or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child? - Page 8

post #141 of 184
Back on the topic of contracting the disease from another child...maybe someone will find this email I got interesting?

Thank you for contacting the CDC National Prevention Information Network.

Jennifer,

There has never been a documented case of transmission from child to child. Casual play or even rough play is not considered a risk for HIV. If you would like to read more information about HIV, you can visit or contact:

CDC HIV Website http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/dhap.htm
CDC National STD and AIDS Hotline, 24/7, 1-800-342-2437 or hivnet@ashastd.org
ASHA HIV FAQ http://www.ashastd.org/stdfaqs/aidshiv.html
Please feel free to contact us if you need further assistance.

CMN 0322


CDC's National Prevention Information Network (NPIN)
Monday - Friday 9:00 am - 8:00 pm EST

800-458-5231 English/Spanish
919-361-4892 International
800-243-7012 TTY
919-361-4884 International TTY
888-282-7681 FAX on Demand
919-361-4887 International FAX on Demand

NPIN Web site: http://www.cdcnpin.org
Email us: info@cdcnpin.org


Now for those that are saying that they just can't see putting their child in a situation where they could control the risk...

Quote:
It is about risk vs benefit- I know that driving probably is more dangerous than letting kids play with HIV+ kids, but the thing is I can't avoid driving- I can avoid letting my toddler play with an HIV+ kid very easily. There are plenty of other kids out there. Again, it may not be "fair" to the HIV+ child but this isn't about race or political affiliation- it's about THE WORST DISEASE OUT THERE!!! This isn't the sniffles or something.
Do you let your children eat hamburgers because there is that nasty Ecoli thing to worry about, Salmonella for chicken, non vaxers risk death by chicken pox, measles and whatnot, vaxers risk death by bad vaccine reaction, and if you were to look at the amount of communicable diseases out there that your child could catch you would be shocked. And these are all risks you can avoid, right? And these are all things that actually have been documented! So before you say "screw you HIV+ child stay away from my kid" maybe remember that there are many many things you do daily that have a risk of death for your children.
post #142 of 184
How can people not avoid driving?

I am also annoyed by the assumption that those of us who would allow their children to play with an HIV+ child are just being pc or taking risks with our children's lives.
post #143 of 184
ok so let me get this all straight-

-HIV/AIDS is no big deal- maybe not even a real disease according to some and Africa doesn't have an AIDS epidemic going on??? :

-and we might as well let our small kids play with HIV+ kids because hell we drive them to their Grandma's so we can go to work to support them and hell we feed them the food we can afford and make decisions regarding vaccines, and they go to school where they might catch chickenpox- so hey why not add the risk of contracting AIDS to the mix- why not?

with that logic I shouldn't even buckle up when I drive- I'm already risking it anyway huh?

NO, there is a big difference in the risks that we encounter in life that are virtually unavoidable and the risks that we can easily avoid- I suppose I could WALK 15 miles a day to school and work and such but really let's keep it within the realm of reality.

Keeping my small child from playing with an HIV+ child- easy I just don't take my kid around that kid- once again this is about KNOWN risk- I can't do anything about the kids I don't know about- but when I am AWARE of a risk- I act accordingly and for me that means not exposing my young toddler to HIV.

My mom told me about AIDS when I was in preschool and that you shouldn't ever touch anyones blood, etc- but you know what? I still had a "blood sister" and I still did crazy things like help my friends pull their teeth which bled all over the place without thinking about that open wound on my hand from when I just fell down. My mom couldn't watch me at all times- if these kids I played with had had HIV I probably would have gotten it. I know the risk on any given day in any given situation is small but all it takes it one day with one right situation for you to end up with an HIV+ child. The CDC can tell me this has never happened to their knowledge, they also tell me there is no link between vaccines and autism, allergies, etc. and that it's find to inject newborns with Hep. B vaccine- I don't buy that either. I am taking 3 statistics courses right now and I can tell you that it takes a whole lot of cases for something to be "proven" or considered statistically significant- that doesn't mean cases don't exist- just that there aren't enough to "matter" or be "conclusive".

I wish I could tell my friend who has HIV that it isn't a real disease- that his body has antibodies to it and that means he's a-ok- I wish I could tell him that "hey it's no big deal you could live for a long time"- but when you SEE him- you know HIV isn't just some myth or something that isn't a big deal- he went a year at least before starting drugs and in that year he had all sorts of mystery illnesses, weird growths, etc. NO ONE can tell me HIV isn't what's killing my friend.
post #144 of 184
simple answer: yes of course.. i don't want to teach ignorance
post #145 of 184
Yes, I would. However, I would have to educate my child on universal procautions if I hadnt done so already.
post #146 of 184
who ever said that HIV is no big deal? There are people who should still be in my life that aren't because of it.

