Mama-Led Weaning Support Thread - Page 9

[clothcrazymom]

I wanted to let those out there know that it's entirely possible to do mother-led-weaning in a gentle manner without resulting to:

- letting the child cry
- bribing
- using an aversion technique
- lying
- creating a negative in the situation

I understand that people do what they do. I just know that it's possible to wean your child and stay in keeping with the guidelines of MDC. There have been several techniques now mentioned on this thread that really seem to go against MDC.

Yes it may take longer and may need to be a more gradual situation. But it's very possible to do things in a gentle manner that is respectful of all.

I realize that some will get upset for my saying this. I just cringe when I read some of the things and I want those out there reading it to know that just because someone chooses to do mother-led-weaning it does not mean that they are doing these things. I really don't see these techniques as being AP at all. I realize that women are offering up some of these suggestions for those who feel desperate and as sortof a last resort. There really are other ways though! I would just really like to see this thread stay more positive and offer more positive suggestions that are respectful to all.

[Corkonian]

In response

CCM, I can totally understand your reaction: this thread is controversial enough on MDC.

But at the same time you have to have faith that members following this thread have enough intelligence and love for their children to do the right thing. A little free speech never hurt anyone: let writers leave their suggestions and let readers pick and choose what advice to take.

I don't think anything is to be gained by making Mom's, who are doing the best they can, feel bad about themselves. I'm sure that wasn't your intention.

[clothcrazymom]

Originally Posted by Corkonian

CCM, I can totally understand your reaction: this thread is controversial enough on MDC.

But at the same time you have to have faith that members following this thread have enough intelligence and love for their children to do the right thing. A little free speech never hurt anyone: let writers leave their suggestions and let readers pick and choose what advice to take.

I don't think anything is to be gained by making Mom's, who are doing the best they can, feel bad about themselves. I'm sure that wasn't your intention.

Sorry - I can't make anyone feel anything.

Free speech goes both ways. Just as those may have a right to express the things that they have done that may not be keeping in the ideals of this site; so do those who wish to offer other suggestions that may be more in keeping with the ideals of this site.

In all areas on this site when people bring up things that are not in keeping with AP/NFL then it is discussed. There is nothing wrong with this. Remember there are many who are very new to this way of thinking. It's not a matter of feeling that they are not intelligent enough...it's a matter of pointing out that some things may not be in keeping with the ideals of AP/NFL...that's all.

Sorry I don't go along with your logic. So would it be ok to talk about CIO or spanking, etc as a valid alternative on Gentle Discipline or other areas of this site? It may be free speech but it certainly would not go along with the *rules* of this site.

And yes my intention was to offer other suggestions. It is entirely possible to do mother-led-weaning in a gentle respectful manner for all involved. I think it's important to know that there is a gray area between fully child led weaning and mother led weaning (in an abrupt, harsh way) And truth be told the majority of women will fall somewhere in-between. I *think* that this thread was meant to be a support thread for that majority.

[Corkonian]

CCM, I think you have made great contributions to this thread and I send you love and blessings.

[zombiemommie]

Where are the rules of what constitutes keeping with the "AP", natural motheriong stereotype posted here on MDC ? Everyone is not an all or nothing AP'r. If Lexbeach, who has nursed twins for 26 or 27 months decidesto bribe them with a popsicle, she is suddenly not AP ENOUGH for MDC ? Or because I told my exclusively nursed until 12 months (including no solids), co-slept, baby-worn, no vaxxed 27 month old who up until that point was nursing as much as she wanted day or night, that the dentist said "no more nursies" and it worked (and indeed the dentist DID say that, not that I agreed 100%) - am I not AP enough for MDC ? Please. So if somebody is struggling with depression and wants to get back on meds, and they decide to wean vs. throttling their child, they are not AP enough because they aren't thinking gently enough for "some" people's tastes ? People are being honest and discussing what works for them and their families. I thought the main tenent of AP was following your instincts. My instincts told me what to do. Sorry if you don't agree with my, or anyone else's ideas. If you have a problem with what people are suggesting, say so and maybe offer a suggestion compatible with what you believe, don't "hide" behind MDC. This has really annoyed me and sorry if I sound harsh ... maybe its the weaning hormones, or maybe I'm just not AP enough. This website has been one of the most instrumentally helpful parts of my motherhood. It got me through my VBAC, through nursing difficulties, through post-partum depression, through cloth diapering, through the vax issue, through dental caries, and through weaning. It carried me through discipline issues, as well as through partner issues. When I spanked my son for the first and only time out of anger, who knows if somebody would have dissed me would I have become a child abuser, vs. telling me "I've been there too and this is what worked for me". I have a hard time with anybody telling anyone they are "going against the guidelines of MDC" without offering a solution/suggestion/reasoning behind.

