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Mama-Led Weaning Support Thread - Page 8

post #141 of 287
We dropped the nap nursing first. The first few days we drove around or even skipped the nap - which can make for a difficult day!

Then actually what happened was that we then moved into dropping the bed time nursing and he started to go to sleep without nursing and then a couple of days later he started to fall asleep for his nap without nursing.

So...while the nap nursing stopped a week or 2 before the bedtime nursing...he really didn't start napping without driving or whatever until after he learned to go to sleep on his own for bed time.

ok that sounds rather confusing!
post #142 of 287
We dropped the nap first, too. I still end up driving him to sleep for most naps, though. He hasn't nursed in two weeks now- I can't believe it! I lay down with him to get him to sleep at night and always fall asleep I'm doing it, though. I used to try and get stuff done after I got him to bed at night and now I'm not able. It's kind of driving me crazy.
post #143 of 287
I have lurked over here for a while, knowing that our nursing relationship was coming to a slow and gentle close. I nursed my child for 2 years 8 months and 10 days. Had I known it was my last time, I would have been a mess that day. But my son dropped his nap on his own, and his nursing at night was more silly than anything. So we substituted belly blows instead and he just laughs and laughs. I bought the book "Maggie's Weaning" for him through LLL and I highly recommmend it. He asked me to read it three times the day we got it then asked "where'd this book come from?".

We are having our Weaning Party next Friday with his playgroup pals. I am touched, proud and sooo sentimental. We even celebrated by getting a "big boy" bed today with a nice new quilt.
post #144 of 287

Nightweaning

I love this thread! I introduced myself at the very beginning and have made some major changes since then. DS is 29 months and 3 weeks ago was nursing 3-20 times in 24 hours, including a lot at night. Well, for the last 2 1/2 weeks I've only nursed him upon waking, after lunch (that's naptime if he has one that day, otherwise, just a nurse), at bedtime and then whenever he wakes at night (2-6 times!). Limiting the day nursing has been wonderful and as long as I let him know when the next time he can nurse will be and offer snack/drink, he's really had no problem with it.

Last night was the 3rd night of no nightnursing. We went cold turkey "you can nurse when the sunshine is out". He has done great. The first 2 nights he cried and was pissed for about 30 min and then took another 15-30min to get to sleep (no longer upset, just needed songs and snuggles). Last night the first time he woke he asked for nursies, cried for 2 min when I said no and rolled over and went back to sleep! The second time he woke we were awake for 30 min total with very little crying, just help getting back to sleep. I can see the light! This is working. I feel like he is totally old enough to understand and even though he *LOVES* his nursies, he can handle being told "not right now."

For us, limiting daytime nursing first was key as I'd never refused him the boob before and this got him used to that concept before we took the nighttime plunge.

Thanks for all your stories, I'll keeping reading them it's been so helpful. I hope for him to be completely weaned by his 3rd birthday, maybe before if we can move quicker.
post #145 of 287

Still in Phase I

Hi Mamas . . . Just checkin' in again to say that I still haven't the heart to move on with Dr. Gordon's method. I think it's true that weaning DS will ultimately be harder on me than him! : He continues to do very well with not falling asleep while nursing after 11 p.m. . . . and although he almost took a nap without nursing down yesterday, we're still a way off, I think. It's more complicated by the fact that I WOH P/T 4 days a week. He takes naps daily without me with no problem, but on the days when I'm home with him he wants to nurse to sleep. It's very difficult for me to deny him this, even though he doesn't nap as long or as well when I'm there. I remain ambivalent . . . .

How's everyone else doing?
post #146 of 287
We're doing well here! DS is down to nursing just once a day now, twice if he is having a bad day and needs some extra cuddles, which isn't often. His one nursing is first thing in the morning, which gives us both a little more sleep time, or just a chance to wake up slow and sweet.

