airplane harrassment!

[pascal]

has this happened to anyone else

I took a flight yesterday with my husband and two boys, 3.5 years and 16 mo. Both boys were cranky from an exciting visit with friends and were not happy about getting stuffed into a plane. We can and have handled them on several plane trips with lots of snacks and activities. But, this time, we were not on the plane for maybe more than five minutes when the person sitting in front of the baby complained to the flight attendant about him playing with the latch on the fold out tray. My husband had him in his lap and He got quite irrate at the people in front of him and told them if they were going to be bothered by it they should find another seat. There was only one extra seat on the plane, so that was not really practical. I took the baby onto my lap and entertained him till he fell asleep as well as his brother.

I don't let my kids kick the seat in front of them and try to keep the happy and comfortable during flights. I felt like everyone in the plane immediately labeled us as trouble when we got on the plane, just because we had young children. I was so frustrated by the reaction of the other passengers as well as that of my husband.

Has anyone else been harrased on flights and how did you handle it?

Thanks a lot

KW

[simply me]

Good morning. Some peoplehave such issues wih kids on planes. I travel about 2-3 times a yearfrom Az to Nj to visit my family ALONE with 3 kids!!! Now, for the most part ihaveen't been to annoyed by people & their complaints. Usually i tell them go find another seat or hey next time if you want quiet or to be alone drive. My kids are usually wellbehaved & ofcourse sometimes though!!! Well 3 months ago i went with my 2 littlest, 3 1/2 & 18 months at the time. Well the kids were amazing GREAT. BUT..... the woam nbehind me who was moslty being nice & actually playing peekabo with my kifds decided to complain. Why you ask well... My then 18 month old had to ppop. So she ofcourse did. Well the lines to the bathroom were long, it is hard to take 2 into the airplane toilets. Well sao the woman behind me complained to the FA that my kid stinks & i have to do something. I told the FA ok, as soon as my son doses off & the lines open up i will go & change her, natuarlly i don't want her sitting in poop. So anyhow 5 min went by i got my 3 yr old to asleep & attempted to hit the bathroom, well it was horrible. No way was i getting into it, their were like 6 people ahead of me. So iwent & sat down & said to the woman the line is long so i am going to change her right in the seat. the woman said oh good idea. Anyhow i've done that before but since it was poop i wanted to conceal the smell out of respect for the other passangers. Anyhow i had 3 seats { i always get enough so we can sleep.} Ok so i change her etc. Well then the woman after i explained to her iwould have to change her in the seat, it willsmell for a second etc & i even stood up & told everyone sorry but i have to change the diaper. I wanted to apoligize prior to the smell... Well the woman made such a commotion & called the flight attendants over etc. she was rambling about traveling with kids bla bla bla. Anyhow she made such a scene & finally the flight attendant said look, either move or sit down & shut up. Everyone else is understanding & people HAVE to travel with kids. If you don't like it then stop flying. Anyhow so the woman sat down & just kept bitching etc. Finally i told her look if you don't shut up i'm going to put this dirty diaper in your face & then you'll see how bad it can smell no shut up & deal with it. Anyuhow the man infront of me stood up & said yeah, you tell her!!! I thewn saw quite a few people laugh at the whole thing. The woman shut up therest of the flight!!

[JillChristina]

At the end of October, dh, dd, and I flew from WA state to Washington D.C. We got up at the crack of dawn, missed our connecting flight in Chicago, had to wait about 5 hours for another flight, and dd fell asleep (after being awake ALL DAY) about 30 minutes before our flight out of Chicago to D.C. Well, she woke up as we were getting on the plane and was understandably grumpy. She cried just a little bit but was soon calmed down. The plane we were on was a tiny one with one seat on the left side of the plane, the aisle, then two seats. Dh was sitting across the aisle from us and saw the male passenger behind dd and I whisper to his female companion, "I hate kids." I didn't find this out until after our flight was over (dh said he didn't want to upset me by saying anything during the flight). I just thought, oh, puh-leeze! She cried for MAYBE two minutes and was happy and quiet the rest of the flight. How many two year olds on a GOOD day can sit quietly for an extended period of time?!?! My dd had been up for hours, been shuffled all over the place, and had only 30 minutes of rest. This guy should have been thanking me!! I also felt sorry for him. Hate kids? What a sad world to live in. Hope his female companion wasn't his girlfriend hoping to have kids some day!

If he would have said something to me, I would have apologized for the disturbance and reassured him that I would do my best to keep the annoyances to a minimum (which I had been doing all day anyway). Beyond that, there's not much I could do! It's too bad that more people can't have some compassion for kids and their parents on airplanes. Since having dd and traveling with her, I have a new respect for traveling parents!

