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Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child? - Page 9

post #161 of 184
You know, I did a little research on the person who's been writing the articles about how HIV doesn't cause AIDS, and how HIV is no big deal and can totally be treated with nutrition and such. His name is Gary Null.

Here are some links about him:

http://www.quackwatch.org/04ConsumerEducation/null.html

Note: Quackwatch is a VERY HEAVILY medical biased site. But it does give a basic rundown of Null's credentials and some past activities.


http://www.salon.com/books/feature/2002/05/21/null/

Note: The author of this article is an HIV+ person who takes the AZT cocktail, but whose friend followed Null's plan. Inherent bias there too, but also a good rundown of what the program (and the costs) are.


So...I dunno. It's not like the pharm. industry is primed for sainthood (boy howdy, it is SO not), but this guy could have some obvious ulterior motives too.

Too bad that most public universities here are in bed with corporate interests. Though it's not so everywhere--personally, I think some REAL research, double blind studies, would be nice.

I guess something about this raises red flags for me, but it's just personal bias. I had an uncle who discovered he had early stages prostate cancer--he decided to try alternative therapies for awhile (which actually improved the rest of him, healthwise), but when the cancer got worse he decided to go to a treatment guru in Mexico, and spend more $$ than he ever would have paid for chemo, and by the time he gave up and got back the cancer was in his bones and he died horribly and painfully.

I DO believe in non-institutional/medical therapies...but I think when someone is very rabidly against other treatments other than their own, and they're trying to sell you something, you have to be careful about what they say. Whether they're an MD or a vitamin salesperson or a faith healer.

I'm going to bow out of this subject though. Since the articles of this guy have been posted multiple times, though, I thought it was important to know a little more about him.

****

On topic:

I think I definitely fall into the situational camp on this one. I do not allow my children to hang out with all HIV- children, so why the heck would I allow them to play with a kid just because they DO have HIV?

And if it's wrong to have twinges of fear when you are confronted with weighing the advantages/disadvantages of a given situation, I am SO there baby. I like that little tingle of fear. It helps me protect my kids. Since I've accepted that my fear is there for a reason, and that I am more than capable of deciding how to respond to it (whether it would be to ask more questions, make sure I had latex gloves available just in case, or whatever), I don't think fear is wrong or bad.

I wouldn't make my kid play with another to be PC. But if there is a good feeling, if I like the parent and their kid, then it'd probably be fine. I would feel no guilt about the twinge of fear though. Why should it? It's never wrong to listen to your internal mama bear--you just have to be prepared to deal with the consequences of your in/action.
post #162 of 184
Wow MamaBear...I mean Tigerchild I liked what you say.
post #163 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild
You know, I did a little research on the person who's been writing the articles about how HIV doesn't cause AIDS, and how HIV is no big deal and can totally be treated with nutrition and such. His name is Gary Null.

Here are some links about him:

http://www.quackwatch.org/04ConsumerEducation/null.html

Note: Quackwatch is a VERY HEAVILY medical biased site. But it does give a basic rundown of Null's credentials and some past activities.
In all fairness, here's a bit more info on Stephen Barrett of Quackwatch, the de-licenced MD who runs Quackwatch from the basement of his home in PA, couldn't they do better than that?

http://www.quackpotwatch.org

Bowing out as well....
post #164 of 184
Of course, if a child's playmate has HIV, it's very unlikely we will know about it. With all the ignorance, it's something people are going to keep to themselves, understandably. If I or my children are unlucky enough to get HIV, you can bet no one is going to know about it so we won't be kicked out of playgroups and have no one want to sit next to us in case we start spurting blood everywhere.
post #165 of 184
I agree Greaseball. My husband and I were talking about this thread, and we decided if god forbid, one of us or our relatives ever contracts something like HIV, we won't be telling anyone. Before I saw this thread, I would have told people, but I can't believe some people's reactions. My husband asked me what if it was their children that was HIV+. I said I didn't know, but they must be okay with being ostracized or else they would be hypocrites.
post #166 of 184
Of course I would, assuming the kids got along well.