The one problem that I am having, and it's going to sound really silly, is that he has found comfort elsewhere on my body: with my eyebrows. He's always loved eyebrows (it was one of his first words) and since we're not nursing as much, he likes to rub my eyebrows even more. They're like substitute boobs :LOL ! It's very cute, but occasionally, it really irritates me. Like right now, I'm battling this awful cold and am having enough trouble breathing, but when he rubs my eyebrows, he's constantly blocking my nose or sinuses. It's so hard to breathe when he does this and it makes my illness feel worse. It's ok that my eyebrows are his "pacifier" but I think I'd like him to find comfort in something else eventually, like his stuffed monkey. For now, I guess the eyebrows will be a transitional piece between nursing and not nursing.
post #147 of 287
I"ve been lurking here for a little bit, but i think now we are finally on the path. Dd is 22 months and I am hoping to wean her by the fall when we are hoping to get pregnant again. Well... I think I could probably do once or twice a day, but we'll see. a couple months ago we did the Dr. Gordon thing and it worked ok but we kept backsliding. Finally i realized that she needed to be in her own bed. So now she is just across the hall on a full size mattress on the floor. I would (until last night! ) nurse her down and then at her first waking, usually around midnight or 1 am, dh goes in and sleeps with her until 4 am. Then I go in and nurse her, which is practically non-stop until we're up at 6 am. Got to work on that one. We tried to get through the 4 am one before, but it was like hitting a major wall. If she doesn't nurse, then she's just up for the morning. I think if we were persistent then we might get through it, but I dont' have the energy for it yet.

Since dh can get her back to sleep at night and my mom has put her down when we go out, it seemed the easiest one to cut for now. So last night i nursed her for about 10 minutes in the living room then went downstairs to do some sewing. she played for about another 10 minutes, then dh took her in the bedroom. Minimal fussing, so I think we're good!!

How much time did you all give between dropping nursings? We nurse or drive for naps and I'd love to stop nursing for naps all together but i think it would entail driving all the time, I dont' know. I think mama=nursing when it comes to sleep. That might be one of the last to go.

Does anyone else's dc really have like, a serious love affair with your breasts? I mean, my dd *loves* them. We call nursing "deedees", but its also just the term for breasts (like Nana's deedees are sleeping. permanatly :LOL ). She likes to look at them, hold them, try and put them in her lap :LOL (esp. when the cat won't comply), waves to them when I'm getting dressed. It's funny, but giving them up for good is going to be very hard for her. I know that sometimes she asks for deedees just because she wants my attention and then if i sit down with her she says, "no, no deedees!" and lately she's into changing her mind every 3 seconds, so it goes back and forth.

happy for the thread and support though!
post #148 of 287
I'm glad I found this thread.

I'm feeling like monster mommy at the moment.

DS2 is 23 mo. At around 20 months, I chose to begin gently weaning him so that I could get my body back and go back on some meds. He had really slowed down on his own to about two nursings a day, so it seemed like a good time. For a couple of weeks he was nursing maybe three or four times a WEEK.

Then the poop hit the fan. Daddy took a contract in Virginia and he works there at least Mon- Fri of every week (often not coming home on the weekend for two weeks) so he went from being home ALL the time (he worked at home before taking this contract) to being GONE all the time.

DS2 started nursing every day again... partly asking, partly because it was the only way I could calm him down or get him to sleep.

Now, three months later, he is asking to nurse CONSTANTLY and I hate to tell him NO, but he will NOT be distracted. He will LITERALLY follow me around the house, crying and yelling "NUUUUU NUUUUUUUU!!!!!" for as long as I refuse. I can't stand that, so I give in and nurse and all I've taught him is that he just has to yell loud enough and long enough Not a lesson I wanted to teach.

So, what do I do? My first DS weaned at 15 months in a textbook manner. I decreased one feeding each week or ten days until he was weaned. No problem LOL... DS2 is a totally different child! LOLOL!!

Any BTDT advice? I really don't want to scar this child emotionally, but I also really need to stop nursing for my own sanity.

