be there (they took the baby away for hours and put him on the circ list w/o my consent!) and left ASAP (they won't let anyone out in less than 24 hrs, even w/ dr permission).

your hospital sounds very different from mine, to say the least.

[khrisday]

My dd was born at home, and then taken to the hospital due to complications. The hospital would not so much as give me an aspirin because *I* was not the patient. I don't believe you can stay in the hospital for recoverey if you haven't delivered there in most places.

[heldt123]

guerrillamama - That doesn't sound good, sorry you had a bad experience. The first hospital I stayed at had a permission slip that you would have to sign if you wanted the baby circed, as they considered it an unecessary procedure. They were pretty good with letting me have Nathan right away. I nursed him right after they cut the cord and they took him for a brief check after that. The only thing that irked me was that they talked me into letting him go to the nursery at night instead of rooming in--I didn't know any better at the time. The second night they kept him waaaay too long in my opinion and gave him a pacifier (they did ask and again, I didn't know any better). But if I go to the hospital again, I will have rooming in for sure.

No asprin! Nice, hu?

[Jemper]

Have you considered hiring a post partum doula? Sounds like you are looking for some pampering, which will be *much* easier to achieve in the comfort of your own home.

[Artisan]

You would basically have to show up and pretend to have had a labor that went too fast -- an unintended homebirth. And then you'd have to get asked all kinds of questions, defend yourself, ask why you didn't call the paramedics, who your doctor was, where are your charts, etc. Because the baby wasn't checked out by a pediatrician immediately after birth, they would probably want to bring him or her to the nursery for a long round of tests and monitoring. It would take a big toll emotionally, I think.

Hospitals are also *very* germy. You are much more likely to get an infection there, as your body is accustomed to the germs in your own home. You would have to be away from your DS, your DH would probably have to go home at a certain time to care for him, leaving you alone in the hospital, bored and exhausted.

Wow, I have painted a lovely picture, haven't I? Sorry to be such a downer, but I do think what I said is true -- it would probably end up being traumatic for you. I had my second in a birth center and went home 7 hours later, and it was WONDERFUL. To be able to sleep in my own king sized bed, to be able to introduce DS to his sister, to eat my own food, wear my own robe, watch my own TV, use my own pillows, my own phone. It was really nice.

You can always hire a post partum doula (as the pp suggested) or have a friend or relative come help you. I had a friend who offered to help come stay with me for a week -- she was great with my DS.

Or you can always just order DH around.

[jraohc]

Instead of trying to get admitted to the hospital, hire someone to do that pampering at home. It's possibly more expensive monetarily (depending on what your insurance plan is like), but it's almost certainly healthier and potentially emotionally and psychologically better to stay home and hire help. When you hire someone, just be specific with what you want - someone to plan and cook you meals, keep things clean, make sure you don't have to get out of bed, etc.

[kathma26]

You don't want to. I was suppose to go to a hospital and just waited to long. After dh caught the baby he called 911. So minutes later I was riding in a ambulance. I would rather have been laying around. They did not treat us to badly. They did try to tell me that she needed eye ointments because I was postitive for GBS 5 weeks before.

[heldt123]

Thank you for the good suggestions about staying home. In our situation, our insurance covers any doctor or medical bills 100% and we could never come up with the money to hire someone--thus why we don't have a midwife (not to mention she is 2-1/2 hours away). I guess the hospital seems soo appealing to me as I don't enjoy being at home and don't have any friends or relatives that would come over to help. The last hospital stay left a good memory in my mind of being the only day or two of almost vacation that I've had since before we got married 4-1/2 years ago. The hubby was a great birth attendant, but a lousy pamperer. I'd end up doing everything right away. I'm not sure what we will end up doing, I just lothe the idea of being in the house doing dishes and cooking right after having a baby. Oh well, it probably isn't worth the trouble.

[~Megan~]

I would be afraid of things they might force or try to force me into. With dd she was laying in my arms the whole time so they had no opportunity to take her without me knowing. Still scary to think about though.

I did like my stay though, being waited on, good food, quiet so I could sleep all I wanted.

[applejuice]

To the OP:

Frankly, for the pampering you are looking forward to, I think the local Hilton or Holiday Inn would be better able to attend to your needs.

It would be cheaper.

Your baby would not be taken from you.

The food is better.

No nosocomial infections.

No iatrogenic problems.

No one wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you a sleeping pill.

Hope you get the pampering you need ... every new mommy deserves it!

[kavamamakava]

I had a vaginal tear that was too complicated for home repair so I spent the night at the hospital. The staff was very nice but I was glad to be home. I DID have "room service" and all that at home too. My mom brought me all my meals in bed and dh and my mom were available to help at all times.
With my 2nd, she had to go to the NICU for amniotic fluid in the lungs. I did not stay at the hospital and that was rough But I hired a post partum doula who came for 2-3 hours a day and brought me meals in bed and scrubbed the tub clean and filled it with herbs so I could have a sitz bath. She also gave me back massages and did some light cleaning so I had an uncluttered space to rest and recover. She made me mother's milk tea to help my milk come in faster and would put a pot of soup on so I could have easy to eat food for the rest of the day. I had a doula come for 3 weeks total.
If you can do that, I would recommend it over a hospital stay. This time around, I've also hired a post partum doula again. I'm in a different state and the ones here are super expensive but I got lucky and found one willing to give me a discounted rate. She's so sweet. She's an old nun and not quite the image I had in mind, but she says it's her service to support mothers and children and has called me and asked if it's alright if she comes longer on days when I could use her help without charging me. Someone sent me an angel

[annethcz]

I have a friend who gave birth at home in her bathtub. It was unplanned, she simply didn't make it to the hospital in time. She & baby were transported to the hospital by the paramedics. She did stay in the hospital for a few days after that, although there were no birth complications. She was chewed out by her doctor several times for being so stupid and doing something so dangerous as giving birth at home. She was was treated poorly by the hospital staff as well. I doubt that you're planning to use this particular hospital, since I'm on the other end of the state. But this is a hospital that has a pretty good reputation for birthing options, and it was horrible for my friend.

