Luke's Birth Story
Well, Luke is 1 Month old today and I wanted to finally finish writing a “Birth Story” – so, here it is:
The real “story behind the story” is my motivation for having a homebirth this time around. Luke is my third child, and I knew that this would most likely be the last, I have always knew that I wanted a homebirth but for various reasons didn’t feel “ready” when I was pregnant with Fiona. There were many things that we experienced with her hospital birth that I knew I wanted to avoid with Luke’s birth. At first I thought I could have it both ways and I started seeing an OB doctor but just never felt like it was a right fit. Midway through my pregnancy I read a prenatal yoga book by Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa and was struck by a line that said “Don't try to have a homebirth at a hospital." I knew that I really needed a homebirth in order to have the experience that I wanted. Even though there were nay-sayers, I was determined. I had no anxiety at all once I made the decision and changed my care from the OB to a midwife, Becky.
I felt so empowered by the way in which I was treated by the midwife. Such respect - it is definitely YOUR pregnancy and birth - they do not treat you like a patient who has a disease! I also had the valuable help of a doula, Cori, and highly recommend that EVERY woman who births have a doula! I did not have one with Fiona’s birth and, as much as I adore my husband, I think it is unfair to expect the father to be a labor support person. I think it is necessary to have women’s energy – especially women who have given birth naturally and can bring that knowledge with them.
Anyway, one of the issues I had with Fiona’s birth was three weeks of “early labor” that went no-where and finally led to an induction at 10 days “overdue” and I really was hoping we would not repeat that pattern this time around. However, the same thing happened; I started having REAL contractions around 36 weeks. Thanks to the insights and information from both Becky, Babs (backup midwife), and Cori, our doula, I was able to handle these early contractions differently than with Fiona’s birth. I took herbs to help stop them and get much needed rest. I spent quite a bit of time trying to learn as much as I could about early labor, what it could mean, and how to handle it. The contractions were very real and uncomfortable. The most frustrating part for me was that I was concerned that I would not know when to call the doula and midwife because I would not know that “real” labor had started. I decided that I would call when I did not want to be alone (Mike notwithstanding – his job was to watch our daughter). We spent most nights watching TV and waiting for the big “this is it” but it just wouldn’t happen. Some times the contractions would even be 2 minutes apart but they wouldn’t be that severe. They would usually stop about 3 am or so.
On my due date, Tuesday, January 4th, Becky checked my cervix and the position of the baby and it was revealed that his head was in the wrong position. In other words, every contraction was NOT pushing directly against the cervix. The outer portion of the cervix was dilating but the inside was not. I consulted my pre-natal yoga books and teachers. I also got great advice from Cori on a website – www.spinningbabies.com – which gave information on how to turn the baby to a proper position. Well, I went home and did not sit down for 36 hours! I spent the whole time in the Yoga Cat/Cow posture (all fours) and did lots more squatting. I tried not to be down on myself for not knowing that sitting in the recliner can cause this positioning problem – but now I know I probably had the same thing with Fiona. When we went in on Thursday, January 6th, for another check, Becky said she had never seen so much progress in that short amount of time. I think I had gone from 2 cm to 3 cm, but, more importantly, had effaced the remainder needed. She said it would probably be that night or in the next few days.
That evening I had the same sort of contractions as before but this time they were getting more uncomfortable – they were not getting closer together though. At about 10 PM I couldn’t concentrate on the TV show we were watching anymore and tried to time some contractions. I was thinking I would call the doula but just didn’t want to bother her if this wasn’t going to be “it.” At about midnight, our 3 year old woke up and would NOT go back to sleep! At one point I was kneeling beside her bed trying to rub her back or her hands to relax her and I found I was rubbing her hands a little hard when I would have a ctx! My husband was tired and really wanted her to go back to sleep and he tried in vain – but she KNEW something was happening and was too excited.