Thanks!
post #149 of 287
Hey Lolov,

If I could offer a suggestion: When I noticed DS was getting stressed out about dropping a nursing session, I just quit "trying" for a while (a few weeks), then once he relaxed we s l o w l y went back to cutting back. I really wish you luck. I would not have been able to handle having my child chase me around begging. It's tough though because it become a control thing for them. I sure you have a number of ways to comfort your child but since this is the one you are tapering off, he's pulling out all the stops.

Good luck!
post #150 of 287
Thanks for the support and advice.

The problem is that I haven't been "trying" to drop a feeding right now... he just keeps adding them... I'd be happy with not adding any more... especially since they last an hour now!! YIKES!!

I'm going to assume this is a phase and take advantage of dh being home this summer so I can focus on getting ds to learn to self soothe without my boob... I think that will go a long way towards weaning. If daddy is home, I think it will be easier on him.

post #151 of 287
try the counting trick. I learned it here... somewhere. Anyway, once he's nursed about 10 min. or whatever you're comfortable with, you start counting to 10 and tell him that when you get to 10, nursing is all done. Make it fun- not like threatening counting. I do this with dd and she caught on quick. Sometimes she tries to get ot the other side after 10, and depending on my mood I let her and then count for that side and tell her deedees are all done right now. It even works great at night when she's asleep and i'm trying to delatch. The key is to make it playful, I think. It won't cut down the number of nursings, but it's a way to make them shorter and get away.
post #152 of 287
lolov. I agree that the counting trick works someimtes. I've used it once or twice. You are probably right that it will be nice to have your dh around to tag team with you. Hang in there...

We are doing great here, moving right along with the nightweaning. Last night was night 5 and ds slept till 4:45 at which time he fussed for 2 minutes when I reminded him no nursing and rolled over and went back to sleep! He woke at 6 and I nursed him since the sun was up and then we both slept till 7:45! It feels so good to get decent sleep after 2 1/2 years of nightnursing!

Daytime we nurse at waking in the morning, naptime and at bedtime. He asks a lot but doesn't really care when I tell him we'll nurse at naptime (or whenever) but not right now.

Last night in the car he was saying "I want to nurse!" in a sing-songy way and after a few minutes DH says, "remember honey, you can nurse at bedtime but not right now." To which ds replies, "Daddy, I'm just singing about it!" Priceless!

Love all the stories and support here...hang in there mamas!
post #153 of 287
I am just about 18 weeks pregnant now, and finally I think I'm ready to wean 26 month ds. I've gone back and forth about it and finally decided it's time. I thought about continuing and then tandeming, but more I think about it the more I think it's not for me. I have read some of the previous posts and plan to read all of them. After I saw this thread last night I decided to go ahead and try to start the night weaning first. I was pleasantly surprised. I told ds that after he fell asleep milkie would fall asleep too and that he wouldn't get anymore until morning, and strangely he didn't wake up to nurse all night even when I came to bed at around midnite. He almost always wakes up at least 2-3 times a night to nurse, especially when I get to bed. But he just woke up probably just before sunrise and nursed a bit off and on until we got up at around 7:30am.
I also decided to cut out the snacking on me all day. My nipples are pretty sensitive at times now that I'm pregnant. Also I don't think there is all that much milk in there. My breasts definitely aren't as full as they were, and they are getting chapped and irritated. Anyhow, when ds has asked for milk I just tell him to wait until nap time. He was okay with alternatives of diluted juice and a hot carob drink so far today. And I'm making sure some favorite snacks are on hand and it's helping a lot. I did nurse him twice today, but it was the two times we tried to get him down for a nap. It looks like he is skipping his nap today....the 4th time this week. So we won't nurse again until bed time. For the first night/day working towards weaning I think we're doing good. Not as bad as I thought it'd be, so I'm thinking he really is ready for this and so am I.
Glad to find this thread. I'm be checking in here often.
post #154 of 287
Well, for the last 2 days I've kept ds occuppied during the day with snacks, activities, etc. He didn't have any "wake-up" milk, but had milk for his nap. Yesterday he had wake-up milk, no milk all day and no nap, and he was nursed to bed and then woke up once for milk. So I feel like we are making big progress. He is totally fine so far with other alternatives to mama's milk during the day. But nap and night-time sure is going to be a challenge.
post #155 of 287
hi mamas! thanks for being here and sharing the great ideas. how adorable that Bethkm's dc is singing about wanting to nurse! a love song, a ballad to boobs and a bit of the blues :

