How do you talk to young children about Meat?

[IdentityCrisisMama]

How do you? Please include if your family eats meat or not.




We are honest about it (but a little vague) but it’s starting to feel strange. DC is three and is really interested in death. When I tell her what meat is she seems really confused, perturbed and asks lots of questions.

We eat meat. I must say, though, explaining the issue to my child is giving me some major vegetarian urges.

It’s really hard for me to reconcile telling DC that we don’t hit, hurt or disrespect animals but we can kill and eat them, yk?

[whateverdidiwants]

I'm coming at this from a totally different angle, since I'm vegan and am raising dd as one as well, at least until she's old enough to fully understand why I don't believe in eating meat.

I'm pretty lucky in that dd's dcp has taken them on field trips to petting zoos and farms, so dd has been able to see up close and touch and interact with all sorts of animals, which she has loved. The few times dd has asked about going to McDonalds or something (she's never been, and she's almost 3) I've told her that there is nothing there that we can eat because it all has meat in it, and meat comes from animals, and that we don't want to hurt animals. She seems to get it, as much as she can at her age.

I was raised in a big meat and potatoes/fast food family and I was very upset when I found out that the chickens in our back yard were going to end up as dinner, as were the pigs that my grandfather kept. I felt my parents had deliberately lied to me all those years (fwiw, I felt the same way when I learned the truth about Santa, et al) in order to get me to go along with what was convenient for them. I guess my point is, I don't agree with lying to children just because they're children. Tell your child the truth and let them make a decision about whether or not they want to eat it.

[LunaMom]

We do eat meat, and I used to worry that DD's love for animals would become a problem at the table one day! Although if she had chosen to stop eating meat, that would have been okay with me.

Anyway, one day at about age three she asked how "chicken the food" came from "chicken the animal," because she thought it came from a chicken the way eggs do, and I explained that it WAS the chicken, and waited for a reaction. She had none.

Later I would see her playing with her toy animals and she would have a sheep lying down and a lion "eating" it! It just didn't seem to disturb her at all. To this day she has no problem with it and will even make jokes at the table: "Poor chicken had to become our dinner...but he tastes good, anyway." That actually bugs ME a little, but she is unfazed.

Hope I'm not giving the creeps to all the veggies and vegans out there! I was veggie for four years, so I get it!

[Elphaba]

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[cmb123]

Originally Posted by IdentityCrisisMama

We eat meat. I must say, though, explaining the issue to my child is giving me some major vegetarian urges.

It’s really hard for me to reconcile telling DC that we don’t hit, hurt or disrespect animals but we can kill and eat them, yk?

Well, I'm vegan, so you know where my bias is, but what you're saying makes lots of sense. The questions you are suddenly asking yourself are the same ones that many of us who are veg, asked ourselves when we chose to change our diets. If I want to send a message of peace and non violence, how does supporting the meat industry fit into that?
My childrens father is far from vegatarian, so they have heard both sides of the issue. At my house, we don't eat meat, I won't buy meat, end of story.
However, I do not insist that they be vegatarian outside of our home (like when they are at their Dads, at a friends house etc..) For me becoming vegan was an ethical and political decision. It was something I felt to my core for as long as I can remember ( I think i was the only 5 year old brownie that ran crying from the circus when our troop went).I want children to make that choice on their own. If they do decide to become veggie, I want it to be from thier hearts, not because I forced them to.

[onlyzombiecat]

We eat meat at our house.
I don't think it has ever been much of an issue for dd (4 years). She doesn't seem phased that we are eating chicken.
I think I would start talking about what different animals eat. "Some creatures eat only plants. Some eat other animals." then I'd move on to different food choices that people make.

http://www.vegetarianbaby.com/articl...plaining.shtml

[edamommy]

The thing is... a child doesn't want to kill to eat. I truly believe we all start out vegetarians! But, meat-eating parents slowly NUMB their children to the death/terror of eating meat so, by the time they truly understand what it is and the process of which it comes, they really don't care or cannot truly empathize with the meat or the animals.