At about 1 AM, Mike said to me “Look, woman, are you having this baby tonight or not? Because, if not, I am tired and I am going to go to bed.” I thought he was being rather insensitive and said “I don’t know!” Then I went into our room and thought about it and realized that he was on to something. He and I had been recently discussing Wayne Dyer’s book “The Power of Intention” and I realized that I needed to make a mental decision to go forward. So, a little after 1 AM I called Cori and she answered right away. Apparantly, SHE knew I was having the baby that night because she was sitting by the phone, fully dressed, waiting! I asked her what she was doing and she said “Just hanging out” and I said “Do you want to come hang out with me?” I felt like I needed her company – even if it was going to be another long night with no baby.
Cori showed up about 1:40 AM and immediately my ctx picked up from about 10 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart! We walked around the kitchen downstairs because I wanted to show her again where everything was. I was actually having to stop during the contractions and breathe instead of talking. At one point I made a joke by saying “Well, I guess I now know I’m not going to be one of those women who have painless labors!” We went upstairs and I was showing her all the birthing supplies that were in the upstairs closet when my water broke. I thought it was just Luke kicking me! I went into the bathroom so I wouldn’t make a mess and was thrilled that the fluid was clear (there was very thick meconium with Fiona and that would have meant a transfer to a hospital if it happened again). Cori called Becky while I got in the shower. It was just before 2 AM.
Becky showed up about 20 minutes later and checked me – I was 7 cm. At this point the ctx were happening very fast and starting to become overwhelming. Mike was busy taking care of Fiona. He took her downstairs and put on a DVD for her. He was glad that things were moving along and asked if he could do anything – I said, “Just stop talking so much!” I felt he was in too good a mood! Becky barely had time to set up her stuff! She ended up having to give me an antibiotic shot while I was in the tub. I had tested positive for Group B strep and the protocol is an IV drip – but she didn’t have time. I gave up on the tub and got out and onto the bed.
Everything happened so fast that I don’t remember much but the following things stand out: I remember Cori being SUCH a rock – mentally and physically. I literally wounded her by squeezing her hand so tight! I hung onto her when the ctx got really intense. She knew all the right things to say. I told her to keep talking to me about Luke – and she would tell me how he would soon be here and I would be holding him in my arms. She gave me very specific breathing instructions, letting me know when my voice was too high, etc. I never had a chance to do any special breathing because things were happening so fast. Which was a blessing and, quite frankly, I deserved a quick active labor after losing weeks of sleep with early labor! Cori laughed at me when I kept saying how fast it was happening – she said, “Yeah, if you don’t count the last four weeks!”
I also remember that I asked for Mike to come in and I hung onto he and Cori and squeezed both of their hands during the really intense ctx of transition. When I reached that point where I said “I can’t do this!” they all three (Becky as well) said “You ARE doing it!” and I realized that I could! So, I changed my moaning to “HELP me do this!” and, then, during pushing, to chants of “Yes, Yes, I CAN do it!”
The pushing then was great – I felt very powerful waves and didn’t have to do much but just accept them and really be present. (What a difference from the epidural and forced pushing at the hospital!) I started to think after a few pushes that my position on the bed (hands and knees) wasn’t working and got down on the floor so I could lean on the bed. This change in position allowed me to be a bit more upright and helped to bring the baby down in a few more pushes. It was such a cool feeling, helping my baby come out. I did not feel any “pain” during crowning. Cori was telling me to make specific sounds - lower tones. Telling me to visualize opening to which I started picturing the letter "O" and moaning and chanting "oh" (or was it AUM – hah!) Before I knew it, Becky was telling me to reach down and feel the head. I didn’t think I would want to do this – but it felt really natural and I’m sure helped me not to tear (which I didn’t!). He then plopped out on the ground and I was afraid to touch him because I was shaking so badly. I thought I would drop him! He was WAILING and it sounded as if he was saying “Ma Ma” (he still cried like that when he is really upset!) Mike went out to get Fiona and while he was gone I cut the cord myself. (Also very cool).
