well said Tigerchild
I'm probably going to get totally flamed for this but here goes:
I too have seen what HIV/AIDs can do in real life- not in theory, not talking about "low risk vs high risk" or statistics but in real life- and knowing a close personal friend who contracted HIV from a "low risk" behavior- giving oral sex 3 times to an HIV pos man- I can tell you that as "low risk" as it may be deemed- people DO contract HIV from "low risk" situations- otherwise they would be called "no risk". I have seen how painful and debilitating HIV is- I see what kind of life my friend has. I am going to do everything in my power to protect my kids and myself from that.
|The thing is that blood (or semen or vag fluids, but really blood with children) would need to GET INTO an open wound. So if you have a child who bites another or scratches another, the biter/scratcher would have to be bleeding in order for any chance of transmission to occur.
And usually cuts are bleeding OUT, not allowing blood to enter in. So the risk would be theoretical to low at best. Even giviing oral sex to someone who is HIV+ is widely considered to be low risk unless you have open sores, and you are talking about someone ejaculating into your mouth. Getting a scratch or a child's bite seems pretty insignificant comparatively.
And I find it strange that people assume other people are not HIV+, or living with Hep, for that matter. If we're going to be *so* concerned if we know a child's HIV status, why do we assume that if we don't know it's negative.
It is for this reason that I also said I would allow my child to date someone who they know to be +. People are much more likely to take appropriate universal precautions if they know they or their partner is +.
I am just not comfortable with these hypotheticals- the "well the conditions would have to be this this and this" the fact is when kids are playing together anything can happen- unless you can assure me that those "conditions" could NEVER occur then hell no- I would never let a child who is still in the biting, licking, stratching, crazy behaviors out of no where, too young to explain how HUGE and horrible HIV is to them phase play with a child who I KNOW to have HIV. If I don't know a child's status, no I'm not going to request an Aids test or medical records- but I do intend to make a point of it to be aware of the health issues of my childs playmates- if a parent does not disclose the fact that their child is HIV + I would feel incredibly angry- but I can't control their deceptive behavior.
The issue here is this- if you ARE aware that a child has HIV would you be ok with your child playing with them? for me, no way unless both children were old enough to understand FULLY what behaviors could result in my child contracting a 100% LETHAL disease. How do you explain to a toddler that they can catch a disease that will kill them if they bite another child and draw blood AND happen to have bit their lip and have an open wound that day too? No toddler will understand the combination of conditions that COULD result in their slow and painful death! So no- I hate it if it isn't PC or even fair to HIV+ kids- but I'm sorry it isn't ignorant- I know the stats- how "low risk" it is but until it's "no risk" I cannot do it when I don't have to- yes we take risks everyday- we put our kids in cars, etc. but these are things that realistically we have to do unless we want to carry our child 10 miles to grandmas house and then walk 15 miles to work. I do not have to let my child play with a child who is HIV+
I would have no problem with my child playing with an HIV+ child when they are older- old enough to understand what AIDS is and how serious it is- and I trust them to not do crazy things like bite and such.
I would never tell my child they are "forbidden" to date anyone- if they are teens I don't feel like I can "forbid" things at all really- because they'll just do it behind my back- but I think I would try to get them to seriously consider how crazy it would be to date someone they know to have HIV- I mean why play with fire? why date someone you can NEVER have unprotected sex with without risking catching a fatal illness? There are enough people out there who you don't know about- that's why you use condoms every time- but when you know good and well that someone is HIV+ why in the world would you play roulette with your life like that- what happens when the condom breaks that 105th time you have sex and you have to worry non-stop that you have a fatal illness and will die early and painfully? What about children? You would never be able to have children with someone who is HIV+ (you would have to have unprotected sex to get pg) unless you are willing to risk your life and your baby's life. Why would you want to be with someone who you know will die early and you will have to see suffer for months or years before they do?
AIDS truly is a SERIOUS illness- we are right to have fear about it- we are right to be scared- we aren't right to be superstitious and think sitting on a toilet seat will give us AIDS or treating those who have AIDS nicely will give us AIDS- but we are right to acknowledge what is "low risk" is not "no risk" and some of us are not comfortable with "low risk" when it comes to a fatal disease.
I agree HIV+ kids should not be compared to weapons- it's not their fault- but quite frankly I am more concerned about my kids health than being "fair" to them if it means putting my kids in a situation of risk- call me selfish- but I'm not ignorant- I know the "low" risks and find them unacceptable for my kids.
It's a matter of judgement and personal experience- not ignorance for me- now flame away...