We're vegetarian. If my son wants to try meat when he's older he can hunt it down and kill it with his own hands. LOL. Although I doubt he will as we are already explaining to him what meat is. An example is his grandpa was going to have lobsters (oy! ). Baylor delighted in visiting with the lobsters. THEN he realized they were in a pot... we told him that grandpa likes to eat them. This didn't sit well and he kept saying mommy and daddy NO eat lobbys... and we let him know that's true, we don't. But Grandpa does. He says "mean grandpa" and we say "well, the lobsters think so".

Anyway, honesty is the best policy... unless you are a meat eater and want your child to be open to eating it.

[root*children]

I'm veg, DH is omni. The kids eat meat sparingly, mostly b/c I don't cook it! We were just always honest, but not getting into gory details. DS went through a phase of thinking other people were mean for eating meat, but I would never encourage it! We would just say, "he's not mean, it's just his choice, and that's okay."

[mommyofshmoo]

Originally Posted by edamommy

The thing is... a child doesn't want to kill to eat. I truly believe we all start out vegetarians! But, meat-eating parents slowly NUMB their children to the death/terror of eating meat so, by the time they truly understand what it is and the process of which it comes, they really don't care or cannot truly empathize with the meat or the animals.

I'm not sure i think we all start out vegetarians. The first food my dd ever ate (besides knawing on bread) was a mostly eaten chicken leg. She knawed the heck out of it, sucking out the juice.

Now, if left to my own devices I'd be mostly vegetarian. I was a veggie for ten years, so I get it. I also have a natural inclination away from meat. I don't like it much. But my dd is very naturally inclined towards meat. I remmeber when she started eating I called her the ultimate carnivore- that was all she wanted. She hates all beans- though she'll eat tofu and cheese.

Granted my dd started eating late, so maybe she craved iron. I dunno. Now she eats far less meat than in the beginning.

We haven't really broached the issue because she's only 2.5 and I don;t think she understands death at all yet. We could tell her, but it would be just words.

At this point she thinks everything either comes from "the store" or "Santa Claus."

I do feel uncomfortable with farm toys around the house. I feel these toys kinda encourage a false story (specifically about farming) that I don';t feel comfortable with.

Oh well, interesting topic edamommy!

[edamommy]

Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo

I'm not sure i think we all start out vegetarians. The first food my dd ever ate (besides knawing on bread) was a mostly eaten chicken leg. She knawed the heck out of it, sucking out the juice.

y!

:Puke
hmmmm Would she have decided to eat that chicken leg (knawing and sucking out the juice ) if she knew it had belonged to a live chicken who had used the leg to walk? That someone had to chop it's head off in order for her to enjoy the leg-juice? I doubt it. But, maybe!?!?!? I don't know, I'm have a hard time thinking any baby (any baby I've met) would be okay with the act of killing someone in order to eat it!!!!

Oh, and I understand that a baby or toddler cannot understand death. Or even an older child for that matter. But even a young toddler can understand pain... and there's pain involved with "getting meat". Not just death. Death is the "nicest" part of the process.

[Ragana]

We were lacto-ovo (no fish) veg for 5 years, then ate meat out but didn't cook it at home for about another 5 years - this was pre-kids. We both eat meat now, as do both DDs.

Once at dinner, we were eating lamb, and DD1 asked, "Mommy, where does lamb come from?" I was nervous, so I just said, "It's meat." The reply was "No, where does it COME FROM?" I just answered, "Animals." She said, "Hmm. OK." No real questions after that. However, if she wanted more information or chose to become a vegetarian, I would have no problems with that.

[TiredX2]

Would she have decided to eat that chicken leg (knawing and sucking out the juice ) if she knew it had belonged to a live chicken who had used the leg to walk? That someone had to chop it's head off in order for her to enjoy the leg-juice? I doubt it. But, maybe!?!?!? I don't know, I'm have a hard time thinking any baby (any baby I've met) would be okay with the act of killing someone in order to eat it!!!!

