*Accidental* homebirth, birth certificate, supplies, etc... qstns

[amydidit]

The more I think about it the more I want a homebirth... I don't even care if it's unassisted... I've been through birth before, I studied briefly to be a midwife (didn't finish though), etc... I feel confident that I could easily handle it on my own... my DH however is another matter... he's against homebirth, so the only was I could have a homebirth is if I accidently stayed home a bit to long. Not entirely sure I will do this, I respect his wishes and fears, even though they're nuts... but it's something I'm thinking of... I think I could easily do it... my first daughter took only 7 hrs, so this one will likely be less time... I could easily pull it off.

So, has anyone else *accidently* had a homebirth? My midwife doesn't do homebirths, only birth center and hospital... and I can't switch just in case something does happen, the other midwives around here only do homebirths... I haven't found any that do both. Anyway... what do you do AFTER the birth? How do you get the birth certificate registered and all that? When I had my daughter she was born in a birth center and the midwife took care of all that for me. Would I be required to go to the hospital? And where can I buy supplies?

TIA!

[hmg7500]

i think it's really important for your partner to know what your plans are. even if he doesn't agree with them, i think that it's important he knows. birth is such a wonderful experience and i think it would be mighty stressful to have to hide that lie for the rest of your pregnancy and labor/birth.

that said, i too, had planned on just staying home "too long" and having an ooops! homebirth. but, i worked and researched and finally got my hubby on board with it, and while he still has reservations, he knows that ultimately, it's my choice and he supports *me* so, we are going forward with an uc.

to get a birth certificate, you need to contact the vital records office of the county you live in. call and ask what you'll need to do... i think it's universal that you'll need proof of pregnancy (something from your midwife or doctor), proof of live birth (bring your baby), parent's soc sec #s and perhaps their IDs as well. you go down, fill out the info and that's it.

as for homebirth supplies, there are lots of good resources. do a google search for "homebirth supplies" and lots should pop up. i ordered a few things from inhishands.com, but had most of the stuff on hand at home anyway.

[MyYogaBaby]

I think most husbands are hesitant...

My dh definitely was against UC, but he ended up being very much for a home birth. In fact, he's more outspoken about it than I am now!

It took a lot of talk, research, sharing fears, etc.

It sound slike you are not necessarily craving UC, but really want Homebirth. Keep talking to people. Somewhere, there is a midwife with a solid reputation who is not certified or doesn't advertise her services. Call people who host Bradley classes, talk to doulas, ask other midwives. I finally found mine through a Bradley instructor who was studying to be a doula and had just attended a birth that was also attended by my uncertified midwife.

I love this midwife! She is very hands off, yet helpful. She gets the bed ready, monitors the water temp in my birth tub, does all the clean up, provides a birth record, is knowledgeable about herbs if I have any minor issues that can be helped by them, etc etc. She doesn't get in my way, she doesn't do internal exams or monitoring, she doesn't make "suggestions" or do anything unless we want her to!

So, talk, talk, talk to your husband and to everyone else in your area you can think of. You'll probably bump into someone helpful!

[amydidit]

I know of quite a few midwives that do homebirth, but the problem is if something happened and I had to be transfered my care would then be transfered to whatever doctor was on call, instead of being able to stay with my midwife... the ONLY midwives that have hospital privledges in my area don't do homebirths... that's why I want to stay with my midwife, in case something DID happen she could be with me at the hospital and in charge of my care.

Whenever I talk to my DH all he says is "No!" and won't even listen... so if I do homebirth I'm pretty much on my own... he's VERY mainstream... heck he was *begging* me to use a hospital and have an epidural... I've been trying to get through to him for months, even before I was pregnant, and the closest I can get him is to not object to a birth center. He knows I want to be prepared here in case things go to fast and we can't get there on time... he just doesn't know I might make sure we can't get there on time.

Thanks for the info!

[Music-mommy]

I think it's a bad idea to try to dupe your DH by waiting and hoping you'll have a homebirth, especially if your mw will not come to your home. You'll end up without any support, a DH that is either mad or scared to death and will stress you out.

I think you'd be better to discuss it more with your DH and maybe talk to a midwife who does homebirths.

If there are complications, then you have no support, and your DH will feel very betrayed that you didn't tell him you had planned this all along.

I would get lots and lots of information for your DH to read or that you can read to him about homebirth, the safety of it etc.... then talk to him about the fact that though it is both your child, it is also your body that's at stake.

There are some great books out there about the safety of homebirth.