Also, for the record, my daughter cries when the wind blows the wrong way, her hair is crooked, I wear shoes she doesn't like, and when her brother spells words. She was not crying hysterically, if I liked to hear her cry I would have weaned her 5 months ago when I was having resentful nursing feelings. BTW, resentful nursing feelings and other things, including, if I am not mistaken, bribery aka redirection, are indeed discussed in the LLL book "Mothering your Nursing Toddler" by Norma Baumgarten.

[Sisyphus]

CCM...

You keep saying you want to offer other, gentler, solutions... and I'm all ears...

Start offering!!! I'm up for gentle techniques to MLW but I'm not getting a whole lot... anything you can suggest is totally welcome

Thanks!

[Bethkm]

CCM, I agree with you, this thread offers both gentle and not-so-gentle choices. I feel that reasoning with a 2 1/2 year old and offering other special treats (healthy popcicles for example) are gentle choices for MLW at this age. I feel confident in what my dh and I have done with ds up until now.

DS is adjusting well to no nighttime nursies. Usually waking once around 4:30 and goes back to sleep in minutes with no crying or nursing. He has had no daytime behaviour changes that make me feel we are moving to fast or doing the wrong thing with him. The last several days he hasn't asked to nurse at all, just doing it automatically at naptime and bedtime and that's it.

Like all advice and experiences I hear from others about parenting, I'm taking all this with a grain of salt. Some people have made suggestions or told of experiences that I wouldn't do, but I think that goes without saying and doesn't really matter. We all make our own choices. I'm still proud of what I/we are doing with DS in all areas and haven't compromised my AP values in any way. I hope you all feel the same about what you are doing!

Blessings!

[clothcrazymom]

lolov ~ if you read the posts that I made before today I have detailed what we did in the weaning process over the time. I gave updates as we went along.

There have been many gentle alternatives offered by myself and others. Sometimes some of us have said that maybe it's best to try to take it a bit slower or to wait and try again a few weeks/moths later too.

Some of the things that have been offered up are: distraction, change in "routine", offering healthful alternatives, talking with the child, nursing parties, getting help from other family members or friends, taking it slowly, etc.

I also believe that it often comes down to our mindset. So if we are trying to do it at a time when we are tense about the situation...it very well may not work. I'm not saying it's easy to step back and relax - I know it's not. I've gone through the weaning process with 3 children that have all been nurse-aholics who are not easily distracted. I've gone through the times of angst and frustration and wanting things to go a certain way and not having them go that way. For me, I've noticed that when things start working well in the weaning process has been when I shift my attitude about the whole situation. It's helped me to step back and look at the whole situation and then to approach it differently.

Some of the things that worked for us was that I really had to stay on my toes and offer him things to eat and drink before he would get to the point of asking to nurse. Same with activities. Changing my pattern also helped. Reasoning with him worked at times. For a couple of months it just didn't work for me to sit in certain areas that he associated with nursing. This will be different things for different people depending on what their "routines" might be. And at least for me, it's never been a matter of one thing...it's been a matter of lots of things. Different things work at different times.

