or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child? - Page 4

post #61 of 184
Of course I would allow it. I'm so surprised by some of the responses! But hten I was in elementary school in the 80's and high school in the 90's....so information about HIV has been given to me from a pretty young age, I just grew up knowing about universal precautions and things. Maybe that makes a difference?
I didn't learn about it until I was learning at the same time to not be afraid of water fountaind and kisses and things. Hmm. Anyway I'd be more worried about the other child, that we'd get them sick before we realized we were contagious.
How would I even know, anyway?
post #62 of 184
absolutely unequivocally YES....it's hard to think about discrimination. I hope if you are able you won't let ignorance of others stop you.
post #63 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dragonfly
How do you figure? I think there are people here who know a lot of normal children. Kids can be unpredictable, particularly very young children who can't express themselves verbally and, so, use physical measures.
I read this thread in one go, and there seemed to be lots of posts about biting, scratching, etc., which is not something I see in my life.
post #64 of 184
Wow. Interesting thread. I really hope it's leading some mamas to reconsider their view of HIV.

I graduated in 1986. And, OMG! The misperceptions about HIV/AIDS were tremendous! I'm sure that figures into many parents' illogical fear.

We homeschool but not because I harbor any weird idea that my children's peers might infect them. My children's hs friends might be HIV+; I don't know. I've never asked. Wouldn't even occur to me.

My youngest child has an "officially" severely-compromised immune system due to the impact of his multiple food allergies. His bloodwork suggests that he should be constantly sick. Except for allergic reactions, he's never been ill. Even so, I don't quite understand how a weak immune system would put a child at greater risk of contracting HIV. It's not like a cold or the flu. My child is at far more risk around a cheese sandwich or an ice cream cone than he is around someone with HIV.

The comparison of a child to a grenade was...thoughtless. Cruel, even. A child with HIV is not designed to hurt another child. I don't let my children play with knives or fire or cheese...but another child ? As long as they've washed their hands. Damn allergies.

Missy
post #65 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by dharmamama
If one of your friends or a fellow playgroup attendee had an HIV+ child, would you allow your child to play with that child?

Namaste!

Abso - flippin - lutely!


Why not? Of course, since my bil has full blown aids, I would consider myself educated on the matter. Unfortunately, not everyone else is........
post #66 of 184
Quote:
Even so, I don't quite understand how a weak immune system would put a child at greater risk of contracting HIV. It's not like a cold or the flu. My child is at far more risk around a cheese sandwich or an ice cream cone than he is around someone with HIV.
It's not that I think my immune-suppressed child is more at risk of contracting HIV, it's that HIV is a disease that can supress the immune system, so I would think my child would be more likely to catch a cold, flu, etc from an HIV+ child, just as that child would be more likely to catch something from other children than a child who was not immune suppressed.

I am extremely cautious with both of my boys around anyone (adults included) HIV+ or not, b/c for DS2 a 24-hour flu (which is what other family members had) turned into a 4-day hospital stay & his stomach not emptying for a month.

AmiBeth
post #67 of 184
I think that this thread is giving an unfair count of what would actually happen in real life. The PC answer is "of course". I know that all who say that here believe they would do it if ever in that situation. When it got right down to that situation, it may or may not happen that way. It is easy to say what we would do - different thing to actually be put to the test.

Also, many who honestly would be too worried to allow it (however guilty they may feel for that - or how low the possibility of transmission) are not going to post that here because they will be thought of as intolerant and uneducated.

I understand the poster who said no or with extreme supervision when the kids are little, but more comfortable with it when they are older and more able to understand universal precautions. I know the risks are low - I think everyone understands the risks are low - but there is the possibility, no? That slight possibility (of a fatal illness) is what scares people.

I'm not sure how you forbid your child from dating someone who is HIV+ (anyone who thinks they can control a teenager must not have met some of us as kids) but that is a frightening prospect to me. Friends with, sure. Dating... it is scary. You are trusting children with some very serious stuff and mixing it up with raging hormones and less than total maturity. I know we let them drive cars and do other things that carry extreme risks.

To the OP, I think it is great that you are getting support here on MDC. I just don't think it is accurate to think that that is how the general public in your town would react. It is sad. No one is proud of feeling that way. But some do - whether they'll post about it or not. I think that many of us could say we'd be fine with our older (10?) child being in close contact with an HIV+ friend - but little kids are so unpredictable. I would want to but I know it would scare me - right or wrong. Maybe some of us would do the right thing once we could put a face on it. I think what we are doing here is just talk - what we think we would do.

I think it is great that you are sponsoring a child - and considering adoption. Lucky child.
post #68 of 184
dh and i both agree, yes. i would assume that the hiv+ child would be aware of any safety precautions he/she would need to take. i'm talking common sense here - no becoming "blood brothers", etc. (yes, i did that kind of stuff as a kid)

nak
lb
post #69 of 184
This is an ignorant thread. How would you feel if your child was HIV positive? I'm SURE you wouldn't be comparing him/her to a grenade.

Quote:
Both can kill a child.
Yeah. So can a million other things.
Like peanut butter. And bumblebees. And serial killers.
post #70 of 184
i wouldn't have any problem with it.
post #71 of 184
For those of you who said no, do you pre-test all potential playmates for your kids?
post #72 of 184
Yep. I'd allow my child to play with an HIV+ child. I'd explain it was very important not to bite her or him, and not to touch blood, and leave it at that. And yes, I'd allow them to be around HIV+ adults as well. Having HIV does not mean you are immoral. What if you got it through rape? Through being born to an HIV+ mother? Should you be ostracized because of what someone else did to you?

