Due Nov/Dec 2002 (part 4) - Page 3

[abranger]

We are having a girl Georgia Rose. That was our only girls name but for boys we liked Walter, Noah, Nate and Jacob (beware of Jacob it just overtook Michael for the #1 boys name and Michael was there for 25 years!)

Still debating either in a Hospital with a midwife I LOVE and being totally covered by insurance. Or at home with a new midwife and pay out of pocket......better decide soon due Dec 15


Amy

[smaug]

We are birthing at home as long as possible, then "finishing up" at a very progressive hospital with two midwives. I am really hoping for a waterbirth there in the jacuzzzi, but trying to not get too attached to the idea in case I can't for some reason. This is going to sound kinda lame, but I am really looking forward to the excellent room service in postpartum recovery!!! We had our son there, and I would always get two juices at one time! Whenever I wanted it!! And sandwiches in between meals!! And they always gave my dh his own meals too!! It was like staying in a nice hotel or something. Not sure though, since I have never stayed anywhere that nice!!! Maybe they treated us so well because our son was in the NICU. But I think it is the norm there. Apparently it is where the "bluebloods" of Baltimore used to go to give birth! Lucky me!!

We are naming our son Julian Elijah. I always though it was kinda weird to know the sex AND have s/he named before the birth. But here I am doing both this time. I feel more bonded to this one already. I think knowing the sex helped. Is that weird?:

Anyone else hoping for a waterbirth? I also want to pull baby up onto my chest myself. And I kinda hope dh decides not to cut the cord( he isn't sure yet if he wants to) so that I can do that too!!!!

[BabygirldueNov25th]

We are having a girl, Megan Josephine. Our boy name pick was Nolan Joshua, and I love it so much that I think I'll keep it around for next time.
We are giving birth at a birth center with a midwife. Plan to labor in the jacuzzi, but give birth on a bed or stool. We switched to the birth center at 30 weeks, with wonderful support from both sets of parents. Plan to have my hubby, mom and aunt in the room when I deliver. Hubby wants to help as much as possible to deliver baby.
We only have two Lamaze classes left. I read so much and watched so many episodes of "A Baby Story" on TLC and "Birth Day" on Discovery Health channel that I really didn't learn anything at Lamaze. Does anyone think the same thing? I even already had the breathing technique down because I have a problem with rapid heart beat, and I use breathing to slow it down if necessary.
We are getting really excited. I have been "nesting" the whole pregnancy!

Good luck everyone!
Jenni from Ohio

[lilyka]

I took the hospital class with my first one and didn't learn anything I needed for coping with pain etc. . .but it did prepare for the hospital environment and there were somehting I was able to wisely refuse because my instructor (who is now a god friend of mine) was so smooth at enlighting us while still following hospital guidelines.

For example: she took out the iinternal fetal monitor and twisted it into her finger and described how they do this to the baby's head. As if that wasn't enough she then passed it around so we could all get a good "feel" for the coor screw part. Well there was no way they were putting that thing in my baby's head. Also, so that "we would be ready for the epidural" she gave us a copy of the release blown upo 50xs so that we could read the small print and have it signed before we got there. So there in 4 inch letters were the possible side effects of "heart attack, parallases (sp?), sudden death and fetal death" ya know, just so we would be prepared to sign it .

Any way if you are having a hospital birth definitely take the hospital classes. It will clue you in to what you need to worry about and what you may be over stressing out on. Otherwise they are more or less useless.

About my ped - Good grief, it never occured to me to ask my Dr. to reccomend something. I asked our back up Dr. and he refered me to some people but when it comes right down to it I don't really know what his philospophies are. He does whatever we want because he is a friend of ours but he may have a whole different view point so I didn't give his recommendations much weight.