And I am very offended that those who answered YES are being accused of trying to be PC. Give me a break. I would never make a choice that involves my children just so a bunch of people online can think I am PC.

Ignorance is 100% lethal.
post #167 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild
I think I definitely fall into the situational camp on this one. I do not allow my children to hang out with all HIV- children, so why the heck would I allow them to play with a kid just because they DO have HIV?
No one's talking about going out of one's way to find HIV+ playmates... The question is, if the situation were to arise, would you not allow your child to play with an HIV+ child solely because they are HIV+?
post #168 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
Of course, if a child's playmate has HIV, it's very unlikely we will know about it. With all the ignorance, it's something people are going to keep to themselves, understandably.
Before reading this thread I wouldn’t have thought this but I can see this now. How sad.
post #169 of 184

Er

My take is to educate children to do N-O-T-H-I-N-G that can transmit any diseases between them, with anyone.

Period.

Then it becomes a non issue.
post #170 of 184
We just had this situation appear in our family this last week. One of Kaitlyn's friends from church is not only HIV+, but she is full blown AIDS. She was adopted from Haiti and was a stage B 3+ when she came here.

Miraculously she seems to be fine right now...and her case is being studied.

My point though is that i have NO issues with the girls playing together. We will be educating the children on what AIDS is...and how to be careful if there are injuries.

Tatanya and Kaitlyn are already the best of friends. And I will do nothing to stop them from having a good friendship.
post #171 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
If I or my children are unlucky enough to get HIV, you can bet no one is going to know about it so we won't be kicked out of playgroups and have no one want to sit next to us in case we start spurting blood everywhere.

:

Well said Greaseball.
post #172 of 184
Hey, here's something we can all worry about - what if you were jogging with someone who had HIV, and they fell and got a major gash and blood squirted into the air and got into the open wound you just happened to have on the day you went jogging with someone who had HIV.

OMG!!!
post #173 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by annakiss
No one's talking about going out of one's way to find HIV+ playmates... The question is, if the situation were to arise, would you not allow your child to play with an HIV+ child solely because they are HIV+?
Yeah, and when people said "I don't know, it would depend on the circumstance", they were jumped on for being hateful and ignorant. Well, pot, meet kettle! We all make judgement calls like that. Why should HIV be somehow untouchable? I don't know about you, but I don't make judgement calls about continual playmates based on one factor. That'd be rather stupid, don't you think?

I'd let my child play with an HIV+ child that I liked or that I got along with the parent, and that meshed well with my kid. I probably wouldn't let my child play with an HIV+ child whose parent made me want to beat my head against the wall, or who had a personality that clashed with my child's to the point that the entire time was spent refereeing fights. I realize that in most cases, it's a mix. So it would depend, frankly, on my mood and what mattered most to me that day. (For me personally, well-meshing kids trump even a parent I want to strangle.)

Yet, when people have said "I don't know" or "it depends", people play the "O how ignorant" card (which you know and I know is a flat out insult on these boards).

Gee, maybe I really am super enlightened, because I think that HIV status isn't any more important than any other factor in what makes a good playmate for my kid! Because I really couldn't give a rat's behind about it, I can't say whether or not I'd allow "an HIV+ child" to play with mine. HIV is a virus, not a bodysnatching personality-altering entity. So, what's the kid like? Do I like them? Is their parent annoying? Will I have to drive an hour to get there? If I politely decline, will the parent go berserk and call me a close-minded bigot, assuming it's the virus I fear, instead of me worried about my disaster area of a house?

HIV is not something to sniff at. But really, there are more important things in my hierarchy. But sorry, I call BS on people wanting to box folks into a corner where you MUST say yes with no qualifiers, or else you might as well have burned down the Whites' house (or you are a pitiful moron).
post #174 of 184
Huh??????

Ok, I guess this is one of those situations of reading between the lines.