And yes, I would allow my teen to date an HIV+ person. Not all teens have sex, you know. I was about as "immoral" as they came and I did not have sex with all my teenage boyfriends.

I also had a "blood brother"...who, ironically, later got HIV.

Since you can't possibly know who has HIV, I think stuff like this just encourages fear of people from Africa and fear of gay people.
post #73 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
HIV isn't transmitted thru saliva. You have to get semen, vaginal fluid, blood, or breastmilk INTO your bloodstream to have any risk of contracting HIV from someone who is positive. It is veryveryvery hard to transmit with casual contact. Why isolate an HIV+ kid and deprive your kid of a playmate because of misinformed hysteria?
exactamundo.
post #74 of 184
Thread Starter 
Thank you to everyone who has responded to this thread. I appreciate the honesty of those who have said no, and I never intended for the "no's" to be villified. My own SIL has told us flat out that she would never allow her child (or herself, for that matter) to (knowingly) be around an HIV+ person, and whether I like or agree with her sentiment or not, I respect her fears (and work to educate her). (Then again, this is the same SIL who told her daughter that even though my son has dark skin, he's probably a really nice person anyway! )

I am heartened that there have been so many affirmative responses, although I realize that MDC is probably a biased sample. We certainly wouldn't base our decision to adopt on public opinion, but I would like to have some idea of what we would experience if we were able to adopt our sponsored child.

Namaste!
post #75 of 184
This thread makes me sad.

Yes I would let my daughter play with a HIV+ child. However, I don't know how I would ever know because it is none of my business.
post #76 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by Greaseball
Having HIV does not mean you are immoral. What if you got it through rape? Through being born to an HIV+ mother? Should you be ostracized because of what someone else did to you?
Testing positive for HIV antiobodies, as a result of consensual sex, doesn't make person immoral, either!!!!!!! The HIV status of a person should not be considered a litmus test for morality!!

I find it such a shame that there exists this hideous stigma over a plus or minus sign. It's so pervasive that people forget its just a virus. It's not a curse. HIV doesn't have a secret agenda to infiltrate our children's bodies.

If people want to protect their kids from big scary things like HIV positive-ness, then maybe they could start by making sure the kids learn to respect themselves and others enough to use protection when they become sexually active.
post #77 of 184
Yes, I totally would. In the same way that I let him play with his HIV+ grandma (step and ex-grandma, but grandma nonetheless). But yes, it is her health that we worry about more than his.
post #78 of 184
I would absolutely let my older children play with an HIV+/Aids child. I would mention the blood thing etc but frankly shouldn't that be a conversation every child has? I would be more cautious about two smaller children playing together. I also see the scab, biting etc possiblities and I already have hypochondriac tendencies. I can see myself being overly cautious and causing the poor child to think something is wrong with him/her. I dont' see why anyone would have a problem with an adult who is HIV+ being around children.

dating-umm...no I would be against it. Doesn't dating usually involve exchanges of bodily fluids? Also, correct me if I am wrong but isn't it considered necessary to use condoms/dental dams etc with oral sex? I know the risk is low but even with men there is occasionally/often fluid exchanged prior to ejaculation.

The thing is to be honest I am not sure what I would do if my child was HIV+ regarding playing with other children etc. I am not sure how comfortable I would be with situtations.
post #79 of 184
I definitely would. Much of my certainty comes from the fact that I used to work at an organization dedicated to children affected by HIV/AIDS (some of the kids were HIV+ themselves and some were not but had parents that were). There is a summer camp every year for small children up to teens, and it was an absolute joy to attend. I think it is important to keep in mind that HIV is a fragile virus that does not live long outside the body, and there has never been a documented case where a person was infected by a household member, relative, co-worker, or friend through casual or everyday contact (http://www.amfar.org/cgi-bin/iowa/ab....html?record=3). In fact, I have known married couples where one was HIV+ and never passed it on to a spouse they have lived with for years (one famous example of this is Magic Johnson and his wife).

As far as breastfeeding goes, it's debated whether breastmilk can pass it on to the child or not, and also debated whether this risk of transmission outweighs the benefits of breastfeeding (especially in sub-Saharan Africa, where there is a high rate of water contamination). However, in the U.S., women are generally advised not to breastfeed if they are HIV+. One of the studies done on this is here: http://www.gawh.org/issues/hiv/pmtct/breastfeeding.htm
post #80 of 184
Quote:
Originally Posted by boston
Testing positive for HIV antiobodies, as a result of consensual sex, doesn't make person immoral, either!!!!!!! The HIV status of a person should not be considered a litmus test for morality!!
I don't think so, either. But there are some ignorant people who do, and if a person was raped, or born to an HIV+ mom, or accidentally needle-sticked, or got a blood transfusion before a certain year, at least the ignorant people can't accuse them of being irresponsible or immoral.

I learned in a class about HIV that 1/3 of HIV cases are from the situations described above, according to the WHO.

Also...doesn't HIV die very quickly when exposed to air? Perhaps the scab-eating kids are safe after all. Gross, but safe.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child?