[XmasEve]

Lilyka, that does sound like a good class to take. I just don't think my class is like that... And $20?! Is that because you're just taking a refresher course? Our cost would be $70. Pretty steep for us, especially right now. The second class is tomorrow, so I guess we'll have to decide by then if we're going or not. I told DH it was his decision. I think he wants to go, but knows that I don't, so he doesn't want to "make" me, and so is still undecided. I wish I could be more supportive of him right now, but it's just not in me on this issue. I think subconciously I'm hoping we won't go. Welcome to our little passive-submissive relationship!

Does anyone have any tricks for dealing with annoying Braxton Hicks? I know mine are just really bad right now because I'm under a lot of stress, but it's all stress that I can't avoid. I'm torn between having a good cry or not. I know I'd feel better after, but don't know if that's worth feeling so hopeless during, ya know?

Love this thread!

[lilyka]

It was $29 because we are in the midwest. It was also 6 years ago. We will probably take the refresher just so we can spend some time felling comfortable in the hospital. And hey, anything that involves a babysitter qualifies as a date these days

You know, if DH wants to do I think maybe you should. If it does nothing more than help feel a part of things then its still worth the money.

As for the braxton hicks contractions, mine are annoying, painful and frequent (Although now that I think about it now that the bean has turned they aren't nearly as bad - she must have been laying in a really contourted position). If it stress relax, think of it as a good time to practice breathing, relaxation whatever you think you'll use for the real event. Also lay down and drink fluids.

[tea olive]

i think my braxtonhicks are better when i'm dutifully drinking raspberry leaf tea.

my 21month ds had four teeth pulled today, it was for me more terrifying than any feelings i have about birth. and he's doing fine, it's just me.

i agree about getting dh's involvement, if the class is too yuckky, can you do something crazy like hire a doula for an appointment to talk him through the process? most people have no idea how to help a birthing woman including women who have done it, and have no idea what to expect, having information usually makes people feel a little more confident. maybe you can tape a few baby story's for him and watch them together, or get him baby catcher by peggy vincent.

[XmasEve]

Well, I talked to the instructor and she's very understanding so she'll only charge us $20 and we can take all the classes. We went to the second one last night. I think this class will be good for us. One concern I had had was that DH would come away from the class with the impression that the hospital was the utmost authority, forget everything I had read and learned on my own. But it's actually opened a good dialogue for us and we're finding ourselves on the same page more and more. Now to just deal with the panic attacks that precede every class... I really hate hospitals. Thanks all, for your help, it's much appreciated!

I think the BH contrax were stress. Lots of stress! Our bathroom was under repair for the last week. I wouldn't wish being 7-8 months pregnant and not having an accessible bathroom on my enemy!

Casina, your poor boy! I hope he's feeling great by now.

[Quaniliaz]

Just want to introduce myself - and stop being creepy spy-girl. :sinister Anyways, my name is Marisa and I am due 11/22 with my first babe. My bf and I are planning a homebirth with a couple of wonderful midwives here in Minnesota. We're taking Bradley classes, and I'm having a hard time consuming 100g of protein a day - but other than that, all is going well!

It's nice to find some like-minded pregnant people!!

Marisa
edd 11-22

[feather]

Welcome to the boards Marisa. I am due Nov. 29, although it is quite unlikely I will make it that far. I just need to make it to term! I am having a homebirth as well. I am so excited about it, and really cannot wait to see my new boy!

I have been meaning to stop in on this thread and say hello. I was in on it all in the beginning, right before I became DEATHLY ILL with nausea and all that. Boy was it a rough time..........

So, hi everyone again, I have been spying also - mainly because I am not usually coherent enough to post anything by the time I can get on the computer when dd goes to sleep!

Anyone want to take bets on how early I will go??? Dd was 17 days early and NOONE believed me when I said I KNEW she was coming any day. Unfortunately, I am starting to feel *that way* again, and it is WAY too soon for me to have any kind of homebirth.
So please send me non-contractional vibes!!! I have been braxton hixxing all night, and I haven't had ANY all throughout my pg. What is up with that I wonder.