ds just turned 2! and we are still nursing a few times a day and 1-2 times at night. We are also working on shortening nursing sessions, and I wanted to add another suggestion to newmainer's "counting thing." Lately, I've been singing songs he knows well (some old favorites like Itsy Bitsy Spider, but also ones from his Signing Time videos and mother-goose type songs from his Wee Sing tapes) and then leaving out the last word or phrase at the end of a line, which I wait for him to fill in. FOr example, I'll sing, "I've been working on the ___" and he'll have to latch off to say "Railroad!" and we go back and forth like that for the rest of the song. Usually by the time we sing a few songs, he's totally into the singing and doesn't notice that he's no longer nursing...

I wanted to add that I'm in the same boat as VeniceMamacita about being PT WOHM so that he easily naps without me at "school" but it's much harder if he's at home and I'm not here. We're still working on that and would appreciate any advice.

I've also been trying lately to have him say "num nums" instead of "nurse" because somehow it seems more tactful in public settings. But he's quite attached to the word, "nurse." Our typical exchange is something like...
DS: Nurse! nurse!
Me: You mean, Num-nums?
Ds: Num-nums!
(then quietly, before latching, he whispers) *nurse*
Me:
post #156 of 287
The no nursing except for nap and bed has worked well for 2 days, but today I haven't done that great at being consistent. I wasn't fully dressed first thing today, so Jakob took advantage of that when I was trying to wake up sitting on the chair in just a blanket. Then I got dressed, but with no bra and Jakob was putting his face down the top of my dress :LOL . When I reminded him the next time he gets milk was naptime....he got so mad. He said, "I'm sad!" and walked away from me and kept saying, "I'm sad". I asked him to come back to my lap and tried to give him hugs and he just walked away again to a couple feet away and just kept saying how sad he was. So, I gave in. This is only day three so I think we are still doing pretty good. It was just so easy to distract him the last two days, that today I was kind of thrown for a loop when he kept insisting and was crying and mad. It makes me feel torn about wanting to wean, KWIM? We are still going to keep going, I just feel so bad about it right now .
post #157 of 287
Well, Lukas and Jasper are now solidly weaned for 12 hours of the day. . . from about 5:00 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. They are most attached to the first thing in the morning nursing and the post-nap nursing. They still ask to nurse several other times throughout the morning and afternoon (basically, whenever I sit down or talk on the phone), but it is possible to distract them most of the time.

OUR NEW FAVORTIE DISTRACTION:

Smoothie Popsicles!!

What would I do without them?!

I make them with plain whole milk organic yogurt, frozen strawberries, bananas, frozen peaches, frozen pineapple, and a little milk. I freeze them in the popsicle molds, and L and J love them! I think they are a pretty good substitution for nursing because they:

a) take a long time to eat
b) fill the need for something oral and sucking-ish to be going on
c) are basically totally healthy
d) if needed, the boys can eat them in my lap and still get snuggles

I am hoping that with the help of smoothie pops, we are going to be totally weaned by the end of the summer (notice how my deadline keeps getting pushed further and further away. . . ?). It's okay with me for them to just eat smoothie pops all day long, so it doesn't matter how many times the boys ask to nurse so long as we have enough pops in the freezer.

Sometimes I am still so grateful to be nursing that I wonder if I really do want to wean. . . It truly is "magic milk" in that it is always a sure ending to a tantrum or a quick fix to a "bad ow." Also, I've been toying with the idea of pumping and freezing some milk in preparation for the sickness season next fall. I just can't imagine not being able to offer breastmilk to my guys when they're sick.

But for the most part it is still nails on the chalkboard when nursing goes beyond one minute, and I am so done with all the fighting about when we can nurse and when we can't.

