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Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child? - Page 6

post #101 of 184
I don't see why not. Honestly, I'd probably be extra vigilant if they were still in the "shove everything in their mouth" stage though. For both of their safety. Yes, I know the odds of HIV being transmitted by saliva are extremely slim to none. But that emotional, non-rational, mama bear part of me says "don't even take a tiny chance!" And of course, exposing an immune compromised child to any germs MY kid had would be dangerous too. So yeah, I'd be chasing them and trying to prevent the sharing of toys that were chewed.

And with older kids, we'd let them know, if someone gets hurt and is bleeding, don't try to deal with it yourself, get an adult to help. Actually, come to think of it, that's probably just good advice across the board, isn't it? Hmm.

Dating a person with HIV? Oh wow. Ok, gotta be un-PC here and say, I'd really rather they didn't. I wouldn't forbid it, but it would scare me. Teenagers dating and fooling around are a lot more likely to expose themselves to methods of transmission than kids playing together. I'd have a really serious talk with them about it, and then try to trust their judgement, but it would still freak me out.
post #102 of 184
Quote:
Didn't we learn anything from Ryan White?
Thismama,

I just want to say I had been thinking about his story reading these boards, too. He was such an inspiration to me, and one of the reasons (along with many brave and wonderful activists in San Francisco who were ignored b/c AIDS was just a "gay disease") I got involved in HIV/AIDS activism. If you don't know his story, it's here: http://aids.about.com/od/triumphsand.../ryanwhite.htm

Quote:
So many of us here at MDC are guarded at best when it comes to establishment/mainstream scientific research as it applies to vaccines, nutrition, pregnancy and birth, etc. Why are so many so quick to support it when it comes to HIV/AIDS? I'm ready to admit that there's so much we don't know about how vaccines work in the body and I'm ready to admit that there's so much we don't know about HIV/AIDS.
For me, I think it's because I know the mainstream people handing out info about formula, birth, vax, and such are the same people that profit financially from me buying formula, using their hospitals, and taking their vaccines. Having worked with so many AIDS activists, I have a hard time believing they would have any motive to misinform the public - in fact, they were working incredibly hard to inform to public about AIDS when no one in the mainstream wanted to hear about it.
post #103 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
And as soon as we start talking about not "letting" our kids play with someone who has HIV, we are assuming our kids don't *already* play with positive kids
Great posts, thismama. This is my thought....our child may already playing with positive kids!

And about teens....again, this is why we teach safe behavior and risky behavior. We simply don't know who is infected. The way I see it, the teen who choses to date an hiv+ person at least has the benefit of knowing, and will likely take the safe/risky behaviors more seriously.
post #104 of 184
I would. I'd be bit more careful, even though I know it can't be spread through casual contact/saliva, etc., I'd still be a bit more vigilent about swapping sippy cups, etc (DS is still very much in an oral phase and is too young to understand being careful)...more for my own peace of mind that any scientific reasons.

That being said, I didn't see any hatred in this thread - I see fear, and mamas are naturally over-protective of their children (how many of us have had other irrational fears regarding our kids?) I didn't see anyone suggest that children with HIV/AIDS be "shunned." I think it might be a more effective approach to enlightenment to accept the natural fears of mothers, but give them the information they need (in a non-judgmental way) to overcome that...it would go further in promoting education and understanding than attacking them for being protective.
post #105 of 184
The only hatred I saw was the "grenade" comment. That was out of line.
post #106 of 184
Yes I would allow my child to play with an HIV + child. Most likely their HIV status would be hidden and you would not know if they had HIV or not. Your child could be playing with an HIV + child right now and you would not even know it. I do have to admit though that I would be a little concerned if the child hurt themselves and was bleeding, or during rough boisterous play where someone could get hurt.
post #107 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishmommy
Gosh there are posters here who know a lot of violent children.
And that makes us scumbags? I think you are all being naive about the risks here. Yes, it's not a big deal with older children, but with really little kids? I've worked as a nanny and DCP in addition to being a mom and I have seen so many unsanitary bodily fluid incidents that yes, sometimes involved blood and scabs.

You should make this an anonymous poll b/c I have feeling the ones who would say "no" are going to be scared off by the pc police.
post #108 of 184
well said Tigerchild

I'm probably going to get totally flamed for this but here goes:

I too have seen what HIV/AIDs can do in real life- not in theory, not talking about "low risk vs high risk" or statistics but in real life- and knowing a close personal friend who contracted HIV from a "low risk" behavior- giving oral sex 3 times to an HIV pos man- I can tell you that as "low risk" as it may be deemed- people DO contract HIV from "low risk" situations- otherwise they would be called "no risk". I have seen how painful and debilitating HIV is- I see what kind of life my friend has. I am going to do everything in my power to protect my kids and myself from that.