Quote:
-and we might as well let our small kids play with HIV+ kids because hell we drive them to their Grandma's so we can go to work to support them and hell we feed them the food we can afford and make decisions regarding vaccines, and they go to school where they might catch chickenpox- so hey why not add the risk of contracting AIDS to the mix- why not?
obviously you didn't really catch what I was saying. I'm saying we all make daily decisions that carry a risk that's higher than contracting HIV from another child. I never said anyone was good or bad for making them and we gotta do what we gotta do (and hopefully in an educated manner) but it doesn't change the fact that life is chock full of risks and for me, my child contracting HIV from another child isn't one that I am worried about.
post #147 of 184
Quote:
My mom told me about AIDS when I was in preschool and that you shouldn't ever touch anyones blood, etc- but you know what? I still had a "blood sister" and I still did crazy things like help my friends pull their teeth which bled all over the place without thinking about that open wound on my hand from when I just fell down.
I had a blood brother in high school. He was a virgin who had never injected drugs. What's the risk there? For someone to give you HIV they have to have it, which means they have to engage in high risk behavior themselves.

Most of us have said they won't "require" all their children's playmates to be tested for disease. So who do you go about rejecting as your child's friend? Which children would you demand have an HIV test before playing with your child? Children of gay parents? Children from other countries (especially Africa)? Children from poor families, or who live in unclean conditions? Children who just "look sick"? If one of your child's friends gets sexually molested, do they have to have an HIV test before they are welcome in your home again?

What about hepatitis? That can be spread a lot easier than HIV can. It can also kill you. There are all sorts of diseases you can get from blood and other bodily fluids.
post #148 of 184
Quote:
Most of us have said they won't "require" all their children's playmates to be tested for disease. So who do you go about rejecting as your child's friend? Which children would you demand have an HIV test before playing with your child? Children of gay parents? Children from other countries (especially Africa)? Children from poor families, or who live in unclean conditions? Children who just "look sick"? If one of your child's friends gets sexually molested, do they have to have an HIV test before they are welcome in your home again?
Good questions.
post #149 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
What about hepatitis? That can be spread a lot easier than HIV can. It can also kill you. There are all sorts of diseases you can get from blood and other bodily fluids.
Yep!

My father is a retired physician and used to teach medical classes. He always "got" students on the following question:

"You have a patient who you know is HIV+, what special precautions do you take when treating them?"

The correct answer is NONE. There are no "special" precautions--each patient should be treated with the utmost regard to safety and sterility.

I think we should treat all children that same way--if there is blood: be careful--use gloves, clean up with bleach, etc. These are common sense first-aid issues, which if applied to all situations, would make having HIV+ people around a non-issue .
post #150 of 184
I sure would.
post #151 of 184
Quote:
The correct answer is NONE. There are no "special" precautions--each patient should be treated with the utmost regard to safety and sterility.
I heard that Christine Maggiore was refused hospital admission for labor and delivery because she would not agree to take AZT. I don't get it. If someone has HIV, aren't they still contagious if they take AZT? If an AIDS patient is taking AZT, is it OK to have unprotected sex with them?
post #152 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
I had a blood brother in high school. He was a virgin who had never injected drugs. What's the risk there? For someone to give you HIV they have to have it, which means they have to engage in high risk behavior themselves.
That just not true... I have a couple friends who are HIV+ and never engaged in high risk activities... just because someone never does anything *high risk* does NOT mean they can't get it. And what about children who are born HIV+? What high risk behavior did they engage in?
post #153 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by amydidit
That just not true... I have a couple friends who are HIV+ and never engaged in high risk activities... just because someone never does anything *high risk* does NOT mean they can't get it. And what about children who are born HIV+? What high risk behavior did they engage in?
If you have HIV, either you engaged in high risk behavior or someone else did and then passed it to you. I'm guessing your friends were either born to HIV+ moms, got it through unsafe hospital procedures, or got it through sex or needle sharing.
post #154 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by amydidit
That just not true... I have a couple friends who are HIV+ and never engaged in high risk activities... just because someone never does anything *high risk* does NOT mean they can't get it. And what about children who are born HIV+? What high risk behavior did they engage in?

So how did your friends aquire HIV? Do they know the test is not actually reliable; that there is no "Gold Standard" for HIV? Also:

Quote:
Cross-reactions with non-HIV antibodies have been documented in the presence of the following: First, other retroviruses besides HIV. For instance, the flu virus - that's right, the common cold virus. Now what does that mean? That means that you can get a cold, be a healthy individual, a healthy gay, a healthy heterosexual. You go in and you get an HIV antibody test. The antibodies to your flu virus or your cold virus could cross-react and show that you're HIV positive. You would freak out. You'd wonder how you got infected. And then immediately you'd be put on AZT and then guess what? You would end up with all kinds of immuno-depression.

Now, it also cross reacts with, guess what? Herpes simplex II. That's right. All of you out there who have Herpes simplex -- what is that, about half the population? Half this radio audience? Yep! Half the population has herpes. Well, herpes simplex II can cross-react with the HIV antibody test and make you "positive."