My friend in Mesa swears by Mary Henderson, she was there for 3 homebirths. And my friend had a family who was not supportive of home birth either. So it is possible!

I personally would tell my DH in a calm and collected way that if he is not willing to even listen to the arguement, or read some information on it, that you will simply wait until it's too late, and does he really want to have an unassisted homebirth? Would he not rather have a qualified good mw there to help? I'd tell him that I'd much rather do it with his support and love behind me. Birth is not a time to be argueing with your husband.

My opinion is that you need to get off the fence, either you decide to have a homebirth, or you go with this mw who does hospital births, but you can't have both. If you have a homebirth, have faith that it will work out, and you won't need to transfer.

Personally, I'd much rather have a qualified and very knowledgeable mw at my birth, and if I need to be transferred then hope that it all works out. But to be honest a good midwife will only transfer you if it's an emergency, at which point, it won't matter so much if she's there to help you because you'll be in the doctor's hands anyhow.

[mwherbs]

Ask your midwife is there is someone who can labor sit and monitor the baby with you at home until late in labor so you don't have to be in the hospital very long- See if she has a recommendation- I know one CNM up there who use to be a homebirth midwife and she knows several of the LMs in town- and 1-2 that she has worked with in the past.
Other wise if you are going to pretend to have an accidental homebirth your DH will probably call an ambulance and they will transfer you to the hospital postpartum and this is how you will get a birth certificate-
If you really want a homebirth interview a few of the midwives in town- Phoenix area is chocked full of very experienced and good midwives. A midwife might convince DH that it is alright- most midwives I know have very low transfer rates so the likelyhood that you will need to see someone at the hospital is pretty small.I think that the over all transfer rate from home is something like 7-8%.
You can hardly claim accident to DH if you have a bulb syringe and chux and plastic sheets and a birth pool filled as well as
anti-hemmorhage herbs, bent straws and labor food, ginger washcloths.
How you get a birth certificate is to get ahold of vital records and they will tell you what they want- usually some proof of pregnancy and they some doctor statement after birth that says the baby is yours.make sure you check the box that says you want a social security number at the same time other wise you will need to make a separate trip to them and have 2 pieces of ID for you new baby in order to get a # issued.

[RiceMomma]

I've had an accidental home birth. Now, I'm sure you'll handle yourself better than I did, considering that if you do this, it won't really be accidental. For me, I was scared out of my wits becuase it happened so fast and I didn't realize what was happening at first and didn't know if everything was happening right (it was so fast I still had my panties on when I pushed.) When the paramedics came, they treated it like it was an emergency sitution- shoving oxygen in my face, hooking me up to an IV, whisking my baby away to the hospital SEPARATELY. I was in shock over the whole thing-- not totally aware-- would NEVER let that happen again. They carried me down the stairs on a rescue chair type thing, and then had me stand up to climb onto a stretcher- a whole bunch of afterbirth gushed out infront of all these strangers- rushed me to the hospital in the ambulance with the sirens and lights. It was very embarrassing and quite tramatic. I'm sure it would go differently for you, since you're planning this, but I really don't think it will be the intimate experience you're probably hoping for, especially if your partner feels betrayed.

Good luck to you with whatever you decide.

[amydidit]

Thanks for the info everyone... tonight I just broke down and cried like crazy to my DH... I think he finally understands... I know he is scared... very mainstream, grew up always thinking birth = hospital w/drugs and all that... but I think he feels better now... or at the least is willing to push his fears aside for my comfort.

I'm still nervous about switching to a LM instead of my CNM right now... if I do, I know that she (LM) won't handle the birth if anything goes wrong... whereas right now if anything went wrong (other than ceserean) I would still be cared for by my midwife... that's one of the things I like about her practice. Ah well... at least now I can start interviewing LM's and seeing how things go from here.

Oh, and I already had discussed with my DH having supplies on hand, and even if I do stick with a birth center birth I still will get them... I had a pretty fast labor and delivery with my daughter... if this one is much faster I might truly not have time to get to the birth center (with DD I didn't feel ANYTHING until active labor)... so he wouldn't have been surprised by having supplies here.

So again, thanks so much! Now I"m off to find some midwives to call tomorrow.

[Jemper]

Good luck! I'm glad to hear DH is on board now, I suspect if you find the right m/w for you, she'll help you feel better about your fears regarding transport. I had to find a LM *very* last minute (the one I was going to fly over from the states called and canceled from the airport!), but somehow I knew it would work out. Stay in touch with your priorities; if staying home to birth your child is what's most important to you, than you should be able to find an LM to suit your needs.