I think that if you want to be pampered, a postpartum doula is the way to go. Most hospitals do not provide pampering, that is not their function. I agree that it is nice to have people take care of you and bring you food... but a friend or PP doula could do this much better than a hospital could.

[muse]

I had a successful homebirth but went in for stitches with a third degree tear. Once there they were worried about DS's breathing and subsequently kept us in for 3 days. it was torturous, Dh had to leave early in the evening and then I was stuck alone with Ds and in a room with a mom who's baby would not stop screaming all night, the mom was in tears and the nurses kept trying to force formula on her baby. They kept whisking DS away for tests and leaving me stressing alone in my room. the lights were turned on like every half hour through the night and they kept waking me up to do random tests and stuff. And the food sucked. Luckily friends delivered meals. It was not restful at all and I was soooo relieved to get home.

Juts to play devils advocate, it sound to me it's time to sit down with your Dh and tell him exactly what you will be needing in the post partum days. Unless he has to go back to full time work immediately there's no reason he can't take responsibility. I don't get why husbands are let off the hook so easily. You should NOT be up cooking and cleaning. Also something we did to make things a little easier was prepare a week's worth of meals beforehand and freeze them, so there was nothing much for Dh to do, just whip it out and warm it up.

[heldt123]

Originally Posted by muse

Dh had to leave early in the evening and then I was stuck alone with Ds and in a room with a mom who's baby would not stop screaming all night, the mom was in tears and the nurses kept trying to force formula on her baby. They kept whisking DS away for tests and leaving me stressing alone in my room. the lights were turned on like every half hour through the night and they kept waking me up to do random tests and stuff. And the food sucked. Luckily friends delivered meals. It was not restful at all and I was soooo relieved to get home.

No private rooms?? Turned lights on during night?? Good grief, never had that happen. Sorry it was not pleasant for you. The hospitals up here have all private rooms with wirlpools. I don't recall them waking me up except to feed my son.

I do like the idea of freezing some meals ahead of time. Maybe if we get a window airconditioner it won't be so bad. Then I could send my hubby out for Subway. Last time when I got out the hospital we were in the process of moving. Half our stuff was at the apartment and half was at our house. The day I got home my husband was moving stuff and I was trying to unpack and find things, not to mention it was boiling hot with extremely high humidity. The floors were wet from the hot, humid air and I couldn't find anything. I remember finding a blanket to lay on the floor and sitting down to just cry. I just wanted to run right back to the hosiptal for a couple more days. (I'm one of the weirdos of the world that enjoys hospital food :LOL They brought me as much fruit and ice cream as I wanted )

[Artisan]

Originally Posted by muse

I had a successful homebirth but went in for stitches with a third degree tear. Once there they were worried about DS's breathing and subsequently kept us in for 3 days. it was torturous, Dh had to leave early in the evening and then I was stuck alone with Ds and in a room with a mom who's baby would not stop screaming all night, the mom was in tears and the nurses kept trying to force formula on her baby. They kept whisking DS away for tests and leaving me stressing alone in my room. the lights were turned on like every half hour through the night and they kept waking me up to do random tests and stuff. And the food sucked. Luckily friends delivered meals. It was not restful at all and I was soooo relieved to get home.

Did we got to the same hospital? I had a very similar experience. And this particular hospital has one of the top NICUs in the country, advertise their maternity services, etc.

[muse]

Originally Posted by reader

Did we got to the same hospital? I had a very similar experience. And this particular hospital has one of the top NICUs in the country, advertise their maternity services, etc.

I was in Berkeley, CA. The hospital has some insane amount of births per week, like a factory churning women and babies in and out constantly. I can't say it was as bad an experience a I'd imagined hospitals to be, but I would still rather be at home any day.

One of the upsides I've discovered to being in the UK with the hard pressed national health service is that (a) homebirths are fully supported, and (b) if I do transfer to hospital they won't keep me any extra time because they're so short of beds. Sounds fine to me. In the US I felt like they kept you as long as they knew the insurance was paying them $$.

[Artisan]

Originally Posted by muse

I was in Berkeley, CA. The hospital has some insane amount of births per week, like a factory churning women and babies in and out constantly. I can't say it was as bad an experience a I'd imagined hospitals to be, but I would still rather be at home any day.

One of the upsides I've discovered to being in the UK with the hard pressed national health service is that (a) homebirths are fully supported, and (b) if I do transfer to hospital they won't keep me any extra time because they're so short of beds. Sounds fine to me. In the US I felt like they kept you as long as they knew the insurance was paying them $$.

OK, so not the same place, but scary that what you described is happening in progressive Berkeley!

[be11ydancer]

Ick, I despise hospitals. Both of my births were at a local "nice" hospital and it stank. With my next birth, you won't get me near one unless there's an emergency. Sorry, but even if the hospital was nice I still wouldn't go. I love everyone's advice of hiring a postpartum doula.

[heldt123]

I think I have decided that if all goes well, we will just stay home. The idea of excess germs is scaring me away....