Quote:
The thing is that blood (or semen or vag fluids, but really blood with children) would need to GET INTO an open wound. So if you have a child who bites another or scratches another, the biter/scratcher would have to be bleeding in order for any chance of transmission to occur.

And usually cuts are bleeding OUT, not allowing blood to enter in. So the risk would be theoretical to low at best. Even giviing oral sex to someone who is HIV+ is widely considered to be low risk unless you have open sores, and you are talking about someone ejaculating into your mouth. Getting a scratch or a child's bite seems pretty insignificant comparatively.


And I find it strange that people assume other people are not HIV+, or living with Hep, for that matter. If we're going to be *so* concerned if we know a child's HIV status, why do we assume that if we don't know it's negative.

It is for this reason that I also said I would allow my child to date someone who they know to be +. People are much more likely to take appropriate universal precautions if they know they or their partner is +.


I am just not comfortable with these hypotheticals- the "well the conditions would have to be this this and this" the fact is when kids are playing together anything can happen- unless you can assure me that those "conditions" could NEVER occur then hell no- I would never let a child who is still in the biting, licking, stratching, crazy behaviors out of no where, too young to explain how HUGE and horrible HIV is to them phase play with a child who I KNOW to have HIV. If I don't know a child's status, no I'm not going to request an Aids test or medical records- but I do intend to make a point of it to be aware of the health issues of my childs playmates- if a parent does not disclose the fact that their child is HIV + I would feel incredibly angry- but I can't control their deceptive behavior.

The issue here is this- if you ARE aware that a child has HIV would you be ok with your child playing with them? for me, no way unless both children were old enough to understand FULLY what behaviors could result in my child contracting a 100% LETHAL disease. How do you explain to a toddler that they can catch a disease that will kill them if they bite another child and draw blood AND happen to have bit their lip and have an open wound that day too? No toddler will understand the combination of conditions that COULD result in their slow and painful death! So no- I hate it if it isn't PC or even fair to HIV+ kids- but I'm sorry it isn't ignorant- I know the stats- how "low risk" it is but until it's "no risk" I cannot do it when I don't have to- yes we take risks everyday- we put our kids in cars, etc. but these are things that realistically we have to do unless we want to carry our child 10 miles to grandmas house and then walk 15 miles to work. I do not have to let my child play with a child who is HIV+

I would have no problem with my child playing with an HIV+ child when they are older- old enough to understand what AIDS is and how serious it is- and I trust them to not do crazy things like bite and such.

I would never tell my child they are "forbidden" to date anyone- if they are teens I don't feel like I can "forbid" things at all really- because they'll just do it behind my back- but I think I would try to get them to seriously consider how crazy it would be to date someone they know to have HIV- I mean why play with fire? why date someone you can NEVER have unprotected sex with without risking catching a fatal illness? There are enough people out there who you don't know about- that's why you use condoms every time- but when you know good and well that someone is HIV+ why in the world would you play roulette with your life like that- what happens when the condom breaks that 105th time you have sex and you have to worry non-stop that you have a fatal illness and will die early and painfully? What about children? You would never be able to have children with someone who is HIV+ (you would have to have unprotected sex to get pg) unless you are willing to risk your life and your baby's life. Why would you want to be with someone who you know will die early and you will have to see suffer for months or years before they do?

AIDS truly is a SERIOUS illness- we are right to have fear about it- we are right to be scared- we aren't right to be superstitious and think sitting on a toilet seat will give us AIDS or treating those who have AIDS nicely will give us AIDS- but we are right to acknowledge what is "low risk" is not "no risk" and some of us are not comfortable with "low risk" when it comes to a fatal disease.

I agree HIV+ kids should not be compared to weapons- it's not their fault- but quite frankly I am more concerned about my kids health than being "fair" to them if it means putting my kids in a situation of risk- call me selfish- but I'm not ignorant- I know the "low" risks and find them unacceptable for my kids.

It's a matter of judgement and personal experience- not ignorance for me- now flame away...
post #109 of 184
I have let my children play with an HIV+ child, and I would again.
post #110 of 184
When i have babies of my own...

Yes.. I would let them play with/date etc. All it takes is a little knowledge to keep you safe. Universal precautions are just that... universal.

Dharmamama... Blessings to you and your family.
post #111 of 184
I agree with LoveChild421... I've seen HIV and AIDS up close in my friends... a few contracted from high risk behaviors, but a couple contracted HIV through very low risk situations... low risk does NOT equal NO risk... we take enough risks with our children everyday, I don't want to take more chances than I have to.
post #112 of 184
>HIV is transmitted by blood or sexually transmitted<

HIV is transmitted through bodily fluids. Saliva IS also a bodily fluid. Research being done by Scientists is not 100% by any means. Luckily they're making new discoveries everyday.