To any others.....I think if you go back and re-read what I wrote you will notice that I did not name anyone or point any fingers. I'm sorry that some may feel defensive about what I wrote. I guess I would think that if you really felt confident and "OK" with your choices then you wouldn't really care what I or anyone else have to say about it. I've stated my intentions about those posts now several times. I think I wrote clearly enough.

The other thing is that I think about is the big picture. To me it seems to be inconsistent to go from creating a loving, responsive, nursing relationship with our children and then to have it end in an abrupt or harsh manner. I just wonder what messages we would be sending our children in doing so. I think that we all really would like to have things end in a positive way and for our children to think about nursing in a positive light.

I realize that there are those that need to wean quickly. But lets be honest...those true cases are far and few between. And as far as I know we haven't been discussing those that may need to quickly get on some sort of meds that would not be conducive to bfing. There is lots of information out there to be of help for those who need to quickly wean. I think it's much more difficult to find support for those that are wanting to wean in a gentle respectful manner.

Corkonian ~ Thank you for the love and blessings. I am not the one who started this thread...just one that's been involved with it since the beginning

Bethkm ~ I think what you've said is quite valuable! In my experience I've *known* that my kids are ready for the changes when it seems to go well. If it's a matter of it becoming a big struggle and very upsetting then maybe it's either not the "right" timing or maybe not in the best way. From what you have said...it sounds very similar to the way that weaning has gone for me with my children. It took some time and some steps along the way. But it's in a gentle respecful manner that we all can feel really good about

[lexbeach]

[clothcrazymom]

Lex ~ I know you weren't posting to me directly. I just wanted to say for the record though that I didn't mean that the whole popsicle thing was a way of bribing. There have been other things mentioned along the way on threads that involved bribing.

I hope we all don't get into a debate about whether or not weaning our toddlers is AP or not. I think it's been established that there are those of us that feel that mother-led-weaning is ok. I think it's more about the way that we go about doing it.

[Venice Mamacita]

Phase 1 Still Working Well

Hi Mamas ~ Haven't checked in for a while. Exactly one week from DS' 2nd birthday and we're still in "Phase 1" of Dr. Gordon's plan. He continues to do great in this phase. Plus, I just realized that he's probably teething (he's got 4 more teeth to go for a complete set ), which explains why he's been fussier than usual, wanting to nurse more often, etc. So I think we'll stay in "Phase 1" until his teeth break through.

Oh, and I tried the counting thing with him over the weekend. Didn't work so well yet, but I'll keep trying. I really like the transitional aspect of it.

Hang in there, everyone!

[lexbeach]

Originally Posted by clothcrazymom

I hope we all don't get into a debate about whether or not weaning our toddlers is AP or not. I think it's been established that there are those of us that feel that mother-led-weaning is ok. I think it's more about the way that we go about doing it.

But who are any of us to say that it's okay for other moms to wean their toddlers in some ways, but not in others? I think, so long as we are all listening to OUR OWN instincts, we'll all do okay by our toddlers. This thread can sort of have the same motto as La Leche League. . . "take what you want, and leave the rest." Some ideas may spring out at people, "oh, that sounds like something that would work with my toddler!" And, we may see some ideas and know immediately that it either wouldn't work with our toddler, or we wouldn't feel comfortable using that technique.

I know that it wouldn't work for us for me to try painting my breasts green or putting a stinky substance on them (my boys would probably be a little traumatized, and then tell me to wipe it off), and it wouldn't work for us to stop nursing cold-turkey either (I think my body would have a hard adjustment, and my boys would be really confused). But these are ideas that HAVE worked for some moms without causing trauma to their children or to them. Obviously, those moms are not parenting my toddlers. So, while I may choose other techniques myself, I'm not about to say that some methods of weaning are okay while some are not. I think we can all trust each other to make our own choices--hopefully based on what our own mothering instincts tell us--without the need for judgement.