Young children CANNOT understand death, so I think they would not care, honestly. Small children are all about *their* needs---let the consequences be damned, kwim? Additionally, they have a very hard time ascribing consciousness to anyone other than themselves (in the very early days). Eating a chicken (if you think they are just a prop in your life, lol) is no more horrid than chewing on rocks, etc...

Now, if you want to say... IF you kept a child vegan *until* they truly understood death, etc... would they choose to eat meat, that's a different story. But, honestly, many would. One large reason for that is that most people do not see non-human animals as equal to humans and consider that humans, as omnivoires, have the "right" to eat meat.

As for us, our family is omni. I tend towards the veggie. We specifically make one meal a week with meat in it (crock pot), but we generally get meat when we go out for dinner (2X weekly) and we do eat convenince food w/meat (chicken noodle soup, chili, etc...).

We have been up front from the beginning. People (and other non-veggie) animals KILL to eat meat. You do not need to eat meat, it is a choice. DD has chosen to not eat meat (except chicken nuggests every couple weeks). DS is a true carnivoire. We do talk about how we try to purchase meat (& animal products) from places that treat their animals "well", give them a natural diet, etc...

[kimmysue2]

I nor my son eat meat. Daddy person does. Our son has no interest in meat and the daddy person (in fun) has offered some. My son will look at it and say gross shaking his head no. My son calls vegie sandwiches burgers.

I do not eat meat for health reasons I think its very bad for you. I do not mind other people eating meat. I will explain to my son more and more (he will be 3 next month) the different reasons behind not eating meat.

Funny my nephews first meat was a chicken leg also and he was totally chewing and sucking it. Made his mother SO proud (my brother said no meat) but now they are feeding him meat because my SIL thinks he is sickly from not having any.

[edamommy]

Originally Posted by Ragana

We were lacto-ovo (no fish) veg for 5 years, then ate meat out but didn't cook it at home for about another 5 years - this was pre-kids. We both eat meat now, as do both DDs.

Once at dinner, we were eating lamb, and DD1 asked, "Mommy, where does lamb come from?" I was nervous, so I just said, "It's meat." The reply was "No, where does it COME FROM?" I just answered, "Animals." She said, "Hmm. OK." No real questions after that. However, if she wanted more information or chose to become a vegetarian, I would have no problems with that.

That's a pretty vague answer. A child isn't going to just ASSUME it is the butt of a baby sheep. A baby that was killed in order to get the meat! A child will assume the animals just "gave it" to you!!! I think that a child cannot think of the "real questions" to ask on the matter until they're already to numbed to be bothered by the REAL answers. Anyway, I should ignore this thread as I feel my blood pressure RIIIIIIIIIIIsing as I type!

[edamommy]

Originally Posted by TiredX2

Young children CANNOT understand death, so I think they would not care, honestly. Small children are all about *their* needs---let the consequences be damned, kwim? Additionally, they have a very hard time ascribing consciousness to anyone other than themselves (in the very early days). Eating a chicken (if you think they are just a prop in your life, lol) is no more horrid than chewing on rocks, etc...

Now, if you want to say... IF you kept a child vegan *until* they truly understood death, etc... would they choose to eat meat, that's a different story. But, honestly, many would. One large reason for that is that most people do not see non-human animals as equal to humans and consider that humans, as omnivoires, have the "right" to eat meat.

As for us, our family is omni. I tend towards the veggie. We specifically make one meal a week with meat in it (crock pot), but we generally get meat when we go out for dinner (2X weekly) and we do eat convenince food w/meat (chicken noodle soup, chili, etc...).

We have been up front from the beginning. People (and other non-veggie) animals KILL to eat meat. You do not need to eat meat, it is a choice. DD has chosen to not eat meat (except chicken nuggests every couple weeks). DS is a true carnivoire. We do talk about how we try to purchase meat (& animal products) from places that treat their animals "well", give them a natural diet, etc...

