Discriminated Against and Kicked out of Playgroup!

[dharmamama]

My son came home from Ethiopia on November 20th. My daughter and I had participated in a playgroup with five other families from the time my daughter (3 this month) was 2 months old.

We hadn't been to playgroup since my son came home, but we anticipated starting to go again this month. But invitations stopped coming.

I found out this morning (through one of the playgroup members) that BACK IN DECEMBER, the rest of the group had voted to kick us out because my son could possibly infect their children with an "exotic disease." (The person who told me this was not party to this decision and just found out about it last week.)

I can't believe it!!

I had already discussed with another member of the playgroup, with whom I FOUNDED the group 3 years ago, that my son had been seen by 4 different doctors (an agency doctor, an embassy doctor, an international adoption medicine specialist, and our pediatrician) and that he is HEALTHY! Apparently this member felt that wasn't good enough and feels that it's fine to discriminate against my son because she and her husband are blood donors!!

I'm OUTRAGED!!!

[PumpkinSeeds]

That is the most absurd thing I have heard in a while...

[Marsupialmom]

What desease are they worried about?

[cmb123]

If I had that cute icon with the mouth dropping to the floor I'd insert about 50 of them right here!!!!!!!!!
I would feel so angry and hurt! I'm sorry that that happened to you!
What are you going to do?
That's crazy!!!!!

[indie]

What a bunch of jerks! What are you going to do?

[jessemoon]

Wow! That's pretty appalling! I think it's time to start a new playgroup with more reasonable and kindhearted mamas! People are really strange!

[sweetfeet]

Holy cow! I'm outraged for ya. I can't believe people could be so cruel. Well I can but thats just horrible. Who the heck cares if they are blood donors. I guess I wouldn't want to be around people who feel that way but I know it still hurts to lose the playgroup and your dd's friends.

[mommyofshmoo]

Alright, that's just weird.

That said, my stepmom works for the UN and I've worried sometimes about my dd being around her because she has on occasion caught diseases that are uncommon in the US. That fear is a little silly, but not completely unreasonable.

Also, if their kids are unvaccinated I kinda get their concern.

HOWEVER- if your son has been checked by docs and a few weeks have passed since he got to you, they really have nothing to worry about.

I suppose what they dont want to say is the word "AIDS." there is a lot of hype in the media making people think that everyone in Africa has AIDS. It's crazy.

Anyway, sorry you have to deal with this, it seriously bites.

[ma2maya]

Originally Posted by Marsupialmom

What desease are they worried about?

Obviously a disease that would affect their neurological system with symptoms that include using common sense and thinking logically and rationally!

Sorry this happened :
Kathy

[jannan]

what diseases are they worried about?

[momto l&a]

Who need to hang around a bunch of people like that!
That has to be one of the stupidest things I have heard.

[dharmamama]

Originally Posted by jannan

what diseases are they worried about?

Well, tuberculosis was mentioned specifically, but other than that it was just some vague exotic disease that could apparently pop up out of nowhere.

I'm sure AIDS is on their minds, especially since they all know I used to work with adults and children with HIV.

As for what I plan to do about, I already sent off a strongly-worded yet not mean or whiny email to the other members, and other than that I guess I will just stew about it and accumulate negative karma thinking uncharitable thoughts about them.

=(

[Irishmommy]

That is awful, I'm so sorry.

[charmarty]

what diseases they are worried about is not the issue here.

Mama I am SO sorry!

Is htere not somethign you can do? Talk to your town/city counsil?

Talk to whoever rents out the building?


aRGH I just don't know what to say without violating board rules.

[nicole lisa]

That is beyond outrageous! I'm sorry - argh, people can be such jerks. And cowards - they couldn't even be upfront with you rather than just stop extending invitations?! I guess that would allow a two-way discussion and time for you to educate them on how crazy their worries are.

I'm with jessemoon, I would try to start up a new one with people who aren't ignorant...maybe start with the mama who wasn't there when the "vote" was taken?

I'm sorry.

[annakiss]

That is an outrage! I'm so sorry.

[splendid]

Wow. People can really be that mean spirited.

Hugs to you and your little one. Its glad you found out what kind of people you were hanging out with.

I hope you can find a new group.

[Oh the Irony]

That is HORRIBLE.

I think I would have to pull out one of my fave tricks: Kill them with Kindness.
Done with the right touch of naivete it can really go far.

Next time you talk to one of them (IF you ever do again) you could try:

"Oh my, I'm so worried now. Do you think my family is at risk?? Can you recommend a doctor other than (insert your 4 names here) that could check our son out? we're really concerned so we are going to bow out of playgroup." Mess with their heads...

I know you were not looking for suggestions, I just couldnt help it. I am livid for you that people can be so narrow minded.

[CerridwenLorelei]

Umm how can you kick out

a founding member???

sorry you are dealing with such ignorance.

[Arduinna]

Originally Posted by ma2maya

Obviously a disease that would affect their neurological system with symptoms that include using common sense and thinking logically and rationally!

Sorry this happened :
Kathy