If anyone else has figured out any great distraction ideas, please share!

Lex
post #158 of 287
Great recipe! We'll have to try that... I didn't think about some kind of oral/sucking alternative....

I went to the city with my mom today for about 8 hours. Dd nursed briefly before I left and did great all day. Granted my in-laws are here and a great distraction- lots and lots of one on one playtime. She wanted dee-dees the minute I stepped in the door, but was happy to see me and seemed fine about my absence . She continues to let dh rock her to sleep, and that is incredibly smooth and often faster than when I would nurse her. I did manage to get her down once this week for a nap w/o nursing but I don't think that will work everyday. We'll see. Driving is so much easier... sigh.

We also do a once a week Waldorf Parent-Child class and she usually nurses a couple of times while we're there. This week I told her that dee-dees were sleeping at school. She never asked again. I think we're on the same page. It feels good, and it makes me appreciate the sweet nursing times we do have, knowing that it is (slowly) coming to a close.
post #159 of 287

When all else fails . . .

Great to find this thread. Everything benefits from balance. I have nursed three children to about 27 months each, and nursed 3 months into each subsequent pregnancy. I will freely admit that I did reach the point of resentment before weaning my second child. It hurt so badly, I was so tired and she wanted to nurse constantly. We weaned eventually, but it was fairly traumatic for both of us. I wanted it to be different with my third child.

Over a period of a couple of months we got down to about two nursings a day. He was reluctant to cut out the last two and I didn't want to get to the point of resentment again. So one morning I got the idea to apply a large dollop of particulary stinky mustard to each nipple. He took one look and that was it. He was fairly ticked off that his favorite food had suddenly become so repulsive, but after a few minutes of checking me out he hopped off my lap and went to play. He asked to nurse a few times after that and I had to do a few fast runs to the kitchen to apply my condiments, but it was almost as easy as that. I let him get close and smell, he pointed to my chest and said "stinky" and went about his business. I had to get my mind around the fact that my two objects of his desire were now objects of revulsion, but the pay off was worth it. In his mind, he was the one who made the decision to stop nursing, not me!

Don't use this trick with a young nurser of course. And it goes without saying to only use stuff that, should your little one decide to go in anyway, won't be harmful.

Now I fully understand that this might not be the most PC of suggestions to make on this particular website. But I did want to share because I know there's a Mom out there somewhere at the end of her rope and looking for an idea. I was there! Like all of you Mom's on this site, my kids come first. My "badge of honor" is that my first birth was a vaginal breech which I fought tooth and nail for because I knew it was the best option for my daughter. (Look, my inclusion of that fact shows that I'm feeling a bit defensive about posting this!).

Anyway, hope someone, somewhere benefits.
post #160 of 287
I just weaned my 27 1/2 month old, all night and nap nurser, cold turkey. The first night was rough, she cried for about 15 minutes (being held by me) but we decided to wean because she has two huge cavities and there is the possibility that the night nursing/pooling is enhancing her issues. Anyway, I blamed it on the dentist, and told her the dentist said no more. Very apologetic. "I'm sorry, Reilly, the dentist said no more nursies" and she accepted that. It was they day we went to the dentist, incidentally. The dentist also has said "no more lollipops" and when she goes to get her fillings I am sure she is going to be pissed at the dentist. LOL. But it worked to have a bad guy for us. I have tried to withold nursing from her about a million times and she beats the crap out of me. For some reason, the dentist thing made sense to her, and she cried a "resigned" cry but she never even attempted to nurse again. And if I may say, she is a fiesty, spit fire, breatholding, intense little beast. She's not a docile kid. We were, and remained, shocked. SHe has finally started sleeping with only one waking at about 3 am. Its been 9 days.

I did get her used to falling asleep without nursing though, (althought it didn't always work) and we do naps in the car driving. Just wanted to add this story for those who are afraid to try. Because of the way she always reacted we thought it would be just another failed attempt. So maybe try a "bad guy". HTH.
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