Jenn

[tea olive]

feather, do you have short cycles? i have a friend that cooks babies early, they come at 36 weeks

[feather]

Casina,
No, actually, my cycles have always been every 45 days, or sometimes I would even skip a month, due to cysts on my ovaries. The cysts did saposedly go away after my first pg, and cycles didn't return til dd was almost 18 months. When they did return they were different, but I cannot figure out if they were normal or not. My body just does NOT ever do what the normal would be, I swear it never fails............
I suppose I should get on the ball and order those newborn diapers- fast.
Jenn

[XmasEve]

I had an awful Dr.'s appointment today. I thought things were starting to look up, that I had a Dr. that respected my wishes. One of them was that I wanted to use the fetoscope instead of the doppler. I brought this up 3 appointments ago. At the time I was seeing another Dr., and he was very unhappy about it, practically ridiculed me about it, but finally gave in and quickly found the heartbeat. Still, we decided to see another Dr. instead of going back to him. This other Dr. respected my decision, and used the fetoscope without argument. But she wasn't trained with it and it was difficult for her to use, it took her much longer to find the heartbeat. At last month's appointment DH and I don't think she even really heard it, but we were fine with that-- babe was kicking up a storm so obviously fine. This month she said she wasn't comfortable using the fetoscope, could she please use the doppler. I really appreciate the way she brought it up. You could tell she'd done a lot of thought on it. She said she'd never used the fetoscope and she wasn't comfortable not being able to hear the heartbeat well. We discussed it back and forth and finally I agreed. Used the doppler, heard the heartbeat, and that was that. But I feel awful. I totally respect others' decisions to use the doppler, but I'm not comfortable with it. Do I think I've done my baby harm? No. But I don't think my baby likes the doppler (always swam away from it when it could), so I promised it that I wouldn't unless I felt there was a problem or was in labor. Neither of which happened today. I feel like I've broken a promise to my child. Not to mention how unhappy I am with my medical "choices." A Dr. who was trained with a fetoscope but is a complete jerk, or a Dr. who tries to be understanding but has no training in the type of non-invasive obstetrical care I want. I know I have to go back for another appointment in 2 weeks, but I find myself stalling on making the appointment because I don't want to do that again!! Thanks for letting me vent.

Feather, is that you of the stinky and shaved cats?

Jenni, my name's Meghan. As a baby I went by Meggy or Hannah. I thought about naming my baby after me, but don't think DH would go for anything so egotistical.

[tea olive]

well, jenn, i'll send you some delaying vibes. my previous midwife (who happenned to move to connecticut) told me that for the second pg some women tended to go closer to term if they were early before, their bodies are more adept at the process.

meghan, sorry to hear you are disappointed and frustrated with your care. at least you aren't dealing with the jerk anymore. i do want to say that alot will depend on the hospital you are birthing at, the nurses general rules and standards in the ob unit will be what you deal with, more so than the actual doctor. talk with those if you can find that have birthed there before so you know what to expect, and so if you have battles to do you can choose the ones that matter the most.

i have friends that had what they considered wonderful births, and those who are still angry at the system years later. i believe that in the end the babies are not affected as much as the woman's psyche, birthing is such a sensitive time for women. no matter what happens we all have to jump off the cliff to endure the labor, and losing control in this world is a scary thought indeed. but we are strong women making healthy babies, we will be okay. one of the biggest lessons for me is that to be the best mamma is not about what i do directly for the child, it is by being the best person i can be and being a shining example. i do what i can to feel right, and when i hit the limit, i have to give in and let life carry me.

