I had an awful Dr.'s appointment today. I thought things were starting to look up, that I had a Dr. that respected my wishes. One of them was that I wanted to use the fetoscope instead of the doppler. I brought this up 3 appointments ago. At the time I was seeing another Dr., and he was very unhappy about it, practically ridiculed me about it, but finally gave in and quickly found the heartbeat. Still, we decided to see another Dr. instead of going back to him. This other Dr. respected my decision, and used the fetoscope without argument. But she wasn't trained with it and it was difficult for her to use, it took her much longer to find the heartbeat. At last month's appointment DH and I don't think she even really heard it, but we were fine with that-- babe was kicking up a storm so obviously fine. This month she said she wasn't comfortable using the fetoscope, could she please use the doppler. I really appreciate the way she brought it up. You could tell she'd done a lot of thought on it. She said she'd never used the fetoscope and she wasn't comfortable not being able to hear the heartbeat well. We discussed it back and forth and finally I agreed. Used the doppler, heard the heartbeat, and that was that. But I feel awful. I totally respect others' decisions to use the doppler, but I'm not comfortable with it. Do I think I've done my baby harm? No. But I don't think my baby likes the doppler (always swam away from it when it could), so I promised it that I wouldn't unless I felt there was a problem or was in labor. Neither of which happened today. I feel like I've broken a promise to my child. Not to mention how unhappy I am with my medical "choices." A Dr. who was trained with a fetoscope but is a complete jerk, or a Dr. who tries to be understanding but has no training in the type of non-invasive obstetrical care I want. I know I have to go back for another appointment in 2 weeks, but I find myself stalling on making the appointment because I don't want to do that again!!
Thanks for letting me vent.
Feather, is that you of the stinky and shaved cats?
Jenni, my name's Meghan. As a baby I went by Meggy or Hannah. I thought about naming my baby after me, but don't think DH would go for anything so egotistical.