>if people think this way they should do some research<

Not looking for an argument, but what research have you done? Unfortunately, I have had to deal w/friends of HIV and a brother deathly ill w/Hep C. I have some great links, but we are moving and most everything is packed. I'll see what I can dig up...I think it would be good for this forum.

>and some soul searching.. it saddens and shocks me that people can be soo blind and so scared.<

I don't feel anyone here is being blind to the subject, there's alot to question. Being scared of HIV is completely normal. Once we take the time to learn about this evil disease, our minds will be put at rest and we can make confident decisions for our kids.

In response to the OP. I think it's good to be on your guard where HIV and your children are concerned. But IMO, I would do some resarch about it all and make a decision for your self/dc. Yes, I would/have let my son play with infected children/ his Hep C + uncle. No drinks were shared and everyone was sniffle/cough free at the time. HIV children shouldn't be left out.

On the subject of your baby and non vax'd kids...the one thing you shouldn't fear are the unvax'd kids. They haven't been injected w/the diseases I assume you're worried about.
post #113 of 184
post #114 of 184
Yes I would.
In regards to the low risk still being a risk. I ride horses, Dd likes to get on too. The risk that the horse will freak, and Dd will get hurt is very minimal, but it is there. Will I forbid her from riding? No. Would I forbid her from from playing with someone who has AIDS/HIV? No. I try to protect my children from many things, but I also understand that there are always risks, unless you live in a bubble.
Sandy
post #115 of 184
There is a big different between riding horses and playing with an HIV+ child. You are an adult and know the precautions to take when riding horses... I'd assume you wouldn't put your young daughter on a horse with no helmet and just let her ride off alone until she was old enough and knew what she was doing, would you?

Young children however are not responsible like adults and don't understand that biting, scratching, etc can be dangerous. I would (and have) let my DD be watched by HIV+ adults, but they are responsible and KNOW what not to do.

BIG difference.
post #116 of 184
Learning begins before we know it.
I would, with supervision; and here's why...
My daughter needs to learn about safe, loving and respectful interaction with the rest of the world -- the sooner the better.
Chances are, that the HIV child is also in the process of learninghow to interact with other children.
Wouldn't it be great to help make life easier and more accepting for somebody whose whole life is going to revolve in one way or another around the concepts of exclusion and separation?
post #117 of 184
Quote:
Wouldn't it be great to help make life easier and more accepting for somebody whose whole life is going to revolve in one way or another around the concepts of exclusion and separation?
post #118 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by amydidit
There is a big different between riding horses and playing with an HIV+ child. You are an adult and know the precautions to take when riding horses... I'd assume you wouldn't put your young daughter on a horse with no helmet and just let her ride off alone until she was old enough and knew what she was doing, would you?

Young children however are not responsible like adults and don't understand that biting, scratching, etc can be dangerous. I would (and have) let my DD be watched by HIV+ adults, but they are responsible and KNOW what not to do.

BIG difference.
My point was that there is a risk (however slight)in sooo many things that our children do.
I don't think that Dd playing with a HIV+ child and doing something like you described are really the same.
I would be the responsible adult and watch my child, she is 2 1/2, thats what I do when she plays with any other kids.
Sandy
post #119 of 184
I am pretty sure that you are more likely to be killed in a car accident on your way to the playdate than by contracting HIV.

I am also pretty sure that a good majority of parents with HIV+ children watch them closely in situations where they are with other kids and are aware of any risks.
post #120 of 184
In the interest of education and not spreading misinformation I have to address this:

Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveChild421
The issue here is this- if you ARE aware that a child has HIV would you be ok with your child playing with them? for me, no way unless both children were old enough to understand FULLY what behaviors could result in my child contracting a 100% LETHAL disease.
HIV is NOT a 100% lethal disease and in fact there are many people who have been and currently are HIV+ for most of their life and have not developed AIDS. I know someone on year 20.

Does that mean I don't care of my child contracts it, or I don't take it seriously? No. But I don't want fo scare my child either. I will relay the facts to my child and the fact is kids don't get HIV by playing with + kids.

And as for biting:

Simple contact between blood and intact skin is not enough to transmit HIV. Three conditions are necessary for transmission:

* The blood must be fresh.
* There must be a sufficient quantity.
* It must have a route of entry into the bloodstream of the uninfected person.

Biting often concerns parents, but there has never been a confirmed case of transmission by biting. To risk transmission, a child infected with HIV would have to have fresh blood in his mouth and break the skin of an uninfected child. An uninfected biter would have a theoretical risk of exposure only if he broke the skin of a child infected with HIV and drew blood into his mouth. Such events are very unlikely.

That's from: http://www.cfc-efc.ca/docs/cccf/rs033_en.htm
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