Lex

[lovnbnhome]

our update

It's getting a little heated in here these days! I hope it cools off soon

Anyway here's our update . DD has been doing great throughout the night . I haven't nursed her for several weeks in the night. I wondered about where to go from there but things have progressed to where she won't nurse (her decision) before going to sleep. Sometimes at nap she won't nurse to sleep. And if she wakes up during her nap a few times I have said "I'll be right in, I have to go potty first. Put your head down on the pillow until I come in" and she falls back to sleep! (Being pg I have to go often ) I don't deny her if she asks for her nursies but I do try to distract her with something else . sometimes that works and others it doesn't. But since Saturday, I think I have nursed her twice.

: On a side note:
This has been a very helpful thread for those of us who are trying to guide our little ones to become independent and I hope that the harsh words said here (earlier) are done. It makes for an unhappy, uncomfortable setting. People can make people feel and the last few posts made me feel uncomfortable. Perhaps you could PM each other? Parents who are a part of MDC are not ignorant and they do try to do the right things for their children, we do the best we can...nobody's perfect

that's my 12 cents!

[zombiemommie]

I am sorry if I have made anyone uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel that there are people here who are looked upon as "not enough". The vegans feel that someone who is eating dairy and eggs is not a "true" vegetarian. The women who've had the c-sections - bad. Women who have had an epidural or other medical birthing intervention, uneducated. Moms who work, doing a disservice to the family. Sending kids to public school should be homeschooling. Not using natural cleaning products and eating 100% organic, harming their families. Using discipline not gentle enough, jumped upon (I've seen threads where people are dressed down for using the word "no" or for not explaining a rationale to a screaming toddler who is endangering themselves. And no, it wasn't me). If you don't cloth diaper, you are lazy and not dedicated. There is a large subset who eschew anywone who is nightweaning their child. And on and on.

I have been here for over 5 years. I have changed as a mother and have had to adjust my parenting to work for my family. We are a we, not a me. I just feel that if I, veteran of the mommy wars, was feeling irritated by a post, that *I* needed to speak up because there are ALOT of people on this board who are not 100% Grade A granola, following every single tenet of the natural parenting and attached parenting philosophy, every letter of every chapter of Peggy's book, every single syllable of LLL, or what have you. *I* am not insecure about my parenting. But I used to be, when my son was 15 months old, and I had no idea that I was not the only person in the entire world who felt resentful when he was lying on top of me, nursing all night, every night, and having a hysterical fit if I even tried to move. From what I read here, I should be hearing Handel's Water Music and smelling rose petals, and I was selfish and not meeting his needs. Shame on me. I need to be the martyr. That is complete and utter b.s. I wandered onto a thread one day that was similar to what I described my feelings as, and OMG, it was as if the weight of the world was lifted. I was not the only one, and it was okay. IT WAS OKAY. This was a turning point in my mothering. It sounds strange, but I felt validated. And that was all I needed. I was going nutty inside, and just knowing I wasnt the only one, made the difference. I continued to nurse him for another year, and it was great. There are a million other examples of how MDC has benefited me.

I have met many many wonderful women on MDC who I look up to and strive to emulate in various areas of my mothering. Not all of them are perfect. Nor am I, and really, nor are anyone else. But there are alot of moms on here who are afraid to speak up, or speak truthfully about their situations, for fear that they are going to be gratutiously mocked or giving the cyber-eyebrow. And I vow to speak up. I have struggled and I want others to know that I have struggled and that it is okay to struggle, and okay to not feel 100% rosy-posy all the time, to want your child to get off of you, stop crying, and leave you alone sometimes. Its one thing to guide, another to judge. I am not saying anyone here WAS judgemental. I am explaining the reasoning for this post. I hardly post anymore, we are so busy, but I had to reply to this.

Again, I am sorry, back to regular programming. But I hope you see where this is coming from.

[clothcrazymom]

I'm unsubscribing to this thread.

I also felt the need to speak up. Because I felt that it was important to relay that it is very possible to do mother led weaning in a gentle respectful manner. And that there are alternatives to aversion techniques or abrupt, harsh weaning methods.