Sorry you had a bad experience on the plane. Hope the rest of your trip was happy!

Jill

[mountain]

Ugh! I sympathize. My kids are so great on flights, but, well...they are KIDS! one time my son put his table down & up 2 times, the woman whose seat it was whipped around and was all snarky "He needs to stop doing that". This woman was just waiting for an excuse to blow up...if an adult had put their table down 2 times, she would not do that...it was total BS.

Some people refuse to realize that children are actually humans...it sucks, and I try to always be kind to other children in restaurants & airplanes, etc.

I have, on the other hand, noticed that sometimes people DON'T stop their kids from beating on seats, kicking tables, and that's not cool but I don't think that's what we're talking about.

[Zach'smom]

Some people are such idiots!! We were on a flight when my DS was 15 months old and a couple came up and wanted to know where are seats were on the plane. When I told them XY & Z. They said "Oh good we are at the other end of the plane" and walked away. Some people have a lot of nerve. The funny thing is my son slept almost the entire flight!

[Irishmommy]

Wow, I have never had any issues when flying with my kids.

[LunaMom]

Neither have I. I've always made sure that my daughter was fed and rested beforehand, and that we brought lots of things to keep her entertained. My husband and I would always "trade off" so she had the attention of one parent the whole time.

The same people who looked at us with an "uh-oh' look on their faces at the gate once THANKED us at the end of a flight. Like we had done something remarkable.

[mamalisa]

I've only flown once with ds and people were fine. The woman sitting next to us clearly did not want to chit chat ds and he was a little annoyed. "Why doesn't she want to talk, is she tired, is she sick, is she crabby?" Finally I convinced him that the window seat was THE place to be and he shut up . I was really worried getting on the plane because he kept stopping and looking around, kind of holding everyone behind me up. I apologized to the guy behind me and he said, "airplanes are cool, don't worry about it."

[mamawanabe]

People are so rude on flights. When half the people around you are trying to sleep or work, you'd think you'd not talk so friggin' loud, you know?! Why do people talk so loud on planes. I Can't imagine how bad its going to be when they start allowing cell phone calls. . . . Really crying babies are the very least of my annoyances on planes. I'd take one of them over a loudly bragging business man any day.

Now there was this one mama sitting in front of me when I was exhausted and dying for just 10 minues of sleep; she did not at all try to distract or quiet her two year old who spent the entire flight happily ahhing and cooing AT THE TOP Of HER LUNGS (you know how kids like to play with thier voices - see what thier voices can do). The mother loved her baby girl's yeps and hollars, and I guess we were supposed to too

[ajsmom]

We all paid for our seats! A person's a person no matter how small...

I have great admiration for moms or dads flying alone with more than one small child. I have also found that the confined space of an airplane isn't the best place to ridicule or threaten others with a dirty diaper in the face no matter what they may say to me. My son's safety is the priority and if that means letting the comments of others wash over me without response, so be it. And my son learns from my behavior with him and others. He is always watching.

We have flown to the midwest 9 times in his 4 years and he nursed on all the trips except the last one this month. Except for one ticket agent who was obviously having a migraine or missed her double latte that morning, mostly everyone has been great. I find that his behavior is less of an issue than my reaction to it.

[LizD]

The worst part, for me, is when you first get on and you can just feel and see everyone's heart sink at the sight of your baby, anticipating the crying and whining and so on. It stresses me because then when they cry at takeoff and landing I feel all that malevolence and tension. A few wise souls have been very kind and at these times have said, "don't worry, it's her ears, it'll stop soon, dear." But usually I got compliments and kudos for having such a "perfect baby" every time we flew, because dd didn't cry. That kind of irritates me. Ds is a bit higher need, shall we say, so I dread flying with him.

[pascal]

I think people who have never traveled with kids just haven't got a clue how hard it is to maintain the peace. Sometimes after a plane or road trip, I feel like I've run a marathon. Usually I'm so concentrated on keeping the kids happy, I don't pay any attention to the other passengers. I think people who don't want to listen to loud talking or crying need to make sure they pack a set of earplugs when they travel.

[Lucky Charm]

Originally Posted by LizD

The worst part, for me, is when you first get on and you can just feel and see everyone's heart sink at the sight of your baby, anticipating the crying and whining and so on.

This was the worse thing for me as well. I travel from Denver to Ft Lauderdale, or Denver to North Carolina with three kids, usually alone. Now, most people are fine, the FA, ticket people etc. I also bring snacks, quiet toys, books, etc. I always buy a ticket full price, and bring the car-seat. This has helped tremendously and most people are surprised when the kids were "good".