**I don't think my 23 month old thinks only of his OWN needs. He feels pain and he totally understands that others do too (id- our dogs, etc.). Without being told ANYTHING he understood that those lobsters clawing to get out of the pot were HURTING. I don't think he's unusual either- I think most children understand pain. I'm not sure I get this post.

[mommyofshmoo]

oops...Jus to be clear, my graphic description of my dd eating chicken was not meant to gross anyone out- I was just meaning to say that she "ate" it rather than just using it as a teething toy.

Before 10 months, she used most "food" as a teeting toy, so I was differentiating.

I don't think that at 10 months kids would understand or care that an animal died to give them food. Babies are pretty self oriented.

Anyway- I was not so much proud as suprised. I thought that like me she would gravitate towards grains, fruits, etc. I don't even like chicken.

That said, I would love to have a vegetarian household, but dh eats meat and I get tired of cooking multiple meals.

If dd is grossed out when I explain where meat comes from, it'll just back me up and make the vote in the house 2 to 1 for vegetarianism.

[TiredX2]

**I don't think my 23 month old thinks only of his OWN needs. He feels pain and he totally understands that others do too (id- our dogs, etc.). Without being told ANYTHING he understood that those lobsters clawing to get out of the pot were HURTING. I don't think he's unusual either- I think most children understand pain. I'm not sure I get this post.

We were talking about 1st foods, so I was assuming under a year.

Most children simply cannot make the connection between actual pain & suffering, others & themselves that young. Sure, you could take them and show them the farmer killing the animal but And when you are talking about a 10 month old baby, I think the connection will be even more obscure and not understandable. Yes, if you took their pet and killed it in front of them, they would be upset. But, do they (can they) really understand "death of chicken" etc...?

I do think it is very natural to eat meat. People's bodies realize it has high concentrations of certain "things" (iron, protein & fat). At this point, in our society it is easy to choose not to eat meat because of the many, varied cheap food sources that surround us. On a biological level, though, there would be the imperative to eat meat.

My earlier post was regarding the fact that you think that people would not choose to eat meat if they were raised into "understanding" haven never eaten it and then offered it. BUT, I was just pointing out that when talking about an infant, they just don't have the reasoning OR understanding skills to make that decision.

[edamommy]

Originally Posted by mommyofshmoo

oops...Jus to be clear, my graphic description of my dd eating chicken was not meant to gross anyone out- I was just meaning to say that she "ate" it rather than just using it as a teething toy.

Before 10 months, she used most "food" as a teeting toy, so I was differentiating.

I don't think that at 10 months kids would understand or care that an animal died to give them food. Babies are pretty self oriented.

Anyway- I was not so much proud as suprised. I thought that like me she would gravitate towards grains, fruits, etc. I don't even like chicken.

That said, I would love to have a vegetarian household, but dh eats meat and I get tired of cooking multiple meals.

If dd is grossed out when I explain where meat comes from, it'll just back me up and make the vote in the house 2 to 1 for vegetarianism.

Yep, I was grossed out! But, that's fine! My dh is a vegetarian (newly as of 5yrs ago...) actually, he's a "shrimpatarian" as he eats shrimp and claims he's FINE w/ causing them pain and suffering for his own gain ( ). But, only outside the house does he eat them. After Bay's reaction to his grandpa's lobster boil- I doubt he'll want to eat even shrimp!

[IdentityCrisisMama]

I am less vague than “it comes from an animal”. I say it is the dead animal and that the animal was killed.

[IdentityCrisisMama]

Oh yea, we saw a shrimp in a tank and DC asked if it was the kind I eat (we had them recently and DC helped me cook).

I think she still doesn't think it's the same thing but I can feel more questions coming from her, which is why I asked. Don't want to debate this...just want some answers for my kid.