[Quindin]

Amy - glad your DH decided to back you up on this I was also considering HB myself but due to reasons beyond my control am settling with a Birth Center birth...

Andrea - OMG!!! I am shocked about how 911 handled the whole thing!! Thanks for sharing though... I was very relaxed and not worrying so much that I might or might not make in time to the Birth Center. I was thinking: "the worst that can happen is us having a surprise HB" and then calling and ambulance. I had no idea 911 would handle the whole thing like it was a horrendous car accident and even transport the baby SEPARETELY!!! It is outrageous!!

[Music-mommy]

My midwife would only transfer if a c section was required, in her opinion all other complications can be dealth with. She's delivered breech, etc... so I'm a little confused when you say that if complications arise your lay midwife wouldn't be able to help you. Though I understand that some mws are maybe afraid of liability and transfer quicker.

My friend who had Mary Henderson for her homebirths in Phoenix, had complications her labors were all about 24 hours, and 2 of her children had Nuckal arms (sp?), her 3rd child, they almost transferred with the 3rd birth because of complications but she ended up birthing in her SUV in the parking lot of the hospital!

Good luck with your decision.

[Quindin]

Are you asking me?
If yes, my midwife does handle any complications herself - breech, huge babies... whatever
The thing is: if I end up giving birth at home by myself because I could not make it to the hospital, I would need to call 911 because she can't do homebirths (stupid regulations and insurance issues )
Then again, if things did go well, I might as well as DH to drive me to the Birth Center instead

[midwyfmomma]

I'm also an LM (licensed midwife) but not in Az. When I transfer someone to the hospital (for things that can no longer be handled at home) I stay with them until after the birth providing support & information (like a doula). If you're with an LM in AZ this would probably be the same. You wouldn't just be handed over to some OB you don't know. If you had to transfer with an LM it's likely that the same situation would be outside of your CNM's scope & you'd see her backup OB too.

When you're interviewing the LM's in your area, ask them how they handle transfers, why they would transfer someone, where they transfer to, etc...

Most husbands do well with the idea of homebirth once they are aware of the studies & statistics that support the safetly of homebirth. Share the facts with him, give him numbers! Men do better with factual information than they do with the emotional... but "it just feels right".. though as you found a few tears can be quite convincing!

Don't choose a birth center birth or a certain care provider out of fear! Fear based decisions are not wise decisions! Explore your options and trust your instincts!

[Music-mommy]

Originally Posted by polihaupt

Are you asking me?
If yes, my midwife does handle any complications herself - breech, huge babies... whatever
The thing is: if I end up giving birth at home by myself because I could not make it to the hospital, I would need to call 911 because she can't do homebirths (stupid regulations and insurance issues )
Then again, if things did go well, I might as well as DH to drive me to the Birth Center instead

No no, I was talking about if you hired a Homebirth midwife.

[mwherbs]

Originally Posted by polihaupt

Are you asking me?
If yes, my midwife does handle any complications herself - breech, huge babies... whatever
The thing is: if I end up giving birth at home by myself because I could not make it to the hospital, I would need to call 911 because she can't do homebirths (stupid regulations and insurance issues )
Then again, if things did go well, I might as well as DH to drive me to the Birth Center instead

the laws in AZ allow for CNMs to do homebirths with quite a bit of freedom- practice guidelines have to exist and you have to have a plan- Most CNMs don't do homebirth in AZ because of malpractice insurance and the fact that they are not allowed to be an independent provider for medicade money( need a doc's signature) which is restraint of trade but... is tolerated because who has the time or money to fight it.
anyway to speak to the other ideas many simple complications are handled by LMs but everyone has their limit and comfort zone. Many midwives in the Phoenix area have good doctor consults but most emergent transfer will be with who ever is on and present- isn't this the case for your birth center midwife as well? aren't they on some sort of rotation?

[cchrissyy]

Amy,
why don't you see the CNM just once to establish yourself as a patient, and then do the rest of the prenatal care and the brith with the lay midwife?
that's what the CNMs here told me to do if I eveer left their practice- so in case of transfer, I'd be documented as their patient, not given to some Ob on call.

[zion]

glad to hear DH is bending a little to support you. I think you should find the MW you are comfortable with. Chances are you won't be transfered and if you are you're probably going to get a doc you don't know anyway...if you're transfered you will most likely be deemed highrisk making you MD material not MW. go with you gut and don't think too much about the "what ifs"