Since I've weaned my children (and joined this thread as I was in the weaning process with my youngest) I thought I may have some things to offer to support other moms.

I'm sorry if some may feel "not enough" on this site. But I'm not going to take on the responsibility for people feeling however they feel for things that have been said on many different forums. And no - no one can MAKE anyone feel anything. I think there were many things read into what was stated that simply were not stated.

There was no hiding behind anything. This site is a specific type of site. And to somehow act like it's just ok to do whatever would be a disservice to those who are reading.

Anyway....I'm done. I see that what I have to say is no longer (or maybe never was) a positive contribution so I would rather spend my energy elsewhere. And to those who have PM'd me in support - I appreciate it and wish you would all speak up on the thread.

[Corkonian]

I am sorry for the upset my post caused. It was not in the least the intention. I apologise for my ignorance in assuming that readers of the thread would automatically know me or that I would never to anything to traumatize my children, least of all suggest something that might do the same to yours. I truthfully thank you for making me realise my error - I should totally have elaborated on my original post to put the mustard idea into context.

Like I said in my first post, I did have my first child in an unmedicated vaginal breech birth. I thought that might give you an idea of me. I am a Montessori teacher (or at least was in my pre-child incarnation) and when pregnant with my first one of my Mom's gave me a copy of Mothering. I was immediately drawn to most (not all) of it's philosphies and ran to the nearest Birth Center. My relationship with my midwives there was what facilitated that amazing birth (it's very hard to find a Doc who will let a first-timer do a vaginal breech).

My babies have all been nursed on demand, day and night, worn in slings, co-slept, organically fed, stayed at home with and everything else I have thought necessary to their healthy and whole development. Like ZM, I don't do the whole she-bang. I admire and respect those who do, but it doesn't all work for me. I would never cast aspersions on anyone whose ideas differ from mine. Mothering and MDC are the forums which best suit my style of parenting. I have found them to be an oasis for me and loved the support and like-mindedness, on most matters, I have found here.

When I posted the mustard idea I should have stated more emphatically, that MLW of my son had begun months previous to the use of mustard (listen, I've had fillings without anesthesia to protect my nurslings - I would never to anything to hurt them). Like a previous post said, my second child would have wiped the stuff off in a heartbeat. My first child was too high needs for me to ever have thought of using mustard. My son was down to a "going to sleep nurse" and a "middle of the night" nurse and despite implementation of all the other wonderful ideas on this thread, was not giving them up. The mustard worked amazingly - I don't know where the idea came from, but it came. He looked at it, smelled it and that was it - he was done. He woke up that night at his usual time and asked for a cup of water! There was none of the resentment or broken-heartedness of weaning with him that there had been with my two daughters despite all my efforts towards a very gentle weaning with them. I lost no snuggle time - he was able to crawl in my lap and cuddle as early as the very next day without tearing at my shirt. Like I said, in his mind it was his idea! That was it - it was such a wonderful outcome, I decided to come out of the closet and share it. It worked for this baby at that time and I trust that readers of this thread will know themselves whether it is appropriate or not for them and their babies. For me, the most traumatic thing about this whole weaning has been the stir my sharing it has caused. Again, I'm sorry if sensibilities and theologies were offended. It was not the intention at all.

I think we do well to understand that even though MDC is an AP site, there is very little black and white in this world of parenting, and your idea of AP might not be mine and vice-versa. I hope that MDC would be a place of inclusion and support and that we would trust that the parents on this site are like minded at least, if not all doing exactly the same thing.

Blessings and peace to you all.

[JulietsMama]

Well, I have just read this entire thread of 9 pages and found it very very helpful! I'd love to jump in if it is still open, I hope the above disagreements have been settled and it is ok to continue now.