Fiona ran into the room yelling excitedly that "Baby Luke came out! Now we can bake a CAKE!" She was so excited! The look on her face was so precious to me! In fact, the thought that sustained me during the short, but intense labor and birthing was that my daughter is going to grow up thinking it is normal that babies are born at home; how GREAT is that! Luke was born at 3:36 AM – he weighed 9 lbs, 9 oz – which is the same weight at birth of Fiona (!!!) After he had been looked over and I had rested a while, I got in warm herbal bath with him and then we dressed him. Becky and Cori left a couple of hours later after helping to clean up. Mike had to go lie down with Fiona to get her to go to sleep – and I lay in bed with Luke and just couldn’t take my eyes off of him! We didn’t get much sleep that first night but it was great!
There are so many positive things that I could go on about – but one of the biggest boons to having an unmedicated, home birth for me has been the recovery time. Practically none! I jumped up and was feeling great in DAYS as opposed to MONTHS with Fiona! I think my Mom was very impressed by that fact! And Luke is such a nice little addition to our family. His personality is his own. His sister is very sweet with him. No jealously – sometimes frustration that things can’t go her way all the time – but that is more to do with being three years old than having a new baby!
I know a homebirth isn’t for everybody. But I feel that if I can do it – at almost 40 – then others can too! Many people have asked me how painful it was and, if at any point I thought I made a mistake and should have gone to the hospital and gotten and epidural. I answer the question about “pain” by likening it to what an athlete must go though on an adventure course – you are hurting – but it is bearable because you really want the prize at the end! And I can truthfully say that at NO point did I ever want to go the hospital or get an epidural! I kept thinking, even during the worst moment, that I was glad to be at home and I just focused on what was going on. Childbirth is the first glimpse of Motherhood – and incredible connection to the NOW – you are forced to be in the present moment. I am grateful for the encouragement I received from all of my friends – especially those in the AP community. I was inspired by all of the Mamas who shared their experiences and stories of homebirth with me. Thanks so much! And special thanks to those who supported me during those last few weeks!
Well, Luke is 1 Month old today and I wanted to finally finish writing a “Birth Story” – so, here it is:
The real “story behind the story” is my motivation for having a homebirth this time around. Luke is my third child, and I knew that this would most likely be the last, I have always knew that I wanted a homebirth but for various reasons didn’t feel “ready” when I was pregnant with Fiona. There were many things that we experienced with her hospital birth that I knew I wanted to avoid with Luke’s birth. At first I thought I could have it both ways and I started seeing an OB doctor but just never felt like it was a right fit. Midway through my pregnancy I read a prenatal yoga book by Gurmukh Kaur Khalsa and was struck by a line that said “Don't try to have a homebirth at a hospital." I knew that I really needed a homebirth in order to have the experience that I wanted. Even though there were nay-sayers, I was determined. I had no anxiety at all once I made the decision and changed my care from the OB to a midwife, Becky.
I felt so empowered by the way in which I was treated by the midwife. Such respect - it is definitely YOUR pregnancy and birth - they do not treat you like a patient who has a disease! I also had the valuable help of a doula, Cori, and highly recommend that EVERY woman who births have a doula! I did not have one with Fiona’s birth and, as much as I adore my husband, I think it is unfair to expect the father to be a labor support person. I think it is necessary to have women’s energy – especially women who have given birth naturally and can bring that knowledge with them.
Anyway, one of the issues I had with Fiona’s birth was three weeks of “early labor” that went no-where and finally led to an induction at 10 days “overdue” and I really was hoping we would not repeat that pattern this time around. However, the same thing happened; I started having REAL contractions around 36 weeks. Thanks to the insights and information from both Becky, Babs (backup midwife), and Cori, our doula, I was able to handle these early contractions differently than with Fiona’s birth. I took herbs to help stop them and get much needed rest. I spent quite a bit of time trying to learn as much as I could about early labor, what it could mean, and how to handle it. The contractions were very real and uncomfortable. The most frustrating part for me was that I was concerned that I would not know when to call the doula and midwife because I would not know that “real” labor had started. I decided that I would call when I did not want to be alone (Mike notwithstanding – his job was to watch our daughter). We spent most nights watching TV and waiting for the big “this is it” but it just wouldn’t happen. Some times the contractions would even be 2 minutes apart but they wouldn’t be that severe. They would usually stop about 3 am or so.