Hepatitis B virus. All Mycobacterial species including tuberculosis, leprosy, and M*avium. Vaccinations like the flu vaccine, the hepatitis vaccine. Even pregnancy itself changes your hormones so that you can cross react and create a positive antibody test. Blood transfusions.*.*. hemophilia .*.*. blood-clotting factor .*.*. sperm. That's correct: sperm also.

Other causes of cross reactions are auto-immune diseases like lupus, arthritis, rheumatoid arthritis. Then there is Sogrin's disease, cancer such as multiple myeloma, alcoholic hepatitis, alcoholism, liver disease, natural occurring antibodies such as antibodies to nuclear antigens, human T-cells, mitochondria, cellular actin, tapeworms, parasites, malaria, malnutrition.

http://www.sumeria.net/aids/garynu2.html

HIV Test


And I said I was going to shut up.
post #155 of 184
My first response was yes, why wouldn't I allow it in this day and age...
thinking it over further, it would probably be a case-by-case situation if I'm being very honest about myself and how I make decisions.
It would depend more on the children involved and the parent's attitude. If the parents are open about it, answer my questions, and seem to want to put me at ease then I'd feel more comfortable about that situation than a situation where the parent is evasive, defensive or automatically puts me down for even having concerns. I don't like making asumptions on what everyone knows or does. I do have to look out for my own dd regardless of feelings and being pc. I'd probably do research, ask questions and talk to dh before making a decision. We'd do the same with something like horseback riding btw.
My dd is 4 and never was part of a playgroup. She isn't very physically agressive with other children and is rarely sick (not fully vaxed btw). If the kids involved were visibly ill or very rough with each other I would probably be more concerned about health than a situation where the kids look healthy and are playing cards or on the swings regardless of medical diagnosis.
Dd is 4 and I haven't contemplated her dating anyone yet. I think it'll be more up to her than me when she is that age (many years from now... like 30 maybe).
post #156 of 184
Of course.

As for risk and rewards - the risk of teaching them to avoid people who are different is a risk whereas there is just about no risk of HIV being transmitted in a playgroup.

I saw the subject and only read the last & first thread (just don't have time to do the whole thread tonight) so advance apologies if I am repeating something that has been discussed....I would be very concerned that my kids would pass a cold or flu onto an HIV+ child that could become very serious given their compromised immune system and would want to talk in great detail with their mom about increasing the normal germ protection routine.

BJ
Barney & Ben
post #157 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by wildmonkeys
As for risk and rewards - the risk of teaching them to avoid people who are different is a risk whereas there is just about no risk of HIV being transmitted in a playgroup.
Well said. Yes, I cannot say that there is absolutely zero risk of transmission. I can say that the risk of transmission is low low low low low. And the risk of teaching intolerance or fear is pretty high.
post #158 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveChild421
-and we might as well let our small kids play with HIV+ kids because hell we drive them to their Grandma's so we can go to work to support them and hell we feed them the food we can afford and make decisions regarding vaccines, and they go to school where they might catch chickenpox- so hey why not add the risk of contracting AIDS to the mix- why not?
But the point is, there are lots and lots (horribly many) incidences every year where children die in car accidents, and many cases each year of food poisoning, vax injury/death, etc.

But there are *no* documented cases of HIV transfer from child-to-child thru play.

The former is an actual risk. The latter is an imagined risk. And the irony is, we (as a culture) are more fearful and avoidant of the imagined risk.
post #159 of 184
I just asked my dh this question and he looked at me for a long time and finally said, "Wow. HIV+, huh? Hmmm...why not?" And then, "How do we know they don't already?" And, "Seriously, what's the risk?"

And we do have a child who is considered to have an immune-deficiency. I take risks everyday with him. Going to any play group, any playground, any grocery store is a risk with him. As sunnmama said, those are real risks. He's in far more danger from someone's sticky dairy-infested hands than he is from a child with HIV. But, I can't keep him in a bubble; I do what I can to keep him safe wherever we are.

I don't see a lot of hatred on this thread (although, again, I'm still appalled about that grenade comment.); I just see a lot of fear. I was going to say ignorance, but I think people can know the facts and still act illogically out of the fear that has been so strongly perpetuated.

Missy
post #160 of 184
Of course I would.

I just read through this whole thread, and I would like to know:
THose of you who said "no," how do you deal with encounters with children or adults whose HIV status is unknown? Do you never allow your child to play with others?

Also, so many of the "reasons" for not allowing it apply to older children (blood brothers, loose teeth, etc). With this reasoning, you should feel safer with a toddler than a school-age child, unless there truly is no amount of education, information or logic that will affect your decision making.

To the OP: . Congratulations on your new child! I hope you can find a group of nice, informed moms and kids soon.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child?