My dd is 2 years 7 mos and only nurses 4 times a day, morning, before nap, after nap, and bedtime. I feel I need to wean her completely but don't want to go cold turkey. I came here for advice on MLW and would love to tell my story and get any additional help. I am 4 mos pregnant, have had hyperemesis and that is why I got her cut back on her feedings to this point. I have come to the conclusion that CLW is not for us and that tandem nursing is not either. I have had sore nipples a lot too and just want a break before the new baby comes. I would love any more specific advice from those of you who have completely weaned on how you cut out the last few nursings in a gentle way.

I too have guilt over stopping nursing, part of me wants to continue, but I really think I need to stop for my own well being. My dd is barely hanging on most of the time and doesn't argue much when I tell her she must wait until naptime or bedtime. I would like to share a little of how I cut down on her nursings for those of you still working on night weaning etc.

I started on night weaning first because I have trouble sleeping as it is and once awakened I can't get back to sleep sometimes. At around 2 I started using the "drinkies go night-night" and she took it pretty well. I would let her nurse to sleep while telling her when she was finished Mommy and the drinkies would go nite nite and not wake up till the sun comes out. She had a few bad moments over a few nights. Dh had to comfort her several times. But I was surprized at how quickly she got used to the idea and didn't argue with me anymore. She also started sleeping through the night (cosleeps) better until early am when sun came out. We did have setbacks during that winter because she was still teething and got sick some, but once each problem was over, I would go back to no more drinkies till the sun comes out.

This did increase daytime nursings at first, but I didn't mind at the time because I just wanted to get more sleep. Then I got pg and sick and sore nipples and just had to cut back on daytime nursings too. I found it easiest to carry over the night time limits to daytime. By telling her she could only have drinkies when she was going to sleep, I was able to gently cut way back on nursings. She had some rough times here too of course but it seemed easier because she had already experienced it at night and knew I was serious.

Which leads me to my most important discovery, which was, persistence, stick with your story. If you are able to say the same thing over and over each time they ask and stick with it even if they do occasionally throw a fit, it really is true that they take to it much easier. At least in my experience. I always say it is not naptime or bedtime so no drinkies yet. The after nap or bed nursing comes when she is still waking up and we don't talk about it. So I do wonder how I will cut that one later!

So that's my amount of helping and here's my bit of asking for help from others. How did you cut out your last few nursings gently? I am thinking of doing one nursing at a time starting with the after nap one, it seems to be least favorite.

[lexbeach]

It's been 58 hours since I last nursed. . .

And I am an emotional mess. I feel so torn and conflicted. This was not my plan, and I don't feel great about it at all. What happened is that I threw my back out badly sometime on Saturday (probably doing some contorted tandem nursing while climbing the stairs type of thing ). I woke up Sunday in a lot of pain. I spent the morning in bed, icing and heating, etc. and then decided to get up and about and see if some activity might help (plus, I wasn't about to miss out on our local glbt pride march and rally!). I don't know if the activity made it worse, or what, but I woke up monday unable to move. It was freaky. I nursed the boys when they woke up from 4:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. and then dw entertained them until I could get to my body worker healer guy for some help. My back was in total spasm and there wasn't much he could do. He strongly suggested taking a muscle relaxer, and I finally agreed to. I just couldn't take the pain. But I knew that I wouldn't feel comfortable nursing with the meds in my milk. I figured that I would just nurse the boys inbetween meds, since they only last 12 hours.

That night I slept in our guest bed because it has a much firmer mattress (not generally a fan of firm, but I guess it is better for the back), and dw slept in our bed so she'd be able to hear the boys (guest room is in the basement, boys are on second floor). So in the morning, when the boys woke up, dw took care of them. She said they cried a little, but it wasn't hard to distract them from wondering where I was. They snuggled in bed with her and fell back asleep. When I woke up, I was still in excrutiating pain. The boys were so happy to see me, and loved me up, but didn't ask to nurse. Dw had told them that there was no nursing right now because mom had a "bad ow" (that's their word for "boo boo"). I took more meds, and spent another day lying flat on my back, no nursing. This morning we did the same thing (I'm still in the guest bed), and the boys were just as happy to see me in the morning, and didn't ask to nurse, although they did have some of their little animals nurse me.