On my due date, Tuesday, January 4th, Becky checked my cervix and the position of the baby and it was revealed that his head was in the wrong position. In other words, every contraction was NOT pushing directly against the cervix. The outer portion of the cervix was dilating but the inside was not. I consulted my pre-natal yoga books and teachers. I also got great advice from Cori on a website – www.spinningbabies.com – which gave information on how to turn the baby to a proper position. Well, I went home and did not sit down for 36 hours! I spent the whole time in the Yoga Cat/Cow posture (all fours) and did lots more squatting. I tried not to be down on myself for not knowing that sitting in the recliner can cause this positioning problem – but now I know I probably had the same thing with Fiona. When we went in on Thursday, January 6th, for another check, Becky said she had never seen so much progress in that short amount of time. I think I had gone from 2 cm to 3 cm, but, more importantly, had effaced the remainder needed. She said it would probably be that night or in the next few days.
That evening I had the same sort of contractions as before but this time they were getting more uncomfortable – they were not getting closer together though. At about 10 PM I couldn’t concentrate on the TV show we were watching anymore and tried to time some contractions. I was thinking I would call the doula but just didn’t want to bother her if this wasn’t going to be “it.” At about midnight, our 3 year old woke up and would NOT go back to sleep! At one point I was kneeling beside her bed trying to rub her back or her hands to relax her and I found I was rubbing her hands a little hard when I would have a ctx! My husband was tired and really wanted her to go back to sleep and he tried in vain – but she KNEW something was happening and was too excited.
At about 1 AM, Mike said to me “Look, woman, are you having this baby tonight or not? Because, if not, I am tired and I am going to go to bed.” I thought he was being rather insensitive and said “I don’t know!” Then I went into our room and thought about it and realized that he was on to something. He and I had been recently discussing Wayne Dyer’s book “The Power of Intention” and I realized that I needed to make a mental decision to go forward. So, a little after 1 AM I called Cori and she answered right away. Apparantly, SHE knew I was having the baby that night because she was sitting by the phone, fully dressed, waiting! I asked her what she was doing and she said “Just hanging out” and I said “Do you want to come hang out with me?” I felt like I needed her company – even if it was going to be another long night with no baby.
Cori showed up about 1:40 AM and immediately my ctx picked up from about 10 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart! We walked around the kitchen downstairs because I wanted to show her again where everything was. I was actually having to stop during the contractions and breathe instead of talking. At one point I made a joke by saying “Well, I guess I now know I’m not going to be one of those women who have painless labors!” We went upstairs and I was showing her all the birthing supplies that were in the upstairs closet when my water broke. I thought it was just Luke kicking me! I went into the bathroom so I wouldn’t make a mess and was thrilled that the fluid was clear (there was very thick meconium with Fiona and that would have meant a transfer to a hospital if it happened again). Cori called Becky while I got in the shower. It was just before 2 AM.
Becky showed up about 20 minutes later and checked me – I was 7 cm. At this point the ctx were happening very fast and starting to become overwhelming. Mike was busy taking care of Fiona. He took her downstairs and put on a DVD for her. He was glad that things were moving along and asked if he could do anything – I said, “Just stop talking so much!” I felt he was in too good a mood! Becky barely had time to set up her stuff! She ended up having to give me an antibiotic shot while I was in the tub. I had tested positive for Group B strep and the protocol is an IV drip – but she didn’t have time. I gave up on the tub and got out and onto the bed.
