Thinking of home/un-schooling: obstacles

[Suzannah]

Hi...

In light of the fact that live in the state ranked 50th in education, along with other reasons, I am considering home/un-schooling (not sure which at this point, but that's another topic). Here's my dilemma(s): first of all, my mother keeps telling me that I need to get out and socialize (me, not DD) and that I need adult time, and homeschooling will not allow me to do that. I have reminded her that I am not all that fond of people in general, and she still insists I need daily interaction (?). She wants DP (who is currently being a stay-at-home dad; he packs lunch, takes DD to pre-school, cleans, fixes the house while she's gone, picks her up and plays with her when she's done) to get a job so that we can enroll DD in a private school that I used to work at and LOVE . There are pluses and minuses to this plan.

Secondly, and more difficult to overcome than my mother (who should realize by now that I will damn well do as I please, especially with regard to DD!!) is the money issue. I currently make almost 50K a year teaching, with excellent benefits. If I homeschool, DP would get a job, but I need to make my own money, and not just pin money either. I need to know that I can take care of DD and I in case anything happens (DP and I are a little rocky). What do you do about money?

Don't worry: This is the first in a long series (I'm sure) of questions about how home/un-schooling "works."

[atypicalandrea]

If DP is being a SAHD now, why can't he homeschool DD?

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by atypicalandrea

If DP is being a SAHD now, why can't he homeschool DD?

I was just wondering the same thing.

[Suzannah]

That was the first thing I thought of, but when I discussed it with DP he said he wasn't comfortable. He also has the patience of a starving grizzly bear. And I have a Master's degree in education and am a certified teacher; DP doesn't have a diploma or GED (requirements in GA; nothing against DP on that, though. I dropped out of h.s., too, just went and got a GED as DP did not).

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by Suzannah

That was the first thing I thought of, but when I discussed it with DP he said he wasn't comfortable. He also has the patience of a starving grizzly bear. And I have a Master's degree in education and am a certified teacher; DP doesn't have a diploma or GED (requirements in GA; nothing against DP on that, though. I dropped out of h.s., too, just went and got a GED as DP did not).

Despite this, he can homeschool. My sister is technically homeschooling my niece (her daughter) but the reality is that my other sister, mother and I have much more to do with her actual education. If you decide what curriculum (or lack thereof) you'd like to do, you could even go so far as to write out lesson plans for DP to follow. It's not like anyone's going to come into your house and find out that he's doing most of the teaching during the day and you're only doing it in the evenings/on weekends.

[mandib50]

well, if you unschool, your dd could stay at home with dad and could still have a great time, and you could fill in the blanks if you feel it necessary on week-ends or when you have time off. surely your dp could help your daughter find books at the library or take her to her activities?it could work.

also, as to your mom, say mom i love you a ton and i know you want the best for me but i know what's best for me and my family. thanks for your concern.
mandi

[Suzannah]

Honestly, though, he's not interested. And I am.

[Openskyheart]

Does your DP want to go back to work while you stay home and homeschool? It is possible to "tag team" the childcare/homeschooling, but both partners need to be in agreement about how it gets done.

Also, regarding the patience, toddlers/preschoolers require so much intense attention and interaction. It's almost nonstop at that age. As children get older, they are able to occupy themselves for longer periods of time, and they get into interesting projects, and are able to carry on fun and intelligent conversations. The patience issues may be related to the constant vigilance needed to care for a small child's safety, and needs. Things really change quite a bit when your child reaches 5 or 6 years old.

We live in a state that is ranked 48th in quality of education - so I hear ya on that point! We sent our kids to a private school too, but we prefer homeschooling now. I wish you the best. It's tough to figure out how to work everything out, but you're giving yourself the gift of time to do so by thinking about it at this early stage in your dd's life.

Laura
Mom to dd8 and ds10

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by Suzannah

Honestly, though, he's not interested. And I am.

Are you saying that he's against homeschooling entirely, or against it if he has to do the work? Because those are two entirely different things...

[phathui5]

Since you're the one who's interested, why not do it? Couldn't you teach part-time instead? I have friends who teach night classes at college, which is something you could do. You could still make decent money without having to work full time and it would get you out with other adults.

[Suzannah]

DP is not against homeschooling at all, he would just rather not do it himself. He is not a good teacher in that he has difficulty keeping his patience or letting DD figure it out for herself (he'll just swoop in and do it, or he'll make a comment about how she did it not the "best" way). He sees what the public schools are like here; we know children that have had horrible experiences. I know a 6-year old on Adderol (ADD drug); this same 6 year old is expected to sit quietly in a seat for hours at a time (not developmentally appropriate by any stretch).

Our DD likes to walk around while she's working. She's a hummimg, whistling skipper. She doesn't take naps anymore (hasn't for 2+ years unless she's sick) and she resents the hell out of people making her lay down for an hour and a half every day (we finally got the pre-K teacher to agree to let her read quietly or draw so long as she wasn't disturbing anyone; she was disturbing people when they wouldn't let her read during nap). I am not going to force her, at 4.5, or 5 or whenever, to do something she is not ready to do.

I spoke to my mom again about homeschooling, and I think I got her. We were talking about what-ifs, like if we were studying the desert we could fly to Arizona and go study the desert (my mom is a retired airline employee so we get flight privileges). I told her I would still work, and I think that conversation may have won her over.