[APinUAE]

due in dec

Hi, just wanted to say how glad I am to find you guys. I have been occasionally reading posts at a mainstream discussion list but couldn't take it anymore. The whole "breastfeeding is yucky" and I an scheduled for my c-section on such and such date (for no reason) has become too much.
This is to be my 4th birth and it's another boy (currently have 3). We had 2 ultrasounds for this one which was different from the others where we had none. Reason is we lost the last baby at 18 weeks and so needed early reassurance that all was OK. It is strange knowing the gender but our other boys have really jumped into being positive about this baby since they found out it was a boy.
I am nervous about the delivery. We are living in a country where homebirth is very illegal and we have only one hospital available. It's right next door to me so that's good. But they deliver about 1,000 babies a month there so it's a bit of an assembly line! The midwives are mostly British and some South African which is good. They use beanbags, birthing balls, aromatherapy etc. But the doctors are Indian and really into yanking babies out. If all goes well though I won't need to have a doctor present and it will just be the midwife, me and hubbie.
Guess it will be another cross cultural experience for us all

I've also been experiencing braxton-hicks. Baby is head down and very low. I've been told to take it easy as doctor thinks he's wanting to get out! I hope not as I'm not due until mid december. The others were all 42 weeks so hopefully he'll continue the trend.

Any other "older" mothers out there? I'm 39 and don't feel older just get tired of reading about my age being a worry!

[lilyka]

don't get too excited about having your second baby early just because your first one was. you may be in for a seriously agonizing wait. My first was 6 weeks early and we held our breath untill I hit 35 weeks. We really thought once we got to the safe zone we could go any time. Any time... seven weeks later and 3 false yet totally convincing labors later we finally had dd#2 two weeks late after an induction. Not that it was a big deal that she was late but we since really expected her early those seven weeks dragged on forever. This time I have no expectations. I am due on Christmas day so I will probably go right on my due date since I can't think of a worse time to go What with hirdes of family around and no way to hide the fact that I am in labor there would be a whole parade of people who want to see the new baby. If she came a few days early I would be constantly in search for a private place to nurse (not for being discreet but for some freaking peace and quiet) and running from everyone who insists on holding the new baby. Either that or we will be the first newborn of the year -whoopee- an honor created to distract a person from the fact that they just barely missed thier tax-deduction and credit for the previous year. We really should have planned this preg.

[spyiispy]

Lilyka.....

How about a sending out babymoon announcements before your little one is born? Letting everyone know that after the baby is born....you and your hubby are going to take a few days (or whatever) to bond as a family and get your "druthers" up before the herds of family descend upon you. I wouldn't advise using these words exactly....but you get the idea

Hey....its doable. You may step on a few toes, but ultimately, I think keeping your sanity would be worth it!

Good luck!

Lisa

[spyiispy]

Any chance of you "accidentally" delivering at home, unassisted? Congrats on your fourth boy! I'm terribly sorry about your loss at 18 wks. I totally understand where you're coming from about your frustration with the mainstream mamas. I am a member of a group that got together because of our similar due dates (with ds #1). I am really wanting to unsub because I have NOTHING in common with these women....and its terribly frustrating to be asked advice and then have it disregarded, because their "dr. told them to do this, etc, etc." So glad to have found Mothering.com and this thread

Lisa in Seattle

PS...How old are your boys?

[APinUAE]

Hi Lisa,
Aren't those groups awful? You are so often made to feel that you are this raving lunatic! And when you back everything up with stats and research they STILL don't get it. Oh well time to move on.

My boys are 15, 13 and 7. I can't believe I have 2 teens already. Time just seems to fly. It's going to be interesting to see how they deal with their little brother. I've found all the advice and books are targeted for little ones and nothing on helping teens adapt. I was 13 and then 15 when my mom had babies so I "hope" I can remember enough to help my own boys.

I am close to delivering at home but dh is nervous about it. He was ready for a homebirth in the US but we didn't get that far. But we'll see -- heck if I labor here long enough I sure am not going to want to walk next door while in transition

Thanks for the welcome

[spyiispy]

I did it!!!

I unsubscribed from my mainstream mama's list. Oh, the sense of relief I feel. My reasons were not just due to the lack of a "sense of belonging" but also; DH and I have begun to look at our priorities, where we choose to spend our time and my list was taking wayyy too much of my time and it was not something I valued highly. So..it had to go! Next to go....the TV!!!

Lisa