I simply assumed that the question being asked was "all other things being equal, would you let your child play with an HIV+ child?" I never said, nor did I understand anyone else to say, that I would go out of my way to find HIV+ children for my child to play with, or force my child to play with HIV+ children. How bizarre would that be? Of course I wouldn't let my child play with a horrible little brat, regardless of their HIV status. Correct me if I'm wrong everyone else, I just really don't think that's the conversation that the rest of us have been having.
post #175 of 184
:LOL
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
Hey, here's something we can all worry about - what if you were jogging with someone who had HIV, and they fell and got a major gash and blood squirted into the air and got into the open wound you just happened to have on the day you went jogging with someone who had HIV.

OMG!!!
post #176 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild
HIV is not something to sniff at. But really, there are more important things in my hierarchy. But sorry, I call BS on people wanting to box folks into a corner where you MUST say yes with no qualifiers, or else you might as well have burned down the Whites' house (or you are a pitiful moron).
Please calm down. No one's jumping on anyone for the reasons you're stating. This thread is going along quite smoothly, despite it's controversial nature, and I'd like it to continue that way.

guerrillamama said quite nicely what I was attempting to say in my previous post.
post #177 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by guerrillamama
Correct me if I'm wrong everyone else, I just really don't think that's the conversation that the rest of us have been having.
It sure isn't the conversation I thought I was having (or thought I was reading!).

Tigerchild, I think most of us were assuming "would you let your child play with an HIV+ child?" meant, would HIV status alone be a determining factor. Would you forbid your child playing with a great playmate because said playmate was HIV+. From your stance in your last post, it seems like you are arguing with people who share your pov!
post #178 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kirsten
I understand the poster who said no or with extreme supervision when the kids are little, but more comfortable with it when they are older and more able to understand universal precautions. I know the risks are low - I think everyone understands the risks are low - but there is the possibility, no? That slight possibility (of a fatal illness) is what scares people.
True, but the parents who would not let their kids play with an HIV+ child are probably allowing them to engage in much "riskier" behaviors--such as riding in a car. There is a huge number of activities that carry with them a very, very small risk of death--driving, crossing the street, flying, eating at a restaurant (E coli), etc. We engage in these activities--and allow our families to do so--because the risk is small and the pay-off is comparably great(convenience, visiting the grandparents, seeing the world, not having to cook when you're exhausted, whatever). The risk is similarly miniscule with an HIV+ child, but the payoff is, in my opinion, much greater--namely demonstrating to that child that s/he is a valuable person deserving of love, not someone to be feared and shunned (and demonstrating that to your own child as well).
post #179 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by NYCVeg
True, but the parents who would not let their kids play with an HIV+ child are probably allowing them to engage in much "riskier" behaviors--such as riding in a car. There are a huge number of activities that carry with them a very, very small risk of death--driving, crossing the street, flying, eating at a restaurant (E coli), etc. We engage in these activities--and allow our families to do so--because the risk is small and the pay-off is comparably great(convenience, visiting the grandparents, seeing the world, not having to cook when you're exhausted, whatever). The risk is similarly miniscule with an HIV+ child, but the payoff is, in my opinion, much greater--namely demonstrating to that child that s/he is a valuable person deserving of love, not someone to be feared and shunned (and demonstrating that to your own child as well).
This is such a great post!!!! You beautifully demonstrated what the benefit is.

I asked my DH last night and he responded "sure, so long as they're not sharing needles :LOL
post #180 of 184
There was an interesting study on the BBC website the other day - sorry, don't have the link. They looked at HIV positive parents, and found that in the U.S., a majority actually reduce physical contact with their children, for example hugs and kisses, also sharing utensils, for fear of infecting the child. There was no such reduction in contact among U.K. parents. The researchers were surprised and, it seemed, saddened, by the U.S. parents' behaviour, which caused emotional distress to both them and their children, and does not reflect what is known about HIV transmission.
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