Now, even as a mother, i cant say i appreciate another womans child kicking my seat, screaming, crying (for long periods, not takeoff and landing), running up and down the aisle or leaning over the back of the seat drooling on me as the parents are oblivious or are assuming i find that charming.

[Peony]

I fly to Orlando frequently to visit my grandmother, and dd has never been the loudest child on the plane , all those excited dcs going to Disney. I do dread other flights though, no one has said anything to me, I do my best to keep dd quiet and occupied, but it doesn't always work. She always cries at take-of. We have to take a 12 seater to a large airport (we live in a rural area), and once dd finished crying, I looked ack and everyone had moved to the back of the airplane, it was only 1/4 full!

[huggerwocky]

I have never been even half as annoyed by children at flights as I have been with smelly passengers or passengers that insist on having the light on during a 9 hour night flight :

[captain optimism]

We just flew with my son. It went better than it has in awhile. We always buy him his own seat and put him in a carseat. On one trip, the airline wouldn't book our seats in advance (we tried!) and the airline personnel have tried to split up the family! I'm serious! When my son was under a year old! We've had to trade seats with other passengers to sit together...and then the stewardess offered the OTHER PASSENGER a free drink for their trouble!

On this last flight the stewardess actually flirted with my little guy. I realized this was maybe the second time in all of our flights home that this happened. My son is a big flirt and very cute, so it's been weird to have them diss us so much.

My son is generally pretty quiet. A few times he has cried, but we comforted him, and once he kicked the seat of the man in front of him, but we removed his shoes which made it harder for him to reach. But he's only two now. it's not his behavior that has made flying difficult, but the prejudice of the airline personnel. I hope the flight home this time will be as easy as the flight out here.

[CerridwenLorelei]

I don't fly anymore but dh does and he always tells me

when he says something or intervenes for parents getting the business from other passengers...esp when he sees that "I would kill for ten minutes sleep "in the mommy/daddy aisle

I know some people here would say how dare he I can take care of it myself but it is one of his good deeds he tries kwim? esp after having four he can relate...

But he and I were talking one night about finding something to bring in extra income and we jokingly said we should start an airline that is strictly for families ...somehow figure out how to make the planes really kid friendly etc
but probably not enough need
but reading threads like these I wonder......hmmm

"AP Airlines"

[meco]

FOR SOME people playing with the latch and tray table is just as annoying as kicking the seat. Now warranting a complaint? No. Get over it, guy, the plane lands soon and it will be all over. Not to mention, some things just are not that important. Planes are generally uncomfortable for some--sitting in close range to a lot of people, no space to move, etc.

OTOH, I fly every 6 weeks and I always try to fly open flights that are not full. If this is not possible, I hope for the best. I always sit in the bulkhead so no one is in front of us to kick or annoy, or the VERY Back so my son can get up in the bathroom area and play.

I always move if I am not in the bulkhead to another seat where no one is in front of me if the flight is not full, etc.

I also redirect if he is infatuated with the latch if people are in front of us. Ice in a cup, the barf bag, spot the baby in a magazine, go to the bathroom and play there, snacks, the window/cloud spotting, etc.

Otherwise I smile and act snarky if need be, I paid to fly too. And my son has every right to be on the plane. So I just do not let it get to me. Not like they are going to blan me from flying.

[meco]

Originally Posted by LizD

But usually I got compliments and kudos for having such a "perfect baby" every time we flew, because dd didn't cry. That kind of irritates me. Ds is a bit higher need, shall we say, so I dread flying with him.

Irritates me too, like they expected him to be bad (I ignore those looks and whatnot apparently. I just do not care. But I also know my son is generally well behaved and from flying so much I have 10 lines of defense at a minimum).

I ALWAYS get that.

[mamawanabe]

Originally Posted by meco

FOR SOME people playing with the latch and tray table is just as annoying as kicking the seat. Now warranting a complaint? No. Get over it, guy, the plane lands soon and it will be all over. Not to mention, some things just are not that important. Planes are generally uncomfortable for some--sitting in close range to a lot of people, no space to move, etc.

I'm with you on this. Flying is pretty miserable in general and grown-ups across the board are pretty rude on planes. Babies and kids aren't rude, though sometimes (rarely, actually) their parents are in that they don't do enough to help them learn that holloring in glee an entire plantrip isn't kind.

BUT, to give people dirty looks and/or say incivil things is just as rude. AND to be rude and complain about being bothered by a crying or pooping baby is absolutely innane.

We need to get over ourselves a bit in general, I think. We are too easily offended, you know. By swear words or noise or others' rudeness.

So screw the people who are annoyed. But scew us for getting annoyed at others' annoyance.