Everything happened so fast that I don’t remember much but the following things stand out: I remember Cori being SUCH a rock – mentally and physically. I literally wounded her by squeezing her hand so tight! I hung onto her when the ctx got really intense. She knew all the right things to say. I told her to keep talking to me about Luke – and she would tell me how he would soon be here and I would be holding him in my arms. She gave me very specific breathing instructions, letting me know when my voice was too high, etc. I never had a chance to do any special breathing because things were happening so fast. Which was a blessing and, quite frankly, I deserved a quick active labor after losing weeks of sleep with early labor! Cori laughed at me when I kept saying how fast it was happening – she said, “Yeah, if you don’t count the last four weeks!”
I also remember that I asked for Mike to come in and I hung onto he and Cori and squeezed both of their hands during the really intense ctx of transition. When I reached that point where I said “I can’t do this!” they all three (Becky as well) said “You ARE doing it!” and I realized that I could! So, I changed my moaning to “HELP me do this!” and, then, during pushing, to chants of “Yes, Yes, I CAN do it!”
The pushing then was great – I felt very powerful waves and didn’t have to do much but just accept them and really be present. (What a difference from the epidural and forced pushing at the hospital!) I started to think after a few pushes that my position on the bed (hands and knees) wasn’t working and got down on the floor so I could lean on the bed. This change in position allowed me to be a bit more upright and helped to bring the baby down in a few more pushes. It was such a cool feeling, helping my baby come out. I did not feel any “pain” during crowning. Cori was telling me to make specific sounds - lower tones. Telling me to visualize opening to which I started picturing the letter "O" and moaning and chanting "oh" (or was it AUM – hah!) Before I knew it, Becky was telling me to reach down and feel the head. I didn’t think I would want to do this – but it felt really natural and I’m sure helped me not to tear (which I didn’t!). He then plopped out on the ground and I was afraid to touch him because I was shaking so badly. I thought I would drop him! He was WAILING and it sounded as if he was saying “Ma Ma” (he still cried like that when he is really upset!) Mike went out to get Fiona and while he was gone I cut the cord myself. (Also very cool).
Fiona ran into the room yelling excitedly that "Baby Luke came out! Now we can bake a CAKE!" She was so excited! The look on her face was so precious to me! In fact, the thought that sustained me during the short, but intense labor and birthing was that my daughter is going to grow up thinking it is normal that babies are born at home; how GREAT is that! Luke was born at 3:36 AM – he weighed 9 lbs, 9 oz – which is the same weight at birth of Fiona (!!!) After he had been looked over and I had rested a while, I got in warm herbal bath with him and then we dressed him. Becky and Cori left a couple of hours later after helping to clean up. Mike had to go lie down with Fiona to get her to go to sleep – and I lay in bed with Luke and just couldn’t take my eyes off of him! We didn’t get much sleep that first night but it was great!
There are so many positive things that I could go on about – but one of the biggest boons to having an unmedicated, home birth for me has been the recovery time. Practically none! I jumped up and was feeling great in DAYS as opposed to MONTHS with Fiona! I think my Mom was very impressed by that fact! And Luke is such a nice little addition to our family. His personality is his own. His sister is very sweet with him. No jealously – sometimes frustration that things can’t go her way all the time – but that is more to do with being three years old than having a new baby!
I know a homebirth isn’t for everybody. But I feel that if I can do it – at almost 40 – then others can too! Many people have asked me how painful it was and, if at any point I thought I made a mistake and should have gone to the hospital and gotten and epidural. I answer the question about “pain” by likening it to what an athlete must go though on an adventure course – you are hurting – but it is bearable because you really want the prize at the end! And I can truthfully say that at NO point did I ever want to go the hospital or get an epidural! I kept thinking, even during the worst moment, that I was glad to be at home and I just focused on what was going on. Childbirth is the first glimpse of Motherhood – and incredible connection to the NOW – you are forced to be in the present moment. I am grateful for the encouragement I received from all of my friends – especially those in the AP community. I was inspired by all of the Mamas who shared their experiences and stories of homebirth with me. Thanks so much! And special thanks to those who supported me during those last few weeks!