It's strange because we'd reached this point in the weaning process where I just never offered to nurse them anymore. But last night I spent about 4 hours crying my eyes out, not being able to deal with the possibility of having my boys be totally weaned, wanting so badly to go to their room and offer them my breasts (which I'm sure they'd happily accept). I was planning to nurse them for four more months, and to have the ending be so gradual that we might not even notice it.

Instead, here we are. . . now it's been 58 hours since any nursing happened at all. It's so hard to think that we're done, but at the same time I feel like if we've gotten this far, we may as well be done. Jasper did ask to nurse a little this evening, and I rocked him in the chair instead, just checking to see if he would get hysterical or what. He just snuggled up with his hand on my breast, and within a minute or so was chipper again. He was pretty edgy all day, though. Very quick to tears (as was I). Luke has seemed totally great.

Oh, I just feel so conflicted. I didn't want it to be like this. I feel so weird, like I don't know who I am as a mother anymore. Nursing was such a HUGE part of it. They were still nursing for at least 2 hours out of every day. . . and now. . . nothing. My breasts are full, but not painfully so, and haven't been leaking or anything like that. No plugged ducts. It's so weird to think of them as non-nursing breasts now. I am no longer a nursing mother. It is very hard to wrap my head around.

Part of me does feel this little bit of relief. And I feel like already my boys are paying so much more attention to ME instead of just my boobs. They've been giving me so many hugs and kisses and we've been doing lots of snuggling. I realized that I never really got to just hold them and hug them, they were always just wanting to nurse (and if I didn't want to nurse, then it was a fight, not a nice snuggle moment), or not wanting to be in my arms at all.

What would you do in my situation? Should I just be strong and be done? I honestly feel like I'm having a much harder time of it than Luke and Jaz are, which is unexpected but maybe reassuring too? I mean, it does seem like they were ready, certainly more ready than I thought they were at this point.

I also had all these fantasies about what the "last nursing" would be like. Instead, I barely remember it since I was half-asleep. I did get a couple of good one-on-one nursing sessions in the day before, so I may just choose to remember those as the "last nursings." But then part of me thinks maybe there could be just one MORE last nursing, where I talk to the boys about it before hand, and I realize it as the last nursing while it's happening. Do you think this would be too confusing to the boys? I mean, I realize that it is entirely for my benefit since I don't know how much of the "last time" concept they understand at this point (27 months old). Dw thinks it's a really bad idea because then it would just be like starting all over again, that they would ask to nurse more than ever after having had this time without and then getting a taste for it again.

But the thought of never nursing them again is just so sad. I just never thought I'd be feeling so sad at this point. I don't want it to end this way.

Any advice warmly welcomed.

Thanks (and sorry to have rambled so extensively),

Lex

p.s. my back is feeling pretty okay at this point, no more meds, and I'm up and about.

[lovnbnhome]

Lex~I don't know what advice to say...I (personally) would stay strong but I am in a different 'state of mind' when it comes to my nursing right now, so I might not be the best to offer advise. I do wonder though if dc did ask to nurse, would you? That is something I have thought of often b/c dd is addicted to nursing. So far she hasn't asked for it when we aren't going to sleep...I might try to distract her to see if I could get her thinking about something else. Good luck in your adventures after nursing!

[lexbeach]

Well, I broke down and nursed them this morning. It had been 72 hours. I tried to think like, "this could be the last time. . . " and get better prepared for possible weaning. My nipples got pretty sore after just a couple minutes--there didn't seem to be much milk. I didn't think my supply would have dropped off so quickly.

They were both asking to nurse, and crying, and seeming really out of sorts. When I said that they could, they were so happy and excited. I'm thinking that I may try only nursing them first thing in the morning, and then gradually making those sessions shorter and shorter until they naturally disappear, like over the course of a month.

We'll see how it goes. . .

Lex